Jinyoung

 

Hopeless surrounded by misery all alone, the cold breeze coming from the window thats is beside his bed reminded him his loneliness and his unavoidable end, he found hard to be believe how many time had passed and how much he have been here. The place where his mom died long ago was now the place where he was staying following the same destiny, even if his body was still alive and holding onto, his soul and his will has been long gone. The air he breath hurts, the sounds he hears break him and the things he see just kill him more. His only company since he entered the hospital was the old tree beside the window, always beside him supporting him when nobody else does, the leaves that always entered thought the window was the liveliest thing in the room. How many people has Jinyoung seen leave in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it just pray that in another life they could be able to live longer...
 
"Good morning Jinyoung-ssi how are you feeling today?" The nurse with the usual greeting and the usual smile mumbled, her uniform giving the vibe of being dirty and her hair messy hided on a simple hair tie. She looked sleep deprived and it was probably the case the schedules in the hospital where always busy for them.
Jinyoung smiled softly, his lips couldn't help it, every time he saw somebody trying hard to keep going forward a sudden feeling of pity made him a better person "better now that I saw you" he said making her smiled, that small gesture made his empty days worth it, to be able to make her smile in this crowded world was enough to make his life worth another day "can I ask you, what day is today?".
The nurse that was checking his vital signs and taking notes as she always did stopped to think "I'm sure is Monday, however the date..."
"No, that's enough, that's what I wanted to know"  he said before she continued.
"Are you going down today?" She asked looking uninterested.
"Nah!, my bed will miss me if I move for too long" he joked.
She took the last notes after taking a sample of his blood "that's it for the morning" she said. "After lunch you should go sit outside for a while, some fresh air could surely help you" she smiled and left to the next patient that was in the bed in front of his.
"Fresh air could help me?" he repeated quietly for himself cause if some fresh air could help him he wouldn't be here to begin with.

Food at the hospital was healthy and disgusting, not that the lady's didn't know how to cook but what they cook was impossible to taste well. After finishing a plate of soup he left behind the rest of the food and moved closer to the edge of the bed to see throught the window that directed to the garden, a huge garden full of roses and all types of flowers that is exclusive for patients, the idea of a good environment to help the sick to get better was for Jinyoung, a sick person, nonsense. However he appreciate the efforts they made to cheer the smallest children that have to be stuck there.

"Going down Jinyoung-ssi, how weird of you" the nurse that this morning attended him asked him, her hands full of papers and looking obviously busy.
"Should I go back to my room?"
"No! No, not at all" she insisted "please do enjoy the fresh air"
Hesmirked "I will"

Jinyoung walked down stairs, slowly and calmly, he wasn't in a hurry and his body wasn't use to walking this much, the slippers with the shape of bunny that where a present from his younger sibling caught the attention of a few people on the doors, yet he tried to not pay attention to them.
As soon as he stepped outside a cold breeze hit his skin sending shivers all over his body that were quickly fighted back by the warmth of the sunlight. He walked to an empty bench beside and old three as tall as the hospital and lively as the kid running in front of him, it brought back memories from the days he himself, played here while he visited his deceased mother. Everyone was wearing weird clothes, some where wearing the hospital gown, others comfy pajamas and others seemed to wear just what they simply found. Jinyoung, however, was a normal kind, wearing a blue joggers with an oversized white shirt, it was comfortable and it didn't look bad,  cause you never know when you might meet the love of your life, the thought of that made his lips move into a bitter smile, somebody with so little time left he wasn't able to think of love.
The cold breeze, the laughter that could be hear and even the noises of the birds and of nature itself calmed his heart.


