It wasn't a bad break up. If that's what you're thinking.  It was anything but bad.  It was painful. It was devastating. It was sleepless nights and lonely days.  But it wasn't a bad break up.  It was sad.  But it wasn't bad.

 

It was a mutual decision.  It was a relationship they both decided to end.  It was something they know they should do.

 

He was trying to break into the idol scene and him being in a relationship is a threat. It is a risk they couldn't take. She remembered him promising that he'd come back. That they'd be together again once his dating ban is lifted. But she refused.

 

Jiyong will enter a completely different world.  He would meet new people.  They wouldn't see each other for years.  And if one day he wakes up and realize that he doesn't love her anymore,  she doesn't want him to feel burdened.  She wanted him to live.  To actually live and not get stuck with the past. With their past. She doesn't want him to be binded to her.  She doesn't want him to come back to her out of obligation. She doesn't want him to make promises out of emotion.  Because feelings isn't constant.  It is something that the situation you are in or the people you are with can change. And if they're going to part ways,  they'd part ways without chains.

 

And so they did.

 

It has been twelve years since then.  Twelve years of supporting him from afar.  Twelve years of watching him achieving his dreams. Twelve years of witnessing him living his life without her.

 

He has moved on.  She hasn't.

 

But she does not have an ounce of regret for letting him go. He's happy, and she's happy for him. She's grew accustomed to her situation. She knew the consequences.  She knew that when she let go of his hand that day she will never get to hold him again.  That when she turned her back on him she'd never see him again.  That when she started walking away, she'd never find her way back.

 

She has accepted her reality a long time ago. She's just Lee Chaerin while he's Kwon Jiyong. The superstar.

 

 

 

"OMMMGGGG!"

 

Dara squealed. Eyes beaming and oozing with excitement. Following her is an equally excited Bom and an out-of-place extremely calm looking Chaerin.

 

"Chaerinnie palli, we found or seats."

 

Shouted Bom, motioning Chaerin to come over them. Chaerin nodded but instead of walking fast like what her unnie told her,  she continued walking in a slow pace, looking around. The dome seems so alive tonight, it is buzzing. Anticipation is evident on each of the guest her eyes landed upon. A common sight you would see inside a stadium filled with fans waiting for an impending concert.

 

Last Dance.

 

She read the words on the LED screen at the stage.

 

Yes, this is his group's last concert before enlisting. The only concert she dared to see live for the past twelve years. As silly as it may seem, she wanted to send him off personally. And attending his concert is the only way she could do that. So here she is.

 

The venue is almost full,  just a good 20 minutes before the show so most are already settled.  Some are singing, taking pictures, chattering with co-fans, and updating on social media. The latter is what her unnies are doing.  They're both busily scrolling through their feeds, looking for latest updates as if they are not on the venue themselves.

 

"OMO! SHE'S COMING! "

 

Bom exclaimed making her and Dara look at her.

 

"Who?"

 

Dara asked, peeking at Bom's hand phone screen.

 

"The rumored girlfriend! She's spotted outside the venue."

 

She said showing us the picture on her phone. Chaerin cannot help but admire the woman.  She's beautiful, even as a girl she finds her attractive. Lee Jooyeon. They have never confirmed nor denied anything since the rumor broke out.  Both parties remained silent.  But her being here tonight is like confirming that they are indeed, an item.

 

Fans are craning their necks,  probably trying to find out where the girl would be sitting.  Usually,  they would sit among the crowd (please refer to Hyorin on Taeyang's concert).

 

Chaerin remained still on her seat. Biting her lower lip with her fingers fidgeting. Trying to suppress the pang of pain on her chest. The unnies, as usual, are oblivious. Like the others,  they're also trying to locate the girlfriend.  They do not know about their bestfriend's dilemma.  Nobody knows actually. It is a story Chaerin never shared to anyone.

 

"Shoot they're going this wayyyyy!"

 

Dara said panicking. Chaerin immediately look at where everyone is looking. There she is,  perfectly strutting her way towards her.  It was as if the universe conspires and decided to give her a big slap on her face. Never in her life did she feel intimidated, just now. Seeing them staring at her, she flashes them a gorgeous smile before sitting... beside Chaerin. Double whammy.

 

Chaerin bowed her head low as people started taking a picture of the woman beside her.

 

She could only breath in relief when the lights went off, signaling that the show is about to start. The crowd roared, as five lifts started to ascend in the stage. She held her breath by just seeing his silhouette. She remained silent, eyes fixated at him as the spotlight illuminated the stage making his visage more visible. A smile crept up her lips upon seeing him clearly and she started to tear up. He looks dashing, almost surreal.

 

"MAKE. SOME. NOOIIIISSSSEEEEE!!"

 

He shouted, kick-starting the concert. And the crowd went wild. She feels somehow proud seeing him on stage.  He made it.  It was worth it. Everything's worth it.

 

It was song after song.  They'd sometimes stop to communicate with the crowd. Telling them to not worry about the imminent enlistment.  Assuring them that they'd come back as five and would meet the fans again.  It was bittersweet.

 

They are now performing "Last Dance", members are walking around the stage when Jiyong suddenly jumped off the stage and started walking towards the crowd. There's this walkway towards the VIP seated area, that's where he's walking. Bouncers are preventing fans from coming close to him. It was too late when Chaerin realized where he's going.  He's coming towards their direction. She started panicking as she saw him fast approaching their location.  She immediately excused herself from her unnies and stood up but to her dismay,  people are starting to crowd on their area. He's obviously going towards his rumoured girlfriend and everyone is curious about what he will do next. So she's stuck.

 

"WAAAAAHHHHH! "

 

The crowd screamed in unison and that made Chaerin look towards them. And there she saw him. Holding her hand,  singing in front of her, eyes sparkling with happiness. She felt as if the world stopped spinning.  Suddenly, she cannot hear the crowd around her. All her senses are focused on them.

 

They look perfect.

 

And then it happened. His gaze diverted towards her direction and their eyes met. He suddenly stopped singing much to the confusion of everyone. The crowd fell silent. They were looking at each other for what felt like eternity before she was able to regain herself and tried her best to smile at him.

 

She doesn't know why but these words suddenly escaped her lips.

 

"I'm proud of you.  Be happy, my superstar."

 

She said before turning her back at him and started to run away with tears streaming down her face.

 

 

***

 

Oyeaaaaaa~ a badly written story . Kekekeke .Draft got deleted thrice. Lyf. I miss Jiyong already.  :( And I miss Chae too. :(