He is handsome.

Chaeyoung had certainly been right on that point. Kyungsoo hadn't thought that this would be the first words that ran through his mind when he saw Jongin's ghost. But the moment he'd laid eyes on him, he'd been too awed to even be afraid. Of course, death had paled him, given him the 'ghostliness' that was customary of movies - but no movie ghost could ever compare.

Jongin - no, Kai - was tall and tanned, with dark eyes and dark hair and a certain glow that shone behind him, giving him an excited air, a buzz of energy that aroused people. He was muscled but also graceful, with the figure of a dancer; and, though he was decently clothed (thank goodness; Kyungsoo had been afraid that he'd see him the way he died, with blood on his thighs) Kyungsoo could tell that the word girls would use for him would be 'y'.

He had a moment to register all that before the panic set in.

"K-Kai then? Why are y-you here? W-what do you want from m-me?"

Kai smiled; a slow, horrible smile that somehow still didn't take away from his handsomeness. "I've been waiting a long time, Kyungsoo."

"W-waiting for wh-wh-"

"You. I thought that was quite simple." Kai's drawl was a mix between a heavenly voice and a horrible tone. Kyungsoo sat up abruptly, backing up, trying to get away from this white wraith, this shadowed soul. It didn't matter how handsome Kai was; he was dead. Dead!

Just as Kyungsoo's head hit the top of the headboard with a crack of splitting pain, Kai reached out and grabbed his arm, holding it with an iron grip. The hand was solid, but so, so cold; colder than winter. It made Kyungsoo's whole body feel cold.

"Ow- aah!" Kyungsoo yelped. Immediately he grabbed at Kai's hand, trying to pry the fingers off his arms. "St-stop! Kai! Please, please let me go!"

But the fingers wouldn't budge, cold and strong as a metal clamp. Kai didn't care. Pleadings mattered nothing to him. After all, he was a ghost, and while perhaps not emotionless, weaker emotions like pity were numbed.

Although Kyungsoo had always been haunted by cold winds and mental demons, this was the first time he'd seen a real ghost, and it terrified him. He could not feel any emotion besides pure fear, fear as he had never felt before. The little chills that he'd gotten from the 'cold winds', the dread of crashing on the ice during the long cold drive, even the terror he'd felt earlier that night when he'd just closed the lights - all that paled before Kai. Cold, pitiless Kai, only a shadow of the once living and joyous Kim Jongin of thirty years ago - it all horrified Kyungsoo.

"Leave me alone! Kai, I beg of you, I'm innocent. I-I can't go with you! Please, please let me go." Kyungsoo was sobbing, not even bothering to wipe his tears, his free hand so busy with trying to wrench Kai's grip off of him.

He wasn't even sure Kai heard him. When he looked back up at the ghost's face, he saw not an inch of change. It was the same dark, handsome face, cold and unwavering. Kai tightened his grip ever so slightly and pulled Kyungsoo towards him.

"You're coming with me," said Kai impassively, staring into Kyungsoo's eyes as if trying to pry him apart. "I need your help."

"S-so many people have slept in this r-room," Kyungsoo pleaded, still trying vainly to pull Kai's fingers off his arm. "W-why me?"

"None of them were right," said Kai. "Blundering idiots. Too old or too young or too stupid - and besides, there's only one you, Kyungsoo, and only Kyungsoo could do the job. I'm not insane, you know. I wouldn't go bother random innocent people just for the fun of it. I don't haunt, Kyungsoo, I do."

"B-but- I'm innocent!" Kyungsoo screamed. "I know you were murdered thirty years ago, Kai, but I swear I had nothing to do with it! I wasn't even born back then-"

"Fool." Kyungsoo felt himself yanked forward until his face was only a foot away from Kai's. If Kai was... normal... he would have been feeling his hot, agitated breath; as it was, he only felt more icy air, chilling him to the bone. "I know your innocence, Do Kyungsoo. That's not the point. The point is that you are going to help me - and only you. And if you don't-"

Kai left the sentence unfinished, watching Kyungsoo cringe and turn away. His fingers were still scrabbling away uselessly at Kai's hand, but it was subdued now; a habit instead of a hope. With a smirk, Kai let go all at once, letting Kyungsoo fall on the floor in surprise.

Kyungsoo lay still, wishing for the night to be over; or, if that was impossible, the least fate could do would be to kill him, so he wouldn't have to see Kai again. But none of that happened. Kai leaned over the bed, smiling down at him, his smooth hair hanging over his face. Kyungsoo's breath hitched in fear; but he also realized yet again how utterly handsome Kai was.

