(7:22 pm) Babe wru

(7:22 pm) r u really coming

(7:23 pm) the dip is  here

(7:26 pm) hey

(7:26 pm) soo?

(7:26 pm) which one?

(7:26 pm) on my way

(7:26 pm) yoong

(7:26 pm) found him on my couch

(7:26 pm) watching pretty woman

(7:27 pm) again

(7:27 pm) like 10th times after Taes wed

(7:27 pm) its that girl i think

(7:27 pm) again

(7:27 pm) just change them with your meg ryan collection

(7:28 pm) or

(7:28 pm) bring snack soo

(7:28 pm) whatever with cheese

(7:28 pm) and red bull

(7:28 pm) and stoli

(7:28 pm) and i wont let you change my film

(7:28 pm) yul?

(7:28 pm) julia is the best

(7:28 pm) oh

(7:28 pm) dip

For as long as she could remember, Yoong always−like a seriously constant existence−in her life. He was in her childhood album, he's in almost every class photo, and he's in her every year book. Not to mention in a couple of family outing photo, her -head-messy-brown- haired friend slipped between her all-black-haired-that-was-inherited-by-Kwon-ancestors family member.

"So you are actually, what?" she asks which he returns with shrugs. "It's an easy question, dickhead. Are you with her or not?"

"Shut up. I'm watching Julia yo- OW!" he rubs his head. A roll of today paper still in her hand, ready to give him another smack. He, rather not to mess with her−especially with a object in her hand−because, like seriously , Yuri could hit up to eight blows per second.

Those kids said she's reminded them of the fighting penguin video Taeyeon found at Nat Geo. Somehow the female penguin−do they have an actual name beside putting the gender?−has an affair with other male penguin−again, do they have an actual name beside putting the gender?− and got caught by her husband. Then they fight, hitting each other with super fast blow, until both of them bleed. In the end the female−that good-for-nothing-cheating female penguin−chooses to left his husband. It was so sad. Sooyoung still feel sad every time he sees a penguin.

And why is she thinking about penguin in the first place?

"We're going out. And have dates. An-"

"So she's your girlfriend?"

"Yes. No. Well, kinda. I don't know, Yul. We've never talk about it"

"Than, talk about it!" she barks and hits his arm with the rolled paper. He grunts at her and mumbling "Violet woman" and whatever he mutters while he move away to the end of the couch. Then he sulks.

Like he used to do. Like he often does.

When she has moved out from her family house to her own flat in the city, he crashed on her couch and did all woe-is-me-I-will-never-love-again Romeo routine. Like one time when they were in college, she found him in sweatpants and flip-flop curled up on her bed and hugging her frilly-shocking-pink throw pillow, sulking because his girlfriend, scratch that, ex-girlfriend dumped him.

The reason: she said Yoong always spent time with the three of them, and screwing Yuri behind her back. He quote, she told him to "Go back to your ".

The nerve.

The next day Yuri confronted the , Hyorin. Not for defending Yoong, of course, she didn't have to fight for his honour−she knew that idiot can deal with his problem by himself−beside he's better without Hyorin. But this plastic-filled-face-and-augmented-lip- got nerve to call her . That messed with the wrong people. Yuri slapped her across her face before those filthy-well-manicured-fingers of her reach her hair.

No, there no way she let that lowly creature got anywhere near her. Or her friends. Ever again.

That slap. Unfortunately, permanently documented. Grainy camera-phone footage of The Slap makes its way to YouTube. A twenty-second clip, no less, became trending−mostly by their the campus student− and comment full of them trying to guess how many decibels the slap is.

And Yuri became known.

But it was a long time ago and Internet wasn't as booming as these days. So not every people of the planet branded her as a crazy violent girl. Although Sooyoung told her how 'cool' she was and patted her in the back, Taeyeon said that his classmates was intimidated by her −"! Yuri, you're the freaking Regina George of this campus".

"Hey, what did I miss?" Sooyoung comes from the front door, letting himself in. Yeah, the boys seems have so much freedom in her house. She doesn't mind Sooyoung−please, he's her fiancée and practically lives here, he even had a drawer for himself−but head Yoong need to be reminded of the meaning of trespassing. Maybe it's time to changes her lock again. For the ninth time in the last five months.

