Why?

Kyungsoo's head spun with the word as he looked at Sehun, looked at the man he was supposed to hate and kill. No, 'man' wasn't a good word for him. He was a only a boy; a boy that liked bubble tea and fashion and tried to look dark and cool but failed. Sehun definitely wasn't the growling, blond-haired man that Kai had shown him. Hell, even his hair color was different; he'd apparently dyed it brown again and that only furthered his boyish image.

He couldn't kill Sehun. He knew that the moment he'd heard the boy call out "Lu!" He could understand why Kai had loved him, why Luhan loved him now. He couldn't kill Sehun, he couldn't kill him, no matter what Kai asked - but he knew that he would.

And he had only three months!

Please, Kai, Kyungsoo pleaded inwardly. Please, please, don't. I don't know who and killed you, but it wasn't Sehun. He's innocent, he's innocent, Kai, please. I'll appeal to Jongin, please, please, don't you have some mercy-

Kai hissed loudly in his ear. Don't call me Jongin. It's the name that Sehun whispered a million times as he ed and killed me and I can't stand the sound of it. I'll hurt you if you ever call me that again, I swear on it. Kyungsoo shivered, more at the fact that Kai was objecting to his name so strongly rather than the fact that he'd threatened to hurt him.

"And who's this?" asked Sehun shyly, and Luhan punched him on the arm playfully.

"Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo, can you hear us? He spaces out so much, he's not ignoring you, Sehunnie, I promise," giggled Luhan. "Oh, and did I forget to mention that his name is Kyungsoo? I met him today when he was looking for directions at your house, and now he's stuck with me."

Kyungsoo remained silent, letting Luhan do all the talking. He didn't want anything to do with Sehun; didn't want to talk to him, listen to him talk, like him. But he'd already failed, for he impossibly found himself beginning to make a nest for the smaller boy in his heart, and he hated it. It wouldn't stop him from trying, though.

"I know this was kinda unexpected, bursting on you today with a stranger under my wing, but I was really dying of boredom and Kyungsoo provided a welcome distraction. He somehow got stranded in our little village while looking for Seoul and I just had to help him, Sehunnie. He's looking for a job around here, aren't you, Soo?"

"I-I guess," stammered Kyungsoo.

"See? He's as shy as you are, Sehunnie! But don't worry, once you open him up he's actually interesting. He's literally death but cuter. He doesn't really have a plan, coming to Seoul, so I was just thinking that maybe we could help him out a little - after all, we need someone to replace Jongin."

Sehun winced visibly at the name but didn't elaborate, which intrigued Kyungsoo. He couldn't tell if the wince was of guilt or of a painful memory that he didn't remember himself having a part of. Luhan seemed completely oblivious of Sehun's pained expression, grabbing Kyungsoo's hand again and pulling him into Sehun's apartment, leaving him with no time to think.

It was certainly a nice apartment, decorated in a style very different from the one of the Oh estate. While that house had been classy, the apartment looked very much like something owned by a twenty-three year old boy without a housewife - messy and colorful. A half-finished bubble tea sat on the kitchen counter and a classy jacket was slung haphazardly over a chair. Everything about it screamed boyishness, and Kyungsoo was having trouble wrapping everything around his mind.

"Yah, Sehunnie!" Luhan was prancing around, completely unaware of the awkwardness. "You need someone to clean up this mess. I leave you alone for three weeks and you give me this? How are we supposed entertain a guest?"

Sehun smiled but said nothing, letting Luhan whirl up to him and tousle his hair. "Sehunnie, you mute? Oh god, I just realized I'm stuck between two extremely shy people. What am I supposed to do?"

Kyungsoo rubbed the back of his neck, still unsure of what to say. Kai's murderer was right in front of him and he was just another shy kid with fluffy hair. How would he talk to this apparently very innocent boy when he knew so well what he had done?

"I'mma drink all your bubble tea if you don't say something soon, Sehun-ah," threatened Luhan, laughing. "I'll-"

"Fine!" cried Sehun, playfully exasperated. "Leave bubble tea out of this, if you please. Hi, Kyungthoo. Oh god, I'm lithping again. I only get it when I'm nervouth. Th-sorry."