It wasn't fair. Kyungsoo would have liked it more if Kai was a shapeless mass of air than this beautiful man. For every time he looked at Kai, he was reminded of all that could have and should have happened; and it made him even harder to face, knowing that it was all yanked away from him.

Chaeyoung was wrong, too. Kai's handsomeness didn't console him. It was haunting him just as much as the actual ghost.

"Get up, Kyungsoo," said Kai teasingly. "Get up, come with me. I want to take you on an adventure."

"I- please, Kai, no," Kyungsoo murmured; but it was hopeless, and he knew it. He tried to move away on the floor but gave up after just a foot. Kai moved lithely over to his side - he was as graceful as he looked - and hauled Kyungsoo up gently by the shoulders.

Somehow, the softness of his touch frightened Kyungsoo even more than the cold hard grip. It was like snow brushing his shoulders. Goosebumps prickled his arms and tears stung his eyes. Why did I ever come here?

"Do you know what happened to me, Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo nodded - and then shook his head. "Y-you were murdered... but nobody knows how... or by whom..."

Kai sneered with disgust. "I know. He never got caught. He never got punished. He never got what he deserved." The hands tightened again. "I hate him. I've hated him for thirty years. I've thirsted to see him die in the agony he put me through - and he's still a happy duckling!"

Kyungsoo felt himself being flung across the room, hitting the wall hard. The coldness fell off, revealing raw, burning anger. Kyungsoo put his hands up to shield himself from the force of it; but Kai came over again, taking his hands with cold gentleness once more.

"Are you scared, Kyungsoo?" asked Kai, his voice like the snow whirling outside the window. "I'm not sorry. You're only feeling a fraction of what I felt that night of the party. And I think it's time for someone to know the truth."

"Please... I... " But the voice was weak, with no more fight or hope in it. Kyungsoo knew that it was impossible to stop Kai from doing what he wanted. There was no more hope of escape; he could only shut his eyes and pray that it would be quick.

Knowing Kai, it probably wouldn't be.

"I was twenty-two," Kai began slowly. "That's kind of young, isn't it? And I was very active. 'Americanized', they called me. Oh yes, I heard that Chaeyoung woman talking about me to you this evening. I'm always around, no matter what."

"Well, you know that Sehun and I were 'good friends', and, if you have any sense, you've probably figured that we were a little more than that. But here's this-" and Kai leaned forward, his breath cold enough to make frostbite- "we were in love."

Kyungsoo's heart was hammering, and Kai seemed to hear it with pleasure. He gave a short chuckle before sitting down next to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo didn't know if he was shivering from cold or from fear.

"In love. Oh yes, so deeply in love, Kyungsoo. Korea was never liberal, wasn't it? and back then, it was worse than it was now. But Sehunnie and I never gave a damn. We confessed our love to each other when we were nineteen. It was the whole reason we joined the military together; we could not bear to be apart."

"A perfect love story, the kind you saw in movies, just gay." Kai's laugh was bitter and quiet. "Only... it wasn't. You see, Sehunnie and I never did... that. There, I'll say it - we never had . We just weren't ready for it. Then I was found out to be gay, and kicked out of the army. Not that I'd ever liked it. You know about the dancing - and then Sehun came back to me."

"I lived in the little apartment he bought, and he practically lived there as well. He was never big with his parents. We knocked around with our friends for a while, but mostly keeping our relationship a secret, even from them. I'm not saying we didn't make out. We kissed whenever we had a spare moment; and believe me, Kyungsoo, every single one of those kisses were heaven on earth."

Kyungsoo stiffened, wishing that he could go deaf and stop listening, but of course that was impossible.

"Then he invited me to a party..." Kai, unlike a normal person, didn't pause to take a deep breath here. He merely steamrolled on ruthlessly, as if totally unfeeling of pain. "and when I got there, he told me to go up to the attic. He said he wanted to give me a surprise." Kai clenched his teeth before continuing. "I trusted him, even though he looked completely crazy, on more drugs than I'd ever seen him. I should've known better."

"And you came up to this room..." Kyungsoo whispered.

