“These notes are garbage. Absolute garbage, dude.”, Amber tosses her notebook onto the coffee table in frustration.

 

    You can’t help but grin, “Really? You’re the one that wrote them down.” Your own notes are nowhere close to textbook quality, but at least you can understand them.

 

    Amber gives you a look that’s supposed to be intimidating. “Listen, you’re the one that told me to write my notes in a goofy way that would help me remember this junk. Now I have no clue what ‘no arms, thicc thighs, big s, limestone’ means.”

 

    Your smile doesn’t leave your lips. Your art history class has never given you trouble in terms of grades. In fact, you’ve gotten A’s and B’s in the class the whole time you’ve been in it. Amber on the other hand is lucky to get by with a C.

 

    “I think you were writing about the ‘Venus of Willendorf’.”, You say, once again focusing on your own notes.

 

“The Venus part sounds familiar, but I don’t remember anything about Willendorf.”

 

    Internally you’re screaming, externally you calmly look at her, “Because this entire exam is on the Venus figurines. All of them are called Venus of something. Have you been listening at all this entire week?”

 

    Despite knowing she’s going to bomb the test tomorrow, Amber still grins at your frustration, “You know, I wouldn’t be having trouble with this if you tutored me like I asked you to.”

 

You roll your eyes, “I don’t have the patience to deal with you as a tutor. Hell, I barely have the patience to deal with you as a roommate.” You toss her your notebook, “You can read over mine. I think I’ve got it all memorized anyway.”

 

    Silently she takes your notes and begins looking them over. She’s not saying it, but you know she’s thankful for the help.

 

    All is quiet as Amber studies and you mess around on your phone. After only ten minutes she puts the notebook down with a grown, “my brain hurts. I need a break.”

 

    “You know, this all might be easier if you did get a tutor. Someone who isn't me that can deal with how dense you are.”, You say without looking up from your phone.

 

    “Asking to get a tutor for an elective class? That’d make me look pretty damn stupid.”

 

    “Maybe. But it’s going to be the end of the semester soon, and failing the final for an elective would make you look even more stupid.”

 

    She leans her head on your shoulder, finally admitting defeat, “I hate when you’re right.”

 

    You put down your phone and focus all of your attention on Amber, “It seems like you’ve been struggling in all your classes lately. Is something going on?” Normally she vents about all of her issues to you willingly, but every now and then you have to ask.

 

    She’s quiet for a moment before sighing, “Just daydreaming a lot.”

 

    You have to suppress the smile that’s tugging at the corners of your lips, “About Taeyeon you mean?”

 

    Amber groans as she lifts her head up, “It’s stupid.” Is all she says in response. After a few moments of silence she adds, “She’s talented, beautiful, nice, and all around perfect. Since she started working with me I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.”

 

    “I get that you like her, but it shouldn’t be affecting your grades like this.”

 

    The glance Amber gives you is annoyed but still good natured, “Sometimes I wonder if you’re even human. Do you, like, actually have emotions? Have you been faking them all for all the years I’ve known you?”

 

    You scoff, “Yes, I’m human and I have a wide range of emotions. I’m just not stupid enough to let those emotions get in the way of things that actually matter.”

 

    “In the over two years I’ve known you, I don’t think you’ve ever once had a real crush on anyone.”, She says with a slight smile.

 

“I’ve had plenty of crushes, and I’m pretty sure I’ve told you about all of them.”

 

    Amber laughs, “Seriously? You’ve told me when you’ve thought girls were pretty before, or that you liked something about them, but I’ve never heard anything about any real crush. You always casually mention a girl once, then never again. I have NEVER seen you get all fluttery and giggly over anyone.”

 

    You roll your eyes, “Because that’s just not how I am. Things wouldn’t workout.”

 

    “How do you know if you've never even tried!!!”

 

    “Because we’re in college. I’ve got more important things to worry about than love. I’ll start looking for a serious girlfriend after I graduate and get a job.”

 

    She smirks, “You really are a heartless android aren’t you?”

 

    You sigh in annoyance, “You know I’m not. I just have my priorities straight.”

 

    “Priorities? Acknowledging that you’re NOT acknowledging your lack of emotions should be your first priority. Don’t you get bummed out that you don’t have any love interest in your life?”

 

    “Nope.”, You say with a smile as you stand from the couch, “But I know I’d be bummed out if I was pining after some girl and failing as a result.”

 

    Hearing that makes Amber finally shut up.

 

    “Study more. I’m taking a shower then going to bed. I’ve got an exam to ace tomorrow.”

