A/N: Hello, it's been 84 years... Haha no but here is a late christmas scenario for you all. I have also posted the same story on tumblr, so if you see it there it is me :). Enjoy and please tell me what you thought!!!

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Chapped lips harshly on the tender flesh of your neck, drawing out a moan. Your fingers clawed hair, desperately needing to grab ahold of something—to grip something solid to prevent falling, you were so close to the edge.

“Sehun.” You whimpered wantonly as his hands slithered down the sides of your stomach, lower still until he gripped your painfully. Being this close to him was unbelievable. Having his body flushed with yours like this, him touching you like this, being with you like this was something you had craved for so long. And by the way he clawed at your leggings in an attempt to rid of the barrier, you could tell Sehun was just as needy for you, just as desperate.

Hands still firmly on your , he hiked you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his slender hips, pulling each other impossibly closer. Lips met hungrily, the want too strong to further prolong and with his attention solely on your delicious mouth, Sehun was somehow able to carry you into his bedroom with ease. His knees hit the end of his bed and you both went tumbling down onto the mattress, causing you both to break the kiss with a giggle.

Sehun used the lack of contact to gaze down at you with a tender expression. It was a look you had longed to be the recipient of for ages, and all you could think about was how quickly you could get used to it. Get used to all of this.

“This is nice,” he murmured, reading your mind. He lifted a hand to brush some hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. The smile that tugged at his lips was as soft as his fingers and you resisted the urge to bite his plump bottom lip. Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck and combed your fingers lightly through his short light brown locks, softly scratching his scalp.

“It is,” you agreed. “What took us so long?”

He chuckled. “I’m not sure, but it’s way overdue.”

“And it can’t wait any longer,” you whispered, using your arms to drag his intoxicating lips back to your needy ones. He didn’t protest, instead moaned with pleasure as he allowed your tongue to slip into and explore his warm mouth. The kiss was long and languid, you both reveling in the new aspect of your relationship.

Once you separated to catch your breaths, Sehun rested his forehead on yours. “Before we go any further, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Okay,” you allowed breathlessly.

He lifted his head again, gently cupping one of your cheeks. Again, you couldn’t get enough of the fond expression on his face, your breath caught in your throat with anticipation.

The hand that wasn’t on your face came up, tracing your bottom lip as he said your name confidently.

You flinched, blinking with confusion.

It wasn’t his voice.

He said your name again, your reaction causing his eyebrows to furrow. Your heart began beating rapidly in your chest as fear crawled up your throat. It wasn’t his. The voice that came out of his mouth didn’t belong to him.

~*~

Your eyes sprang open as someone yelled your name, jerking you into your harsh reality.

Your good friend, Do Kyungsoo, was frowning down at you across the wooden table you were currently sitting at, as unpleased as ever.

“You drooled,” he deadpanned. Quickly, you wiped at your face and tried to shake the sleep of off your body. The two of you were in the school library, studying for your shared final. You must’ve dozed off while writing your notes.

As you caught your bearings and woke up completely, your dream came back in full force and you groaned as if it hit you. You had yet another fantasy about your other friend, Oh Sehun. You hid your face in your hands, feeling your cheeks bloom red with embarrassment.

But, God, it had felt so real.

You swear you could still taste his mouth on your tongue and that alone further pushed the need to kick yourself. This intrusive dream had been recurring sporadically throughout the year. It was always the same: passionately making out and sweet confessions that would lead to something more… naughty. Luckily, you’d wake up before it could get to the X rated stuff. Unfortunately, the dreams further deepened your feelings for him and that was anything but good.

Oh Sehun was your best friend.

Not to mention, he’s been in a relationship for the past year and a half.

But that apparently didn’t stop this dream from bombarding you every chance it got, causing your heart to ache more painfully the next time you hung out with him.

But you knew Sehun very well, and have come to terms with the fact he didn’t see you in that light and never would.

It was undeniably hard, the situation you were in.

And that was why, as damaging it was, you sometimes allowed yourself to succumb to your deeply hidden fantasies. Allowed yourself to dream of a future where Sehun did love you in that way. Where he would gaze down at you so fondly you became shy. Where his love for you was so fierce and strong that being away form you for even a second drove him insane.

Where he realized that you were the one for him after all.

But you stopped believing in happy endings around the same time you stropped believing in Santa Clause.

So whenever you fell into the trap of imagining a life with Sehun as you lover instead of you friend, you quickly shook the thoughts away, quickly finding a distraction.

At that instant, the distraction went by the name Do Kyungsoo.

“Hey!” You hissed at Kyungsoo, well aware of your surroundings. You lifted a hand threateningly at him and he just blinked. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?”

He rolled his large eyes. “Because you look adorable laying in a pool of your own drool.”

“I swear to god!” You lurched over the table in an attempt to strangle your content friend, but he scooted his chair just out of reach, causing you to fall on the tabletop. Awkwardly you laid, your limbs and head dangling off the table in defeat and you wondered—not for the first time—why you befriended the man in the first place.

His phone vibrated beside you and he checked the message. The amused smile plastered on his face slid off his face as he scanned his screen, concern taking its place and that was enough of a reaction to pull you into an upright position, sitting crisscross applesauce on the table’s cool surface.

“What’s wrong?” You asked anxiously after the slice dragged on and he was still frowning at his now black screen.

He dragged his eyes up to yours. “I…. Sehun needs us. Now.”

~*~

“I just don’t understand,” Kyungsoo admitted softly. His eyes swam as he tried to figure out what he was missing. You didn’t understand either. Sitting stiffly in your chair, all you could do was blankly stare ahead in shock.

