Walking through the crowds with a mask covered and round-shaped glasses, Namjoo tried her best to not bump anyone along the sidewalks. Its almost dawn. She fastened her steps as she almost reach her apartment, the one she rented. She sometimes thought it would be better to buy it.

     Breathing in all the air offered to her as soon as she entered the five-storey building; 1432 on 7th Apartment, she headed to the lift and pushed the up button. Soon the lift door opened and Namjoo disappeared, swallowed by the moving box. 

     It took less than 60 seconds to reach her apartment floor. She tapped the security pin and the magic door opened, giving her permission to enter. Her apartment was five times smaller than her dormitory at Seoul, but its enough for her. She was alone anyway.

     She took a bottle of plain water from the fridge and settle herself on the couch. Trying to recharge all the energy she has lost along her walks back home, she drank it until it almost empty, then closed the lid and put it on a small table beside her couch. Her eyes locked to the picture frame on the table. She has been putting it since the first day she moved in. The only thing she brought with her that reminded her of them.

     She struggled hard to finally settled in a new and unfamiliar place, without the members. It felt so awkward at first, coming back home without seeing Chorong in the kitchen, sometimes cook, sometimes arranging groceries, while Naeun sitting in the living room reading her novel with Eunji lying on her lap, took a nap. Exception for Hayoung, as she always knew the youngest spent hours playing games at their dormitory downfloor.

     She took the picture frame and brings it close to her chest. Curling up her legs and rested her head on them. She felt something was blocking her eyes, she closed them tight, and theres tears. The tears keep falling down past her cheeks. Her heart is aching too much, but she didn't know why. Is it because she missed them? Or is it because she still hurts? 

     It tooks a while for Namjoo to stop sobbing. Finally regains her consciousness, now she was mad. She felt stupid. She wasted all the plain water she just drank, crying over stupid things. She indeed stupid. Especially when she knows crying was not necessary anymore. Because soon she had to come back. Because she still tied to the three years extended contract.

     She couldn't believe she just wasted two years doing nothing whlist tied to them. Well, is Apink still doing well without her? Honestly she didnt know. She never tried to scroll down korean entertainment news, ever since the day one she left. She was afraid, people might cursed her, hating on her for leaving so sudden. She was afraid to know the members expressions, they must've felt betrayed. But she was more afraid, that no one really cared about her, her existence meant nothing to them. Because she knew it from the first place, people does care about her less than the others.

     Its not their faults anyway. Its hers. For being too p