My Love For You Is Ridiculous!

Taehyung sat on the floor of the hotel room, in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, which wouldn’t let themselves be opened, when he needed to breathe the most. He let his head fall against the glass in hope the coolness of the surface would help him calm down, would help his heart to slow down, help his breathing turn back to normal. A Minute or so he closed his eyes trying to get his mind together without much of a success though. For a moment he wished himself away to a faraway place, somewhere where he could breathe, could think, where he could calm down, could forget even for a bit. He had to open his eyes due to a sudden dizziness, adding to his other problems. His left hand made contact with the window as well, hiding a bit of the view that was Tokyo. Taehyung didn’t know what to do. He felt broken, felt as if he was falling where no ground was, an endless black hole. Another wave of hiccup breaths followed by more sobs and tears had him hugging himself and pulling his knees closer. Briefly he was surprised that he’d gotten so attached, that he felt so many emotions, that he actually loved so much. Now, he wished he hadn’t. If he just hadn’t gotten so attached, hadn’t felt anything, no love, no emotions, he wouldn’t be in this situation, wouldn’t be struggling. If he just hadn’t, like the other apparently did, or in that case, didn’t. Something deep inside his body started hurting. An incredible pain slowly spreading through his veins into his limbs, as realization dawned on him, that he was the only one to take their relationship or whatever it was fully serious.
Was everything a lie, from the beginning till the end? He didn’t want to believe that. The happy moments they shared couldn’t possibly have been an act after all. He couldn’t have been the only one feeling something.

There was a creaking sound somewhere in the room, presumably from the door, but Taehyung only tried to duck himself more into the window. He didn’t want to be seen like this, no matter who it was. He assumed it was Jimin, the one he shared the hotel room with, which made him feel a bit more at ease because Jimin wasn’t one to make fun of him now, well who would, but then again the slightly older probably had heard what happened and was here to talk, to ‘help’. However, from the way the person moved across the room, the silence that seemed to get heavier by every second, that had Taehyung hold his breath; he knew it couldn’t be Jimin. Taehyung felt his throat tightening, he really wanted to hide, to disappear and avoid the person that made his way over to him, when he came to the conclusion it could only be the person he wanted to avoid the most. He almost made no sound, secretly trying to wipe away the tears on his face that his sweater hadn’t caught by now. His face felt puffy another reason not to look up. All excuses to avoid the talk that was inevitably about to happen. The silent squeaking the bed made when the older sat down signaled him there was no backing out anymore, no hiding, no disappearing, no avoiding, too late.

Taehyung couldn’t suppress the shaky breath when the other cleared his throat. His mind went blank. “Tae.” He bit his lower lip at the nickname that held so many bittersweet memories. “Tae, look up.” Though he desperately not wanted to speak he wouldn’t let the other call him that way, never again. “Don’t. For you my name is Taehyung!” He tried lifting his head to make his point but figured he was not ready for that yet. Although he couldn’t see the older he could imagine the expression on his face, hurt probably, but that was just what Taehyung was aiming at. He should experience what it was like to feel that way. “Tae...Taehyung, please! Don’t make this any more uncomfortable than it already is.” His eyes opened wide as the sadness turned into anger within only seconds. His head shoot up but he still wasn’t quite facing the other. “That’s what it is? It’s uncomfortable for you? Is that all? Have you even felt a thing? Was this even something serious for you?” He bit his tongue preventing himself from getting louder than necessary and also to regain some rationalism. The other sighed and for a moment he meant to hear a silent sob but it was so short that he wasn’t sure whether it was there or not. “Listen, Taehyung, you know the end was inevitable. You knew sooner or later we would need to break up. This, us, wasn’t meant to last forever, like all those Kdramas or Hollywood movies predict. It was good while it lasted but now it’s over.”

For a brief moment Taehyung wondered if the other had always been so cold. “That’s the reason? The only reason for you to break up with me is that ‘it’s not going to last anyway’? You just dump me because that’s easier for you?” His counterpart started squirming, which signaled Taehyung that he must have been right. “Yoongi that’s bull!” he hissed. “I loved you. Oh wait, that’s wrong. After all: I love you! And you dump me because maybe in the future we would break up anyway?” The younger got up, gaining a bit courage and took a step forward, now facing the other. “Have you even loved me? Even felt something, anything? Was this all a game for you? A bet? How to break my heart or something like this? Did you have fun playing with me?” Yoongi got up as well raising his right hand, about to slap the other but lowering the hand in the last second. “Don’t get to ahead of yourself. I’m hurting too! But I just don’t see a future for us.”