Kai gave a twisted smile. "Yeah. It was kinda dark, though not too much. Perfect settings, I suppose. I slurred for Sehunnie, and then he came up behind me and tackled me onto the bed. It was some ancient wooden relic and uncomfortable as hell, but I don't think he noticed. Sehunnie was totally stoned, and - not himself-"

Kai lay his fingers upon Kyungsoo's hand, and somehow the softneof his touch scared Kyungsoo just as much as the icy grip. He could feel his arm going numb, as though Kai was making some form of frostbite travel through his veins.

"-and he me."

With a gasp, Kyungsoo pulled away, terror wracking his body. His eyes could hardly focus and he shook violently, unable to process what he was hearing. He wanted this story to end, this nightmare to end. It had to be a nightmare, right?

But he wasn't waking up. He pinched his arms until he saw bruises, and he still wasn't waking up.

He flinched when he felt Kai's touch for the third time, and yet this time he couldn't draw away. Kai was pulling him in, capturing him, even without his iron grip. "Listen to me, Kyungsoo. Yes, my dear Sehunnie stripped me and utterly ed me up. Kinda funny, how I was by the very person I'd always intended to have with. But the breaking of my ity didn't happen as I'd intended it to. Sehun rammed into me, harder and faster than anything I'd ever seen on a pron site. You don't watch , do you, Kyungsoo? Too goody for that."

Kai hummed a little, a funny little drone in the air. "I'd never imagined I'd be a bottom. After all, I was older than Sehun, more of the initiative type. But somehow I just ended up on the bed, crying and begging for it to stop with and blood all over me, you know? It hurt, worse than anything I'd ever experienced or anything I will experience. Even the actual death - I don't think it was as bad as- as his fingers in me. And the worst part was that... it was supposed to be beautiful. I'd always imagined the day when we finally grew bold enough to have together... it was supposed to start out gentle, completely natural, us fitting into each other's grooves and ing each other slowly, with the as an anticipated ." Kai laughed loudly, enjoying the look of horror on Kyungsoo's face. "Hell, I'd even imagined about condoms and lube."

"S-stop... I don't want to know..."

With a little shush, Kai put a finger on Kyungsoo's mouth, stopping the words before they could come out. "There. You know about that. Then, when Sehun was done ing me, which took at least two hours, he suddenly went into a rage. I would have called him possessed, but now I know that he was just a demon." Kai's voice suddenly lapsed into cold bitterness once more. Kyungsoo felt bewildered, the way the ghost would suddenly swing from hot passion to icy mercilessness, from harsh roughness to smooth, soft touches. "He yelled loud enough to shake the house if it were not already being shaken by all the ruckus down below. The partying was too loud for anyone to hear us, all the way up here, and anyways I doubt any of those drunks would've cared. I wouldn't have."

"Sehunnie was throwing things, smashing all the old household knick-knacks lying around, punching the walls. For the life of me I couldn't figure out whatever the he was angry about. I don't think he was mad at me, exactly. Maybe just at the world for being a ty place. I was in no condition to move, lying on the bed covered in blood and pain and , so I just watched him. Suddenly, he lunged at me again, and before I knew it I was on the floor and Sehunnie was sitting on top of me with some antique telephone cord in his hands and the he was wrapping it around my neck-"

"STOP IT!"

Kyungsoo plugged his ears with his fingers, unheeding of Kai's touch. If this dream couldn't end, at least he wouldn't hear anything, at least he'd stop Kai from telling his awful story in that horrid voice like he was enjoying Kyungsoo's reactions to the grim truth-

Again he felt Kai's hands on his, and he was getting sick of the coldness that spread through him whenever it happened. But this time, there was something different. 

"Stop! Please!" begged a voice in his head that was definitely Kai's, only filled with fear that sounded even worse than Kyungsoo's. "Aren't you done with me? Haven't you had your way? Please, please, Sehunnie-"

"Shut up," growled a new voice, and Kyungsoo broke out in cold sweat. "You're supposed to be quiet and compliant under me, Nini. You're ruining it all."

"B-but you've already ed me," pleaded the Jongin in his mind. "Why are you doing this if you love me? Don't you love me, Sehunnie? Don't you LOVE ME?"

Kyungsoo winced at what he was hearing and instinctively shut his eyes. Perhaps that was a bad decision, for slowly a blurry picture began to make itself beneath his eyelids. A dark room, shards of glass, drops of blood on the floor, a violent shock of blond hair... and two figures on the floor, one straddling the other and winding the telephone cord around his neck.

"You're so delicious, Nini," moaned the figure with the blond hair. Kyungsoo couldn't make out any other part of him, just his hair and the way it seemed to be an eyesore, overly bright in the dim room. "I would gladly you for the rest of our ing lives, you know? Ahh, that was the best I'd ever had. You're such a , Nini, admit it."

