Joohyun handed the stone shocked Seulgi a towel, cracking a sheepish grin at the agape mouth that doesn’t seem to close. 

“What-,” Seulgi blinked several times when Joohyun took the towel out of her hand and dabbed at her perspiration, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk,” Joohyun was too focused on her task at hand, her gaze following a droplet of sweat that marked a trail down Seulgi’s neck.

“I’ve already forgiven you,” Seulgi took the towel out of Joohyun’s hand when she had snapped out of her surprise, draping it over her shoulder and picked up her boxing gloves. 

“But you’re still angry,” Joohyun knew that Seulgi had signed on the gym membership with an excuse of keeping fit but it was an outlet for Seulgi to vent her frustrations whenever the couple had a quarrel. The younger was not very good at telling lies and from the shifty eyes, Joohyun knew that her guess wasn’t wrong.

“I'm sorry, Seul. I really don’t mean-“

“I have already told you how I feel,” Seulgi interrupted her, “I don’t know why I’m still feeling this way.” 

Seulgi was not a person who articulated her thoughts verbally. Whenever a conflict happened between the two, Seulgi chose to shut herself out and turned to messaging to revolve it with written words. The younger had once told Joohyun that messaging gave her time to think about how she could formulate her thoughts into words without hurting the other. Joohyun didn’t like this about reservation Seulgi had towards her. Joohyun wanted Seulgi to be honest with her feelings without having to hide any negativity of it. 

“I want to hear from you. Talk to me. Tell me.” 

“I-“ Seulgi melted into Joohyun’s embrace, sighing into soft hair. 

“I want to hear you speak, please. Not just reading about how you feel. I want you to talk to me.”

Day 4:

Joohyun's eyes snap open when the alarm goes off, echoing in the bedroom that is seemingly vacant. She feels an unfamiliar sensation bubbling in the pit of her stomach when she sees the orange toothbrush beside her purple one in the washroom. With a single breath, Joohyun snaps it into half. The anger did not recede after Joohyun had thrown it into the bin. Joohyun spits out her toothpaste, paces around her house and begins filling a bag with things that have a hint of orange.

A toy purple ring that Seulgi had given to her on their first Valentine’s spent together three years ago. 

A handwritten letter that Seulgi mailed to her from New Zealand when she went with her family on a trip in December. 

A white Nike shirt that Seulgi adores and Joohyun had worn home after a sleepover at the younger’s apartment. 

A notebook with casual drawings and love notes that Seulgi had given to Joohyun as a Christmas present. 

Joohyun stares at the polaroids scattered on the floor and the flames ignite, scalding her skin with falling droplets as Joohyun shreds them mercilessly with a pair of scissors. Joohyun catches herself when a sob wrecks her, trembling with the grip she has with clenched jaws. Her chest heaves with every labored breath she inhales and eventually, the emotion breaks out of her into howls of agony. Joohyun weeps for the promises they had, the forever they talked about and the love she has hoped to keep. Joohyun weeps with angry tears and heartbrokenness because Joohyun doesn’t understand why wasn’t she enough. What has she done wrong? Why does Seulgi stop loving her? When have the distance between them stretches so far that it breaks? 

Joohyun was angry because she remembers giving so much to Seulgi but the younger heartlessly left her behind. Joohyun was angry that she still loves Seulgi and would continue giving away if it means that Seulgi would come back. 

Joohyun curls up on the floor, wondering about love until the late afternoon and remembers the smell of coffee. She picks herself up calmly, together with the unsalvageable pieces and heads out of home to clear her head. Her feet brings her into the cafe; her hands tugging the hoodie to cover her blotched face and red cheeks. 

“Irene?” Wendy calls her carefully and Joohyun feels herself breaking again from that shimmer of warmth. She bows her head and asked for her usual to be taken away. She pats her pockets and realizes that she had left her wallet in her bag. 

“Sorry Wendy,” Joohyun’s voice is fragile, “Cancel it. I forgot my wallet.”

“Take it,” Wendy leans over to wrap fingers around thin wrist tenderly, afraid that Joohyun would crumble under her touch, “You can pay me back another day.”

Joohyun immediately loses the fight in her to refuse the kind offer, nodding mutely and turns away from Wendy’s inquisitive eyes. Wendy presses the cup of warm chocolate in her hands, muttering a quick word with her colleague and guides Joohyun to take a seat at a table hidden in the corner of the cafe. 