Sooyoung pecks his fiancée's cheek before placing the plastic bag he was holding on the coffee table. Than he's frowning at the telly which apparently is showing Julia Robert in her beautiful red dress. Yeah−no need to deny−Julia is very beautiful and the dress is fantastic, but Yuri wants to watch Sleepless in Seattle. She supposes to has Meg-Ryan's-movie-marathon-date with her freaking fiancée tonight.

"What do you bring? Do you bring anything with cheese? Where's my vodka? And what's this smell? Hey Soo-"

"Shut up, Yoong" Sooyoung pulls out the take out boxes from the plastic bag. "What are you doing here, by the way? I have a date with Yuri, you know" he starts to eat the chicken tikka masala while putting his arm around Yuri's shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

Yoong's standing and wearing his jacket while grumbling by himself. Yuri cannot hear properly what he is talking but she guess it's only an outburst of profanity. And she's better to not ask or know what he is talking. Yoong, actually, has an extensive and interesting choice of vocabulary, especially when he is like this. One time she asked him what he was grumbling about, and all she could say was "You kissed your mother with that mouth?"

"It's not your business, Yul. I can't believe you let Soo yoko-ed us" then he huffs and opens the door. "Have a nice date"

"Such a drama queen" Sooyoung says when the door is closed. Properly. Gently. Not slammed. Yoong knows better not to mess with Yuri. Or her flat.

"Let him be. He'll come back. Now, can you please change the film? By this time I already can recite all most half of the line from this whole freaking film"

 

 

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(9:19 pm) hey

(9:19 pm) babe

(9:19 pm) did you change your lock again?

(9:19 pm) yoongs at my place

(9:19 pm) he said hes here cuz he couldnt open yours

(9:19 pm) Yul

(9:19 pm) yuri

(9:19 pm) he's playing the beatles

(9:20 pm) like almost an album

(9:20 pm) or two i dont know

(9:20 pm) he was here before i came back

(9:20 pm) and he emptied my fridge

(9:20 pm) well kinda

(9:25 pm) CHANGE IT NOW

(9:25 pm) hes angsting

(9:25 pm) and keep all your alcoholic drinks from him

(9:25 pm) and call taeyeon

(9:25 pm) he drunk my blueberry stoli

(9:25 pm) bottoms up

(9:25 pm) tae not pick up

(9:25 pm) ive tried

(9:25 pm) i think he is

(9:25 pm) you know...

(9:25 pm) occupied

(9:25 pm) hes shagging his wife

(9:25 pm) just say it soo

(9:25 pm) babe

(9:25 pm) hes talking about black sabbath isnt heavy metal

(9:25 pm) ?

(9:25 pm) what is this about?

(9:26 pm) who? yoong?

(9:26 pm) its the girl

(9:26 pm) the

(9:26 pm) not jessica

(9:26 pm) she burned cd

(9:26 pm) changed his metallica with that for the plant

(9:27 pm) i thought black sabbaths heavy metal

(9:26 pm) no they are not

(9:27 pm) i thought shes not a

(9:27 pm) have you ever seen her? ?

(9:27 pm) did i miss something?

(9:27 pm) YUL

(9:27 pm) HE PASS OUT

(9:29 pm) just

(9:29 pm) let him sleep

(9:29 pm) i'll come over first time in the morning

(9:29 pm) tomorrow

 

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Yuri, as the−self-proclaimed−most mature between the four of them, used to take care the three boys. Especially when they were going too wild. Or drunk. With their own quirk.  Sooyoung and Yoong are not that hard to deal. They are either drop dead drunk and sleep silently, or babbling their own secret. If you want the truth from Yoong or Sooyoung, just let them drown their selves with couple bottle of hard liquor, then you'll get your answer. It works like a ing veritaserum.

Taeyeon is another case. One time he attempted to skateboard down the stairs at one of the frat party. That time, for an insignificant minute, she wanted to let him broke his own legs or something and use his femur to decorate her flat's living room. Drunk Taeyeon is not good for her blood pressure.

"So tell me, dumb head. What did you do this time?" she says, frowning at his face and brushing his hair from his face. He drinks the water she gave earlier, along with Advil, and winces when he tries to open his eyes.

