Mina, 13 February 2004

Today was the finals of the national high school baseball tournament. This is the day that Jinyoung has been preparing for, because a lot of coaches from top universities will be there and they will be scouting for the best players.

A couple of months ago, I received a letter from Seoul National University that I had been accepted in there for their Medical Program. Both my parents were delighted by the news, however Jinyoung was a little bit worried because his grades weren’t high enough for him to enter SNU. But I told Jinyoung that he can get a scholarship to any top universities in Seoul if he does well in the baseball tournament. He is a talented baseball player and with my help in his studies, I know that he’ll make it to SNU too.

That afternoon, I was putting the banner I made for Jinyoung inside my bag, when my father suddenly came inside my room.

“Mina, put on a dress and come with me.” My dad said as he looked inside my wardrobe.

“Why dad? I have to go somewhere. It’s the baseball tournament finals.”

“Darling, I want you to meet one of my colleague, Doctor Kang. He is one of the top thoracic surgeon in the States, and he along with his son, has come to visit here.” My dad took out a dress and gave it to me. “Hurry up, they’re already at a café nearby.”

“But dad, I really need to go in this game.” I tried to explain to him. “Jinyoung will be the starting pitcher and I want to watch.”

“What good will it do to you to watch Jinyoung throw balls? Besides, it’s time for you to grow up and find good people to associate yourself with.”

“But dad-”

“Enough with this conversation. I’ll be waiting in the car and I expect you to be there in five minutes.” He said as he left my room.

My dad drove us to the nearest café. I was so upset that he didn’t let me go to watch Jinyoung’s match just to accompany him in some business meeting. As a sign of protest, I decided not to speak and maintain a cold demeanour throughout the meeting. When we came inside the café, my father and I were greeted warmly by Doctor Kang. Beside him, a young man with sharp eyes bowed to us.

“How are you doing?” My father shook the doctor’s hand.

“Fantastic! I’ve missed Korea so much.” Doctor Kang was smiling from ear to ear. “Is that your daughter?”

“Yes, this is Mina.”

“She’s beautiful. Nice to meet you.” The doctor extended his hands to me which I accepted. “This is my son, Young K.”

“Please call me, Brian.” The boy with sharp eyes said in English and he offered his hand for me to shake and I did.

As I’ve expected, there was nothing for me to do but listen to my father and doctor Kang talk about business, politics and medical school. As I drink my coffee, Brian secretly passed me a folded tissue paper. I opened it and read “better than sleeping pills, huh?” I unconsciously smiled because I thought it was funny that he was feeling the same, however, I remembered that I’m on protest so once again I returned to my cold demeanour.

“So, have you received Mina’s examination results yet?” Doctor Kang mentioned my name out of the blue.

“Oh yes, but we haven’t talk about it yet.” My father looked at me. “Sweetie, remember the exam I asked you to take? Well, I received a letter from Harvard saying that you’ve passed and have a slot in their medical school.”

For a moment I froze, I can’t believe that I got accepted to Harvard! A month ago, my family went to the States to accompany my dad at a convention. He has been asking me to take the exam for months so I did. Though, I never expected myself to pass.

“That’s great, I’ve also started my business degree in Harvard last fall. I’m excited to see you around campus.” Brian smiled at me.

“I-I…” I didn’t know what to say because I was so surprised of the news.

“After Mina’s graduation my family will move back in the United States. My son has already gone ahead in Boston and are expecting us in summer.” My father said and I looked at him. I never knew my family have plans of moving back to the United States. Why do I feel like they’re making plans without me?

After the horrible meeting, I went straight home. I felt so angry that my family are making plans without me knowing. I laid in my bed and buried my face on my pillow. I was so stressed that I cried. I hate that my family wants to move back to the United States. I was so frustrated that I did not notice that I cried myself to sleep.

Later that night, I was woken up by sudden noises coming from the window. I tried to shrug it off but the noises coming from the window didn’t stop. So I stood up and looked out and saw that it was Jinyoung. He was throwing pebbles to my window and when he saw that he got my attention, he waved with both his hands and mouthed for me to come down.

I put on my coat and carefully went out of the house because my parents were already asleep. When I got out of our gate, Jinyoung was waving a medal at me.

“What are you doing here? It’s already pass ten.” I said softly at him ignoring the medal.

“I was looking for you the whole afternoon. By the way, we won! Look who's MVP?” He smiled boastfully at me.

