"Youngbae-yah! Youngbae-yah!"

Seunghyun who is making a fuss right after he entered the room startled the youngers who are trying to have a serious talk 

"Hyung, dont you know how to enter more quietly?" daesung scolded, slightly frustrated because jiyong still aint going to talk about what happened yesterday. He just sit at the couch staring at the floor, doing nothing at all. Its like as if he lost his sanity together with seungri

"Is there something wrong hyung?" Youngbae asked and seunghyun hesitate for a moment

He wasnt sure if its the right time to bring up the news, seeing jiyong at his current state right now, it may caused him more dilemma

"Hyung? Seunghyun hyung you okay?"

Youngbae's voice snap him back to reality

"Its seungri..." He started, still contemplating whether to say it or not

Upon hearing seungri's name and the way how seunghyun behave, there is definitely something wrong.

Jiyong who looks lifeless just a minute ago, suddenly stood up and grab both seunghyun's shoulders to meet his eyes

"Tell me, Did something happened to seungri?" 

He tried his best not to sound too desperate but its impossible. Its seungri whom they are talking about, his maknae, his love, his life, his everything. How can he not be desperate? And yes, jiyong finally acknowledge his feelings for the younger but its too late. Its ruined. Everything is ruined. 

When he saw the worried look on seunghyun's face, he cant help but to feel scared. He had never been so scared before, even losing his own career that he build up for so long doesnt even scare him. But if its seungri, he always turn into a stupid coward 

"He doesnt go home last night, people found him lying on the forest. unconscious."

"WHAT??" daesung and youngbae asked in unison

Jiyong felt his body shaking, just the thought of losing seungri is already unbearable. How much more if he were to lose him for real? 

"So where is seungri now?"

"I heard they bought him to the nearest hospital"

Without a word, jiyong rushes off. Its like as if his life is on the line, if he were to waste another second, he's afraid that he might not be able to see his maknae ever again. 

--

"SEUNGRI!"

jiyong slammed the door open, he was too busy worrying about his precious maknae that he doesnt even care about manners anymore. He is breathless, bathing in his own sweat. He actually run his way to the hospital, talk about things he could do for the person who means the world to him. The nurse gave jiyong a weird look, but his eyes were too mesmerized at the lovely young man looking straight at his eyes to notice it.  Feeling hypnotize by seungri's addicting scent which he doesnt even know how it reached him from the distance, his feet started to move on its own. Eyes not leaving seungri, he went right by his side and hugged him tight. 

It was this hug that he missed the most. Its been a week since he last held seungri in his arms like this. So warm and comforting. Jiyong's heart suddenly felt rage of overflowing emotions, he's been longing for seungri's touch and affection. He's been dying to feel it once more. 

But seungri isnt moving at all, he doesnt seem to respond to the affection jiyong has been giving him. 

He's probably angry. jiyong thought before finally breaking the hug 

He saw the young boy looking at him full of confusion. He doesnt seem to understand whats happening 

why is this guy looking at me with those eyes? Why is he hugging me as if he's afraid that he'd lose me? Do i...know him?

"Mister, do i know you?" Seungri finally asked his thoughts. Still looking puzzled. 

Jiyong got taken aback. He cant believe his ears. Did seungri just asked who he was? Could he have an amnesia? Or maybe because he's still angry at what he did the other night? 

Jiyong sigh. He cant deny it, seungri has every right to get angry to him because he was a jerk, a bastard, a selfish retard that needs to be punished. 

"I know you are still angry at me, but i want you to know that im already reflecting on my mistakes. Im sorry Ri, i didnt mean to hurt you. I was stupid for treating you like that. I... I was just... " 

he cant seem to find the right word to tell the reason behind his ty attitude, he doesnt have the guts to admit seungri his feelings for him, he cant bring himself to tell seungri that it is because he's a coward who fell madly in love with him. 

"What are you talking about? I dont understand. You are saying that you know me and that i was angry at you, but i dont recognize you at all"

Jiyong froze. Seems like seungri is saying the truth. He cant remember him? How come? 

"Nurse! Nurse!" He immediately call for help. There must be something wrong. He thought trying to calm his shaking nerves 

"Yes sir?"

"Did the patient got an amnesia or something? What happened to him? Why cant he remember me?" 
Before the nurse could open to respond, jiyong quickly face the maknae, locking the small adorable face with both hands feeling desperate 

"Maknae-yah, its me. Jiyongie hyung" the tone of his voice is almost pleading but he cant help it. 

This cant be. No. 

--
"Oh hyungs, you came!" seungri greeted rather cheerfully, eyes twinkling showing how delighted he was at the presence of his older brothers who came to pay a visit 

Jiyong looked vague at the sudden change of seungri's attitude. How come he can recognize the other members when he cant even recognize him? 

Maybe his instinct is right after all. Seungri is denying his existence because he's angry 

Serves me right after hurting someone like seungri. He said to himself as a bitter smile escaped his lips

"You can recognize us?" Daesung asked confused. 

I thought jiyong-hyung said seungri cant remember them? 

"Of course i recognize all of you! Why woudnt I? You are my hyungs!" he answered having no clue of the situation he's in. 

"But jiyong is your hyung too. Infact he's your favorite out of all of us!" youngbae informed feeling a little suspicious of seungri's behavior. Because he too, is beginning to think that seungri is jut faking it. Its like, he doesnt want to recognize jiyong on purpose. Cause if you think about it, its nonsense. The doctor clearly said that theres nothing wrong with seungri and he can even recognize them all, except jiyong. 

"I do?" Opposite to what he expected, seungri responded quite positively without any trace of bitterness in his voice. Its almost impossible. 

As far as he remember, the seungri they know is so transparent. You can easily see right through him. Whatever emotion he's been having, his face says it all. Their maknae is pure like that.

But now, its clear that seungri isnt faking anything. The youngest is looking at jiyong with expectant eyes. As if seeking for confirmation to  youngbae's statement earlier. 

Jiyong is holding it in, the pain that is killing him slowly inside. He doesnt want seungri to see through his emotion so he smiled. Although it took him all his remaining strength.

I've hurt him enough, now i should bear the consequences

"Yes..." Is all that he could say. 

Upon seeing seungri's doubtful expression, jiyong just cant bear it anymore and excused himself to walk out. 

Youngbae quietly follow him from behind. 

Jiyong's world started to fall apart. He can hear his heart shuttering like glass into million pieces. He never imagine it could be this painful. 

He rested his back at the cold hospital wall, seeking for support as he could feel his body weakening already. He tried hard not to cry, but its unbearable so his tears automatically flows down on his cheeks. 

Youngbae who found his friend weeping at the corner immediately gave a comforting hug. Jiyong finally loosen his guard and let his tears poured out nonstop. 

"Its my fault"

He scolded himself

Its my damn fault. If i didnt ignore seungri, if i didnt become selfish then none of this would happen

"Shh. Stop blami