"Can you please close the curtain? it's killing me"

"I know you want to live in bat cave right now, but you have to tell me what's going on with you" she pulls his arms, forcing him out from the bed. "Hurry up, I have to work"

"Babe, is the breakfast ready?" she pecks Sooyong cheeks and thanks him for fixing their breakfast and places Yoong on one of the stool in the kitchen island.

"I think I asked her"

"Such a clear and comprehensive explanation, Yoong. No wonder you are a professor"

"Yul, give him a break. He's still not in his right mind"

She does the thin-lipped imperious nostril-flare thing to her fiancée. These boys sometimes really test her patience. They like to gang up against her. Some kind of bro code or some bull-. It was−it is−actually quite endearing, seeing all her boys having each other back. BUT. But they'll come to her when they want to have a heart-to-heart talk, like, why her, why put her in those situation. Just because she read all the Nicholas Sparks books, doesn't mean she's pro in those heart-to-heart talk, or drama solving, or like that.

And what most infuriating is, they'll defend their 'bro' when she wants to help them solving their . Then what's the point of that heart-to-heart talk with her. Pep-talk?

"I kinda asked to have relationship with me"

"And why do I have feeling that you're still not clear with her? What did you actually say to her?"

"I asked if she want to go steady with me" he cleans his glasses with his hem of his shirt before put it on the bridge of his nose. "She said yes"

"So?"

She's still cannot grasp this whole not-sure-if-it-was-a-relationship-but-kind-of-a-relationship-and-now-a-relationship-because-she-wants-to-go-steady-with-him situation makes Yoong drunk himself out. It is too weird and she never in this kind of situation and makes her think why she had to deal with this kind of drama when actually she has a perfectly almost no drama with her long time boyfriend, now fiancée.

Well, they fought. Once or twice or she isn't sure, she didn't count. But nothing big, nothing important. Like one time when she made Sooyoung to get into her diet. He didn't need it; she did. And she put him on diet. For solidarity. Which after a week, he snapped; 'I can't take this anymore, Yul. Enough with your celery or kale juice or whatever. And keep that tasteless from me'.

"So we were happy, well, I'm sure I was−I don't know about her, but I thin-"

"You're babbling, mate" Sooyoung cuts him.

Yoong looks pissed−actually he looks like has constipation−and annoyed. At Sooyoung. His dear friend whom kindly took care of him last night−took off his jacket, moved him to bed, and even covered him with clean warm duvet−and made him breakfast. She feels the urge to him for being an ungrateful prick.

"Yul" Yoong calls her, somehow looking amazed and−what the−hopeful.

She rises her brows.

"You're a girl"

Now she's really pissed.

"Very well spotted"

"And you had fiancée"

"Excellent observation" Sooyoung also sounds pissed.

"Your fiancée must have met your parents, right?"

"Her fiancée is here, Yoong. You act like I'm not even here"

"I'm sorry, but I'm honestly lost" she frowns at Yoong. "Are you saying-"

"Jessica told me that her parents want to meet me. They invite me to a family dinner. A ing family dinner. What's the point of family dinner when you invite a non-family into it. Did you do this too, Soo? Did you meet Mr. and Mrs. Kwon? They're lovely, you know. Mrs. Kwon especially. You should try her baked alaska. It-"

"Hey! Keep it together! Keep it together!" she puts her hand on his shoulder. "No need to panic. We'll tell you everything that we know. We'll help you okay. You'll be fine"

"But it's your family. It must be different. You're family is nice, and warm−well, your father is border line scary, sometime− do you know he has six crossbow hidden in your garage? My point is her family is not your family. So your experience could be hearsay at best"

She folds her arms in front of her chest.

"You want our help or not?"

"Yes, please"

She sagely nod.

"So what kind of family does she has? It shouldn't be that different from my family, right?"

"She's from old money, Yul"

"Wait, what?!"

 

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(4:55 pm) babe

(4:55 pm) im pulling group meeting

(4:55 pm) now

(4:55 pm) r u in?

(4:55 pm) can u?

(4:55 pm) im worried bout yoong

(4:55 pm) ing old money

(4:55 pm) wait

(4:55 pm) does tiffany also from old money?

(4:55 pm) did tae ever say something?