Directly to your right sat Sehun. He was resting on his hands, his posture falling into an uncharacteristic slouch. He distractedly twirled his tiny straw around the mug of coffee he had bought and sighed.

“What’s not to understand?” He asked Kyungsoo in his soft-spoken way. “We’re no longer together. Joy and I broke up.”

That sentence made your stomach flip.

“But….” Kyungsoo let his sentence carry. His thick eyebrows furrowed with concern and he bit his lip as he contemplated whether to continue, but he wasn’t known for holding back. “The two of you were just fine this morning.”

You would’ve agreed if you weren’t in such a catatonic state. The four of you always met up for breakfast on Wednesdays, it was routine that semester. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary between them. They were just as affectionate and teasing as they ever were. You remembered because it made you lose your appetite, but you digressed.

Sehun scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. “Well, I mean, we’d been having some problems for the past couple weeks and I guess it just all bubbled over today. Anyways, I thought you guys needed to know since you’re my best friends.”

“Can you tell us why at least?” Kyungsoo urged. It was obvious how truly irked he was by the whole situation.

Sehun shrugged. “School’s getting really tough and I just don’t have the time to juggle school, work, and a girlfriend right now. She understood. It was amicable, Kyungsoo.”

That seemed to be enough for Kyungsoo as he simply took a sip of his steaming hot tea. Sehun’s answer was a bit too casual to you and Sehun himself didn’t appear that affected by the news. He appeared a bit too nonchalant if were to ask yourself, but you didn’t comment on it.

You were too damn ecstatic to really think about anything else.

You felt bad because, well, Sehun just broke up with his girlfriend and yeah that , but you couldn’t fight the relief that flooded you as soon as the news left his lips.

His pink plushy lips that you have always wondered would feel like against your own….

Now you’re getting distracted. The point was, you never felt better and wouldn’t let the guilt from your joy—no pun intended—hit you until you overanalyzed the whole situation in the shower later on in the night.

Sehun calling your name pulled you out of the trance you were in and you blinked for the first time in who knows how long as hands cupped your cheeks, gently turning your head until you were staring into the deepest pools of melted chocolate you’ve ever seen and, damn, they looked delicious.

Sehun said your name again as if he were trying to wake you up and you observed his serious expression. “I’m fine. Really. You don’t have to worry about me, okay?”

He threw you a reassuring grin and you sunk into his grip unconsciously. His body was merely inches away and you could feel the heat radiating off of it comfortingly, like a fire during winter. Flashes of the dream you had only minutes ago came crawling to the surface and your cheeks heated up again as his gaze lingered on you, watching you intently.

Quickly, you tried to think of something to say before he realized just how head over heels you were for him, but he beat you to the chase.

“I’m fine,” he whispered again, but this time sounded like he was reassuring himself more than he was you.

Sehun always put on a strong front for you. Since the two of you met your freshman year of high school, he made a point to act as if everything was always fine—even when it wasn’t. It worried you in the beginning, made you think you weren’t as close as you could be because of the wall he had built. But, over time, you’ve learned how to peer through the cracks, to push the bricks out of the way and expose Sehun’s true colors. This time was no different. His mouth was saying one thing, but his body said otherwise. You noticed the way his eyes wandered around the café every once in a while and how his broad shoulders hunched as if he carried a heavy weight. His actions revealed that, without a doubt, he was hiding vital information about his breakup. The wound was still super fresh, so you didn’t want to push him at the moment, but you feared that he would eventually shut you out completely if you allowed him and you didn’t want him to suffer alone.

He was anything but fine.

Knowing this, you forced a smile and lied back. “I know. You always are.”

~*~

A week had passed since the breakup and Sehun appeared all right. There wasn’t much time for him to dwell in his newfound freedom, what with finals coming up, so instead, he threw himself into studying. You supposed it was an easy distraction, but it made you worry.

Not as much as the fact that he’d been avoiding you also. It was little things, like him canceling on Wednesday breakfast for the first time that semester or the fact that he took hours to reply to your texts and his answers were usually excuses of how busy he was with school and work. You brought it up to Kyungsoo during one of your study dates, his reply was just shrugging and telling you he was just dealing with the breakup his own way, but you weren’t buying that justification.

This wasn’t the first breakup you had to watch Sehun go through, and it honestly wasn’t the worst. You’ve seen what a horrible breakup can do to Sehun, and if anything it made him even clingier to you, claiming you were the only woman besides his mother he trusted, but for some odd reason this time was different. This time he was pushing you away instead of holding you closer.

By the time the weekend rolled around you had enough of his games.

Snow was steadily falling as you climbed up the icy steps leading to Sehun’s apartment. You nearly ate four times and that put you in an even worse mood.

Without bothering to knock, you used the spare key he gave you when he first moved in and invited yourself in. The massive apartment was a second home to you so walking in unannounced was common, but for some reason, as you crossed the threshold, it felt very intrusive, as if you were no longer allowed access. The gray and dark brown apartment was eerily silent being there were three adult males that called it home and you wondered if anyone was here as you took off your shoes and slipped on some slippers they kept just for you—Joy probably used then also but you didn’t linger on the thought—and tiptoes to the main part of the house.

“Hello?” You called. Your voice bounced loudly off the walls. “Anybody here?”

You crept further into the building, closer to Sehun’s bedroom.

“I almost died on the steps! I’m buying you all ice melt for Christmas!” Still no reply as you stopped in front of Sehun’s bedroom door.

You pressed your ear to the cold wooden surface but didn’t hear anything. With a shrug, you pushed the door open and entered as if you owned the place. It’s midafternoon and his blinds were open, allowing the sun to illuminate the otherwise dark room. The blankets on his bed were strung around haphazardly and his computer desk was riddled with half empty chip bags, crumbs, empty bowls of ramen, and giant textbooks. At least the floor was clean.

“Sehun?” You called and then you heard a muffled voice coming from the closed door of his bathroom. With a gulp, you made you way over to it and shakily gripped the doorknob.

I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be doing this. You took a deep breath and slowly began to turn the knob, but suddenly, the door swung open and you go tumbling forward with it, only stopping once you slammed into a slightly damp solid object.

Time stood still as you caught your bearings. You gulped down rising panic and lifted a shaky hand, touching the wall your head was still pressed against. Your fingers rubbed a lumpy smooth surface that definitely wasn’t a wall.

“Uh…” A voice rumbled through your chest and your heart rate spiked with fear. If this wasn’t a talking wall, that must mean….

Slowly, you raised your head, meeting familiar delicate eyes. High-pitched screams left your mouth as your stumbled back, slipping on the wet tile floor and falling painfully on your back.

Sehun was knelt beside you instantly, his arms reaching for you to help, but you were in a panicked frenzy, desperately hitting his hands away as screams still rang around the room.

Your eyes were tightly closed in an attempt to hide from his shirtless glistening broad chest, but even behind your lids, his firm pecks bounced menacingly, an image that was now burned into your mind.

Finally, he was able to snatch your wrists and you froze straightaway. The silence was almost deafening, but you used that time to calm down.

“What are you doing here?” He finally asked. He didn’t sound upset, just curious and a tad amused. You were sure he was trying to hide a -eating grin, but you were afraid to open your eyes.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” You spit back dramatically.

“Cause I just took a shower?” He replied as if you asked a dumb question, which you were positive you did, but you were also too stressed to care.

“Well can you please put on a shirt?” You begged. His chuckles at your visible distress rocked your ribs as he stood, pulling you up with him. As soon as he was sure you could stand on your own he let you go, walking past to probably fulfill your wish.

The distance allowed you to fully come back to your senses. You let out a big breath and finally opened your eyes and turned around just in time to see Sehun pull a plain gray shirt down his long abdomen. You gulped at the shock of skin he quickly hid and tried not to drool and expose your infatuation.

He glanced at you and the corner of his lips quirked up in a private grin and for a split second you thought he knew, but before you could get frantic, he headed over and plopped onto his bed with a sigh.

He crossed his legs at the ankle and rested his head on his arms, the ultimate relaxed pose. “Now, I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?”

“I practically live here,” you replied. You joined him on the bed via belly flop. “Also, I missed you.”

Some would be surprised by how affectionate the two of you were with each other. Saying sappy things such as ‘I miss you’ were common phrases the two of you shared with one another frequently. It was normal. That being said, the reaction you got from the simple phrase surprised you.

“I—you—what?” Sehun sputtered. You watched in fascination as he turned his reddening face away from you and coughed, sinking deeper into the mattress.

“Are you alright?” You quipped, a slow grin spread across your face. You loved the reaction you got from him. It was a side you he didn’t show often and it was refreshing to see him so lost.

“Of course I am!” He nearly yelled and you winced from his volume. He must have noticed, because when he talked again his voice was noticeably lower. “I just…wasn’t expecting that, is all.”

“But I do miss you!” You admitted with a pout. To further prove how much you did, you began rolling around on the bed, throwing a fit and quickly got tangled in his blankets and legs. You latched onto his exposed leg and fought the electric currents that shocked your fingertips down to your stomach, making your skin all tingly. “You’ve been avoiding me all week!”

You’re prepared for him to kick you away and say something sassy that lowkey hurt your feelings, but what he did say caused your eyes to widen with surprise.

“I’m sorry.”

There was a beat of silence as you realized what he said. He apologized to you. Apologized for avoiding you. Honestly, you were amazed that he even confirmed the fact that he was avoiding you, usually he would deny something like that until his death, but he was acting bizarrely at the moment, and you weren’t sure if you enjoyed this side of Sehun or not.

You lifted your upper body to face him properly. His sharp features were soft, his eyes wide with sincerity and for some reason, you had the sudden urge to cry. You cleared your stinging throat and tried to find your voice.

There it was. “Promise you’ll stop avoiding me.”

There is a pause and you caught a glimpse of the old Sehun, the sassy you grew up with, but he held back, only nodding in agreement.

Feeling slightly childish, you lifted a pinky up to his face and he rolled his eyes at the gesture. A small smile crept onto your face, there was the man you fell in love with. You shook your hand slightly, telling him without words to hurry before you started yelling and he chuckled lowly before grudgingly lifting his own pinky out to meet yours. You wrapped your significantly smaller limb around his to seal the promise and maybe it was the sparks that flew from the contact, but it really felt as if it were being made in stone.

You expected Sehun to pull away, but he didn’t. Instead, he watched you with deep controlled breaths, as if waiting for you to make the first move. You concentrated on the contact, reveling in it as if you were being starved and you guessed in a way you were. Starved of having Sehun like this, having him close to you in a way that felt surreally intimate.

Too intimate.

It dawned on you that the two of you had been holding pinkies longer than deemed friendly and you jerked your hand away, scooting as far away from your best friend as the bed allowed.

Why had you held on for so long? What was that? Confusion filled you as you thought about how strange Sehun had been acting since you got here. An awkward silence formed around you both like a giant bubble and the only way you could think to pop it was by pulling out your phone to ‘read’ messages you weren’t getting. You used this time to force your heart to calm down, to force your brain to stop overthinking things and just relax for once.

“So,” Sehun began and you nearly sighed with relief. “The semester ends this week. Kim Junmyeon is throwing an end of the semester party on Saturday.”

