“No ing way, Jiyong.” Seungri said seriously, dropping the f-bomb while getting rid of the “hyung” suffix with it.

Jiyong let out an honest-to-goodness whine and tugged Seungri’s shirt, shuffling closer to him. “Come on, maknae! Please? I’ll never ask another favor from you ever again---”

“Why would I even agree to this?!” Seungri asked incredulously. “Also, why the heck do you need me to do this anyway?”

Jiyong sighed. “My mom’s been bugging me about getting into a relationship. She thinks I spend way too much time working—”

“--- you do,” Seungri interrupted. “You know, you literally have no other friends other than TOP-hyung, Youngbae-hyung, and Daesung-hyung—"

Jiyong narrowed his eyes. “Can you stop interrupting? I thought you wanted to know why I need you to pretend to be my… boyfriend.” Jiyong shuddered at the thought of being in a relationship with his maknae.

“Hey!” Seungri didn’t miss the shudder and gave Jiyong’s arm a punch. “Is being my boyfriend that disgusting?” The blond pouted.  “Great job convincing me, hyung.”

“So sensitive,” Jiyong teased.

Seungri stuck his tongue out and started swatting Jiyong’s arm.

“Stop it,” Jiyong growled, grabbing Seungri’s hand. Fleetingly, Jiyong thought – maknae’s hands are soft. He blinked. Where the did that come from?

Seungri turned a little pink and pulled his hand away. “Anyway. Continue.”

Jiyong cleared his throat, dropping his hand to his lap. “As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, mom thinks I’m a workaholic who has no friends so she wants me to go to a blind date with this childhood friend of mine—”

“You’re talking about Kiko, aren’t you?”

Jiyong was taken aback. “…how do you know?”

“Hyung,” Seungri gave Jiyong a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Your last demo was filled with songs about unrequited love. I guessed as much.” The maknae grinned. “Also, you talk a lot when you’re drunk off your .”

“The hell.” Jiyong muttered. I need to stop drinking with Seungri. He retains too much information.

“So long story short,” Seungri said, bringing a halt to Jiyong’s thoughts, “You want your mom off your back so you want to bring home a boyfriend?”

Jiyong nodded. “Hole in one, maknae-ah. Maybe what they said about blonds isn’t true after all.”

Seungri ruffled his light locks with a pout. “I resent that. I’m a smart blond.”

“You are,” Jiyong said, without sarcasm. Seungri went quiet.

“So.” Jiyong started. “Are you going to do it? My mom wants to meet you during our annual reunion.”

Seungri sighed. “Do I have a choice? You will most likely annoy me until I agree anyway.” Seungri stood up and stretched, his top stretching and showing a sliver of his abs. “You owe me for this, hyung.”

Jiyong’s eyes were glued to the strip of skin above Seungri’s pants. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. I owe you.”

“When do we see your parents?” Seungri asked, picking up his phone from the side table and checking for messages.

Jiyong’s grin turned evil. “Better get packing, Seungri-ah.”

“Why?” Seungri asked, typing a reply to his sister. She