Some stories are not meant to be written... Some are meant to be lived.

This is one of those...
 

"In the arms of the angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here."

~***~

"She was the only woman that I had truly loved. But I had realized it too late."
-Kyuhyun

"He is my true love. And even though, he had hurt me so. I love him still."
-Seohyun
 

Carrying her favorite flowers, I, once again, visited my beloved wife. I walk to where she is and sat down next to her.

"Joohyun-ah, I am here again. You probably hate seeing me now, but what can I do? I miss you so much. How are you? Ah, by the way, I brought you your favorite flowers. They didn't have red tulips yesterday that's why I was forced to buy the white one. I am sorry about that. Red tulips you said symbolizes true love? No wonder it was your favorite. I am your true love right? And believe it or not, you are mine too."

I couldn't hold back my tears any longer, I lied down next to her, crying and caressing her, "I am sorry. I am so sorry, Joohyun. I love you. I love you so much. I really do."

I've been visiting her everyday. I wish she would talk to me, whisper to me or scream at me. I wish to hear her voice, her laughs and her cries once again. I wish for her to hug me, kiss me and tell me that everything's going to be okay. But I know that it's impossible now, because beside me she lies, with the words "For the woman who had truly loved." written above her grave.

Five years has passed but I still remember everything so clearly.


I got home that night and she served me dinner as usual. I needed to tell her something. As we were eating, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you."

She just continued to eat quietly. I could have sworn that her eyes was screaming 'pain'. But I ignored it.

When we finished eating, she put down her chopsticks and just looked at me straight in the eyes. Silently telling me to speak. The look on her eyes caught me off guard. Love, sadness, pain, hurt and betrayal all flickered in that one moment. And I suddenly didn't know how to open my mouth anymore. But I know that I had to let her know what I was thinking and so I forced myself to speak, "I want a divorce."

She didn't seem to be surprised or annoyed by my words, it was like she knew and was expecting it, instead in her soft voice, she asked me, "Why?"

I avoided her question. Because what would I answer her? Whatever I say will just hurt her more.

Not answering her question had made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. We slept on the same room, but while she slept on the bed, I slept on the couch. When she probably thought that I was already sleeping, I heard her weeping. I knew she was sad, I knew she was hurt, I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. Why it had fallen apart. But I could hardly give her an answer. What would I tell her? That I now love someone else? That she had lost my heart to Lou Yi Xiao? That I didn't love her anymore? That I'm just feeling sorry for her?

The next morning, with a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement. In that I've stated that I'm giving her our house, our car, and some stocks of my company. When I gave it to her, however, I was shocked when she just looked at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent years of her life with me had now become a stranger. I felt sorry for her. For her wasted time, energy and love. But I know that I could not take back what I had said.

Then, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had been expecting from the start. She was like a bomb exploding. She crouched down on her knees, hugging her body tight. It was like she was desperately trying to hold herself together, to not to let herself break, to not to let herself fall into pieces. She was keeping herself from falling apart. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The divorce that I had been thinking about for several weeks have now seemed to be firmer and clearer.

The next day, I came back home very late. I found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but I ignored my growling stomach and went straight to sleep. It was not long before I felt myself slowly succumbing into the dream plane. I was very tired because I had an eventful day with Yi Xiao.

I woke up in the middle of the night, she was still there at the table, writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning, she presented to me her divorce conditions. She stated that she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's time before we officially push through with our divorce. She also requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple - our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

I saw nothing wrong with these requests and so I agreed. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. But just so we could peacefully live our last days together, I accepted her odd request.

I told Yi Xiao about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce." she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we were both awkward.

Our son, on the other hand, knew nothing of what was really going on. He clapped behind us, while shouting delightedly, "Appa is holding Omma in his arms!"

His words brought me from my trance, followed by a sense of pain. I walked from the bedroom to the living room, then to the door with her in my arms.

She had her eyes closed all the while, but I clearly heard her murmur, "Please do not tell our son about the divorce." Then she opened her eyes looking directly at me. Silently begging me with her looks, and so I just nodded, even though I somewhat felt upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, it was easier for us both. She was leaning on my chest and I could smell her fragrance - strawberry with a mix of vanilla. It was the smell that had first attracted me to her. It was the smell that I had always loved. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine w