"Should I even ask?", Yoongi tested the waters as Jungkook was moping with grave expression next morning.

"Please don´t", the younger only replied and left.

God, was he feeling down. He would´ve never thought it´d hurt that much. The knowledge that for Tae, their last night didn´t exist. So practically, it was nothing. Like nothing ever happened. And to add to his misery Jungkook was craving those plush lips more than ever.

How am I going to survive this sweet torture?

He paced up and down in his room but the only thing occupying his mind was Tae. Tae and his soft lips, Tae and his inviting mouth, Tae and his moist cavern, Tae, Tae, Tae.

It went on like that for two hours. Jungkook simply couldn´t bear not kissing his beloved Tae. Wait, simply? Not simply at all! The whole damn situation was anything but simple. And for once, Jungkook admitted to himself he needed help. So he called his doctor-or-whatever-he-was Seokjin. 

At least that was the plan. But on the other end nobody picked up for a while. And then...

"Hello? Who is there, am I finally talking with somebody from the right department?"

Jungkook tripped over his own foot at that voice. "Uhm, no... seems the system doesn´t work again."

"Oh, come-on, again?", Tae - because there wwas no doubt it was Tae - groaned. "This on-hold thing here is so strange, I swear... wait, you said 'again'. Did that happen to you before too? Oh wait, no, give me a sec! That voice sounds familiar. Did we both talk with each other on hold last time?"

"...Yes..." Jungkook was still shocked by the turn of events.

"Whoa! I have no clue how this works but this is amazing! So mister I-don´t-want-to-say-my-name, how are you doing? Wow, really, how are the odds we are getting connected again of all people? And, did you get your appointment? Ugh, as we are talking about appointments... maybe I should ge a massage, my hurts like hell! Ah, nevermind that. What are you doing right now?"

"Tae... I am sorry."

...

"Wait what"

Jungkook gulped.

"How did you just call me"

The younger didn´t answer.

"Are you... JUNGKOOK?!?! WHAT THE ING HELL?!?!"

Jungkook rubbed his face with the free hand, his other hand trembling while holding the phone. What was he doing? This was the most stupid thing he could possibly do now. Was he dumb or something? But Tae had sounded as distressed as he felt himself and he didn´t want the brunet to feel uneasy. So he opened his mouth and began anew.

"Tae, I´m sorry I lied to you. I really am. And I know it´s nothing to forgive but I hope one day you won´t hate me for lying anymore."

The following silence was worse than Jungkook´s concern  borderline panic for Tae´s well-being yesterday. But he waited. Waited for an answer to come, for the brunet reaching a conclusion. He could almost hear the other thinking hard through the phone. Eventually, the brunet got to a point.

"So you are a Blessed? You were lying about you being an Average like me? Is that what you want to tell me?" Tae´s voice was steady, calm. It frightened Jungkook more than it would have if the brunet would´ve shouted at him. The singer gave him that icey vibe again. Jungkook shivered.

"I´m sorry, hyung, I´m so sorry."

Tae hung up.

"So I take it you ed up" Yoongi declared as Jungkook stormed out of his room, the elder not even looking up from his beloved sniper rifle. He wasn´t done polishing it so why bother lifting his head? 

"Of course I ed up, what else do you expect from me", the younger snapped with so much venom Yoongi´s hand halted in its movement - trailing the word 'Jenny', the weapon´s name engraved on its black barrel - and stilling in more than one way. Because nobody talked to him like that.

"I always ruin EVERYTHING if it´s related to Tae", Jungkook shouted with hands thrown up and the name leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. "I´m not good with feelings! Feelings are the most stupid sh*t, they turn you into a vulnerable, wobbly, defenseless mess and turn your life upside-down. They lull you into dropping your guards and then kick you straight into the innermost circle of hell."

His gaze was burning with fury by now. "I have been there already, in hell. After what happened with my parents. And now I am standing at the treshold again and it´s YOUR NG FAULT!"

Yoongi´s eyes were as cold as arctic ice as he met the younger´s stare, not yielding. His answer was a quiet, low vicious snarl.