You hummed a reply, eyes still glued to your screen even though you couldn’t tell him what you were looking at. You were trying to remain cool, as if he wasn’t controlling the beat of your heart like an orchestra conductor.

“I was wondering if we could go together?”

All logical thought flew out the window. Your body stiffened at his words and the confusion you were already feeling grew. What was his reasoning for this? Didn’t he just breakup with his girlfriend? Was he hinting that he wanted to go with you as something more? There you went again, reading too much into things, but still….

“I mean,” he backtracked. “I’m not with Joy anymore and I kind of don’t want to go alone and you’re my best friend, so it only makes sense if—”

Of course! You are his best friend. That’s all you’ll ever be to him. He’ll never see you as a lover; never see you in the same light you see him. You’ve told yourself this repeatedly, like a mantra, yet he held your pinky for two seconds longer than normal and you’re now mentally planning your wedding. Your mood changed dramatically and you just wanted to go home, regretting coming in the first place. This was a mistake. You should’ve just let him continue ignoring you for reasons unbeknownst to you. You should’ve just let him deal with his breakup the strange new way he wanted to.

“Alright,” you cut him off, not wanting him to continue throwing knifes into your chest. He stares at you with his mouth hanging open. You slid your phone back into your jeans with a sigh, already going to gather your belongings.

“Alright?” He repeated in confused confirmation.

Irritation awoke within you and you nodded stiffly. “Yeah, it makes sense. We can even drag Kyungsoo along. It’ll be fun.”

You could hear how dead your voiced sounded, how tired. You currently didn’t have enough energy to care.

His perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed, he knew just as well as you that Kyungsoo disliked parties and him going wouldn’t lead to ‘fun’. He opened his mouth, probably to question you, but you were done with the situation.

Still annoyed, and honestly wanting to hurt him like he did you, you asked a question. “Speaking of Joy, how are you feeling?”

“I….” he shook his head, trying to keep up with the turns the conversation was taking. You almost felt bad for the man. Almost. He remained quiet for a moment, thinking carefully about his answer. You held your breath in anticipation. He hadn’t brought up Joy or the breakup since first mentioning it a week ago and you were curious. Curious about how he was holding up, about his mental state, about him. Breakups were never easy, no matter who was breaking the heart, and despite outward appearances, Sehun was tender hearted and always prayed for everyone’s happiness.

“Okay,” He settled on and you exhaled with disappointment. He was shutting you out yet again. “I’m getting over it.”

“Yeah?” You questioned, hoping he would get the hint and be more honest with you. He didn’t take the bait and you smiled sadly. “Well, this party should help you with that.”

“I hope so,” he replied, gazing at you intently as if he’s trying to convey more with his eyes.

“Well, I’m glad we’re talking again,” you said. Getting off the bed, you grabbed your belongings and head to the door. “I’ll text you for more details about the party okay?”

“Okay. Good luck on your finals.”

“You too. Goodbye, Sehun.”

You leave without looking back.

~*~

“Would you stop pouting?” Kyungsoo asked. You glanced at the rearview mirror, locking eyes with the man through it. “It’s not our fault you lost at straws!”

“But you don’t even drink!” Your frown deepened and your fingers tightened around the wheel of the vehicle you were driving.

You all were on your way to Kim Junmyeon’s and all you were looking forward to about it was drinking away the pain of finals and Sehun, but those plans diminished as soon as you lost at straws and became designated driver. What made matters worse was that out of the three of you, you drank the most.

“I’ll I had to look forward too was drinking until I passed out in an attempt to make up for the hours I lost studying, but now all I can do is watch others do that while completely sober!”

“If you want, I can DD for yo—”

“No!” Both you and Kyungsoo shouted, silencing Sehun immediately. He was sat beside you in the passenger seat, distracting you with his effortless beauty. Even though you were still angry with him, you understood that it was yourself you were actually angry with. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t in love with you and he was still going through a breakup.

“This night is all about you,” Kyungsoo pressed in a calmer tone.

“Yeah,” you chimed in. “If any of us need a drink, it’s you, Sehun.”

He scoffed. “I told both of you I’m alright, bit if you two insist.”

He patted your head fondly and the affection drew out a smile.

Junmyeon’s driveway was already crowded when you finally pulled in. He came from a well off family and also modeled on the side, so he had a lot of money and his home, as modest as he tried to make it appear, showed it.

This was a hang out spot for your friends, but no matter how many times you’ve been here, the shock never wore off. You noticed a bunch of familiar cars as you got out of yours. Junmyeon decided against throwing one of his infamous college ragers, instead settling on a Christmas get-together with his close friends and you were thankful for that. Kim Junmyeon did have a lot of friends though.

“Alright, let’s go.” You wrapped your arms around one of Kyungsoo’s and he lifted an eyebrow questioningly. Instead of answering his gesture, you pulled him towards the house, ignoring the hot gaze focused on your shared contact with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo yanked the heavy wooden front door open and dragging you in. The foyer was littered with friends and you greeted them happily as you stepped deeper into the house. Kyungsoo’s forest green sweater was itchy to the touch and you wondered how he wasn’t scratching, but the thought left you as a hand pressed firmly against your hip. Your head snapped up to see Sehun closing in beside you, trying not to get lost. With his skin burning you through your ugly sweater, you thanked the lord you weren’t drinking cause God only knew what alcohol would convince you into doing when it came to your best friend.

“Sehun!” The three of you spun around and saw one of Sehun’s roommates, Park Chanyeol, waving a hand to catch his just as tall roommate’s attention. You made your way over to Chanyeol and he led you to the kitchen.