 

    Friday night you find yourself at a stranger’s house in the middle of a party. It’s not really an abnormal situation for you. Afterall, you’re a college student. Regardless of how studious you are, you don’t see the harm in relaxing and having fun on the weekends.

 

    You’re playing beer pong and winning. The opposing team is two guys whose faces you know, but whose names you don’t. You’re pong partner is a girl named Sulli that you haven’t talked to before, but you’ve seen her around. You’ve always thought she was pretty, then again you think literally every girl is pretty. However, after seeing her grinning, laughing and dancing for the past 10 minutes or so you’re finding yourself more and more attracted to her.

 

    Maybe it’s just how drunk she is, but she seems so bubbly and carefree. Which are traits you always find yourself drawn to.

 

    When you sink the winning ping-pong ball into the other team’s cup you feel slender arms wrap around you and hear adorable giggles directly in your ear. You can’t help but giggle right back as you wrap your own arms around her.

 

    Something about how her body presses against your’s sends a jolt straight between your legs. You close your eyes and will yourself to calm down. Though you wouldn’t exactly consider yourself a ert, you have the same level of wild hormones as just about every 23 year old. Despite that, the last thing you want to do is let lust further cloud your already booze filled brain.

 

    Sulli pulls away and grins at you. She seems like she’s searching for something to say, but can’t think of anything.

 

    Instead you fill the silence, “Wanna come with me to get something to drink?”

 

    Her smile doesn’t falter, “Sounds good.”

 

    Sulli’s biting and at your neck in a way that you’re sure will leave marks. Oh well. Covering them up will be a problem for future you to handle. You had honestly, stepped outside just to get some fresh air, yet somehow you’ve ended up making out with your former beer pong partner.

 

    You can’t remember who kissed who first, but goddamn, you don’t want to stop. It’s not just her lips that are making you weak, it’s her body and her hands. She hadn’t even tried to stop you from sliding your hands up her shirt. Still, you’re trying to keep them in safe areas; only venturing to her stomach, sides, and back. Just the simple smoothness of her skin is enough to make your own body heat up substantially.

 

    Sulli’s hands, however, aren’t as polite (not that you mind). She had almost immediately went to your chest. Even if your bra is keeping them from your skin, the sensation is still driving you crazy.

 

    “Come home with me”, She whispers into your ear, making a chill run down your spine. You had thought her voice was attractive the second you first heard it. But with lust now tinting it, it’s down right y.

 

    You wish your morals would allow you to say yes, but you know better. Even though your own head is spinning, there’s no way you’re going to take advantage of a drunk girl. You don’t know if she’s in a relationship, or even if she’s straight and you just happened to be in the right place at the right time. The last thing you want is for her to wake up to you tomorrow and be filled with regret.

 

    You chuckle, “You’re drunk, Sulli.”

 

    She snorts, “So are you. What’s your point?”

 

    “My point is making out is as far as I’m willing to go when there’s alcohol involved.”

 

    She rolls her eyes, “What if I told you that I’m plenty capable of making decisions right now?”

 

    You give her lips a soft peck, “I’d call you a liar.”

 

    “Will you at least walk me home? I just live a few minutes away, but I don’t want to go by myself.”

 

    Even with countless shots of vodka in your system, you can tell that this is just a ruse. Chances are she’s hoping that your lust will get the better of you by the time you reach her place. Still, you hate the idea of her walking home alone this late at night.

 

    “Okay. I’ll walk you home. But nothing y is gonna happen once we get there.”, You say resolutely.

 

    She grins, “We’ll see about that.”

 

    You smile and shake your head; she’s not even trying to be discreet about her intentions.

 

    Just like you thought, as soon as you reach Sulli’s apartment she pulls you inside and locks your lips together. You don’t resist, but you’re still not going to let her tempt you into anything more than a kiss.

 

    Her hands creep up your shirt again; her nails skating down your sides. Something about the feeling wakes up all the lust you’ve been trying to keep at bay. You plant your hands firmly on her hips and push her against the wall as your mouth goes to her neck. The surprised but pleasured sound she let’s out only fuels your desire.

 

    As soon as your lips meet Sulli’s again she kisses you frantically. It’s almost maddening. Against your better judgement, you bring your knee up; resting it on the wall directly between her legs. She immediately responds by rocking her hips back and forth to create more friction.

 

    The muffled moans she’s letting out as she kisses you are making it increasingly harder to think straight. You want to stick by your morals, but you also want to see the delirious look of pleasure on her face when you make her come.

