“Yes, Jung Yunho speaking”

“That’s it Yunho-yah, i crossed your name out of our family”

“Aww... I miss you too, omma.” Yunho whines playfully. He wasn’t even the slightest bit taken aback by what his mother said. They have been having this kind of conversation over and over again for at least three months. All for the same old reason.

“Omma is serious, Yunho-yah! Why did you leave Boa-ssi hanging and leave her alone waiting for you all by herself? That’s rude!” Mrs. Jung couldn’t even know what kind of words he should use so that her son would listen to her words. “Her mother had just called me and ask if it is better to cancel the plan of betrothing you to each other...”

Then just call it off... Yunho thought nonchalantly as he was arranging some important report on his desk. “i was planning to come, but work got in the way. I was called to attend some um... cases?” Come Yunho hesitating answer, even he himself felt this excuses is already overused. “I had already inform Boa-ssi that i couldn’t come for our promised dinner...” Yunho try to reasoned out. He winched and had to put his phone away from his ear when he heard his mother hollered from accross the line.

“YOU CALLED HER AFTER YOU MADE HER WAIT FOR 4 HOURS, YUNHO! FOUR.FRIGGIN’.HOURS!”

Mrs. Jung sighed exaspetaredly. It never come to her mind that she would one day scream her heart out to his golden son “What should i do to you Yunho-yah. Boa-ssi is such a sweet girl. She wouldn’t be willing to wait for you that long if she wasn’t interested in you.”

That was actually the sole reason I tried to tell her straightly that it wasn’t going to work between Us, The girl clearly have some feeling towards him. He didn’t have the heart to play around with the poor girl heart any longer. Yuho chuckled lowly. To think that he was someone who used to be a number one player back in his youth.

He had used all excuses that he could think of to refuse every girl his mother tried to hook him to these past months. And so far, he had to admit that Boa-ssi is indeed the best out of them all. She is the typical demure woman anyone would love as a housewife, elegantly beautiful, a good cook, attentive, and loving. Yunho couldn’t find any fault in that woman.

Beside the fact that she is not ‘that person’.

That’s why Yunho decide to just cut it short. It it won’t be fair for Boa to be with someone like him. A wounded man who could never love anyone wholeheartedly ever again. Boa-ssi deserves to be loved, by anyone but him.

“Yunho-yah, do you hear me?!”

Mrs. Jung voice finally snap Yunho out from his reverie. “Um... yeah, umma. I hear you. What was that again?”

“Sigh... Do you really wish to live the rest of your life alone, Yunho-yah? Who will take care of you if something happened?” His mother soft voice was laced in worry. Yunho couldn’t help feeling guilty creep upon him. But someone should tell his mother that Yunho wasn’t ready to open his heart to anyone just yet. “I know finding a new partner is not easy after what happened with Ja-”

“O-Omma. I think someone is calling for me. I hang up” Yunho abruptly cut the phone call. He can’t help but to feel a sense of panic start spreading on his chest. Even after all these years, Hearing his name still brought the same effect on Yunho.

“Another set up meeting Inspector Jung?” Min woo was casually eating his jajangmyun. “You know, your mom actually have the reason to be worried. You’ve stayed single for too long.” He added with a mouth full of the tasty noodle. The black bean paste got smeared on his had and he just it off.

Yunho hissed at how of a mess the black bean paste made his face become. He reach for the tissue on top of his desk and shoved it to his co-worker face. “Please. Not another relationship lecture from a guy who can’t even eat properly.” Yunho rolled his eyes heavenward.

“at least i have a lover who could feed me up anytime i please” Min woo retort. “not as sad as someone who would spend holidays hollered up in blanket even on christmas, can’t even move on and keep mourning over a dead lover.”

Yunho feel something in him finally snapped, the next minute he was already hovering over Minwoo desk hitting it with all his might, hard, making the plate on top of it rattled. The impact of the hit even managed to startled Minho who sits several desk away from them.

“CAN’T YOU STOP FUSSING AROUND MY PROBLEM?!” Yunho spat, gritting his teeth. The vein on his forehead looks like it was about to burst. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO?! YOU NEVER KNOW HOW TERRIBLE IT WAS FOR ME, SO STOP TELLING ME TO MOVE ON LIKE IT WAS AS EASY AS YOU CHANGING YOUR FLINGS EVERY.SINGLE.ING.WEEK!” Yunho was about to lose it. He grips Minwoo collar tightly, so tight that his long fingers turns white. Minho decide it was his cue to rush over to the two best friends and stop them before it caused any problem. He quickly stand between the two, trying hard to separate them from each other.

“And don’t forget im still your superior here, Minwoo! You better watch out the way you talk to me from now on!” Yunho tried to push his way through Minho, but Minho refused to give in. It wouldn’t look good if anyone saw them fighting in workplace.

“Hyung. please calm down, we’re still on duty.” Minho pleads, this is the first time he ever see this one particular Sunbae lost his composure. Jung Yunho was the one who always manage to keep his cool intact, well, not when his late wife name was brought back to the surface apparently. He cautiously put his hand on Yunho shoulder hoping it to calm the senior inspector anger.