“Nice to see you all finally made it,” he said and you could tell he was already pretty buzzed. He poured two cups and handed one to Sehun, which he politely took, but Kyungsoo and you declined the other one. With a shrug, Chanyeol chugged the entire cup and burped loudly when he finished. Kyungsoo scowled at the action. He wasn’t that big of a fan of the rest of your friend group and that was probably a reason.

“This place is pretty packed for a small Christmas party,” Chanyeol stated, glancing around. Not a corner was empty. At least forty people were present and you heard the door open again as others entered. It looked like it wasn’t going to be that small after all.

“Where’s Junmyeon?” You asked.

Chanyeol smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. “Why? Do you have a meeting with his mouth later?”

“She doesn’t like Junmyeon like that!” Sehun snapped before you could unleash something witty. You pouted with disappointment because it was a great comeback before turning to your best friend, eyeing him as he made a point to glare at Chanyeol. His eyes squinted with more disdain at what left his roommate’s mouth after.

“Oh, so you’re with Kyungsoo then?” At the mention of his name, Kyungsoo slid a foot away from you.

“Are you?” Sehun asked, staring at you intently.

“What? No! Kyungsoo and I aren’t dating, you weirdo!” The urge to hit the top of his head was strong but you refrained because he looked rather crestfallen.

“We would definitely have told you if we were…which we’re not.” Kyungsoo added logically.

“So then, you’re on the market?” Chanyeol stepped closer to you and you took a step back, hitting a brick wall that held your hips lightly.

“Chanyeol, please leave her alone,” Sehun ordered behind you, sounding tired.

“But—”

Sehun slid from behind you and grabbed Chanyeol’s arm, leading him over to the bar where bottles of various liquors twinkled temptingly under the kitchen lights.

With Chanyeol gone, Kyungsoo felt safe enough to stand beside you again. Your arms touched as you leaned in so that you could hear him over the blaring music. “Sehun didn’t seem to like that so much.”

You shrugged, trying not to read too much into what just happened. Instead, you watched Sehun throw back a shot. His back muscles rippled underneath his tight long sleeve shirt and it made your mouth dry.

“He looked sort of jealous, huh? At the idea of you and me.”

You laughed at Kyungsoo’s words. “Sehun? Jealous? I don’t think he even knows what that word means.”

You shook your head at the ridiculousness he had implied. He shrugged. “Doesn’t seem that hard to believe.” He muttered lowly. The bass of the music swallowed his words before you heard them.

“Come on,” you nudged him, needing a distraction that wasn’t alcohol. “I saw some cards on the dining table. Let’s try to have some fun.”

An hour passed and Kyungsoo and you had been keeping yourselves soberly busy. It was tough, the need to drink strong as Sehun came in and out of the kitchen. For the most part, he remained by your side, but then Junmyeon finally revealed himself and kidnapped Sehun. You weren’t too worried though. In fact, you were relieved. Sehun needed this. Needed to let go of his troubles and allow himself to have fun. He held a lot inside and seeing him carefree made you happy, despite not being on the same level.

“Oh ,” Kyungsoo said, straightening up in his seat. He was looking at something right behind you, so you turned around and froze at the sight.

Joy had arrived.

She wore a sparkling red dress that ended mid thigh, her glossy, long, dark brown hair blew in a wind you knew wasn’t there, her make up was perfect and she looked utterly gorgeous, there was no denying that. You could see why Sehun was so infatuated with her.

She glided into the kitchen as if she was floating, a flirty smile sat on her face and you wondered how she appeared so unbothered.

“Her and Sehun are more similar than I thought,” you voiced aloud. Joy didn’t seem to notice her ex boyfriend’s best friends as she made her way over to the bar and a boy rushed to get her and her four friends drinks. She winked at him before sipping the warm liquid, bopping to the music nonchalantly.

“,” Kyungsoo swore again.

“What now?” You asked, turning yet again in time to see Sehun frozen in the threshold of the kitchen. Your heart stopped at the blank expression on his face as he stared at Joy.

“Sehun!” You recognized Joy’s sweet voice over the music and caught her waving him over. When he remained in place, she rolled her eyes and pushed away from the counter she was leaning on, heading over to him.

He exited the area, but she was on his tail, following him out of your sight.

“What just happened?” You asked breathlessly. Kyungsoo must’ve shrugged because he didn’t answer verbally. You felt like throwing up suddenly. “Should we go after them?”

“Nah,” Kyungsoo answered. You sunk into your seat with a pout. You hoped they weren’t going to hook up. It was selfish of you, but you honestly didn’t believe that you could handle Sehun getting back with Joy. Your heart would shatter to pieces so fine they’d turn to dust dare you try to touch them.

Kyungsoo leaned over the table, ruining your discarded game and studied you intently.

“What?” You snapped after a long silence.

As if that were the reaction he wanted, he smirked knowingly. “You love him.”

“As if.” You denied, but your voice was thick with hurt, a dead giveaway.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier. You’re so obvious.”

“Shut up,” you whined, throwing a card at him.

He sunk back into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest so that you were in identical positions. “Why haven’t you confessed?”

“Because.” You began with an eye roll. “Sehun doesn’t love me. Not like that. I’m sure of it, so why ruin a good thing?”

There’s a brief pause and you found yourself shaking from nerves. You hadn’t told anyone about your feelings for Sehun, and doing so now made you feel exposed in the worst way.

Finally, Kyungsoo whistled lowly. “No wonder you wanted to drink.”

“Wow. You’re such a supportive friend,” you said sarcastically, causing him to chuckle.