 

    Sulli tightly grabs your wrist before guiding your hand under her skirt; placing it high on her inner thigh.

 

    “Please.”, She says in a nearly innocent tone.

 

    You stare at her in the dim light of her apartment. You’re fighting an internal war that is way too evenly matched.

 

    When you only stand there frozen she presses a sweet kiss to your lips before smiling, “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m not dating anyone so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not expecting anything serious afterwards, either.”

 

    You’re chewing on your bottom lip in thought. She sounds and looks sincere enough. She even seems rational enough to not do anything she’ll regret. Still, you’re also drunk so right now your analytical skills aren’t at their peak.

 

    Her hand guides your’s even further inward, “I usually don’t hook up with people like this but… it’s been awhile since I last…” She looks down shyly before continuing, “You’re so pretty and you’ve been so sweet all night…  I trust you.”

 

    You would question the truth of her words if it wasn’t for how earnestly she was looking at you; maintaining study eye contact the whole time.

 

    You usually aren’t one for hookups like this either, especially when there’s alcohol involved. However, it’s been months since you last let yourself indulge in anything ual.

 

    Finally, you give in. Without Sulli’s urging this time, you let your hand slip passed her underwear.

 

    You wake up feeling surprisingly okay; the only thing hinting at how much you drank last night is how abnormally groggy you feel.

 

    You had ended up sleeping on Sulli’s couch, with Sulli herself sleeping beside, well mostly on top of, you. However right now she’s nowhere to be seen.

 

    You stand from the couch and stretch. You were going to go to the bathroom before you left but you can clearly hear the shower running. You hesitate; you could either wait until Sulli’s out to at least say goodbye, or you could just leave. You’re not exactly familiar with one night stand protocol, but a part of you is telling you to just leave because it’s probably what she expects you to do. Or even what she wants you to do.

 

    Still not completely confident with your decision, you walk out of the apartment and make your way home.

 

    It’s a little past noon when you enter your dorm, and as soon as you walk in Amber races towards you. “Where the hell have you been? I told you to text me last night so I could pick you up from that party.”

 

    You give her an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry. I just ended up sleeping over with someone.”

 

    Her look of anger is quickly replaced with a knowing grin, “Oh? What kind of sleepover are we talking about?”

 

    You smile right back, “A y sleepover.” You say simply before walking past her into the kitchen.

 

    Amber follows closely behind you, “You can’t just say that and walk away! Who is she?”

 

    “Just a girl I met at the party.”

 

    She frowns, “So this wasn’t like… something special?”

 

    You pause; was it something special? Oddly enough it’s a question you don’t really know the answer to. Obviously you hadn’t fallen in love with her over night, but the itself hadn’t felt meaningless. Thinking about it doesn’t make you feel dirty or regretful like you think an average one night stand should. Instead you remember it all in vivid detail.

 

    How Sulli had looked, sounded, and felt. It makes the pit of your stomach burn with undeniable want, and it brings a smile to your lips. Maybe it’s just because, despite how systematically you avoid love, you’re a romantic at heart.

 

    After many long seconds of silence you finally answer with a question of your own, “Define ‘special’?”

 

    “Like, are you planning on seeing this girl again? Are you thinking about dating her in the future?”

 

    “Nope.”

 

    Amber rolls her eyes, “And here I thought you might have actually grew a heart.”

 

    “Oh, knock if off. It’s perfectly normal for someone my age to be focused on something aside from dating. But I’m not totally sure if it’s healthy to be following girls around like a lost puppy.”

 

    Amber gives you a playful push, “I don’t follow them around. You make it sound like I’m a stalker or something.”

 

    “Whatever you are, you need to either hurry up and date someone or give up on romance. I’m getting tired of you obsessing over a girl for a few months before finding a new one and doing the same thing all over again.”

 

    “I’m getting tired of how out of touch you are with your emotions.”

 

    You let out a frustrated sigh, “Stop, please.” Even though you know she’s joking, hearing that same thing over and over again doesn’t make you feel too good about yourself.

 

    Seeing that you’re serious, Amber stops. “Alright.” You go back to looking for food and this time Amber joins you; rummaging through the cabinets while you look in the fridge.

 

    “Hey, before I forget, I wanted to tell you that I found a tutor.”, Amber says casually, “She’ll be coming over on Tuesdays and Thursdays until finals.”

 

    You only nod in response. Afterall, at the time it didn’t seem like something that was super important to your own life.