“One large Green Tea Latte.” the waiter announced as he placed the steaming ceramic mug on the wooden table, the decoration wobbling slightly and greeting Juan with the familiar smell of matcha. If there was one thing that could make her feel better, that would definitely be this cup of tea, or coffee, or whatever the heck that was. 

“Thank you,” she mumbled, not really looking up at the man as he nodded in response and moved away to the other customers. The cafe wasn’t as busy as it would’ve been, but that was mainly because it was New Year’s Eve and everyone was busy with their families, parents taking time off to enjoy the snow with the children while friends got together to celebrate by a cozy fire, or a newlywed couple staying in and having a romantic date for two. Basically, everyone was busy with their own relatives, something that Juan didn’t have the opportunity to do considering that her family was a continent away. 

She had moved from China to study abroad in North America in hopes of having a better career opportunity for the future and although it had been almost a year since she’d moved, she still felt homesick during times of celebrations. Christmas hadn’t been the best experience for her, and the upcoming New Year celebration wouldn’t bring her too much good either. She made a mental note to herself not to check her instagram for a few days after New Year’s for she was sure to find things that would affect her even more. 

There had been something so melancholic and saddening whenever Juan would be found spending some time alone with her own presence, wrapped in her own thoughts and always thinking, wondering about things, worrying about aspects of life that she shouldn’t be thinking about yet. But she had gotten used to it, had gotten used to the way her brain would take off without warning and suddenly she’d find herself at impasses, having to juggle between choices and negative emotions that came along with it. 

She didn’t realize the time ticking by, taking a sip of her latte and enjoying the scent, the bitter taste lingering at the edges of as she watched the few passersby’s through the window. Darkness crept in as evening drew closer, the lights on the streets flickering on to give the town a mystical glow. Paired with the snow that echoed with shades of blue, it appeared magical, a muted world of its own that Juan could see behind her window pane. 

“Miss?” 

She was startled out of her own thoughts upon hearing the waiter’s voice by her table. She turned to see him, a small smile etched onto his lips as he tilted his head and his dyed-blonde strands caught the light of the cafe. 

A small part of her wondered if she’d done something wrong. “Yes?”

“The cafe’s service stops at 9:00 pm. Would you like anything else with your order?” He asked politely. 

“Oh no, you can bring me the bill.” she stammered, awkwardly fumbling with her purse as he deftly produced the rectangular slip of paper. She paid for her drink and he thanked her, walking back to the counter probably to drop the money off and count the total set of products he’d sold today. 

There was one other couple at the other end of the cafe, cozied up against each other on one of the loveseats. The man was feeding the woman, who giggled before taking a bite of the cake he held out in front of her face. He smiled and she kissed his cheek in response. Juan’s jaw clenched before she looked away. She didn’t want to think of that. Her last relationship had ended up in flames and there was no reason for her to think back to the times where she had tried and tried to communicate while the other party was doing his best to block her out. Those times were ones of great complication and difficulty, and Juan had vowed herself then, not to let just anyone play with her heart as easily as he had. Having given her heart away so easily had been damaging and more than a little embarrassing, especially when he’d barely reacted to her suggestion that maybe it would be a better idea to break up. 

There had been nothing. No reaction whatsoever, and that had hurt just as much. 

Sometimes you don’t realize how much you waste your time on people who aren’t worth it, until it’s too late, she thought. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

It was the same waiter. The boy. Or young man. Juan looked up into his eyes-- he had kind eyes, soft and without any creases, like ones of a newborn baby as they gazed at the world for the first time-- and took a few seconds to understand what he meant by that. 

“Uh, pardon?” she replied with a question and wanted to cringe at her awkward nature. 

He chuckled, “You just looked like someone who has a lot on their plate at the moment, which is ironic considering that it’s New Year’s Eve.” he cocked his head in thought, “New Year, New Me bull, right?” 

“It’s not really a new year for me.” Juan confessed as she looked away, wondering whether her face looked that miserable for that waiter to stop and ask her about her troubles. She should really work on her facial expressions. For all she knew her face could’ve looked constipated and that was definitely not the prettiest sight. 

“Why’s that?” his brow furrowed. Then, he motioned towards the empty seat opposite her, “Mind if I take a seat?”
“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?” Juan asked as she glanced at the nearby couple, who were now casting them a few suspicious glances from their spot.

“Why? It’s New Years Eve and it’s not like they need me,” he gestured absentmindedly towards their table before raking a hand through his blonde locks. He settled himself down, taking his time to roll his shoulders back and moving his head from side to side as his muscles cracked in relief.

“So,” Now that she took a closer look, his features were soft and feminine. If he dressed as a woman, he’d be a pretty one. “What’s up?” 

“And why should I tell you?” Juan replied, more and more weirded out by the situation. She was used to druggies, to the alcoholics, to the hipsters that did what they wanted. But this guy didn’t fit into any of these categories and that was slightly concerning to say the least. 