“Seriously though, I’m sure Sehun does fe—”

You’re attention was brought elsewhere when Joy reentered the kitchen. You caught her eye and she smiled at you knowingly before returning to her friends. They chatted briefly before heading out into the party, not giving you a backwards glance.

“I…I need some air,” you informed Kyungsoo. Ignoring his calls for you, you quickly made your way out through the living room where double French doors lead to a patio. There were a few people outside, but none you were close to, so you were alone. The winter chill woke you up and you took a shaky breath, trying to reign in the tears threatening to fall. You hated how easily Sehun could affect you without trying. You hated how easily you let your imagination dictate your emotions. Nothing could’ve happened between Sehun and Joy. Maybe they were just catching up. Maybe Joy was asking him if he could give her back some things she left? Maybe they made out in a closet? Who knew? You sure as hell didn’t and that fact ate you alive. Also, why the hell did Joy give you that smug look? As if she knew how you felt about him and wanted to make you suffer?

You wanted to go home.

You stayed outside for a long while. You weren’t sure for how long exactly, could’ve been mere minutes, could’ve been over an hour, but someone called your name, drawing you out of your sorrow and you blinked blankly at a wider than the usually wide-eyed Kyungsoo.

“I’ve been searching everywhere for you!” He said, clearly out of breath. He held your shoulders and studied your tear-stained face. “You’re freezing.”

You only shrugged in reply. He bit his lip briefly before taking a deep breath. “I talked to Joy.”

“So?” You asked.

“So she told me her side of the story.”

“Okay?”

He left out an exasperated breath. “Sehun lied to us. He didn’t break up with Joy, she broke up with him.”

That seemed to wake you up a little. “What? Why would he lie about that?”

“Because.” A small smiled formed on his face. “Because he was probably hiding the reason as to why she dumped him.”

You waited for him to tell you but he just remained smiling creepily. “So, are you going to tell me or…?”

His hands dropped from your shoulders and he straightened up. “I think it’s best if you heard it from him.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I’m really not in the mood for games, Kyungsoo. Just tell me.”

“Nope.” Kyungsoo said stubbornly. “Go find him. I haven’t seen him since he talked to Joy, who knows what condition he’s in now.”

As much as you wanted to pry the truth from him, and as much as you didn’t want to see Sehun, the fact that he’d been M.I.A. for a while left you concerned. With a groan, you shoved past Kyungsoo and stomped back inside the party. The booming bass quickly swallowed his chortles. The get together was now a full-blown party and you fought through the crowd. You had no idea where to start searching for Sehun, but luckily, once you returned to the kitchen, you spotted the host himself.

You quickly made your way over to Junmyeon, whose lovely face was bright red and eyes were permanently closed.

“Kim Junmyeon!” You shouted. You swore the music was somehow louder than before you went outside.

He asked if it was you and you nodded with confirmation before questioning him. “Have you seen Sehun?”

“Yeah, he’s there,” he slurred, point up. He was so drunk that he stumbled around even though he was just standing there.

“Where?” You hollered, almost positive you were going to lose your voice the next day. Again, he just pointed up in no particular direction. With a sigh, you grabbed an empty cup and filled it with water, handing it to him. “Drink this.”

He chugged it without a fight, smiling warmly at you and for a brief second, you were struck by his adorableness, but you really needed to find your best friend. You thanked him before rushing out. As soon as you left the kitchen, you noticed the stairs and realized what Junmyeon’s pointing meant.

Taking two steps at a time, you made it to the second floor in a flash. The long hall was sprinkled with people coming in and out of rooms. There were three doors on each side and one directly across from you. This could take a while.

The bathroom was preoccupied and the first three rooms you entered were also—and you were going to be scarred for life now, so there was that. You entered a room you knew was Junmyeon’s bedroom and saw it was empty. You went to close the door when you heard a noise and paused.

It was singing.

Really bad singing but only because the person was really drunk. You crept further into the massive room and spotted another closed door with light coming from underneath it.

You nearly died laughing from the scene.

Sehun was almost passed out in the tub, at least three empty bottles of beet were surrounding him and he held another bottle, pausing his singing to take a quick swig of it before continuing his off key tune.

He finally spotted you and once he did he smiled so brilliantly bright you had to close your eyes. He cheered your name; clearly glad you were there.

“You found me! You found me!” You cheered excitedly. He was beyond drunk, beyond intoxicated. You were surprised he was still awake, that was how drunk he was.

“You alright?” You asked, heading over and kneeling beside the tub.

He caressed your face with a nod. “I am now.

“Come on, it’s time for you to go home.” You reached for him, but he pulled you to a stop.

“Wait! There’s…there’s something I need…tosay.”

He struggled to sit straight. “I—I lied to you. I lied to me too.”

“We can talk about this later, Sehun. Right now, we need to get to the car. Can you walk?”

“I learned howto w—alk as a kid. Of course I know how to…. walk.” He rolled his eyes and you grinned, glad his drunkenness didn’t diminish his fire.

It took some time, but Sehun eventually stumbled out of the tub. With one arm slung over your shoulder, the pair of you wobbled out into Junmyeon’s empty hallway, slowly traveling towards the stairs.

“This is all Joy’s fault,” Sehun slurred in your ear with a pout.

“How so?” You asked, straining to prevent your jealousy to leak into your voice.

“Cause she had to bring up the—” He hiccupped “—the breakup. She’s stressing me…out.”

“You’re this ed up because Joy brought up the break up?” You confirmed. He must’ve taken it way harder than you thought if this was how he reacted to her bringing it up.

He nodded furiously. “She keeps pressuring me to confess. But! I don’tthink I can.”

“Confess?” You asked. You were now at the stairs. With a deep breath, you tightened your grip around Sehun’s middle and braced yourself, taking one step at a time carefully.