"I-it's okay," Kyungsoo stammered. Sehun had a lisp? How could it be possible for him to be so cute when he was so dangerous? Kyungsoo tried to push the thought away with a shaky laugh. "I stutter and you lisp. What else is new?"

"Finally!" said Luhan happily. "I knew you guys would like each other if you only got over being so shy. I suppose none of you can help it; but it always means so much work for me. Not that I mind, of course, Sehunnie-ah," he yelped as Sehun hit his shoulder.

"I thought you were the kindest of all of us, Lu-ge," complained Sehun, jutting out his lower lip. "Maybe I've been fooled. Junmyeon-hyung is better now."

"I'll overtake him," vowed Luhan. "I'll buy you so much bubble tea you'll just have to love me the best."

Kyungsoo watch the two of them go back and forth with their teasing, still in a daze. He was dreaming. He must be dreaming. Why was he here, if apparently Sehun had always loved Luhan and they were so happy together and Jongin was but a sad memory? The relationship in front of him was so real, so genuine, it was impossible to imagine Sehun in love with anyone else. Sure, perhaps Jongin was but a good friend, but the way Sehun said Lu-ge... it made the whole vision Kai had shown him seem like a bad dream.

But the moment the thought flitted across his brain, he felt Kai's cold fingers on his shoulder.

None of that, whispered the ghost darkly. I assure you that this Sehunnie-ah is the same Oh Sehun who killed me, Kyungsoo. And don't be fooled by Luhan. Sehun loved me first and it should be me who he loves now, despite how kind Luhan is. Open your eyes, Kyungsoo.

The chill shocked Kyungsoo awake and he rubbed his arms, still feeling Kai's presence even though it was gone. Luhan noticed before he could hide anything.

"Soo? Are you okay there? You look cold," he asked, concerned.

Sehun snorted. "It's the middle of June, Lu. How on earth could anyone be cold right now?"

"That's rude, Sehunnie," frowned Luhan, shaking his head. "I thought you had more manners. Don't take him seriously, Kyungsoo. He's a little tick like that to all of us. Yifan is always asking me how I put up with him."

"Hey, it's not my fault hith boyfriend is perfect." Sehun pouted again, which really did make him look too cute. Kyungsoo couldn't stand it. He needed to get Kai out of his brain and fast, before his whole life got warped.

Luhan ignored him, turning back to Kyungsoo. "I'm so sorry, Soo. We're being too rude. It's just that... you know the feeling when you haven't talked to good glory about inside jokes with a best friend in forever, right? I suppose three weeks isn't forever, but still..."

No, Kyungsoo didn't know. He didn't have any friends close enough for him to form inside jokes with. Of course he had friends like any normal person, but they were mostly acquaintances that from school that he'd run across a lot. But he suppressed the sudden feeling of jealousy rising in his throat with a smile. "Boyfriend, you mean."

"You told him?" Sehun yelped. "I thought we agreed to keep it a thecr-secret, Lu!"

Luhan only shrugged. "Kyungsoo's fine with it, I think. I mean, all of our friends know and he's just a new one. If he was homophobic I'd have pushed him out of the car and onto the road on our way here."

Sehun relaxed. "That'th a relief. Sorry about theeming-seeming rude, Kyungsoo. I'm The-Sehun, in case you haven't noticed. Dammit, why do I still have a lithp. It'th ing annoying."

Kyungsoo laughed inwardly, but then immediately felt guilty. The cute boy in front of him, lisping and swearing in the same sentence - it was too precious. He was liking both Sehun and Luhan - how could he help it? If only he'd been born thirty years earlier so that he could truly be friends with them; if only Kai didn't have to ruin it all with his revenge plan.

He looked at both of them, so happy, so oblivious. He couldn't spoil that perfect happiness, no matter what Kai asked of him. His humanity prevented him from doing that. Even though he had never experienced love himself, he could recognize it when he saw it.

Sehun and Luhan deserved their love, deserved their joy, and he wanted to see them that way. His parents hadn't laughed and joked together like this; and eventually they'd split - how could he even imagine Sehun and Luhan pain? It would kill him to kill them, he knew. He hated Kai now, hated him for his cold, single-minded ways. He couldn't pity him anymore.

But you don't have a choice...

The fact that he didn't have a choice made Kyungsoo hate Kai even more.

