Song: If You Love Her by SHINee
Author: LalaLucky
Pairings: Kyusung/YeKyu
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Dedicated to: FUNeeCNB
A/N: Mwahaha! Another angst for you all! I'm sorry this one is so short. I only have time for short drabbles.....

I smile….That’s all I could do, smile, and watch as you held the hand of another man.
You’re smiling, so brightly back at me, as if everything has always been alright.

I haven’t seen you for so long, but here we are, running across each other in the streets of Seoul.

“I heard you are a good friend,” The man, you introduced to me as Siwon, said to me as I maintained that painful smile on my face.

I could’ve been more than just a friend, I thought to myself, but I only bite my tongue and nod in response. It was my own cowardice that has left me where I am now.

I hate him, no, I wanted to hate him—this man, Siwon, that now holds your hand….your heart.
Jealousy burned and seethed within me as I watch you smile at him. I couldn’t hate him however, not when he can make you happy, not when he can make you smile so beautifully again.

“How have you been, Kyuhyun?” you ask, so kind and gentle.

I smile again, but you knew it was feigned and your expression falters with realization.

“I’ve been fine,” I lie, and reach forward to gently touch your face, just a light brush of my fingers before I let my hand drop.
I couldn’t be selfish again.

You’ve become even more beautiful, and still as stunning and lovable as ever.
I wanted to run my fingers through your soft raven hair, and to caress your face and press my lips against your soft skin. I wanted you to whisper my name again like you used to, so soft and alluring, and to hold me once again in your warm and comforting embrace.

That night, I was afraid.
I should have came and met you, I should have let you know about my feelings, my undying love for you.

We had been friends for so long, and eventually it began to grow, and I could see you falling deeper as well. I could see it in your eyes, your beautiful golden eyes, the love that you had for me.

That night, you asked me to meet you by the Han River.
You wanted to confess, you wanted to finally acknowledge your love for me.

But I never showed up.

And I broke your heart.

I was afraid, too afraid to love.
Growing up, I had a rough family life; an abusive father and uncaring mother.
And that was why you were always with me; you gave me the love they couldn’t provide. You were always there for me, always there to listen, comfort, and kiss away my sorrow.

But when I knew you fell in love with me as well, I was afraid I couldn’t give the love you deserve. I couldn’t promise you a happy life, nor a good one.
I would become the bane of your existence.

I wanted to love, you above all.
But my love was poisonous, and it would do more harm than good.
So I broke your heart, and let you go.

Looking at you now, five years later, I regret letting you go and not telling you ‘I Love You.’

But at the same time, I knew I made the right decision to let you go.

You’ve grown to become such an amazing person.
You’ve become someone I cannot love, because you’re out of my reach now.
Like a phoenix, you’ve emerged from the ashes of our love and now you burn brightly in the sky, soaring high above out of my reach.

I knew you were happy with Siwon, and that was all that mattered.

“Kyuhyun,” you say my name again as you reach for my hands, and I can hear the sorrow and concern in your voice.
I can see the love you had for me, emerge once again in your eyes.

My heart throbs as I meet your burning gaze, I could feel the tears swell in my eyes as my hands tighten around yours, before I finally let go.

“If you need him,” I say softly, turning to meet Siwon’s perplexed gaze. “Don’t ever let go of his hands,”

I could feel you grabbing for me again, trying to stop my words, because you knew the words meant that I was letting you go all over again.

“If you love him,” I continue, pulling my hand out of your begging grasp, my heart shattering into smaller pieces as I hear you plead for me to stop because you didn't want to lose me..... you didn't want me to leave you again.

"if you love him," I repeat to Siwon, “Tell him without holding back.”

A/N²: Hey hey! Hope you guys are enjoying these! I'm trying my hardest to try and update fast. I also wanted to say that I'm VERY sorry to some of subscribers because I actually haven't had time to work on my chaptered fic Tainted because of how little time I have. I only have time to work on these drabbles and one-shots.... I haven't abandoned Tainted, nor is it on Hiatus. The new chapter will just be awhile before it is ready. Sorry!
Please subscribe and leave comments! Comments are very encouraging to me and lets me know of all the KyuSung lovers out there <3