“Yeah.” He let out a long tired sigh. “She’s sure I’m in love with someone else. That’s why she broke up with me.”

You nearly dropped him due to your shock. Luckily, you were quick enough to catch the both of you. Your heart sunk at his words. It was bad enough having to watch him be with Joy, but knowing that there was somebody else? That you had lost the race before even getting the chance to play crushed you. Your breathing was labored and you had to stop on the step to get your emotions in check.

“I—I thought you were the one who ended things.”

“Nope. It was all her.” He rested more heavily on you and it you struggled more as you started walking again. “She’s right, of course. She always is.”

Tears sat precariously on your water line at his words. You were so done crying over this man, but he obviously wasn’t done hurting you. What made it worse was how clueless to your pain he was. He inflicted it, but was oblivious to what he was doing.

“I’m in love with you and she somehow knew that before I did. Isn’t that weird?”

“What?” You asked in shock. You passed the last step and get thrown into the party. You’re entire body went numb; you couldn’t feel anything around you. His words weren’t registering in your head. They kept replaying over and over, but you didn’t understand them, it was is if he spoke in another language.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun squealed as your friend somehow found you both. Without saying a word, he grabbed Sehun’s other arm, slinging it around his neck.

“Let’s get your drunk home,” he said, leading you out of the party. You unconsciously follow along, not really paying attention. Sehun was still talking, mumbling under his breath so lowly you couldn’t make out anything he said. You did catch your name a time or two.

The walk to the car seemed to take forever, you were so immersed in your thoughts you weren’t aware that you made it until Kyungsoo said your name, waking you from your trance. You slipped from under Sehun and went to open the passenger door for him. He huffed as all of Sehun’s weight was distributed to his shoulders and practically threw the man into the vehicle before bending over to buckle him in. You barely made out Sehun cupping Kyungsoo’s face affectionately, but it did gain a small grin from you.

Kyungsoo pulled away and closed the door before turning to you. “Are you alright?”

You quickly nodded your head but the action seemed forced and he caught it, opting on not commenting on it.

“Can you drive?” You asked, not really in the right state of mind to be driving. Kyungsoo gazed at you intently, but still remained silent. Without a word, he reached for the keys, which you handed over graciously before diving into the backseat.

Sehun was already passed out and you were relieved. You didn’t think you could handle anything else he had to reveal.

You made it to Sehun’s house in no time. Kyungsoo helped you carry him in and get him into bed. Kyungsoo left the room to get some blankets so that you both could sleep in the living room, but you lingered, watching Sehun for a moment in awe.

Had he really confessed to you?

It felt like a dream, like you made the whole thing up. Shaking you head, you took a step away from the bed, but his hand came up to clasp your wrist.

“Stay,” was all he said. Eyes still closed.

“Sehun,” you whispered. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He grumbled. “Please. I don’t want you to leave me.”

With a sigh and a quick glance to the door, you slid under the blankets, joining him. Sehun instantly wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him so that your head tucked under his. His sighed with content and murmured your name quietly before dozing off. It felt nice, natural, being in his arms like that and you hated how easy it felt.

Your mind was too awake for sleep to hit.

Oh Sehun, your best friend, just admitted to having feelings for you, and you didn’t know how to react.

For one, he was drunk. But the saying did go that drunken words were sober thoughts, right? It explained his odd behavior towards you the past couple weeks. Maybe he had to come to terms with the reality of being in love with his best friend. Maybe, like you, he assumed you didn’t reciprocate those new found feelings of his. You could feel your heart racing, you felt breathless and frightened, but also relieved. Oh Sehun was in love with you. That thought as well as his calming breaths allowed you to drift away and join Sehun into dreamland.

~*~

It was Christmas Eve.

It had been a full week since Junmyeon’s party and you hadn’t seen Sehun once since.

You were avoiding him.

Mostly due to embarrassment because the morning after the party, Sehun didn’t remember anything he said, didn’t remember confessing to you, and the content smile that hadn’t left your face since you fell asleep melted like ice in the sun as your heart cracked.

Maybe he didn’t love you after all?

That sentence had been haunting you since then and you couldn’t bring yourself to see him. Kyungsoo had been chastising you the entire time, practically begging you to stop being paranoid and just confess already, but you couldn’t. Your biggest fear, the one holding you back the most—besides him being with Joy—was being the only one that felt anything and forever changing the dynamic between the two.

You would rather live a life of one-sided misery than lose him completely.

“I already told you, Kyungsoo! I’m not going!” You yelled into the receiver of your phone. You were currently nestled in blankets on your couch, watching cheesy Christmas romcoms and crying into a bowl of caramel popcorn.

A deep sigh left his lips. “It’s our annual Christmas Eve party! We’ve been doing this for four years now and suddenly you don’t want to go?”

Guilt made you mute. He was right, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to see Sehun. You were currently dealing the heartbreak and didn’t need the one that caused it near you; it would only make it worse.

“I’m sorry,” you were finally able to muster.

“You’re stronger than this. At least, I thought so.” He sighed. “I’ll come by later, okay? We can watch some movies and drink hot chocolate. Sound good?”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You could practically hear his eyes roll. “Yeah, yeah.”

After hanging up, you immersed yourself in self-pity. Bailing on a Christmas tradition left you feeling so guilty it was eating you alive and you hoped your dear friends were enjoying themselves without you.

It felt bitter. Here you were surrounded by sparkly Christmas decorations during a time to be with those you cherished most, but you felt so alone. It was all your doing, you knew, so you tried not to wallow in your loneliness.