"You don´t get to talk to me in that way, brat."

But the raven-head only laughed bitter.

"Oh, is that so?" he challenged. "We both know it´s true though. If you hadn´t assigned me to that photography workshop - and I know it was your idea, your doing and not Hoseok-hyungs - then we wouldn´t have gotten close and things wouldn´t have happened. I would be still sane!"

"What part of being a cold-hearted killer, a monster is the equation of being sane in your twisted mind, huh? I just wanted you to act like the human you are again. Because shutting out your emotions isn´t a solution."

Jungkook scoffed. "As if you are one to talk, hyung. Always so distant, always so cold and bored of everything. You are a hypocrite for forcing feelings back to me but being a dead block of ice yourself."

His second´s voice was still calm but if Jungkook would´ve bothered looking he would have seen how the elder had stiffened and realized he´d crossed a border. "Don´t make this about me if the whole thing is about you."

"Right, it is not about you. You could never understand anyway. Know how it feels to have a Blessing, to be cursed since day one. You have no idea how it is to be on the verge of insanity and death on a daily basis, to feel that thing eating you alive whenever you forget to pay attention. To make useless attempts of controlling a power that cannot be controlled, doesn´t want to be caged by a mere human."

He flung a hand out. "You have no idea, none whatsoever."

"Don´t go and assume I wouldn´t know how hard it is to deal with a Blessing", the smaller man whispered. "You know nothing, nothing about the me before we met. Did it never occur to you my story could be quite similar to yours in certain aspects?"

"But no matter what happened to you it still is not the same! You can only guess a fraction of what happens to me, you´ll never know. And it´s all your fault anyway, the whole ing mess is YOUR fault, NOT MINE!"

Yoongi subtly shifted so he was now holding the rifle in his hands. Aimed at Jungkook´s chest. Not even bothering to look through the scope as they were only inches apart from each other.

"I suggest you get out right now and stop insulting the depth of my love to the ones I lost and not come back soon. And you better sort out whatever 'mess' you made regarding that Tae because no matter what you tell me it´s your fault and your´s alone, nobody else´s. Now shut the up and leave or I´ll practice with my baby on you right now."

Jungkook gave him the middle finger before he went off to his room. Not long after he was heard in the whole house, angrily singing Linkin Park songs or more like, screaming them.

Soon enough, Jungkook slipped out of his room, head hanging low as he entered the living room where his second was still - or again? - cleaning his Jenny.

"I am so so sorry, hyung", he whispered, tears already welling in his eyes. "I said horrible unforgivable things to you and was incredibly rude, I don´t even know where to start apologizing... I am sorry" He choked on the last part, his scratching throat and cloistered up nose making it difficult to speak.

Yoongi looked outright baffled. Shocked even. "I uh, okay but... Jungkook, are you crying?!"

"And what if I am" the younger sobbed. "I´ve been so nasty to you, you don´t deserve it, I beg you pardon, please forgive meee~"

The elder awkwardly looked around the room in dire need of help or advice because he wasn´t trained on taking care of crying little Jungkooks. "Okay, uhm... do you want me to lay my arms... around... you... or something...?"

"Yes, please hug me, I´m so sorry~"

If this was not the definition of awkward and uncomfortable then Yoongi didn´t know what else was.

As Jungkook seemed to calm down after minutes of him stiffly patting the younger´s back he dared to ask if Jungkook had an idea what to do about Taehyung. Which was a mistake he realized as Jungkook started wailing for real now. His body was shaking with sobs and snod running out of his nose as he cried his eyes out against Yoongi´s shirt. 

"H-he hates me~"

Yoongi picked up the awkward back-patting again and tried very hard not to be disgusted by all the foreign body fluids all over him. "Why do you think that?"

"Bwecause--" Jungkook loosened a shuddering breath, "he found out I´m cursed. And lied to him from the very beginning." The words were shaky and muffled but his second got the gist.

"That´s uhm... unfortunate but doesn´t mean he hates you per se."