“Wait for me?” Wendy peers under the shadow of her hood, staring into brown eyes, “I’m ending my shift in ten minutes.” 

“I’m going home,” Joohyun wonders why she ends up in the cafe. Is she going crazy? Or is she craving warmth to make up for the emptiness in her chest, or seeking for a companion because spilling her heart out to a stranger is easier than a close friend.

“Irene, I-“

“Don’t start worrying about me,” Joohyun begins, animosity seeping through the cracks as she brushes off the hand on her shoulder, “Please. I’m going home.” 

If Joohyun uses the word stubborn to describe herself, Wendy is tenfold worse than her. The barista firmly places her palms on Joohyun’s shoulders, fingers pressing relief into her tense body and surprise dispersed the dark clouds over Joohyun. 

“Sit. I’ll be with you in ten minutes.” 

When Wendy returns to Joohyun’s side, the elder cowers back into the comfort of her oversized hoodie. Wendy sits there with her until the silence was unbearable. 

“Why,” Joohyun breaks the silence, “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I know. I understand and I care.”

“You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”

“I don’t know me either,” Wendy speaks so softly that Joohyun doubted what she had heard. She raised her gaze enough and catches a glimpse of the melancholy- a striking difference to the Wendy, the cheery barista she sees. She remembers Sooyoung preaching that everybody has a story behind facades and sometimes, the ones who smile the most are the saddest people. Joohyun sits and waits because Wendy tends to wait for her and Joohyun couldn’t find it in herself to not do that for Wendy too.

There is nothing for Joohyun to lose anymore. 

Seungwan loves Canada. The scenery and seasons were breathtakingly different from Korea. Her sister jokes that the foreign air might help her grow a few extra inches and Seungwan remembers breathing so hard when she first landed that she chokes on her own breath. 

Seungwan loves Canada. Being easily excitable and out-going, she quickly made a group of friends who supported her despite the difficulty in communicating. The hardest part was learning foreign languages. English is a whole new world, Spanish is a necessity and French followed closely. Seungwan gritted her teeth through all her subjects and mastered them, breezing through her exams and scoring remarkably. Seungwan noticed the trouble her friends had and named herself 'Wendy' after her favorite female lead in Peter Pan. Her family told her that 'Wendy' means being a true friend to others and Seungwan loves it.

Seungwan develops a deeper attachment to Canada when her parents migrate the rest of her family to Toronto, bought a luxurious apartment and together with her elder sister, the family of four shared a new life. 

Seungwan loves Canda. Her professors praised her charming voice and cast her in musical and theatre plays. Seungwan had always yearned to sing since she was young and being recognized had her tearing up in happiness. She was finally going to fulfill her dreams of establishing a music career. 

Wendy stops and Joohyun sees a flicker of a foreign emotion immediately fleeting across her features. Joohyun has questions- If Wendy really loves Canada, why is she here? Why isn’t she happy?

Wendy is running away from something- that Joohyun is sure because Wendy forced a laugh at the silence and calls it a day. 

“So that’s my life in Canada and I know-,” Wendy chuckles, “-Seungwan is a boy’s name.”

“It’s not that bad,” Joohyun offers a smile, “It suits you.” 

“Well, it has swag. Thank you, Joohyun unnie,” Wendy replies teasingly, in a sing-song voice. Joohyun’s phone slips from her hand and lands on a table with a loud thud. The term grips her chest with a twinge. 

“How do you know my Korean name?”

“I- Joy called you Joohyun when she came, I thought-“ 

“Don’t,” Joohyun whispers like the air was eluding her and Wendy know that she has pushed Joohyun out of her limits, “Just Irene. My name is Irene.” 

“Okay, Irene,” Wendy ends it there and then. They exchanged phone numbers- a suggestion from Joohyun because firstly, guilt from her occasional outburst of uncharacteristic and uncontrollable emotions and secondly, her motherly instincts from wanting to know why Wendy bears such an expression when all she does is putting others above herself. Wendy laughs heartily and a genuine smile graces her lips that evening, allowing Joohyun to step into her house with a lighter heart.

Joohyun throws a duvet over the mess that was strewn over the floor and decided against touching it again that night. She is finally able to breathe without struggling and the taste of chocolate is still strong on her tongue- the scent of orange shouldn't be grappling with the comfort she has received. Joohyun exhales as she settles into her sheets and distracts herself from the thoughts of Seulgi with her screen lighting up with words from Wendy.