HE'S IN LOVE.

Jongdae felt his cheeks heating and the embarrassment seeping in after the events at the airport. He was tired and exhausted, yet he couldn't get a wink of sleep, knowing that he was sharing a room with Junmyeon. 

Said man was in the shower, getting ready for bed and Jongdae's mind was racing. 

He didn't know what to do.  

He was in love with Junmyeon, and he couldn't help it. 

Stuff Elvis Presley and his lyrics.

-

After going through the security of the airport and what-not, Jongdae tried to mentally prepare himself for the onslaught of screaming girls and pushing crowds. Sure, he loved the fans, but sometimes they just didn't know when to stop and give him space. 

It was a problem all of them had faced before, on several occasions at that. Exo was always travelling, and Jongdae was definitely not a stranger to airports and crowded terminals. But today Jongdae was feeling wheezy, and his breathing was clearly unsteady. 

He wasn't going to blame it on Kyungsoo, even though the vocalist had forgotten to pack his medications a second time. It was mainly Jongdae's fault for having to rely on the latter to do it for him. He felt utterly useless when it came to travelling; the panic attacks didn't help. 

It was always like this. Kyungsoo was in charge of toiletries, Chanyeol and Baekhyun for snacks, Suho the passports, and the rest were responsible for the luggage. Jongdae didn't have a specific job, he really only helped to clean up before they headed out and he held the dorm room key around his neck. 

Kyungsoo muttered his apologies and Jongdae could see the latter felt terribly guilty for not packing the medication, but Jongdae assured him that the medication he took the night before was enough to compensate him until late afternoon. 

It was obviously a lie, and Kyungsoo could probably detect the underlying uncertainty in Jongdae's voice, but he nodded and let the situation rest. Jongdae had sent a fleeting glance towards Junmyeon and the latter had his mouth in a hard line, eyebrows knitted together. He wondered what the latter was so worried about.

The plane ride was relatively short, and getting into the airport wasn't too bombarded, seeing as their flight was during the ungodly hours of morning. Jongdae was seated next to the window, and Junmyeon sat beside him, soft music playing the buds in his ears. 

Sighing, Jongdae silently admired the effort and care Junmyeon had laid down for the group. Said man always made sure he was seated next to Jongdae, and always made sure that Jongdae had the window seat. How one could be so selfless and caring, Jongdae didn't know. 

As long as he's known, Junmyeon was one of the only people who could help him during a panic attack. With Junmyeon he felt safest. 

Jongdae felt himself drifting away and soon found himself leaning against the window of his seat. When he next opened his eyes, Junmyeon was gently shaking him, saying. 

"We're here now." 

Jongdae yawned and nodded, stretching his arms. Chanyeol, Jongin and Kyungsoo were sitting in the center row besides them and he saw them standing, getting ready to exit the plane. He followed suit and realized that someone had placed a pillow under his neck to keep from sleeping pains. 

Junmyeon, probably. Actually, it was most definitely Junmyeon. 

When Jongdae looked towards said man, he noticed that he was indeed missing his neck pillow which just happened to be the same as the one that he was sporting around his own neck. Junmyeon was retrieving their carry on bags from the overhead lockers. 

Many of the other passengers were doing so too, and Jongdae stood to help. But, Junmyeon did what he does best and told him, "Sit down, I can do it." 

"But--"

"Jongdae." He gave him that look that says you-do-as-I-say. Sighing, Jongdae sat in defence, but he shifted over to the aisle seat, ready to move when Junmyeon had the luggage. 

It didn't take long, and soon they were past luggage check, and walking towards the doors leading to the open airport, in which Jongdae liked to call a battle field. Filled with endless onslaught of crying, screaming hysterical fans, wanting to get a peek at 'exo'. 

Jongdae felt his breathing--which had been normal up until now--go unsteady. If he was looking, he's sure that his knuckles which gripped the handle of his suitcase, were going a pristine white. The double doors of the arrivals were glass and see through, and Jongdae could feel the tears sprouting in his eyes. 

He couldn't hear much, except the thumping in his head, as they got closer to the doors. The fans were outside, holding up banners in another language--japanese--and their mouths were open, screaming probabaly. Jongdae didn't know, because his ears didn't seem to work. 

Apparently his legs had stopped working too, because the others were soon ahead of him, opening the damn doors. It was cold, no doubt, heck Jongdae was even wearing a scarf and a coat. But he was sweating nonetheless, each bead rolling painfully down his temple. 

He did not want to go out there. He did not want to go out there. He did not--

"Jongdae?" 