More cord went around the neck... sounds of choked gasps and ragged breaths filled the room, mixed with Sehun's moans... Kyungsoo looked at Jongin's body and realized that he was just as hot as he'd first supposed... why the hell am I thinking about that...

"P-please..." whispered Jongin, in the same hopeless tone that Kyungsoo had used earlier. The similarity of the voices chilled Kyungsoo, but also made his heart ache with a sudden pity for the boy. "Sehunnie... please, please just let me go..."

"No such luck." Sehun let out a harsh laugh, very much in the same manner that Kai had laughed. "I set out to gave you a surprise, Nini... well, don't you like it?"

Jongin didn't answer. He only coughed, then attempted to take another breath; but it came out as a gasp and he flailed wildly as the cord tightened around his neck, as his lungs were cut off from the air. And Sehun laughed, long and loudly, the laugh of a maniac. And yet, Kyungsoo couldn't find it in himself to hate him. He had a feeling that Sehun wasn't usually like this, that this was the work of a possessed being rather than Jongin's lover.

Sehun pulled at the telephone cord, harder and harder, tighter and tighter, and Jongin's breath grew fainter and fainter... and suddenly, with a sharp yank, Jongin's breath hitched and his body twitched, and his breath was gone; and the only sounds Kyungsoo could hear were Sehun's harsh, heavy breathing and his maniacal laughter, and the distant sounds of party music coming from below...

Kai took his hands off of him, and Kyungsoo fell out of the vision, feeling dazed and cross-eyed. He'd forgotten all about his squeezed shut eyes and the fingers in his ears. Though the vision had been obscure, it was so hauntingly real and Kyungsoo knew that he would never be able to shake off the memory of it. Who could shake off a memory of that pleading voice, that demonic laugh, that sudden stopping of a person's breath?

"H-how?" he managed to stutter out.

Kai didn't even laugh this time. "Being with a ghost comes with several... ah... privileges, I guess. Not that it makes up for being alive." He paused for a moment, his silence bitter. "Well, do you get it now, Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo didn't answer.

"Oh Sehun took away everything from me. He took away my ing life, my ing ity, my ing love. I ing loved him so much, Kyungsoo! I gave him everything I had - I would've always given him everything I had - and he just took it away, dashed it to pieces, left me with this." Kai made a gesture of disgust at his body, and for the first time it occurred to Kyungsoo that it probably wasn't very fun being a ghost.

"S-so?" Kyungsoo didn't want to reply, but Kai's silence was agonizing, and the ghost had switched back to his 'angry' mode. His eyes were balls of fire and his 'skin' was warming up, which Kyungsoo had not thought was possible.

"So - we take revenge."

Kyungsoo took a step back. "No, Kai, no. Sehun... wasn't himself, you're not yourself, I'm not getting mixed up in some business that happened thirty years ago, and-"

"Listen!" Kai grabbed his arm again, and this time his fingers locked together, with no intention of letting Kyungsoo go. "I don't care. Sehun betrayed me and stole everything I had, and he went unpunished. You know what happened after he killed me? He went on to date another guy, and nobody suspected him of the crime. I was there, sitting in the shadows, watching for people to do something.  I was so eager to see him get what he deserved. And it never happened. He just moved out of this house with his little boyfriend and was never heard of again. But we're going to make sure that doesn't happen."

"What do you ing want, Kai?" screamed Kyungsoo. "Just let me go! I shouldn't have anything to do with you and your little boyfriend! Go haunt him yourself, don't ing bother me in the process!"

If Kai heard his words, he didn't give any sign that he did. He only dragged Kyungsoo to his feet roughly, leaving him completely disoriented and more panicked then he'd been even earlier that night. "You're coming with me, Kyungsoo."

"I'm - not!"

Kai's fingers were burning, searing into his arm and growing hotter the more Kyungsoo struggled. And he was struggling, fighting Kai with all the strength he had; but it wasn't enough, and Kyungsoo knew it. He'd been fighting a losing battle from the start.

And before he had time to utter another protest, the world began to spin around him just like the snow outside his window, and as it spun it began to vaporize, fading away before his eyes, and everything was confusion and whiteness and all he could feel was Kai's burning grip on his arm-

-and then everything stopped with a jerk and light flooded his eyes, and somehow Kyungsoo knew that they had gone back in time.