"Yes it does!" Jungkook was close to shredding his hyung´s shirt as he clenched down on it with all force. "I know he hates me! Who wouldn´t? He detests me and never ever wants to see me again, Tae hates me for sure..."

Yoongi sighed. This would be a long night. He zoomed out on what the younger babbled until...

"...I don´t want to live anymore if Tae doesn´t like me. There is no sense in life without him~"

"Now you are being overdramatic", his second huffed, more than slightly annoyed.

Jungkook pulled away, his eyes dangerously narrowing. "So what if I am?" His voice was suddenly very sharp. "I thought I´m supposed to have feelings, hyung?"

"That´s not what I---"

But Jungkook had already gotten up, straightened and glared at his hyung. "Oh, I get it! I´m only allowed to have pleasing feelings and not the ones bothering you, right?"

"I never even---"

"Well, suit yourself and go on babying your gun as I am leaving now. Have a nice life."

And with that Jungkook was gone again, leaving a very very confused Yoongi behind.

"...What the hell?!?"

As Yoongi deemed his Jenny in good shape (for the time being) he made for a midnight snack. In the kitchen he found Jungkook sitting on the island counter and blankly staring at a frying pan.

"Hyung..."

The swag-haired hummed.

"Who decided the meaning of words and why is the moon not red instead?" Jungkook sounded like a robot.

With furrowed brows and highly confused anew, Yoongi decided to leave him alone.

Jungkook didn´t acknowledge his second´s presence until the gaming controller was snatched out of his hands.

"Hyung, what the ?!"

"You can´t just sit here and play overwatch or whatever all day, stupid! You have work to do", Yoongi scolded him for it was past five am already.

"There is no such thing and it´s not overwatch, give it back!" Jungkook tried to fetch the controller but surprisingly failed as his second all of a sudden was extremely agile. See what determination can do to a person.

Yoongi just gave him the look, judging hard. "Really now? Did you honestly forget your friends and the threats at hand? Or your big love? Get your lazy a** moving already."

"...Buy me coffee and vanilla ice cream then", Jungkook huffed with crossed arms.

"Promise me to get active if I do?"

He only waved his hand lazily. "Yes yes, I promise, whatever. Now get me ice cream, I want ice cream!"

Jungkook was so lucky to have a caring hyung like him, Yoongi thought.

"Ewww, why are you comming with ice cream at me, it´s not even warm outside." Jungkook scrunched his nose in distaste. "And even worse coffee flavor? Hyung, are you dumb? You know I hate coffee! It´s so bitter and... eugh!"

Yoongi was slowly getting really annoyed. "But you told me yourself to get coffee ice cream for you", he countered with strained voice.

"And why would I do such a thing? It tastes horrible. Now give me the vanilla one, it´ll have to do for now." And that being said Jungkook snatched the whole jumbo box out of his second´s grip and ran away.

Slowly, Yoongi looked down at his empty hand, then at the other holding said coffee flavoured ice cream. 

"Next time that brat makes me get him something  I´ll let him sign a ing contract", he mumbled as he put the box in the freezer.

"What exactly is wrong with you?" Yoongi demanded to know as he sat on a bench in some park, warily watching his dongsaeng. Why was he outside in the first place? It was sunny and nice weather and people were walking around, it was daytime, it was early and it was ing outside! How did he end up here? He wanted to go back right now.

But Jungkook didn´t hear his question.

"Whoa, did you just see that butterfly right now? It´s so yellow!" He leaped up and began chasing the poor creature, giggling like a five-year old.

Next thing Jungkook settled for rolling across the freshly trimmed grass in every direction. People stopped and pointed at him, some laughing and others scowling. It didn´t take long until some actual kids joined Jungkook and they were rolling across the grass together, rolling over each other and playing some weird sort of tag. Then Jungkook spotted a squirrel and shot to the tree, climbing after the little animal.

As one of the branches broke and Jungkook fell down he just remained on the spot and out of the blue started singing. Immediately wind was coming off him, playing with his pitch black hair and making the leaves above his head rustle.

