Feel lonely in a sea of people is a painful truth when you are an idol of the most famous girl group. Surrounded by thousands of fans that love her unconditionally, chanting her name like a mantra, screaming and crying when they saw her, was a temporary relieve from that loneliness though she admits it can be frightening but when the moment she set her foot in the waiting room, especially if she promoting her solo album, without members, the deafening silent hit her like a truck. This is when she missed her members most.

Taeyeon didn’t realize how many times she sighed, feeling bored from lack of interaction with human beings. Now that Tiffany left the company and went to LA for her pursuit of career, making her more and more depressed. True that Fany still a member but it will never be the same. Honestly, she missed her so much. To add to her loneliness, Sunny and Hyoyeon ended their dorm life together. Can you imagine how she feels? This is what we called adulthood. As we grow old, a lot of things change.

She decided to get a new puppy named Zero to (at least) cure her boredom. Every now and then, she posts the pictures and videos of Zero cute and funny actions on her social media account. Does it really help? A little. Yes.

In this kind of situation, the biggest waiting room felt so small and suffocating. The broadcasting station purposely gave her the largest room even though there were only her stylists, manager, and makeup artist using that room for obvious reason; the most sought after solo artist in the country is having her comeback stage and will perform for the first time there. Another reason is the CEO really loves Taeyeon.

Mountain stack of new signed albums on the table. She sighed again; slumping on the couch.

“Ah-I should sign the albums slowly. Now I don’t know what to do.” Taeyeon talked to herself and earn chuckle from her manager.

“Maybe you should pass the album around to the staffs or other idol. Oh, Sunmi is here I think. Maybe we can pay her a visit,” the manager suggests.

“Since Sunmi is the only senior today, why not.” Taeyeon and her manager grabbed couple of albums and went to Sunmi’s room.

She met a lot of junior groups in the hallway and all of them gave 90 degree bow and congratulate her and gave her their CDs. The supposed 1 minute walk turn into 10 minutes when everybody wanted to greet her. Being a nice senior as she usually is, she shyly greet them back with her killer smile and wished them good luck.

When she arrived at Sunmi’s waiting room, she could hear couple of people laughing like they are having good time. “Aa-there are other group too.” She knocked on the door couple of time and turns the knob. She peeks through the opening and saw Sunmi looking at her with shock expression. “Sunmi-yah.” Taeyeon went inside the room and gave a hug.

“Taeyeon! Waaaa- it has been long time,” said Sunmi excitedly.

“I know right! By the way congratulation on your solo debut. Oh- take this,” Taeyeon handed her signed album to Sunmi.

Sunmi took it and said, “Thank you Taeyeon. Waaa, your album is so beautiful and I listened to all your songs. Totally masterpiece I must say.”

“Haish. Stop it.” Taeyeon blushed. “Thank you. I listen to Gashina too and those killer dance moves, the gun part, love it!” she laughed.

Suddenly Taeyeon felt like being watched by someone and she immediately turned her head. Behind her, 9 girls standing up quietly and looking at her with admiration. “Oh!” Taeyeon said.

“One in a million. Hello Taeyeon sunbaenim. We are Twice!” the girls bowed.

“Hello girls. Wow, I didn’t see you there.”

Jihyo, the leader, slightly step forward and said, “We apologize because we should go to your room sooner. We are on our way to you room but since you are here, we would like to congratulate you on your comeback. You are awesome like always.”

“True”. “Right.” Other members agreed with Jihyo statement.

“oh- no no it is okay. I know you guys are super busy now. I used to be like you, remember? So I understand. Thank you.” Taeyeon said humbly.

“Taeyeon sunbaenim is so cool. We never met a senior like you. I’m your biggest fan by the way. I’m a Sone.” Nayeon smiled, showing her cute front tooth.

“Yah! What am I then? I’m not cool enough for you?” Sunmi crossed her arms, sulking and pretending to be mad.

“Don’t be jealous Sunmi. I bet your juniors here adore you more than you know.” Taeyeon nudged Sunmi’s playfully and earn chuckled from their juniors.

Then she saw someone emerged from the back of the crowd, with something in her hand. The girl looks so feminine despite of her stage outfit more or less similar to her other members. The way her body moved was mesmerizing and screaming elegant. Like in slow motion, the girl shyly walks toward her. Seconds feel like minutes.