He looked up at the sound of Junmyeon's voice, calling his name. Although it was faint, he still heard it and it took effort to turn his gaze from his toes to the older. Junmyeon looked concerned, his face twisted into painful lines. 

Jongdae tried his best to say something, anything in response, but all that came out were dried gurgles. He swallowed and Junmyeon was walking towards him. 

"Are you okay?" He asked. 

Jongdae's eye flitted towards the crowd outside the doors, and he knew that by now he was visibly shaken. Junmyeon sighed, knowing that Jongdae was just anxious to walk through the sea of waiting fans, so Junmyeon came beside him and placed a hand on his lower back, guiding him towards the doors. 

Somehow, with Junmyeon's comforting lead, Jongdae sauntered slowly, yet surely to catch up with his other members. When the doors slid open, Jongdae's breath hitched and screams got louder, his name being chanted somewhere in there. 

His mouth went dry when he felt someone brush his hand, or his side. With the mass amount of bodies in one room, Jongdae was feeling hot and much too claustrophobic. He needed to get out of here now.

He tried looking ahead, but the barriers which were supposed to provide a berth for them had obviously been knocked over, and the amount of bodies around him seemed to double. Guards came in but they weren't fast enough. 

Soon, both Jongdae and Junmyeon were bombarded and Jongdae's knees wobbled beneath him. The sound of strangers surrounded him and he tried to find balance, but it was hard. Then, Jongdae felt Junmyeon's hand slip away and he looked to his side, the panicking in his system much greater. 

His chest felt tight and he couldn't breathe because Junmyeon wasn't by his side, wasn't with him. Then something rammed into his side, and what little breath he had was knocked out of him. THe next thing Jongdae knew, he was on the floor and there was strange boy on top of him. 

The kid looked close to fifteen and definitely crazy, smiling manically at him. Jongdae struggled against him, but the kid seemed to have him pinned, hands pushing down on his shoulders. The boy was talking, his mouth moving fast, but Jongdae couldn't hear a thing over the noise and madness of the airport. 

His head hurt, but he couldn't move. The tightness in his chest increased and he felt as if he was being forcefully pushed under the water and his hands were tied. 

The kid on top of him had been thrown off but it still didn't help, because others were still surrounding him. Hands touched him all over and he curled up, hands over his ears. He could at least hear his pathetic breathing, although it was more like wheezing and gasping for air. 

His knees had come to curl into his chest. 

It was too much, all of it too much. 

And just when he thought he was going to break down and cry, strong hands, familiar hands gently pried his own from his ears. His clench tight eyes opened slightly, and JOngdae must've been crying, because the tears that graced his sockets blurred his vision. 

But the gentle, kind hands that were holding him belonged to none other than Junmyeon. 

He felt so pathetic, but so secure with Junmyeon there. The guards must've gotten the crowd to move away because no one was pushing onto them. 

Junmyeon's mouth was moving, but Jongdae couldn't hear him. And then, he felt Junmyeon pull him up to his feet. Where his luggage went, he doesn't know, but that's the least of worries right now. 

Junmyeon holds his hand and Jongdae grasps back with so much desperation, because although he's calmed down, he still can't breathe properly and his palms are sweating so badly. He's sure Junmyeon senses this, because he begins to walk faster and to Jongdae's relief, they are soon in their van. 

Jongdae doesn't register the other members staring at him with worried looks, being too occupied with Junmyeon. When the doors are closed and the last of the luggage is loaded, Jongdae buries his head into the crook of Junmyeon's neck. 

Junmyeon says something along the lines of, "Get him a paper bag." or, that's all Jongdae can hear. He feels Junmyeon wrap his arms around him and he knows that he is trying to calm him. 

The gentle, yet hesitant, hands on his back are soothing and Jongdae's hands stop shaking as he holds onto the front of Junmyeon's shirt. His chest is still tight, and he begins to panic when Junmyeon pulls away, but stops when it is to give him a paper bag. 

Junmyeon helps him hold it to his mouth and nose as he releases shaky exhales into  the pastry smelling bag. It must be from Chanyeol's doughnut. When he miraculously managed to calm down, Junmyeon held him, and once again, rubbed soothing patterns into the broad of his shoulders. 

It was then and there in the chattering of their car, that Jongdae realized it. All those times in which he'd felt his heart thump out of joy, or his insides light up at the thought of Junmyeon, it became clear. 

He was harboring feelings for Junmyeon; the man who was like an older brother to him. 

And Jongdae didn't know how to stop himself from falling even further for the man who held him in his arms. So Jongdae hid himself deeper into the other's clothes, taking in Junmyeon's scent of vanilla.