Yoongi decided it was more than time to go back. He dragged a loudly whining and protesting brat with him, coaxing him with the empty promise of a lot of butterflies infront of the head quarter. And tried to figure out what was going on.

Yoongi was awakened by the sound of voices. No, one voice he realized after a few seconds. Groaning, he got up and dragged himself to the small dining room where the voice was coming from. And there he sat, Jeon Jungkook, talking to an empty chair. Yoongi was rooted to his spot, watching Jungkook talk, pause as if listening to somebody else, laugh all of a sudden and reply with sparkle in his eyes. Then the younger got up and left. Yoongi thought that´s it but soon the younger returned with two plates of warmed-up food in his hands.

"Here you go, Tae. Dig in", he chirped and placed the second plate infront of the empty chair. Then he started eating himself but always looked to that unoccupied spot. At some point he blushed madly and choked on his food. 

"You---you didn´t have to phrase it that way" he mumbled after he´d recovered.

And Yoongi was weirded out by all means. But what really gave him the chills was as Jungkook scooped up some meat on his fork and stretched out his arm - as if feeding somebody. With a big smile on his face he stretched wider and wider. Until the piled up food fell on the empty chair with a squelching sound. Jungkook didn´t seem to realize it at all.  Still smiling he tilted his head.

"It´s good, isn´t it?"

He refilled his fork and the whole thing repeated. Piece after piece of meat landing on the chair, one sliding down and hitting the floor. Soon, the whole content of Jungkook´s plate was forming a pile on the unoccupied seat.

Back to his respective bed, Yoongi was not able to find sleep again. And it took a long while for his goosebumps to fade.

The next day Jungkook was, Yoongi couldn´t describe it differently, floating. His feet were barely touching the floor, clothes and hair constantly swaying ever so slightly in his breeze as he kept singing some children songs. A small smile tugging his lips upward and staying. Yes, he was floating. A god-damned white sheep cloud. Yoongi tiredly rubbed hi face. He didn´t fancy to smash the younger´s bubble of happiness but he would.

"Good morning, hyung", the young Blessed sang in a light melody. "How unusual to be up already~ morning hours are golden though. As golden as Tae´s skin~"

"Yeah, about that---"

But Jungkook had already sauntered off to the kitchen to fetch a second bowl of cereals. "Here you go, enjoy your meal, tell me how you feel, flowers need water to bloom and I want to be Tae´s groom... Eat up as long as it´s crispy, my days are no longer dark and misty~"

Yoongi snatched the bowl from his hand. "I´m allergic to any kind of sunshine" he snarled with no bite. "And your personality right now is not an excepiton."

Jungkook - that little sh*t - giggled as he finally stopped singing. "But Hoseok-hyung is one?"

"I don´t know what you mean."

Jungkook quirked an eyebrow.

"Sure. But leaving that aside, do you know what happened just last night? You won´t believe it but Tae was here, visiting me" the younger all but squealed. "I explained him and apologized and he really forgave me. Then I made some food for us and we even did this sappy couple thing, feeding each other. It was great! And if I´m not mistaken I think we are together now..." 

Yoongi gagged at the hearts shooting out of the delirious doe eyes. Then he collected himself to drop the bomb in a hopefully bearable way. "Jungkook-ah, I hate breaking it to you but he was not here yesterday. It was just the two of us."

And as if a switch was turned Jungkook slumped in his chair, the smile wiped from his face and his feet harshly hitting the floor of reality. Or so Yoongi thought.

"Yes, it´s quite unbelievable, right? To be honest I am wondering if Tae is playing games with me. Feigning to forgive me, to be cool with it and to actually like me. Maybe this is his revenge. For my betrayal. He´d lull me in, making me believe everything´s fine and dandy only to leave me and rip my heart apart like I did to him. Maybe this is the price I have to pay for being a monster."

His just before sparking eyes were dull as Jungkook stared into distance. He looked almost ashen. And Yoongi was wondering a great deal how one could turn from the personification of sunshine to a ghost into mere seconds.