"Kyungsoo-ssi," called Luhan. "Kyungsoo-ssi, come back to earth. I sometimes think you're from another planet, the way you stare into space like that. Like you're listening to the extra-terrestrial voices of your little friends."

"Yeah, it's creepy," Sehun piped up, taking a sip from his bubble tea.

"Stop being such a ," Luhan slapped him.

"Admit you love it, Marilyn Monroe."

"And stop calling me that!"

Kyungsoo cleared his throat. "Are all your friends annoying as you guys are?"

He surprised himself. He had never thought that he would find his voice, and that he would say such a thing if he did. It was not the sort of question he would ask even in the most normal situation; and the fact that he was asking it in this bizarre world to a murderer and his boyfriend made the whole thing even crazier. Yet somehow, it seemed perfectly natural at the same time.

Luhan looked surprise as well, though he quickly banished the open mouth off his face. "Nah. Well, actually, yeah. Jongdae is a ing big prankster, no joke; and Minseok is his accomplice. They're both a little crazy. But Jongdae's quieter now; he still pulls pranks but not as much as he did before Jongin's death. They were best friends, you know."

Jongin again; and again Sehun's little wince. It didn't escape Kyungsoo's eye and again he felt a surge of curiosity. Does Sehun even know what he's done? 

It vanished even quicker then it did last time, and Sehun was back in his normal pose, trying to up the tapioca pearls left after the finished milk tea. "Don't worry, Kyungsoo. If Luhan's annoying you just call me and I'll act cute for him. That usually calms him down, I promith. He's just a little girl."

"I'm not a girl!" Luhan whined. "I just like cute stuff. Is that bad?"

"He's always trying to make us believe he's a manly man," Sehun grinned. "Don't believe him. Like, does he even look like a manly man? Such a flower boy, please."

Luhan punched him, and Sehun made an exaggerated wince, laughing. "He even punches like a girl."

Kyungsoo could stop himself from laughing out loud this time, even though his mind was screaming wrong, wrong, wrong. It was a quiet laugh, little more than a smile, but Luhan looked as though he was drinking it up. "Ah, Kyungsoo, opening up are you? Isn't he cute when he laughs, Sehunnie-ah?"

Sehun nodded. "Are you staying here, hyung? You're my hyung, right?"

Suddenly Kyungsoo panicked, as though Sehun had pressed a trigger in his brain; and he found himself unable to answer either of Sehun's questions. Was he staying here? Was he? Could he stay here and kill the boy in front of him? He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't... he had to go home... Kai was asking too much asking too much asking too much and he couldn't...

"Kyungsoo-ssi?" asked Luhan, and Kyungsoo suddenly noticed how his knees were shaking and he had unknowingly stumbled back a few steps. "Kyungsoo-ssi, are you okay? Have we scared you or anything? I'm sorry, we don't mean any harm, was Sehun rude again?"

Even Sehun looked concerned, unlike the first time when he had laughed at Kyungsoo for being cold. He hovered behind Luhan anxiously, offering to get a glass of water. Kyungsoo tried hard to pull himself together for their sakes, to not ruin the brightness of the moment. But what does it matter, when you're going to end up killing one of them in three months anyways? Stupid stupid stupid, just stay away...

"Sit down," said Luhan kindly, leading Kyungsoo to the couch. "I'm really sorry, Kyungsoo. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Are you really okay? Do you need any help? Go get water, Sehun, hurry!"

I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay...  but it's you guys that need help, I want to give you so much help but I can't...

Sehun was back with the water and Kyungsoo tried to drink, sloshing the liquid over the side of the cup when his hands shook; but after a gulp his heart slowed and he breathed deeply as the momentary panic left him. Kai had not come to visit him, for which he was grateful, and Luhan rubbed his back comfortingly while murmuring words of comfort.

Gradually he stopped shaking and stood up, trying for a smile. "I'm fine now, thanks."

Sehun frowned. "Really? That doesn't look like fine to me. Are you okay, Kyungsoo? Is anything wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Sehun, I promise," lied Kyungsoo easily. "Sorry for making you worried; I just get panic attacks sometimes. And, to answer your second question, I am your hyung. To answer your first... well, I don't really know yet. I'm kind of broke and I have no cash right now, so maybe I'll just end up living on the streets." This time he attempted an easy laugh, but failed miserably.