The dizziness from earlier returned making Taehyung’s legs wobble. “This is incredible. Let me repeat that. Your reason for insulting me these past days, for breaking up with me in the middle of the night is that you don’t see a future for us?” The air left his lungs at the silent ‘yes’ he received. “What on earth makes you think that?!” Yoongi his lips, seemingly searching for the right words. Seemingly. “Okay. I thought it was obvious but guess you didn’t notice.” Taehyung felt there was venom in his voice. It made him shiver. “We are both popular idols in a country that doesn’t approve of same--relationships. Open your eyes, Taehyung, if this had somehow gotten out our careers would’ve been over, and probably not only ours but it would have been bad for BTS, for everyone, as well.” He heard Yoongi swallow, and he liked to think it was because it wasn’t easy for him to say that. “And you haven’t thought about talking to me about that? I’m part of us as well. I have a right to voice out what I want as well. Don’t you think that would have made it easier? I mean for you it’s easy but for me…” Taehyung wanted so desperately to just run away. He couldn’t believe that everything was happening, couldn’t believe they were over. He wanted so desperately to let go. Yoongi noticed the younger’s struggles and cautiously laid a hand on his shoulder, slowly caressing the fabric of the sweater with his thumb. It wasn’t helpful at all, made him remember all the soft touches they shared, all the close moments with just the two of them. He couldn’t let that go. For a second time he bit his lower lip preventing himself from whimpering. “So you just want to end this here and now?” He whispered. Yoongi didn’t answer right away, again carefully choosing his words, but this time they weren’t venomous but gentle. “I don’t… but I have to as the older I’m responsible. I need to be the one rational. Better we hurt now, than later.” The thumb caressing his shoulder stops for an instant and presses down a little harder, convincing Taehyung it isn’t easy for the other as well. “It’s only two years that make you older… and also, as the older, wouldn’t it have made more sense to include me in that decision?” Yoongi looked away, looked behind the younger out of the window. “Probably.”

Taehyung closed his eyes, his heartbeat and breathing slowly returning to normal. The silence that surrounded them had something final, still Taehyung wouldn’t give in. He took one last step forward and captured the older in his arms. Yoongi was surprised at first but embraced the other soon after. He belonged there, everything felt right, like that. Yoongi pressing his face in Taehyung’s sweater, while Taehyung buried his face in the croak of Yoongi’s neck, breathing in his scent. For a while none of them dared to say a word.

After minutes that had passed Taehyung tightened his arms slightly, in case the other wanted to leave. “Tell me, how could I forget everything we had?” Yoongi’s hands clenched in his sweater. “I don’t know.” He answered. “But we have to try. We just cannot continue this.” And with that Yoongi pushed himself away from Taehyung and left the room. He left. Something in Taehyung’s heart left as well. Long after the door feel into the lock, the sound echoing through the whole room, ringing in his ears, Taehyung sank down on the bed, his eyes again focused on the city but he wasn’t seeing anything. Yoongi’s smell was still in the room, on Taehyung’s clothes and the warmth of Yoongi’s embrace still lingered. The warmth of their last embrace.

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A/N: First, I'd like to thank all the Subs, truly thank you for having faith in this ^^' or being interested. I hope I didn't dissappoint, though it's a sad ending. 
Second, I'm thinking about writing a Prequel and/or a Sequel to this, depends on if I want this to have a happy or unhappy ending. Please write down if y'all who read this want something like that BUT I can't promise anything. If I do it and I already have some tiny vague ideas for a Prequel, I can't say that I'll be able to upload it in like a month because I really don't know ^^' also I'm bad at keeping promises when it's about updating fanfiction. It always depends on how I'm feeling and if I want to write something (read: if I don't have a writer's block or school that is keeping me from writing anything close to a fanfiction). 
Thank you for reading this far :D and I hope you liked the OneShot