“….Taeyeon sunbaenim? Are you okay?” the girl asked but to her despair the older girl didn’t budge.

Her voice. So sweet. The kind of voice I would like to hear every day and night for the rest of my life

“Is everything alright?” the girl once again tries to get Taeyeon’s attention by holding the older girl hands softly and this time she managed to pull Taeyeon back from her dreamy state.

When the girl cold hand touched her skin, she felt like an electric wave shocking her and she pull away her hand way too fast.

The girl was taken back a bit.

“I’m sorry Taeyeon sunbaenim.” She felt that she made a grave mistake by touching her great great senior. Moreover it is the first time she meets Taeyeon face to face.

What just happen? Did I…

Taeyeon noticed the girl expression changed. She felt guilty but at the same time she wants to maintain her cool image. The girl and boy crush. “Ehem-I’m the one who should say sorry first. My-my mind went to somewhere else. I-I didn’t realize you are talking to me. Wh-What did you say again?”

Damn, I failed! Why are you so nervous Taeyeon?!

The girl shows her gummy smile because she finds Taeyeon stuttering is cute. She always knows Taeyeon is dorky but seeing it in front of her eyes is something else. Its dream comes true. Oh, come on, who doesn’t want to see Taeyeon like that right?

“Oh, I want to give you this...” she handed a rectangle blue coloured box with red coloured word written on it. ‘Twicetagram’. “This is our first full album. Please support us and listen to it. Maybe not as good as yours but..”

“Aish. No..no.” Taeyeon interrupt. “I’ve listened to it. It is a good song and the choreography is cute. Really suits you, young girls.” Taeyeon took the album and look at the cover. 9 girls. It like a déjà vu. We used to have 9 girls, playing around during photoshoots.

“Taeyeon sunbaenim is not that old.” Nayeon giggles.

Taeyeon smile. “By the way, this is mine. Oh! I only have one signed album. Is it enough? My manager can give you more if you want.”

“It is fine. Moreover, we live in a dorm. We can share. Some of us already download the songs from Melon.” Dahyun said.

“Really?! You girls are so cute.”

Suddenly the manager said something to Taeyeon. Taeyeon nodded.

“Girls, I have to go back to my room. Nice meeting you” she waved good-bye to Sunmi and the girls. She took her last chance to glance over the gummy smiled girl through the closing door and wondering what is her name.

*****

Make up done. Rehearsal done. Taeyeon doesn’t know what to do anymore. She kept refreshing her social media page and scrolling up and down. She sighed again. “Arghhhh!!” she threw her phone on the couch. Feeling frustrated. “I miss them.” She said to no one. Slumping on her seat, breathing loudly through her nose. She is reminiscing the day when this room was so loud with Yoona pranking the members, Yuri and Sooyoung dancing like a fool and Jessica just laying around with Sunny. Tiffany.. Well, Tiffany is always a good person. Walking around to greet and meet the seniors. Flashing her infamous smile. Good old days.

Her eyes wandering around the room. Then she saw the album that she took earlier on the table. “Twice.” She read. “Hmm..simple yet unique.” She opened up the album. There is couple of photocards and a pink photobook. “Nayeon. Jihyo. Mina. Hm..” She turns the pages one by one, looking at the pictures. She recognized these girls from previous brief encounter. How can she forget? Nayeon with cute rabbit teeth. Jihyo with her huge pretty eyes. At first, she thought she is not a Korean. She really has exotic beauty. Then this girl, with the voice she could not possibly forget, Mina. “Her name is Mina, huh.” Suddenly she felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach. What the hell?! Again? Taeyeon was confused. Why she gave that much impact to me? She is beautiful but the other 8 girls are no joke too. Arghhh. I hate this feeling.

Suddenly someone barged into the room. “Taeyeon are you hungry?”

“Oh my God!!”. Taeyeon jumped a bit, startle from the sudden intrusion. “Don’t do that again. I could die you know.” Both hands on her chest. She could feel her heart pounding.

“Oh, sorry. sorry. Hahahaha.” the manager said. “I don’t know that you are so focus looking at that photobook. You should look at your face now.” He laughed because he finds Taeyeon’s face was so hilarious.

