The sound of the dripping water on the sink inside his bathroom envelopes the silence of his room. Both of us is sitting on his bed, looking at nothingness in front of us, not really know what to say first. After the night of pure bliss, it was time to finally face the horrible truth.

I clutch the bedroom sheets tightly as if it would give me the strength I badly need. I looked at Jiyong at my right side and he too, looks so scared to even start the conversation. One of us needs to speak now. One of needs to be brave. And so I took a deep breath and spoke, "You got in, right? You're going to be a YG trainee?" I wanted to act strong but my voice betrayed me. He looked at me and gave me a nod. I tried so hard to give him a smile but my heart is breaking deep down inside.

"I'm proud of you." I said, while giving him a smile. He didn't respond but rather he grabbed me from my waist and hugged me so tight. He rest his head on my shoulders and just stayed like that for awhile. "I don't know if I should accept though..." he suddenly spoke. His response made me face him, "Waeyo? This is a good opportunity Jiyong. This is the start of your dreams coming true. What's wrong love? What is stopping you?" I asked and when I looked at him, he was looking intently at me too. "You." He said. "I don't want to go. I don't want to be apart from you..." he continued.

If he had told me that on a different occasion, I would have been giddy for it is sweet, but now, it pains my heart.  A lot of things are actually running on my mind right now.

If he goes to Seoul, it will be hard for us. If he goes to Seoul, we will be away for awhile.

Will we even have time for each other?

Will our relationship stay strong in spite of  the distance?

What if he saw someone much better than I am? My stomach drops when I think of anyone else being close to him rather than me. I too, doesn't want him too go. I too, just want him to stay here in Busan. But, I know that if I stop him reaching his dreams, sooner or later, it will also taint not just our relationship but also myself. For all I want is for him to reach his dreams even if that means he's going to be away from me.

And so I put up a braver face this time, faced him and said, "Aisht! Why me? Don't think too much about me love." He didn't respond immediately but just like awhile ago he looked intently into my eyes. When he finally spoke, I felt my heart breaking yet again, "But your eyes says otherwise love." I looked away for I couldn't take it anymore.

The tears I've been holding for awhile now finally drop. It hurts that he will be leaving me here, but it will hurt even more to see him sad not pursuing his dream. I wiped the tears away and faced him again, "I admit it is hard for me too see you go but believe me, I want you to do this."

He was quiet for awhile and just draw circles on my hands. Not long after he spoke, "Love, you know I love you right?" I nodded in response. "We'll get through this. Well make this work." He continued and gave a featherlight kiss on my shoulder. Every damn thing he has said is so sweet, but why is it that my heart seem to be breaking still?

"When will you go?" I finally asked the dreaded question I've been avoiding to ask. "Next week" he simple replied. And just that my heart stopped for a second or two.

One week! One ing week. I wanted to bawl. But if I do, I know he's going to have second thoughts on going there and would probably not accept that training course from YG entertainment. I took a deep breath and joked him, "After a week, I am finally free from your nagging then." I even faked a laughed. Maybe instead of pursuing directing, I should pursue acting. Nope, I take it back, I will never be a good actress for Jiyong didn't even laugh at my supposed to be joke but rather I saw his eyes being watery. "How are you going to survive Seoul if you are being like this?" I asked him.

"Even if I am still here, I already miss you.." he said and suddenly grabbed my face and gave me a gentle kiss.

"Aisht you could really be cheesy!" I said. Please don't go! Please stay by my side. That is what I wanted to tell him but I didn't.

That night I realized that sometimes you have to disregard the pain you are feeling in your heart just to make the person you love happy. I love this man too much that I am willing to go through pain just to see him reach his dreams. "You have to slay Seoul, my Busan Boy!" I told him. He smiled and said "I will."

That night I also realized that sometimes it's not only the butterflies in your stomach that tells you, you are in love,but the pain too.

Seoul is a beautiful place. A place where dreams are chased and made of.

But as for me Seoul makes me sad for it reminds me of disappointments, of heartbreaks.

It reminds me of the night my parents separated.

It reminds me the night I saw my mom shed tears that brought pain to my heart.

Seoul reminds me of the heartbreak I've felt when Jiyong went here.

It reminds of the the person I've lost.

It reminds me of him.

It reminds me of Jiyong.

Funny how I describe Seoul with so much negativity yet here I am walking on its streets, admiring its beauty. Maybe sometimes it is like that. That even if you know that it hurts you, you couldn't erase the fact the it is mesmerizing still.

My thought were interrupted by the sudden ring of my phone.  Ah I almost forgot that I went out to met up some of my friends. I took the call and told Chaerin I was on my way. When I finally reach the bar, I roamed my eyes to find where they are sitting. Not long after I saw them sitting on the rightmost corner of the bar. I immediately went to where they are. "Hey you are late! Did you get lost or something?" Chaerin asked when I finally reached them. I took a sit beside her and answered her "Ani. I just roam around the streets."

"Isn't it beautiful? I'm so happy you are finally back here chingu!" Bom told me and gave me a cocktail in which I immediately drink before I replied to her "I am too.." "Are you really happy to be back here?" Chaerin questioned me and I almost choked the drink Bom gave me. I gave her a confused look and said "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're going to see that again." Chaerin responded and I could hear the anger in her voice. Chaerin was there when I was ruining my life because of that guy.

I took a deep breath before I gave her a reply, "I actually sort of met him already." I said. "WHAT? WHEN? WHY?" She hysterically asked, almost in a shout. Good thing that the bar is noisy, for if not, i'm sure that everyone in there  would looked at our table because of Hyerim's voice.

"To cut the long story short, a friend I met in New York, remember Honey? The stylist? She set me up on a blind date, it turned out that he was the guy he set me up with.." I explained.

"! Fate is ing playing with you Dara! Don't you dare lose to it!" She dramatically said again. Both Bom and I could only shake our heads to her outbursts.

"Will you chill Chaerin. I got this." I told her before I got the cocktail in front  of me and drink it again.

"You better Dara. I don't want to receive a ing phone call from the hospital yet again at 3 in the morning telling me that my best friend was rushed there. I don't want to see you ruin your life once again over that guy..." She said and that is all it takes for me to get the drink from Bom's hand and drink it in one go. Looking at the angry face of Chaerin and the concerned face of Bom made me remember yet again the very reason why I despise Kwon Jiyong.