They said, time heals. But for Kibum, it is the courage. It is about how brave you are admitting that you’re not a perfect human being, that every single person in the world had flaws, scars that turned ambition into obsession. That you made mistakes, purposely or not.
On a daily basis, it’s clear like crystal how he locked himself days, weeks, even months in his room to avoid those fingers pointing directly under his nose, those scoffs and snickers telling him how dumb, stupid, and selfish he is. But nothing freed him from the sorrow eating his heart out.

No one can understand how desperate those nights were when he couldn’t sleep a week straight after his mother left their house as the result of unforgiving huge fight with his father. Her words still incising under his skin inch by inch until now when she said he’s such a coward and selfish son for not entailing his mother and in confusion chose to stay in his father house.

As everything was not miserable enough for teenage Kibum, his father accused him being ungrateful kid after he decided to major in visual design instead of law school like his father. Like his grandfather. Like his great grandfather.

The day after his high school graduation, he got back home only to find all his belonging packed at the porch, front door locked even he already knocked and kicked it continuously. When he realized his father subtly casted him out the place he called home for eighteen years, the door finally shrieked open. The old face of his family’s maid drenched in tears greeted him, scrap of paper gripped tightly in her left shaky hand.

‘Come back home when you got your common sense back.’

Kim Kibum didn’t cry when he swallowed each word before his eyes. His tears started dripping down when the maid slipped 20.000 won in his pants pocket and pushed small lunch box filled with baked mac and cheese to his abdomen. She always knew it’s his favorite.

Minho knew something’s went wrong when he saw Kibum from his bedroom’s window, dragging two suitcases almost as big as him at midnight, down the street in front of his house. He stayed silent when Minho took one from him and led Kibum inside his house. The next following weeks, he became fixed resident of Minho’s attic. His family didn’t say anything when Kibum’s face turned into regular for their breakfast scene. Minho’s mom pretended he just had sleep over like usual. But it’s longer this time.

When finally he got his part-time job at the small publishing house near his university and got the study loan, he moved to his grandmother’s house.

As if expecting it would be happened, his grandmother opened her door gladly when Kibum’s tired face appeared on her fence. She used to be a sculptor before she married Kibum’s grandfather. She was forcedly close her studio to be fulfilled her duty of a decent daughter in law back then. Her parents told her off that being a devoted house wife for famous lawyer is thousand times better than being an amateur artist with pitch black future. She continued painting in her spare time when her husband out of town or they’re free from public events or exclusive banquets of local government. She is the one who supports Kibum’s artistic passion wholeheartedly by hosting him during every vacation because she knew her son wouldn’t allow him to get acquaintance to art since it’s such a wasting time according to Kibum’s father.

Since then, he never expects people to stay in his life. Several encounter happened and everything for him were just not meant to be. In his head he kept telling himself again and again that it was his fault he wasn’t capable to not push people out of his life. Little did he know, tiny part of his heart still cannot blame his parents for what they did to him during his adolescent moment.

Four years passed after his last relationship, he’s pretty sure there would be no one can handle his bad luck. However, time which people expect to heal, decided to be Satan’s minion and trapped him in this confusing situation.

Right by the time he gave up with his lonely life, Eunsook jumped in out of nowhere leaving traces of hope. She’s bright like a meadow in perfect spring, even in her lowest level of her life according to his quick conversation with Minho, makes him wondering if she’s already this beautiful in bad times, how amazing she would when life gave its best day for her.

She looks so tough when Junghee kept yelling at him how fragile she is and this is enticing him, pulling him like a magnet to get a closer look on whatever happened under the surface. Unlike his nature, this time he doesn’t even want to skip a day to see her presence. Life used to chase him around, making him running further and further from his reality’s dinner table. This time, even without invitation, he begged to trespass the dining room for every second he got to see a glimpse of Eunsook’s smile.

It’s too late, he’s completely aware of that. This time, he’s tripped too far.

Eunsook: shopping day with Lady J, I think she’s pregnant
Kibum: whaaat? Are you drunk or..?
Eunsook: hahaha she kept saying she wants ramen, sushi, all those Japanese delicacy the second we left the house
Eunsook: we’ve been around for two hours now
Kibum: where are you now?
Eunsook: waiting for the coffee
Eunsook: one more time she mention sushi, I’ll drag her to the supermarket and shoved the whole salmon to her face
Kibum: I never knew you’re this brutal
Eunsook: you know nothing, Kim Kibum
Kibum: what a geeeeeeek
Kibum: tell me something then
Eunsook: something what?
Kibum: something I don’t know
Eunsook: hmmm
Eunsook: let see
Eunsook: I hate heels
Kibum: me too
Eunsook: isn’t man supposed to love woman with them on?
Kibum: what’s the point seeing grimace on their face?
Eunsook: I said the same to Junghee but then she said I’m insane!
Kibum: she’s a witch, you forget?
Eunsook: heyyyyy still my best friend there!
Kibum: lesson number one: never believe someone who kept asking sushi but dragged you to coffee shop
Eunsook: to be honest, i’m the one who want coffee, but yeah, I’ll let you slide and agree with you
Kibum: geez woman
Kibum: I don’t need your charityyyy
Eunsook: Junghee is right, you’re a sometimes..~~
Kibum: not ing, just be real
Kibum: I’m an honest person
Eunsook: ooooooohh..~~ really?
Kibum: what’s the point of lying anyway? Worst way to waste your timeee
Eunsook: then tell me something honest now

Kibum hesitated for one moment, heart suddenly beating twice faster, his eyes stuck to the tripod standing two meters away from him. Trying to avoid saying some stupid thing he’d probably regret it later, Kibum put his phone secured in his pocket.
But who can handle such level of adrenaline and anxiety in a very short time? Though his mind is fully occupied with hundreds possibility of different scenario besides texting, still he took his phone out again less than five minutes.

Kibum: let see

One deep breath, his fingers tapping on the screen rapidly.

Kibum: you’re beautiful and I like you?

“Are you fifteen or what?”

“Eung?”

Her face looked so annoyed with Kibum’s behavior. It’s rarely for people around him to see Kim Kibum being nervous and making a scene like exactly what happened right now, right foot shaking messily and chewing his inner cheeks. When Luna handed him bottle of water, he snatched it right away, half of the liquid vanished less than five second.

“So, when you’ve do