“Not funny.” Taeyeon pout.

“Sorry okay. As I was saying, are you hungry because I have Ice Americano and some snacks? We will eat something heavy later.”

“What snacks?”

“Got some cookies, strawberry cupcakes, and tuna sandwich.”

“Great! I want to say you are the best manager ever but you annoyed me earlier.”

“Don’t need that clarification. I know I’m the best.” By that, he quickly went out the room and came back 5 minutes later. “Here. Eat. You are so sensitive when you hungry. Eat a lot.” The manager took a seat beside Taeyeon.

“Shut up.” Taeyeon said jokingly. They have been working together for years. They are like brother and sister, bickering, fighting but at the same time, he always protects Taeyeon.

Taeyeon rubbing her hands together excitedly. She cannot wait to devour the foods in front of her. She took the strawberry cupcake because the topping is cute and looks tasty. “Huh?” She munched slowly, trying to find what is wrong with the cupcake. “Weird.”

“What did you say?” the manager asked.

She looked at her manager with knitted eyebrows. “Nothing. Are you sure this is strawberry cupcake?”

“Of course. I’m not blind and I taste it before. Look, it’s pink and has real strawberry in it. Taste like strawberry too. Delicious.”

Taeyeon thought otherwise. She could taste the strawberry but not as good as her manager described. She put the remaining cupcake on the table and reaches for tuna sandwich. She took a bite. Again, the sandwich taste unappealingly bland. Flavourless. But she was hungry so she finished all the sandwiches. Maybe I’m not feeling well. She brushed off the feeling.

Knock Knock

“Yes.” Said both manager and Taeyeon.

A staff enters and said, “Your turn in 15 minutes. Be ready.”

“Alright.”

Taeyeon get up from the couch and ready herself for the stage.

“Go brush your teeth first, Taeyeon. Your mouth smells like cat’s wet food.”

“What the hell.” She breathes out on her hand and smell. “No, I did not smell like cat’s food.”

“Oouuuhh,” he swatted his hand in front of his nose. “How you cannot smell that? Go. Go.” He took Taeyeon’s small toiletries bag and pushed Taeyeon to the door.

Taeyeon took the bag and said, “I’m going to brush my teeth anyway. Like always. My God! You are so annoying and rude.” She slammed the door on the manager face. She could hear the manager crying in pain. “Suits you.”

*****

Twice just finish their performance and was walking together at the back stage.

“Phew. That was nerve wrecking.” Momo said. “I almost forget the steps during the dance break.”

“Good job girls. We nailed it. Look at Once. They are so happy.” Jihyo the leader, doing the leader thingy. As always. “Let’s go to waiting room and ready for next schedule.”

“Arghh.” Several girls groan because they are so tired. Nayeon did not get enough sleep because she was so excited for the comeback. Jeongyeon too. She was stressed out last night so she cleaned the dorm until late night.

On their way to the waiting room, Mina, who usually doesn’t talk much, suddenly said, “Do you guys smell something on the stage?”

Chaeyeong look at Mina weirdly. “On the stage? What did you smell?”

“Did you fart again Dahyun unnie?” Tzuyu casually asked that question like nothing happen. Everyone laughed.

“Yah!! I never fart on stage.” Dahyun whined.

“No. Not that. I smelled strawberry and something fishy.” Mina said.

Every one look at each other. “Hmm. Strawberry probably from my perfume. Fishy must be from Jeongyeon’s feet. Hahahaha.” Sana laughed and ran away from Jeongyeon who suddenly were pumped up when she heard the accusation. “Stop! Come here you snake!”

“Strawberry and fish? Very strange. Maybe it just your imagination. You are hungry perhaps.” Chaeyeong realized, Mina was really bothered by it when she didn’t even laugh when Sana teased Jeongyeon just now. Chaeyeong is always the first to notice changing in Mina’s expression.

“Yeah. Maybe I’m hungry. I cannot tell because I was so nervous, my stomach flipped inside out.” she giggles. Deep inside, she still felt something was not right because the olfactory experience she had, was so real, she could taste it in . Doesn’t make sense at all. Am I that hungry?

TBC