Everything felt familiar yet so different. It's the same place but now with different people. I never thought after all these years I'll be back to the place where it all started. The place where all my firsts happened. My first crush. My first love. My first kiss. My first heartbreak.

I walked through the halls and I can still remember everything though some seemed kind of blur. But one thing is for sure this is where I first saw you. You were sitting there, at the back row when I first entered this room. You were looking outside, your mind seemed to be flying somewhere far.

When I started talking, introducing myself, you looked at my direction, and I can say you were, you are and you will always be the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

That time I was starstrucked. That time I didn't thought that one day I can call you mine. That I could hold you in my arms. That I could lay a kiss upon your heart-shaped lips. That I could be the reason for your smile. That I could make your heart beat faster. 

I never thought that any of that was possible until one day it all came true. You were mine and I was yours. I was so happy and you seemed to be as well. It was great. Everything was perfect, until life got in the way.

You stopped attending classes. You stopped calling and texting me. I got worried. I have no clue of what's happening.

I went to your house to check on you. I saw your brother going somewhere. I stopped him, asked him about you, I even begged till he finally took me to where you are.

My world crashed as I saw you there - lying with machines connected to your body. Your brother told me that you didn't want me to know about your condition. You didn't want me to see you suffering. You didn't want me to get upset because of you.

You've kept all the struggles, the pain you've been experiencing so that I won't get sad. So that I won't have to worry about you.

That moment I felt useless. I can't even do anything to take away even a bit of pain that you were feeling. I can't save you from what was about to happen. I can't do anything.

I can see how your sickness was giving a toll on your body as each day passed by. That once bundle of joy is now a vessel of bones and skins. I can't even looked at you without crying. But even on that condition, you continue to smile. You continue to fight even though everything seemed hopeless.

But one day, that smile wasn't there anymore. The heart that used to beat my name (as you used to say it) had stopped. Those eyes have closed permanently. Your hands that used to be warm is now as cold as ice.

I tried so hard not to cry. But I can't. I broke down with tears running through my face. I never thought that my first love would end like this. What I thought was a happy ending just took a wrong turn and became my worst nightmare.

Up to this day, I haven't found anyone that could replace you. No one have ever made my heart beat just as much as you did. And I'm afraid no one could ever do that. Because, no matter how many years have passed, I still long for you. I still missed you. I still hope that all of these were a dream - a long long dream.

But maybe they were right. That no matter how much I wanted to bring you back to life, I just can't. Life doesn't work that way. But whatever happens, even that you're gone, you were, you are and you will always be 'My Minki' and I'll always be 'Your Jonghyun'.