(4:59 pm) no shes not

(4:59 pm) shes normal

(4:59 pm) im still at my moms

(4:59 pm) dont think can make it sorry

(4:59 pm) no need to worry he will do just fine

(4:59 pm) just make him watch those collin firth movies

(4:59 pm) hes really cool

(4:59 pm) oh let him watch downtown abbey

(5:02 pm) hes angsting soo

(5:02 pm) and he did that thing he does where he fusses over for ten minutes then says he refuse to talk about it anymore and change the subject but before we actually talk he brought Jessica back

(5:02 pm) can i just hit him

(5:02 pm) classic yoong

(5:02 pm) hes making me worry

(5:02 pm) hes here eating all cereal

(5:02 pm) your cereal

(5:02 pm) the kelloggs

(5:02 pm) WHAT

(5:02 pm) what

(5:03 pm) its unhealthy

(5:03 pm) you let him eat my cereal?

(5:03 pm) babe

(5:03 pm) he uses his hand

(5:03 pm) keep it from him please

(5:03 pm) its dirty and its all over my couch

(5:03 pm) pleeeeessseeee

(5:03 pm) babeeeeee

(5:03 pm) too late

(5:03 pm) and your whining

(5:03 pm) its unattractive

(5:03 pm) also you should stop eating that everyday

(5:04 pm) its unhealthy

(5:04 pm) you just jealous i can eat it and  you don't

(5:04 pm) arent you?

(5:04 pm) dont worry ill share my cereal if u kept it for me

(5:04 pm) do u want to die

Sometimes−and only sometimes−Yuri would ask herself, how did she end up with this kind of neurotic friends? She used to be in the veritable fortress of testosterone. She has three older brother. Three rowdy, overprotective, nosy brother, with biceps almost as big as her head, and like to pet her hair. And her childhood friend who sometime likely to forget about personal boundary and barged in her place; he said 'we've shared a bath, Yul. Don't get your knickers in twist". Yeah, when they were five.

Taeyeon's weird. Just weird. He is−as he claims−not really blessed in height department; at least for a guy. And interested in many different things. Weird things. Like join astronomy seminar in his first semester in college. And sometimes had a rather unique idea. Like one time, when they were kid, he wanted to form an underground metal band. It was ridiculous.

She has to admitted though, that her friends, although weird and annoying−her personal opinion−could be a very charming blokes. Other people always assuming that she is going out or was dated with one of them. Either Taeyeon or Yoong. But no and no-way-in-seven-hell she would ever date one of them. They could cause a serious to her. Not to mention it felt like .

Then she met Sooyoung in college. He is normal−borderline normal, moreover since he hangs out with those Dumb and Dumber. He has a boy-next-door aura and he smells like pine, spearmint, and hint of the lemon-scented Pledge her mother used to wipe the kitchen counter with. He smells clean. And most of time he's calm. That's what she wants. That's what she needs.

Plus, he's the type who'll be loved by mother. Especially, the one who likes to shove two or three servings on his plate when he came to dinner. Like her mother. Because he loves to eat and blessed with wormhole inside his stomach instead of normal human intestine.

And he helps her take care of those Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum. The first time she brought him to eat with Yoong and Taeyeon, he said "You're very small. Here. Eat more" and wouldn't let Taeyeon's plate empty; Yoong, whom biting his lip and trying to hold laugh at Taeyeon, then get "And you're very thin. Here, take this" and kept filling Yoong's plate. This, cause her to got dragged to the loo by the two. They complained how her super-skinny-and-super-tall boyfriend was mothering them, not to mention how hypocrite it was; which she had to explained how Sooyoung cannot gain anymore weight and metabolism to die for. Then Yoong and Taeyeon gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder, and fledging bonds of a highly unlikely friendship were forged.

"Maybe we should ask Tiff" Taeyeon suggests.

"NO. Don't call her" she stops Taeyeon who's already holding his phone. "This is a closed group, alright. It tire me enough to take care three of you. I'll seriously die young if you add another one"

"You're exaggerating, Yul"

"Yes, I know. But I was making a point, so it's necessary" she rises her brow at Yoong. "Stop trying to call her! And I'm talking to you, dickhead!", she roughly snatches Taeyeon's phone from his hand.