He gave her a look as if the answer was obvious. “You don’t look happy, and I’m not the happiest man alive.” He opened up his palms on the table, and Juan’s gaze fell on his hands; small and thin and delicate. Breakable. Fragile. “You’re alone on new years eve and so am I. What better way could we spend this day other than telling strangers our deepest darkest secrets?” 

“If this was any normal situation, I’d already be calling 911 by now.” Juan said. 

“You didn’t though.” 

“I think even thieves and dodgy strangers need a break on new years eve.” 

“Wonderful. We think alike.” He grinned suddenly, causing both eyes to crinkle up into half moons and making him appear younger than he was, “I’m Baekhyun Byun.”

“Juan Li.” 

“Chinese?” 

“Does it matter?” 

“Not really, I guess. Just need a reference for when I brag to my friends about successfully chatting up a stranger.” He grinned again and Juan swore that there was just something about this guy that reminded her of a puppy. A very excited puppy. She could practically imagine him wagging his tail, thumping it against the floor. 

“So Baekhyun the dodgy stranger,” Juan leaned forward and swirled her spoon around her half-finished latte, “tell me, why aren’t you celebrating like everybody else on new years eve?” 

“I’m stuck working in a cafe because I need the money.” he shrugged, “I really wanted to make it sound more interesting, but that’s literally it. What about you? Better give me a good one.” 

“Not really.” Juan snorted, “My family’s far away. My friends are busy celebrating with their own family. That and I don’t really feel like celebrating.” 

“Where’s your family?” 

“China.” she took a sip of her drink, ‘Yours?” 

“South Korea. University?” 

“Yeah. You?”
“Same.” 

“International student?” 

“Yep.” he locked eyes with her, “And I guess you are, too.”

She nodded and decided that the old cracks in the table were much more interesting than the intense way in which his mocha orbs --yes, they were the colour of mocha and damn her for noticing such fine details when she barely even knew him-- were staring her down like he could read literally everything that was going on through her mind. 

“It’s creepy.” She announced before leaning away, “why am I telling you all this?” 

“Because I’m a stranger and you don’t know me, which makes it even better for you because you’re sure that your secrets are safe with me.” He tipped his head forward and a cocky grin spread across his face. Juan knew that he was right, she knew that there was no wrong in what he was saying but it still infuriated her that his statement hit a little too close to home. He was right and cocky, but being cocky was the main issue here. She didn’t enjoy the company of cocky bastards, specially not ones that were s obnoxious as he was. 

She drew back on impulse, not really enjoying the way this conversation was going. 

He must have seen the expression on her face, for he quickly apologized, “Sorry, I didn’t want to be rude.” he said quickly as though he had deeply offended her, “I just felt like you might have wanted some company, but if you don’t I can go--” 

“It’s fine.” she cut him off, “keep me company, or go. It doesn’t really matter to me at this point.” 

Silence enveloped them for a while. Juan was lost in her own pool of thoughts, wandering down memory aisles and thinking back to the times where things were simpler and she was happier with her life. When she was a child, she would always go out and play in the field, was always active and was way better at socializing and fitting in than the awkward mess she has become now. Maybe it was just her, maybe she was the problem. After all, she’d rather spend time in solitude rather than hang out with people that she barely knew. Of course that would make sense, but somehow Juan craved solitude more than anything at some point, she had a very small limit and when that boundary was reached, she was obliged to pull away for fear that she’d be driven crazy by social stimulation. She had to breathe, momentarily take pauses, or else she felt like the world wasn’t working right. 

That was something that grew increasingly prominent as she grew up and somehow Juan was told that it was bad to be like that. It was bad not wanting to socialize, bad to shy away from strangers and bad manners not to smile and be pleasant and purposefully act like you’re the best human being in the world. But Juan couldn’t do that. Contrary to her other cousins, she wasn’t as social, she wasn’t naturally pleasant nor was she charming. She was bashful and clumsy and everything that people didn’t really admire, and being reprimanded for being herself had had its repercussions. Because of this, Juan would rather retreat back, not talk, not say anything at all. It was easier, better this way, because then people wouldn’t have so many expectations for her. People would leave her alone.

“What are you thinking about?” Baekhyun broke the silence, as she thought he would. She classified him as a social butterfly, ones that naturally came with charm and good manners. He seemed pleasant enough, and she was sure that her mother would’ve approved of such a man. 

“Nothing.” The look he gave her at her response made her blurt out the truth, “Okay fine. I was thinking about weird things.” 

“Try me.” he placed his elbow on the table and cupped his chin with the palm of his hand, brown eyes intense with concentration. 

“Well,’ Juan suddenly gulped down the nervousness at the back of , ‘ever done psych?’ 

He nodded. 

“Well, you know how people are classified as extroverts and introverts, right?” he nodded some more and she took this as an indication to go on, ‘But we’re not actually classified in such ways. Not in black and white. Everyone has a little bit of everything, except that some have a little bit more of one thing rather than the other.” 

He hummed in understanding. 