Sehun's look of concern and suspicion had not left his face, but he didn't press the matter; instead, he tackled Kyungsoo's worries about housing. "That's not a problem, hyung," he said, shrugging. "I'll lend you money, and I'm sure you'll find a job soon. And if my parents, them, don't allow me to give you anything, then I'm sure Junmyeon-hyung will help. He's too generous, really, and his parents don't care what he does with his dollars."

"There's a coffee shop just down the street that's looking for a new hire," added Luhan. "I'm sure they'd take you. Minseok works there and maybe we'll slip a few words in through him, who knows." He winked playfully at this, lightening the mood.

"I-I'm sure I'll like that," sighed Kyungsoo.

"If we're messing up your plans-" began Sehun, but Kyungsoo stopped him.

"I have no plans at all," he confessed, saying the truth for once. "I'm serious."

Luhan smiled. "Then I guess we're settled, somewhat. Is this a bit rushed, Kyungsoo? I get it if you're overwhelmed. Just a small-town guy looking for work in a big city, eh?"

Kyungsoo nodded, relieved that Luhan had found a satisfactory answer to his own question and he didn't have to say anything. He couldn't find any energy inside to fight Luhan and Sehun's hospitality, to push them away. He knew that he should, to lessen the pain, and yet he couldn't. "I'm not pushing it, right?" he asked nervously. "I'd really hate it if-"

"No, I'm serious," said Sehun. "I'll just rent you an apartment for now and- really, Kyungsoo, it's not charity if that's what you're worried about. It's just helping out a friend. Let me call Junmyeon over and we'll coordinate."

Kyungsoo sighed, sitting back down next to Luhan and finishing the water that Sehun had given him. He watched as Sehun made his way over to an old-fashioned cord phone, feeling a sense of dizziness sweep over him. He really was back in time. it was crazy to imagine that Sehun and Luhan had never seen cell phones before, to watch Sehun pressing the buttons casually and picking up the clunky device. Again, the relentlessness of the whole situation came crashing upon him. Reality was a .

Junmyeon wasn't long in picking up. Kyungsoo and Luhan were quiet as they watched Sehun talk. "Myeon-hyung?... Yeah, it's Sehunnie again... I have a favor to ask of you... Lu-ge brought this weird friend of his to Seoul with him and he's broke and practically homeless... it's odd, I know, but just humor me... yeah, you'll come meet him? You'll like him, I promise... love you too, Myeon-hyung."

Sehun put down the phone with a satisfied smile. "He's coming. I think he's excited about having a new kid to mother and waste money on. As if seven wasn't already enough already."

"Don't lie, he spends more of that money on you, Sehunnie, than everyone else," scoffed Luhan. "Which is ironic, as you're the last person that needs extra money. Yixing is complaining that he's treating you better than him, his actual boyfriend."

"He's just my best friend, Lu."

Kyungsoo decided to interrupt them here. "So this guy... er... Junmyeon, I guess... how is he supposed to lend me money? How should I pay it back to him? I'm not staying long, you know... just here to get a feel of things..."

"Of course," said Luhan warmly. "At any rate, I doubt Junmyeon would even notice it if you never returned his money to him. He's like that. Our personal credit card. We don't call him Junmoney for nothing. Sehun, now, is too mean for all that-"

"Hey, it's not my fault!"

"Of course it isn't, Sehunnie."

Kyungsoo sighed morosely, watching the pair go back and forth again. He couldn't imagine something realer than this. He couldn't imagine Sehun ever being with another man. He couldn't watch - and yet he had to. Mixed feelings swirled in his stomach - happiness for the couple, fear for himself, dread at what he had to do, jealousy-

Jealousy?

Yes. He was jealous of Sehun and Luhan, of the perfect relationship they had despite the murder. He vaguely wondered if Kai felt jealousy as well, jealous towards Luhan for having Sehun after he'd died. It couldn't be - after all, Kai had definitively pronounced that he hated Sehun. All the same...

Again, the cold wind that made him shiver instinctively. Jealousy... how cute. You're not jealous of either of them, just of their relationship, yes, Kyungsoo? That's the best kind of jealousy, because you know that you still have a chance of getting that relationship yourself. Now, jealousy of a person... that's a completely different story...