Tiffany's an okay girl. Yuri thinks she's fine. Tiffany's pretty, nice, kind, impeccable taste of fashion and−according to Taeyeon−has couples of very in set of Louboutin−of course Taeyeon knew what to call those red sole shoes, Yuri educated her friends well. Tiffany takes care of Taeyeon and could handle him. And she's cheerful. Too cheerful for Yuri liking, and sometimes reminded her of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde−except the hair; Tiffany's brunette−, and she has a tinny cute fluffy maltese, not chihuahua−thank God, those overly high-pitched barks really makes her edgy.

"But she's Jessica's bestfriend" he says exasperatedly. "She must know something about Jessica's family. Or parents"

Yuri is contemplating. Her baby blue fingernails is tapping at the arm of the single sofa she is sitting. Tiffany probably could be a good input in this situation. But she's so...cheery. And mostly jolly, with full blast of energy like kids on sugar rush. She doesn't know if she can handle it. She feels upset enough just looking at Yoong munching while keep holding a box of cereal life it is a life jacket. Her fingers was itching to switch those sugar-glazed-corn-flakes with her naturally-sweetened-granola or something healthier from her shelve or fridge. 

“Alright. Call her” she says, dismissively. She gives Taeyeon his phone back while standing from her seat .“Grab your keys. And your wallet.”

They groan. “Why?”

She rolls her eyes. “You guys are hopeless and making me stress. We’re going shopping, okay? There’s a totally in’ True Religion vintage leather jacket that I want. Tell Tiffany to meet us there. We can talk about this whole bloody family dinner while I try the jacket on”

Taeyeon immediately dials his wife.

“Can we drop by on supermarket first?” Yoong counters, “I need more cereals”

She clenches her teeth and huffs−should she just let this idiot die by diabetes or what?−"No, dip. Just get your arse off my couch. Like ing now”

The dumb and dumber are scramming to the door with her following them. She sighs and shakes her head and she can't wait until Yoong to pulls his head out of his arse and seriously do something about his situation.

 

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(9:36 pm) hey yul

(9:36 pm) i know u said ur working late

(9:36 pm) yeah sorry couldnt come w/ u guys

(9:36 pm) hv fun

(9:36 pm) and you said u cannot join us but i think u should know

(9:36 pm) just tell me all bout it later

(9:36 pm) this

(9:36 pm) its kinda urgent

(9:36 pm) dont forget to ask yoong bout his dinner

(9:36 pm) so u know the

(9:36 pm) is not a

(9:36 pm) shes like 20something and not actually his student

(9:36 pm) why r we talking out the ?

(9:36 pm) is urgent?

(9:36 pm) shes jessicas sister

(9:37 pm) thats...

(9:37 pm) surprising but not urgent

(9:37 pm) right?

(9:37 pm) yoong said she acted weird at the dinner

(9:37 pm) like got constipation or something

(9:38 pm) i knew it!

(9:38 pm) got something for yoong

(9:38 pm) shes not a yul

(9:38 pm) ing drama

(9:38 pm) so how was it? did she rampage like anne boleyn or something?

(9:38 pm) yoong didnt tell so much bout the dinner except he did have four meal course

(9:38 pm) thats just getting interesting

(9:38 pm) and her father showed him his lacrosse team photograph and trophy

(9:38 pm) its good sign isnt?

(9:38 pm) he didnt show him a stash of secret rifle and ammo

(9:38 pm) like your dad did to me when i first meet your parents

(9:38 pm) so it think it went well

(9:38 pm) told u hell do just fine

(9:39 pm) bet that dip didnt even realize likes him

(9:39 pm) poor crushing on dense idiot

(9:39 pm) and my dad didnt own the rifle

(9:39 pm) my brothers did

(9:39 pm) your brother really scary

(9:39 pm) btw

(9:39 pm) and big

(9:39 pm) you said something urgent

(9:39 pm) oh right urgent

(9:39 pm) so think he and jessica are fine after the meet the parent

(9:39 pm) even with the surprise sister

(9:39 pm) again surprising but not urgent

(9:39 pm) just tell me soo

(9:40 pm) okay so here

(9:40 pm) do you know his boss tell him to go to those training or research whatever?

(9:40 pm) like overseas

(9:40 pm) yeah i think he mention bout it last week

(9:40 pm) nothing big he used to do that

(9:40 pm) so hell go for like two years or something

(9:40 pm) do you know bout that?

(9:40 pm) HE WHATT?!!