It’s been four long months when he started living in the hectic city of Los Angeles. He’s still not use to living in this country. English wasn’t the challenge for him, it’s the crowd, the people and the places. He still gets lost very easily, his GPS being his only friend when it comes to searching for places. When he’s outside, he tries his best to fit in with the crowd. Knowing he still have some fans that are roaming around in LA, but so far he’s doing good not getting caught by any of them. He loves his fans, and as much as he wants to interact with them, he couldn’t bring himself to because he did not want his location to be revealed. Not now.

 

Namjoon usually just goes outside to eat or buy convenience store foods. He has already found a local convenience store that he can rely on when he just wants to eat noodles or any type of junk food. Usually he just stays at his apartment. It was in the quiet part of the city and it was a simple one. Nothing too luxurious. He decided that he didn’t need anything too expensive, but nothing too cheap either that his life will be at risk. He wasn’t much of a spender anyways.

 

In his apartment, he creates music and uploads it on his youtube channel. He never showed his face on any of his videos or revealed his identity. He created an english name for his account and most of his videos are just a black picture, with beats playing on the background and him rapping in different languages about anything that comes to his mind. He’s actually proud that he can still make money by producing music. It’s not a lot of money like before he worked for BigHit, but it helps pay for his apartment. One time he dedicated a song for ramen noodles. At the time he really thought it was a great idea, now he feels like it’s just another mistake that can’t be removed in the internet. Some fans were quick to notice, saying that the pronunciation of the words, the accent, the voice, it all resembled Kim Namjoon, but it was quickly dropped when Namjoon himself denied all the accusations. Making up lies and saying that it was just a coincidence, and how they weren’t the same person. Even going as far as creating a made up family and other informations that is safe to share with the internet. It’s not like his life will be in danger if he gives out fake information of him, but it just has to look believable. And people did believe it.  

 

Namjoon just got home from his trip to the convenience store, he decided that he just wanted to relax today, watch some Marvel movies and drink beer. Honestly, he’s content with his life right now. It’s normal and it’s very peaceful. He can just do whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it. It’s just the same as when he lives in Korea.

 

The only difference is that, there is  no more Jimin who will bring him a cup of coffee whenever he runs out of it. There’s no more Taehyung who idolizes everything he does. No more Jungkook who always exaggerated things and bully his hyungs. No more of Hoseok and Yoongi teasing him about his neglected high fives.

 

And no more Jin.

 

The one who takes such good care of him. The one who makes him food whenever he’s hungry or sad. The one he can never get over with even if he tries his best to forget about his feelings for, because there is just no way he can forget about him completely. Unless, he actually hits his head really hard and get himself amnesia. Maybe Namjoon should actually try that. It would probably hurt less.

 

“I’m so pathetic..” Namjoon sighed. Opening the can of beer and taking little sips. He his Netflix and started watching X men Apocalypse when suddenly his phone started ringing. The ringtone was so foreign to his ears. He never gave his new phone number to anyone. The only reason why he has a phone anyways is because when he’s too lazy to go out and buy pizza. He uses it too call for deliveries only. He quickly grabbed his phone looking at the unknown number. His palms started sweating. He didn’t know who this was or how they got his number. Then he remembered that he watched The Ring a few days ago.

 

No way, I’m too young to die! He took all his courage to press the accept button. He slowly put the phone in his ears. Expecting someone to say 7 days, but the other line stayed silent.

 

“Hello? Who is this?” Namjoon tried to sound polite as possible. He feels as if he sounds nicer then maybe Samara will spare his pathetic life.

 

“Namjoon? Hyung is this you?”

 

Namjoon’s eyes widened at the familiar voice. That soft baby voice that soothes his heart whenever he hears it. “J-Jiminie? How did you get my number?”

 

He heard a sigh of relief and the little sobs that Jimin let out. “H-Hyung! Hyung I missed you so much. Why did you leave? I-”

 

Namjoon heard someone scolding Jimin and trying to take the phone away from him. There was a lot of background noises that he couldn’t really understand. Hearing Jimin’s voice made him miss them even more so he decided to stay silent, trying to understand the words that was coming out of the phone. He heard some of the other members, they all sounded so worried, frustrated and some even mad? He didn’t know what was going on and he was getting curious, but mostly worried. Then suddenly the background noises couldn’t be heard anymore. The only thing he can hear is someone’s heavy breathing.

 

“Namjoon. You have to come back. Right now.”

 

“Suga? How did you guys get my phone number?”

 

“Listen. Please, just come back. I’ll explain everything later. Please, Namjoon this is urgent.”

 

“Suga just calm down. You  know I can’t... go back there..” He heard Suga let out a frustrated groan. It was new to him since he’s usually calm and collected.

 

“Namjoon.” His voice sounded stern. “You better stop ing with me. Jin is in the hospital and you’re still being selfish and prioritizing your feelings!?” He stayed silent. Of course he didn’t know about it. Shaking in fear, he heard his heart break into a million pieces. He felt all his energy leaving him. He wanted to break down and cry, but he knows it’s not the time for that.

 

Namjoon sat straight and opened his laptop. Looking for available flights to Seoul. Money didn’t bother him. He just wants to get there as soon as possible. He found a flight that was departing in 7 hours and immediately took it. He stood up and went to his bedroom, phone still in his ears. He started looking for his small bag, his passports and everything else he needed for the long flight that awaits for him. He didn’t care too much about looking nice. He just needed to get ready or he will definitely miss his flight if he tries to look like a five course meal.

 

“Songdo Hospital. 5th floor. Room 634.” Suga said firmly and dropped the call. Namjoon didn’t bother saying goodbye and just started reciting the place in his head. Songdo Hospital. 5th floor. Room 634.

 

 

--x--

 

 

It was already afternoon when he arrived at Seoul. The 13 hour flight drained his energy. He couldn’t sleep at all, his thoughts keeping him awake the whole flight. Now that he was here, he was getting cold feet. He was scared to see him again and maybe his wife will be there too, but Suga was right. Just for this once, he should stop being selfish and at least pay him a visit. He left the airport and searched for the nearest taxi.

 

It only took him 20 minutes to get to Songdo Hospital. When he arrived, he saw Jimin and Jungkook at the first floor. Maybe Suga told him that he will be arriving. Jimin gave him a huge smile and was about to give him the biggest hug of his life, but Jungkook went up to him, grabbing his shirt and giving him a distasteful look.

 

“How ing dare you. I can’t believe you actually showed your ing face here.”

 

Namjoon stayed silent. Jungkook had all rights to be mad. After all, he never said anything about him leaving the group or leaving the country. Only the managers knew about this, but they never knew the reason why. Only Jin knows why he left.

 

“Yah! What the hell are you doing!? Is that how you greet your hyungs!?” Jimin yelled and tried to pull Jungkook away from Namjoon but his grip on his shirt tightened more.