♪So before I let you go, I want to say I love you ♪

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

Chanyeol wakes up feeling that someone is poking him on his right side. The giant rises up. “Oh buddy, you’re awake! Ok, let’s get ready now, Appa must be waiting for us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why are you here?” he holds the door firmly, with a blank expression evident on his face. Chanyeol gulped at this. His Baekhyun is angry.

 

“I kept calling you, but you aren’t answering my calls.”

 

“Oh really now?”  Baekhyun exclaimed sarcastically. “You were avoiding me for a whole freaking week, Chanyeol, and now you’ll show up telling me that?”

 

The taller was so sure that he did have avoided his boyfriend he certainly has his reasons. “Baek, I am so sorry. Just please, can you talk to me now?” Chanyeol pleaded to him. The shorter raised his brow as if challenging him. Chanyeol thought it was over not until Beakhyun slammed the door right infront of his face causing him to hit his forehead on the door.

 

“…” he hisses as he holds his forehead but, he made sure not to let Baekhyun hear it. He was busy caressing his forehead not fully aware that the door is once again opened. “I am so sorry!” Baekhyun looks at him terrified. The giant smiled at that but obviously, he is still in pain.

 

“It’s o-

 

“I’m so sorry.” Baekhyun hugs him abruptly and Chanyeol totally forgot that he just hit his forehead on a door.

 

“I should be the one apologizing, I had avoided you for a week but, I was actually preparing something for you. Now, can you come with me?” the taller says as he kisses his brunette’s temple.

 

“Wait I still have to change my clothes. But where are we going, anyway?” the giant pull away on their embrace.

 

“It’s a secret.”

 

Beautiful garden with a candle-light dinner is seen as they both walk to a beautiful scenery. It was amazing and the brunette can’t help but to stare at the lights illuminating the dark area. “You made all of this?” Baekhyun asked the giant and the latter smiled sheepishly while nodding. “Is this why you’ve been so busy lately?” the giant nodded again. “I wanted to surprise you but I ed up and made you angry. I am so sorry, Baby.” Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun as he cups his face and gave him an innocent kiss on the lips. Baekhyun shakes his head with a smile playing on his lips.

 

As the night comes, they ate, chat, laughed. It was beautiful. With the moon above them, being a witness of their shared love, it was perfect. Baekhyun could not ask for more. However, Chanyeol can’t say the same.

 

“Baek I have been thinking about this for so long, and I think this is the right time to say it. I know we’ve only been together for a short time. But hey, that doesn’t matter right? Honestly, I’ve been loving you for years now but I only had the guts to talk to you, no, you talked to me first actually. And honestly, I am thankful for that. In those times, I never thought I could still fall in love with you so deeply. So now, I am right here, in front of you-

 

Chanyeol sighs with a nervous  smile, he kneels down on one knee, “Byun Baekhyun, will you marry me?”

 

Baekhyun was crying. Channyeol whom he loves the most is asking him to marry him. He wanted Chanyeol for so long. He never thought that his dreams would eventually come true. “yes, yes Chanyeol.”

 

The two newly engaged love birds shared the rest of the night making love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Chanyeol-ah, where are you now?” the giant chuckled at this. Seriously, he always loses his patience.

 

“Just wait okay, I am coming.”

 

“Okay, Hurry up!” the call ended and Chanyeol immediately rushes down to get his car keys.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The giant is getting busy again and this is because it is his brunette’s birthday. “Chill the up, Yeol!” Jongin shouts at hhim. “You’re making me dizzy.”

 

Chanyeol looks up at him with his wide eyes. “Are you sure everything’s set? The balloons, the cake- wait the puppy?!” Chanyeol runs again at the nth time of the day, earning him a hard slap from Kyungsoo. “I swear to God Chanyeol, if you won’t stop, I am going to kill you.” Jongin immediately went to his side while rubbing his back. Sehun could only laugh at them while carefully sneaking at the table getting some cupcakes at the side.

 

Baekhyun always loves puppets. He always wanted to have one but he can’t afford to buy. Chanyeol, being a great fiancé he is, found it an opportunity to give his Baekhyun what he wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Mongryeong-ah, I am sure Appa would be happy to see you. Ok, now, be good and don’t give us a hard time later, okay?”

 

Chanyeol arrives with the puppy on his right hand. He was welcomed with a smile and a wave coming from a guy standing just meters away from him. He hurriedly walks to him and smiled too.

 

 

“Oh Mongryoeng-ie, you’re here!” the puppy barks at him and comes forward letting Chanyeol give way.

 

“What took you so long?” he asks as he glared at Chanyeol. The latter only smiled sheepishly. “You woke up late again, Chanyeo!” the giant could only chuckle at that. “Where’s Jongin by the way?”