The moment his eyes closed was unknown to Jinyoung, the way his already tired heart slept so calmly in that bench was still unknown even to himself. Yet what was more unknown or rather surprising was how his forgotten self was accompanied by somebody. A sweater of a light red color was covering his resting body, from the sweater the smell of nature was strong but at the same time calming. Beside Jinyoung a tall man looking aimlessly at the park in front of him, his skin was pale and his hair of a bright red, when he noticed that Jinyoung was awake his eyes looked at him with a smile on his face.
"Good morning" his eyes where of a sweet brown and his smile gave Jinyoung the same vibe as the cold breeze, he didn't seem normal but he also wasn't suspicious to his eyes, somehow he made him feel at easy in an uncertain way.
"I think the morning long ago passed" Jinyoung answered sarcastically "is this yours?" he pointed at the sweater and the man nodded "Thanks"
Jinyoung tried to take it off but was soon stopped by him, his hand on Jinyoung's arm "its still cold" he said as he removed his hand.
The warmth from his hand extended to Jinyoung's whole body, suddenly he wasn't cold anymore.
"Jinyoung" he said, hoping he would tell him his name.
His eyes again looked directly at Jinyoung's eyes "its amusing" he said giggling softly.
Jinyoung sat properly still holding the sweater "what is it?" he asked.
"Your name Its pretty, just as you" he mumbled smiling brightly not feeling the slight shame to say that to a man, yet the most shameless was probably Jinyoung's heart that wouldn't stop pounding hard inside his chest.
"I'm Mark" he stated "its short and simple so you won't forget it" he said looking again to the park in front.
The way he was dressed caught Jinyoung's attention, he was probably the only person in the whole hospital to wear jeans and snickers, as even the nurses and doctors had their own uniform. He was wearing a plain white shirt that on him didn't look that plain, along with the red sweater that was now on Jinyoung's hands.
"Are you from this hospital?" Jinyoung asked him.
He moved closer to Jinyoung still keeping a certain distant "what do you think?" He asked.
Jinyoung rolled his eyes but still felt intrigued by the man in front of him, "you don't look like a doctor, neither as a patient" He responded.
"Maybe... I'm a ghost?" Mark said.
"Then why can I see you?"He asked him.
He left a sigh scape his lips "I always wanted to meet you" Mark admitted "I saw you always from afar, always in that bed, always looking sad" his voice sounded somehow sad and sorrowful.
"Are you a stalker?" Jinyoung joked.
He snorted but hurriedly continued "you could say I am, cause among all the people in this hospital my eyes always end up looking just at you" he seriously said.
Jinyoung was left speechless, he could feel warmth creeping in his cheeks "Is that a love confession?" Again Jinyoung tried to joke, somehow, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't feel scared, totally opposite to it Jinyoung felt like he, among everyone in this building and even outside, was a person he could trust, as if he had meet him from long ago.
"It is" he looked straight to Jinyoung's eyes as those dangerous words left his lips.
Does love at first sight exist? Jinyoung wondered in that moment, maybe it does. The pounding in his heart and the blush in his cheeks where the proof, how long has it been since his heart raced like this...
But was it really first sight? Jinyoung felt like he has know him for a long time, similar to the feeling of a close friend.

Did he honestly likes him that way? Was he just lonely? Maybe Jinyoung is just hopelessly holding onto the only person who has ever said that to him. At his young age and without experience in that field Jinyoung accepted those feelings that where offered to the lonely him, he didn't ask much, and he didn't really told Jinyoung more but that was the best part of him.

After that day, they always saw each other on that bench, under the big tree that saw their so called love bloom, where many of Jinyoung's first happened. Where for the first time he felt loved and cared, where that empty warmth was enough to make Jinyoung feel at easy.
Not even the pain on his limbs stopped Jinyoung for looking at Mark, going down stairs was as important to Jinyoung as breathing. And seeing him became a need that resemble hunger.
 
"Your heart is beating really fast" Mark mumbled close to Jinyoung ear, the distant between their body's was nonexistent, his hands around Jinyoung waist who was sitting on Mark's lap. Mark head resting on Jinyoung's chest making him feel vulnerable.
Jinyoung tried to move a bit but Mark didn't let him go away that much "it seems... the stairs are getting harder for me..."Jinyoung murmured as an answer to Mark's words.
"You should say its because of me" he joked. He pressed a small kiss on Jinyoung neck that tickled him.
"Its half cause of you too and also of how embarrassing it's this posture" Jinyoung answered while looking around to check that nobody was watching.
Behind the big tree where nobody can see them, they spend their time together, just his company its enough for Jinyoung and it seems its the same for Mark.
"Then should I let go?"Mark asked him, his eyes looking like a puppy who needs attention.
Jinyo