Ohohohohohohohohohoho what is this

Youngjae is alerted by Daehyun that there’s commotion in central and the two of them rush to find out what’s up.

Turns out the neighboring province has declared war with their own small district and fighting will need to commence sooner than later. Preferably sooner because if they don’t even attempt to defend themselves they’ll surely be wiped out. It’s a known that they’ll lose many for the sake of everyone, but some survivors is better than zero (which is what will happen if they don’t even try to retaliate).

Being that their militia is small they don’t have nearly enough forces to counter the neighboring province’s, so a draft is put into place for males 18 years of age and older.

Daehyun is 19 and Youngjae is 18, which means they both qualify. While Daehyun has a sturdy build that would theoretically be able to fight, Youngjae does not; he is petite and slender and wouldn’t last through rigorous battling. It would truly take a miracle for him to come out of the war alive.

Daehyun knows this, and in an attempt to save his friend he blurts out the first thing that he could come up with:

“He can’t fight; he’s _______” which naturally shocks Youngjae. He looks to Daehyun who silences him with a hard, knowing glare, trying to tell him to play along. The officers announcing the draft and checking people to see who’s available don’t believe Daehyun and think he’s lying. Daehyun retorts with the fact that if Youngjae is _______ and he dies then the military will have killed an innocent unborn life (which doesn’t look good to anybody in the crowd). To avoid a riot the officers concede, saying that Youngjae’s too frail anyways; he wouldn’t be much of a fighter.

After all the chaos dies down a bit the two return to the place they’ve been staying with a few other orphans and Youngjae confronts Daehyun, angry that he lied. It’s then that Daehyun finally decides to confess to his younger friend, claiming that he’s been in love with him for about five years and that he couldn’t allow the younger to get drafted too. Way too dangerous. Youngjae is stunned to hear this, but also elated because he’s felt the same way for he doesn’t know how long. The feeling is bittersweet however because this doesn’t change the fact that Daehyun will be drafted while he stays behind where it’s safe. He reminds Daehyun that lying to the military is punishable by death and he’s worried because he’s definitely not _______, and Daehyun responds with “I’m probably going to die anyways; at least I’ll have saved your life even if not my own.”

This breaks Youngjae’s heart. How unfair is it that the war that will be taking Daehyun from him is also the reason the two discovered their feelings for each other? It’s cruel, and the two spend the next couple days in a daze, unsure whether to be terrified of Daehyun being drafted or to be happy that their feelings are reciprocated.  

It takes another few days for Youngjae to gather up enough courage to make a bold statement. “What if you do make it out alive, and what if you don’t have to worry about the military dealing with a lie?” When Daehyun doesn’t respond as he tries to decipher Youngjae’s meaning, the younger adds “...what if we make it so that you never lied?” Before Daehyun can react and potentially say “no”, Youngjae crashes his lips into the older’s. Things get heated because the two have suppressed their feelings for so long, Daehyun finally allowing his pent-up emotions to be set free as he rivals Youngjae’s desperate passion.

The last moment before the point of no return, Daehyun looks into Youngjae’s hazy eyes and asks him if he’s really okay with this. “What if you do get _______? What if you have a child? That child might not have a father…you’ll have to raise it on your own...” Youngjae wipes the tears from Daehyun’s eyes, caressing his cheek as he whispers his next words. “Then at least I’ll have something to remember you by, something that continues growing and only becomes more and more like you with time. I’ll have someone with me to remind the world that you really did exist, Daehyun.” He says this, and even though he’s terrified of being wrong, Youngjae truly believes that Daehyun will come back alive. He can feel it. The world isn’t ready to let him slip from its grasp just yet.

Daehyun forces himself to keep from breaking down, deciding to comply with Youngjae’s wish and make it as pleasurable for the both of them as possible. He moves his body with the intention of making them forget about the suffocating cloud of everything negative surrounding them. Youngjae can’t help but lose himself in the sensation that he’d only been able to dream about before and all his worries melt away in the heat of the moment. All he cares about is the closeness of his and Daehyun’s aching bodies, Daehyun’s breath on his neck and the soft cries that escape into the air as they move.

As they finish and return to reality, Youngjae allows his tears to flow freely as he grips Daehyun, afraid to let go. Tomorrow he’ll have to leave, and the younger doesn’t know if he’ll be able to ever let go.

But he knows he’ll have to.

A/N: guess what the _______ means? ' W ' yup. pregnant. This is mpreg oh nooooooooooo (oh yes?)

fun fact i'm actually around 40+ pages into this one single spaced but i quit. i might pick it up again