 

The guy could only look at him “He’s at his office, probably signing some stupid papers on his desk.” Chanyeol laughs at that “Soo, stop giving my friend a hard time, he clearly loves you, you know.” The owl-eyed guy could only sigh. He does love Jongin but it’s complicated.

 

Afterward, Kyungsoo could only look down and smile, “Baek…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally after years of loving the brunette secretly, he is now married to him. Chanyeol  smiles remembering how they made their honeymoon last night. He hugs the brunette who is lying next to him on their bed¸ afraid to ever let him go. “Baek” the giant calls his husband. “Baek, Baby?”

 

Chanyeol frowns as he looks at Baekhyun.

 

“Baby?” he cups Baekhyun’s face and Chanyeol immediately breaks down with tears rolling down on his face. “Baekhyun!” he shrugs his husband desperately. He doesn’t want to let go yet. No. Not this time.

 

 

“I am so sorry Mr. Park, Mr. Byun, as we see the results here, it is too late for you to undergo chemo or any other medications. Your body is too weak already to be able to endure the effects.”

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun cried at that time all day. Now, that he was so eager to undergo medication. Now that he finally has his reasons. Now, that he wants to live longer, why won’t the heavens let him? Why now? “Baek, Baek, please stop crying.” Chanyeol hugs him as if telling him it’s alright. Everything would be alright. “No, Chanyeol. I am so sorry. I just can’t. I don’t know anymore.” The giant eagerly holds Baekhyun the rest of the day telling him it’s okay. He will be okay. They will be okay.

 

 

“Chanyeol, I’ve been keeping this  journal of Baekhyun  with me. He asked me to give this to you when time will come.”

It was hard for Kyungsoo to not break down in front of Chanyeol as he hands him the journal to him. The giant gets it from his hand, eyes puffy, hair disheveled. It was clear, it was so painful to see your husband dead right beside you. They have been married for just a day. It was too harsh.

 

 

 

Life’s too short, I have to make the most out of it. Now, let me list the things I want to do with him.

 

1. To get Chanyeol’s attention
2. To be able to talk to Chanyeol
3. To be closer to Chanyeol
4. To confess to Chanyeol
5. To spend the remaining time even if just 24 hours with Chanyeol

 

Chanyeol no starts to talk to me.

 

WOW. Chanyeol is really handsome especially when he smiles. Why can’t he do that more often?

 

Chanyeol just asked me to be his partner. Hopefully, he asks to marry me too (LOL)

 

Today, I collapsed again. Kyungsoo knows it already. I feel bad, we lied to Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol asked me out. Should I go or not?

 

 

HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS. HE LOVES ME TOO. BUT I CAN’T. I CAN’T BE SELFISH

 

 

I have always wanted him but we can’t be together

 

 

I love him too much I can't let him go

 

 

I am so selfish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol looks down too which Kyungsoo talks first “Chanyeol is so hard-headed Baek. I told him to have fun but he always ends up saying no, he always stays at his office just like Jongin. He has never entertains anyone. He even says he’s married and his husband would kill him when he gets home. He’s going crazy, Baek.”

 

Chanyeol retreats back. “I am married, Kyungsoo, in fact, you’re talking to my husband right now.”

 

Kyungsoo could only roll his eyes. He knows Chanyeol loves Baekhyun so much that he still can’t move on after so many years. He understands that. But he wants Chanyeol to be happy too.

 

Kyungsoo left an hour leaving Chanyeol and Mongryeong together alone with Baekhyun.

 

“Baek, I bought with me the letter you wanted me to read before, right after you died. I actually never really read it, because I was so broken to just read it with you.” Chanyeol opens the letter. After today, he would let him go. He would let go all of his feelings, all his heartaches. He would finally let go Baekhyun, his husband. It won’t be easy. It will never and will always be easy but Chanyeol would try his best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Chanyeol,

 

By the time you read this, it means I never made it. It means I really left you. I am so sorry, I disappoint you. I have wanted to live longer because I want to be with you. I always want to be together with you for a long long time. But I was too stupid to do the things I could have made and I am so sorry. You must have read my journal right? You must have seen how crazy I am for you, right? Hehe…you saw the list I wanted to do with you. I really am happy that I was able to do all of those. I never even knew that we could reach at this point, that we would both end up marrying each other. I even reprimanded myself and again, I am so sorry for being so selfish,Yeol. I married you even when I know I wouldn’t be able to live longer. I couldn’t give you the family we wanted, you always wanted. It was so selfish of me to let you be mine at the very first place.

Now, Chanyeol, can you do me a favor? I want you to let me go. I want you to find someone else. Someone who could love you ‘till the rest of his life. Someone who could love you the way you are deserved to be loved. Let me go, but promise me, Yeol, promise me, you won’t forget me, you won’t forget us. And when time comes, I will welcome you with open arms.

 

For the last time, I love you, Chanyeol. I love you, Baby.

 

Until we meet again.

 

Love,

Baekhyun.