"But I truly deserve it, do I not? And it´s still better than nothing. So please let me dream hyung, let me take whatever he offers me before he kills me. I owe him. I´ll play along, play house for however long he wants me to."

Jungkook looked way more tired and old, dry from life than he should at his young age. And Yoongi could clearly feel him slipping away from reality, from the world. He wouldn´t loose anybody else. Enough is enough. So he got up, crossed the table and gripped the younger´s face, forcing him to look at him. 

"Listen", he seethed. "I need you to listen to me and believe me now. Whatever you saw yesterday was not real! I saw you talking to and feeding an empty chair. I swear to my life Tae was never here. Your mind was tricking you. He. Was. Not. Here. Do you get that?"

He did not. For Jungkook was now giving his hyung a tender and compassionate yet sad look. "You wouldn´t get it, hyung." 

With the empty cereal bowl he went to the kitchen and never returned to the dining room. Yoongi was at a loss. First these difficult-to-handle mood swings and now it seemed Jungkook was hallucinating. Was he going insane or what was all that about? 

Yoongi gained back control over his limbs and went to search for the younger. He in fact had no idea what to do but there was no way he would let it go and do nothing to help his friend. He found Jungkook slumped against the bathroom wall, singing.

Something was terribly off. Because the way air was radiating from him - it was not normal. It couldn´t be considerated 'radiating' either. No, the air whooshed out in puffs in different directions. Sometimes weak, then again stronger. Like hiccup. No, more like a stuttering motor. A broken machine. Jungkook didn´t seem to be aware he appeared like a clockwork falling apart as he just sat there and sang. 

Until he wasn´t anymore. From one moment to the next his body went limb, eyes falling shut and thudded down at cold tiles.

"Sh*t! Okay, that´s it", Yoongi declared as he rushed to fetch water first, then some paper from his office and candy. He sat down and took Jungkook´s legs in his hands, lifting them up to make the blood flow back to his head. Even though he wasn´t sure this action was useful at all as the whole misery, the mood swings, hallucination and fainting seemed to be caused by that damn Blessing. But what else could he do?

To his utter relief Jungkook did squirm and regain consiousness after a moment.

"Hyung, what... what happened?" he croaked.

"Better question: when was the last time you used, really used your Blessing?"

Thinking visibly was an effort. But eventually, Jungkook answered. "The day I got Jimin-hyung the Taeyang tape", he admitted.

And Yoongi cursed for a minute straight. 

", really? This was weeks... maybe months ago!"

Jungkook looked anywhere but to his second.

"Okay, are yo sane right now?"

"What?! Uh, I think?"

So Yoongi told him. Made him realize his odd behaviour. And after some pressing got confirmation from Jungkook it was indeed caused by too much built up pressure of his Blessing. Because for all the singing he did it was not the same. No matter the ammount, the Relief thing could never replace a proper use of his Blessing. It seemed there was only so much time he could go with the placebo strategy he had chosen.

As they were done talking it out Yoongi shoved the paper in Jungkook´s face. 

"I don´t care if you want to or not, you are taking this job as a side task. It´s an easy one. Use your Blessing all you want, take off some steam. And next time you tell me so we can do this sooner. I don´t want you to go mad on me."

"But---"

"No buts. You´ll do the task. Tomorrow. End of story."

What do you think about the chapter? My notes just said "despite singing JK almost goes insane". I have no idea how going insane works but that´s what I figured... the mood swings and hallucination and stuff. What are your opinions and thoughts, please share it with me, I´m always glad to read your comments ^^ Spam me with comments!

Also, to clarify things, Tae never realized he had talked to Kookie on-hold because he sounds different through the phone. And they never called each other while planning "project jikook" or whatever. The only time Tae called he interrupted Kookie during sabotage so he had to whisper, making his voice sound different again. Just so you know. It´s not because Tae is dense. Technology is to blame here, okay? ^^

Oh, and for those who are worried here is a friendly reminder: I prefer happy endings.