Minwoo on the other was petrified. Sure, he crossed the line a bit over there, a lot, actually, but he never thought that he would ever be the target of Jung Yunho warth one day. He never mean his words in a bad way, he only hopes his best friend could try to open up to a new relationship and forget his late wife already, its been three ing years, and his best friend is still mourning like the tragedy happened yesterday.

Minwoo gulped, remembering how Yunho fist almost landed straight on his face had Minho hadn’t got in their way. He have to learn how to keep his mouth shut, he noted to himself.

“Ch!” Yunho shrugs Minho hand harshly “im leaving” he spat before he quickly marching out of their office room.

Before any of them could stop him, Yunho figure already dissapeared behind the door. Both Minho and Minwoo flinched at how harsh Yunho slammed the door shut. Once they can’t see the figure of their superintendent anymore, Minwoo allow himself to slide down, crouching on the floor, he had been hiding his shaking legs and now his legs had given up.

Minho sighed lowly, peeking over through his shoulder. “Im sorry sunbae, but this time you’re being a jerk”

“Whoa, d-did you saw that? His fist was THIS close!” Minwoo flabbergastedly rambles on as he was bringing his own fist nearing his face, reenacting the event that had just happened. “Whoah, woaah, i thought i just saw my own life flashing right before my eyes a moment ago.” He dramatically hugged himself and rub his own arms up and down, attempting to shoo his goosebumps away.

“You should have already know that Jaejoong-hyung is a sensitive topic for Yunho-hyung, especially on this time of year.” Minho mutters as he is taking something on top on Yunho desk.

Minwoo furrowed his brows at what Minho told him. “hm? What do you mean?”

Minho didn’t answer his sunbae and just handed Minwoo the thing that he had just took from Yunho desktop, he walked back to his own desk and silently continue his report.

Feeling weirded, Minwoo look down on what Minho handed him. His eyes turn gloomy once the realization hit him, he hissed lowly when he know he owe his best friend one big apology. Heaving a big sigh, Minwoo finally put the thing back to where it was, on top on Yunho desk, right beside a portrait of a beautiful guy with a golden hair smiling so ethereally. Minwoo cursed lowly at how of a he suddenly feel of himself as he get back to his own desk, continuing his interrupted lunch.

It was a simple folding calendar. Nothing out of ordinary.

What made Minwoo feel guilty all of sudden was the note Yunho wrote on it.

Apparently, today’s date was circled with a bright red marker by none other than the owner of the calendar, with a little handwritten note neatly sribbled down below the circle.

“Our anniversary ^^"

“Annyeong...” Yunho halt his step, standing in front of a grey stone. After spending a silent minute to look longingly at it, he crouch down and reach his hand forward, gently trailing the name carved on the headstone “...boo” he wishpers softly, with a trace of a faint smile despite the permanent hollow feeling he felt in his chest.

“sniff” Yunho immediately take out a handkerchief on his back pocket once he felt something wet trailing down his nose. “Haha... winter is coming up again already, don’t you feel kinda cold here, Boo? look, I think im catching a cold” He uttered, trying to sound as cheerful as he can as he blow his nose to the soft fabric. Even though he know very well that this isn’t anything related to any kind of flu. He thought grimly as he was sniffing some more through his already reddened nose.

“anyway, how are you boo? It must be very lonely here. im sorry that i just have the time to visit You now. Work really got me busy these days” Yunho pause to look at the only one withered Cala lillies he brought, probably around a month ago. Another pang rushing on his constricted chest.

Seems like its just me again this month, people must have stop coming already,... Yunho smiled bitterly.

“My poor wife must be very lonely...” He chuckled grimly as he once again Jaejoong gravestone gently.

Everyone has moved on already...

Everyone...

Except him.

Its been like this these past months, whenever he visit Jaejoong, he would only find one bouquet of flowers here, the bouquete he brought on his previous visit. Unlike how it was on the first year, where there were always so many bouquet of flowers on Jaejoong last resting place brought by so many people who loved his wife dearly, but as the time passed, the number of flowers and visitors keep decreasing, until Yunho could only find his own bouquet alone whenever he visited his wife now.

Yunho had tried to ignore it at first, But he can’t keep fooling himself and pretend that little things like this failed to make him restless. Its really hard for Yunho to accept that Jaejoong presence is slowly fading from everyone mind, even from their close friends and family. He couldn’t help thinking that everyone was slowly moving on forward, leaving Jaejoong alone in this cold place.

The pain was no joke, everytime he have to stare at the lonely withered flowers on top of Jaejoong headstone, Its like a silent reminder for him, that he too, probably someday will be able to live a day where things about Jaejoong wouldn’t cross his mind anymore.

He don’t want that.

Yunho don’t want to completely erase parts of Jaejoong that had been engraved within him. Everyone else could move on with their life as they please but Yunho swore that he won’t leave Jaejoong behind.

Because he think that the time when he is finally be able move on, is when he would finally have to acknowledge that his wife is indeed had gone from this world, and he is sure that would feel like he is losing Jaejoong twice.

­“Jaejoongie...” Yunho voice come out a little bit strained, as he was choking on his own unshed tears. He forced a smile on his handsome face nonetheless.

But no one strong enough to fight the power time has.

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