Hard banging caused you to jump and you froze with popcorn dangling out of your mouth. The banging started again and you yelped, wrapping a blanket over your head for safety.

The knocks were angry and you had no idea who they could belong to. Kyungsoo didn’t seem that upset, but maybe you were wrong.

You fearfully tiptoed to the front door; the vibrations from the knocks could be felt under your feet. With a gulp, you opened the door, but the person on the other side noticed and ripped it open, a tall figure hovered menacingly over you.

“How could you?” Sehun wailed. You blinked in confusion, not expecting him at all. His breathing was hard and you could feel the chill of outside still clutching onto his body. His cheeks were red from the cold and his eyes were wide with anger.

“Sehun?” Was all you could get out. You had never seen him like this and it frightened you.

His wide eyes narrowed into slits. “You honestly were going to ditch our eve party? We do this every year, how could you?”

Oh, so that’s why he was mad. The guilt rose in your throat again as you lowered your head in shame.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. He didn’t even allow you to get the whole sentence out before he slammed the front door shut with rage, causing you to jump again.

“Oh, you’re sorry? That’s all you have to say for yourself? Will you at least tell me the reason why you’re not going?”

You had never seen him so livid. You scrambled for an acceptable excuse, but were so distracted by his fury aimed at you.

“Save it,” he snarled. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at you mockingly. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact you’ve been avoiding me, has it?”

You were amazed by how well he knew you. It was almost comical because despite that, he never knew the abundant love you carried for him.

“What? You think I wouldn’t notice? I have no idea what I did to make you made at me, but this is a tad ridiculous, don’t you think? This holiday means a lot to me, this party means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me, and if you’re not there then what is even the point of going?”

Tears sprang into your eyes at his words. Despite what you feel for him romantically, Oh Sehun was your best freidn, and not taking part of this even made you a bad friend, because this meant so much to him. The guilt you were feeling overwhelmed and crushed you like a tsunami wave, drowning you as you stared up at Sehun who was waiting for you to respond.

“Sehun…. I’m so sorry. It really wasn’t my intention to make you think that. It’s not you I’m made at it’s myself. I…” You swallowed some courage and let your heart talk. “Lately, I’ve been feeling different towards you to the point that it physically hurts me to be around you. I just need some time, some distance so I can figure it all out. That way, I can be the best friend you deserve. I can’t be that right now and I’m sor—”

Sehun cupped your face and suddenly his mouth was on yours. You completely froze in surprise, and he pulled away to shift his head, kissing you again, much softer this time and you melted.

Your lips separated and he pressed his forehead to yours. “I don’t want you to be just my friend. I want so much more than that.”

His thumbs went to work, wiping the tears that fell from your cheeks and you whimpered.

He grinned at you. “I’ll admit I’m a little late to realize this, but I want you close to me. I’ve always needed you near me, but for years made myself believe it was only because you were my friend. I’ve always got upset whenever you talked about other guys and I even started to not like Kyungsoo because I thought you were secretly dating. I told myself it was because I was hurt you didn’t trust me enough, but I realized it was because I didn’t want any guy with you.

“But Joy?” You asked.

He lifted his head thoughtfully, though his hands never left your face. “I think I was using her. I hate to admit it, but she liked me and you didn’t. I thought she would be a good distraction from…whatever it was I was feeling. But she caught on also. She broke up with me, telling me that there was somebody else in my heart and I was being too stubborn to admit it to myself. She told me it was you. That she always knew it was you and that I needed to just ask you out already. He rolled his eyes. “She supports us one hundred percent and has been nagging me since the breakup to do something about it.”

“What about the party?” You pressed.

“She was asking if I had confessed yet. I was so nervous, so sure you didn’t feel the same way and I guess the nerves and doubt got the best of me because I drank way more than I should’ve. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, actually….” You bit your lip in an attempt to hide your smile. “You confessed.”

His eyebrow rose. “I did?”

“Yeah, you told me you were in love with me.”

“Well,” he scratched his neck nervously. “I—I am.”

He squared his shoulders and gazed down at you seriously. “I’m in love with you.”

You finally allowed your smile to shine at his confession. “I love you too, Sehun.”

His smile matched yours. “You do?”

“Of course I do! Why do you think I’ve been avoiding you? You confessed and forgot about it the next day! I thought you had lied to me! I was crushed!”

“Well, let me make it up to you.” He smiled knowingly as he pulled something out of his coat pocket. He held out his palm and a small black box sat on it.

You opened it and gasped as a sparkly silver necklace with a small dog tag with his initials engraved on it shown brightly against the Christmas tree lights. You picked it up, gazing at it in wonder.

“Here’s a token of my heart, which I give fully to you.”

You were overwhelmed with your emotions and a wave of relief hit you. You hopped around excitedly asking him to put it on you. He laughed at your reaction and gently clasped the necklace around your neck. The dog tag sat firmly against your chest, right on top of your heart and you felt it’s weight.

Once you turned back around to face Sehun, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down so that you could kiss him again. His once cold lips warmed up instantly from the sweet contact as his hands held you at the waist, drawing you nearer.

You both were still kissing when a small knock was heard and your front door opened.

“Thank god!” You recognized Kyungsoo’s voice and pulled away. He was leaning against the doorframe, smiling at the two of you fondly. “It’s about time!”

“Shut up,” you said, though it lacked any hostility.

“Well now that you’re both together, let’s go downtown. We have just enough time to catch some Christmas lights!” He exited the house and you stared up at Sehun.

“Do you want to go?” He asked, dropping a quick kiss on your forehead.

“I do now,” you revealed, rushing to grab a coat before taking his outstretched hand.

He was the greatest gift you had ever gotten.