Humans are selfish people. Most of them live a life centered around a single letter: "I". What will I wear today? What will I do today? What do I want? Who do I like? But similarly in most people's lives, a part of it is not about "I". Sometimes some of it is about "we". We like each other. We want each other. We need each other. And that simple change in pronoun is what we often define as love. More specifically, it's the kind of love where it's not only about "I" - it's also about you, me, us, togther. 

Problems most often arise when selfishness creeps into the pure heart of love. Suddenly, the thoughts of us are clouded with thoughts of just me. Abruptly, if you want to be mine, you must be this way - wear this, do this, see this, behave like this. The lack of balance and reciprocation suddenly turns the love toxic. And I think I am being this way for you - it is a hallmark of my love. But what I failed to see was that that really wasn't love at all. It was just me, Oh Sehun, all along. 

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Saturday, December 22, 2016 

Jeongdok Public Library, Seoul

There was nothing quite like the library that Da Hae could call home. Somehow the library had an engulfing warmth and acceptance to it that seemed to, if temporarily, fill the void of her estranged father. To Da Hae, the library was not just books. The library was a world in each bundle of papers in one place that Da Hae could just throw herself into with a warm cup of coffee and a plush pillow setting. There weren't a lot of things that Da Hae could say that loved her back, but one of them was definitely books. 

All her life Da Hae has been only giving love. Whether it be to her indifferent parents, her superficial friends, or her so-called boyfriend, Da Hae was always the one that put more effort into her relatiosnhips. And as the famous saying goes, the one who loves more is always the one getting hurt. When you love more, people take advantage of your sincerity. They step on you and abuse their position of influence over you. Da Hae knew it was dangerous to be the one that loved more.

But that's what she belived helped her win her boyfriend's heart. Oh Sehun's ice cold barrier against everyone melted the slightest with Da Hae's persistent shows of sincere love and vulnerability. She knew she didn't wear him down enough to hear his sweet words and feel his love, but that was okay. Da Hae would just have to keep loving - and hurting. She was stood up once again. They were supposed to meet today to see the city lights and grab dinner but Sehun was already 3 hours late. Most restaurants were already closed. 

Da Hae couldn't help but think that it wasn't the first time that this happened. It would always be Da Hae that would plan everything by herself, get all excited by herself, spend the whole day getting ready by herself, only to get stood up by someone that never remembered and never cared in the first place. Despite her disappointment, she shook off the negtive thoughts and was about delve back into her book only to be interrupted by the