As much as I would like for this to not be true, I just want to say may you rest in peace, Jonghyun. I was hoping that upon this news, everyone would come together to pay their respects to one of the most influential k-pop idols. He blessed us all with his gorgeous spirit and beautiful voice.

 

And to think he had these demons, I would have never guessed. This just proves the saying, Don't judge a book by its cover. Because even though he made it look like everything was okay, he had been suffering on his own.

 

Kim Jonghyun, age 27, was a member of one of the few standing second generation k-pop groups, SHINee. These men are all well-respected in the k-pop industry and were part in paving a way for some of our favorite groups today. As a k-pop fan born from the second generation and as a k-pop fan born as a SHAWOL, this was the most devastating news I've received to date. My heart is aching and I'm still shaking.

 

Jonghyun was an artist who cared about his community. He supported the LGBTQ+. He shone a light on poverty stricken children, victims of ual violence, and mental illness. In general, he also helped the world see the Asian community in a different light.

 

This man was one of my first rolemodels: always so kind and never faltering from his sweetheart and good guy persona. He taught me to chase after my dreams and do everything with grace. He inspired my happiness and his/SHINee music was my go-to whenever I was feeling a little down in the dumps every now and then. His music spoke to millions.

 

To my SHAWOL family, let us grieve together in remembering one of our brightest babies. To an idol who will never be forgotten. To the members of SHINee, who also must be in distress after the news of the death of one of their brothers. To Jonghyun's family, who will be having the hardest time. To everyone who may know someone who is suffering, please reach out to them.

 

Thank you, Kim Jonghyun, for everythnig you've done to bless the world during your existence. May you find the peace you've been searching for, my beautiful boy.

 

April 8, 1990 - December 18, 2017