“Take me for example. I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert. I was just thinking about that, that it’s weird how much I love my own company sometimes. It becomes addictive, like a drug. When I’m with people-- and it could be anyone-- I just can’t deal with it. I need to get away, to breathe. I need time to do my own thing because my head’s working too much, or I’m thinking too much. I always wonder whether I’m actually sane, or whether I’m sick. Maybe I have a problem or something. I don’t know.” Juan realized how long of a rant she had produced out of a mere single question, and it was only now that she realized how Baekhyun was gazing at her, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he took in all her words. Juan felt , vulnerable. Maybe he thought of her as a freak now, maybe he thought she was deranged, that she had a problem. 

If she narrated this scene into a story, it would be the ending scene where the cute guy would stand up and dust his pants off before walking out of the door, never to be seen again. That was exactly what she pictured inside her head, for Baekhyun’s expression wasn’t radiating any positive vibes either. 

“Interesting, Juan Li.” was what came out of his mouth instead. 

That was not what she had been expecting, but she’d rather he be interested than bored.
“You’re not making fun of me, are you?” she asked just for confirmation. He laughed at that, and that was when she noticed the small creases underneath his eyes, resting right on top of his cheekbones. It was cute, funny how she hadn’t noticed it before.

“God no.” He said when he caught his breath, “It’s interesting because you see, I’m on the other side of the spectrum. But that too, comes with its own set of problems.’ 

Juan frowned in curiosity, ‘what do you mean?’ 

“You say you don’t like people. I like them.” he said, “but introverts tend to have a small group of friends even then. Friends that they feel comfortable with, you know? It’s nice I guess. But I never got that kind of experience, coming here at least.” 

“I still don’t get it.” 

“I think it’s harder for me to actually make genuine friendships because even though people love talking to me, many won’t confide in me. There’s a difference between speaking with someone because he’s funny and entertaining and speaking with someone because you trust him.” 

That rang true in her ears. She had never thought of that before and the realization was like a slap across the face. She gaped at Baekhyun, wondering why she’d never thought of this before when it was brilliant. It was wonderfully said and there was so much truth lying inside there. It made sense too, because even though she didn’t trust many, she had meaningful, valued friendships with people whom she felt like she could depend upon. 

But Baekhyun was seen as the jokester, the one that people go to only to be entertained. In a way, they were both lonely; Juan because she didn’t want to be there and Baekhyun because nobody really wanted him there when it came down to the nitty gritty. 

“Gave you something to think about, didn’t I?” Baekhyun said with a small chuckle. 

A small smile lifted across her lips, genuinely, for the first time that night as she answered, “How did you come up with this? I’m assuming you didn’t just pull this out of thin air.” 

“I’m a major in psychology.” 

“What?” she almost did a double-take, “You’re kidding?” 

“Hell I’m not.” He laughed some more, loving the expression of shock painted across her face, “Don’t look so surprised. Do I not have the face of a wonderful therapist?” 

“God no.” But she smiled nevertheless, thinking that maybe he was indeed suited for such a job, albeit the fact that she wouldn’t even have dared relate those two possibilities together. Baekhyun and Psychology didn’t make so much sense when you looked at it on the surface, but she could see it now. Then again, she barely knew him. Who was she to talk about what he could and couldn’t do? 

They talked endlessly for hours on end. It felt like time zapped by as easily as one would switch channels on a tv screen. Soon enough, the clock struck midnight and a series of fireworks exploded across the city. Juan could hear their muffled sounds in the fair distance, echoed and softened by the cafe’s walls as they both sat amidst the dim lights of the shop. The couple had left a long time ago, but still they sat there, chatting about literally anything and everything that went by, and for the first time since she came here Juan felt understood by someone over than herself. The knot in her chest loosened and she laughed more genuinely than she ever did before. It didn’t feel forced to stop conversation, nor did she feel like running away at any moment in time although Baekhyun did joke around a few times by asking whether she needed her solitude now that she’d gotten a fair dosage of his presence. But Juan was still fine, still wanted to talk about so many things with this young stranger. He seemed to understand her mind like no one else did, and there was something truly magical about that. 

“Happy New Year, Juan.” Baekhyun murmured softly across from her as the fireworks lighted the sky, reflecting off his face and softening his features that were alight with a genuinely nice smile.

“Happy New Year.” Juan murmured back as she mirrored his smile. 

Maybe this way of celebration wasn’t so bad after all. 

Soooooo LIKED IT? HATED IT? Comment your thoughts down below! I would love to hear some of people's thoughts because I didn't really include any big type of romance here, although maybe I should've. But I've decided to keep this all ambiguous since I feel like it would otherwise destroy the meaning of the message I wanted to convey. Thing is, we're always eaten up by trouble and worries, constantly thinking of what we should've done right and always thinking about what we could've done better when in truth, what we're doing right now, in this moment, at this specific time, is enough. You don't need perfection, just improvement. There are so many grateful things to be happy about and sometimes we all just gotta relax and enjoy life a little. Who will, otherwise? 

I was thinking to keep it as a oneshot but I can see this expanding to become a short story. So Comment down if you think so too! As always, thank you so much for reading and supporting my work. I love you all, and happy new year! <3 

- nutmeggu