“Okay.” I nodded at him before turning around to go back inside the house.

“Hey, hold up!” He tightly hold my arm and pulled me close to him. He was still wearing his varsity jacket and he smelled like a mixture of sweat and barbeque.

“Where have you been?” I pulled myself away from him.

“I went out on a date with Seolhyun noona at a Samgyupsal restaurant. She treated me. I was even surprised myself. I just walked her home before coming here.”

For a second it felt like I was hit by a cold bucket of ice. I can’t believe what I just heard. Jinyoung went out of a date with Seolhyun?! I know that I should be happy for my best friend because he just won his tournament and he has gone out with the girl of his dreams. However, I felt a heavy pain inside my chest and it just worsen my mood.

“Listen…” He took both my hands and pulled me closer to him again. “After the game, the SNU baseball coach just asked me to join their team!”

Again, I was startled so I stood there for a moment just looking at him.

“Isn’t it great?! We’ll be going to SNU together.” Jinyoung said and I could see that he was so happy but I couldn’t feel the same for him right now.

“Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating too? We’re going to SNU!” He looked at me waiting for my response and when he realized that I wasn’t feeling the same he looked closer at my face. “Okay, am I missing something? Is there something wrong? Did you cry earlier?” He asked as he noticed how puffy my eyes were.

“I don’t think that I will be joining you at SNU after all.” I took my hands away from him and looked down to avoid his gaze. “My family is moving back to the States.”

We just stood there with an eerie silence for a long time but then Jinyoung said something.

“T-that’s great, isn’t it?” He said with a straight face.

To be honest, I was completely shocked by what he said. I looked straight into him to make sure that he was just joking, but he was not. I can’t believe how easy it was for him to accept the situation. I was expecting for him to be upset and that he would help me think of a way on how I can convince my parents to stay and study here with him. Instead, he was just cool about it.

“I guess we just have to work on our good byes now, right?” He added before scratching the back of his head. He waited for me to say something but then he realized that I have nothing more to say, so he just turned around and started to walk away from me.

It was really heart breaking, to see how easy it was for him to walk away from me. He was not just my best friend but he was also my first love. Somehow, after all this time, I was hoping that he would feel the same too. But I guess it’s not like what I hoped for. Because I’ll never be Seolhyun eonnie. And that in his eyes I’m just his friend, and that I was just another ordinary girl.

Jinyoung, 22 February 2004

The night when Mina told me that she won’t be joining me in SNU made my heart drop. I can’t explain the sadness that I felt inside my chest. I don’t know what to say nor could I bring myself to ask her how she was feeling because I was not okay myself. I didn’t know what to do so I just turned my back and walked away from her. On my way home, I did my best not let my tears fall from my eyes. I’m glad that I walked away from her because I would never want her to see me crying.

I guess what I did upset her. When we returned to school, she did her best to avoid me. I did not try to approach or talk to her either. I thought it was better to wait things out and let it cool down. I concentrated on my studies to pass my exams. In addition, I started hanging out more with my baseball friends and even took out Seolhyun noona on dates. However, it was not as fun as I was with Mina.

Even though Mina and I aren’t officially talking, I still kept a close watch on her. In fact I would still follow her on the way to school and back home. Of course, I kept a good distance so she wouldn’t notice me. I didn’t want to be the first one to apologize and ask for us to make up. However, it breaks my heart to see her walking and eating alone. Knowing that she was still a shy and anti-social girl breaks my heart and makes me want to talk to her again. But I have to stay strong and hold on to my pride.

I must be honest though. There were also good things that came from distancing myself from Mina. I can now watch her from afar - like a moving piece of art. I’ve been with her for years now but she still never fail to take my breath away. The way she walks elegantly, the way she puffs her cheeks whenever she’s confuse, or the way her perfectly long hair falls from her back - it was all nice to see. Watching her from a distance makes you realize how effortlessly beautiful she was and that everything about her shined.

I thought that after a few days Mina would approach me and ask for us to friends again. I'm hoping that we could spend the remaining days before graduation together, hanging out like how we always do. But she was steadfast. She never showed any sign of concern about me. It felt like we were never even friends. I wanted to call her but then again my pride was getting in the way. I thought that maybe on our graduation Mina will come to me. But to my surprised it never happened.

On our graduation day, I kept on looking over her. I really wanted to apologize to her so after her valedictory speech, I tried to approach her and give her the flowers that I bought. But she was busy with her family and talking to a few faculty that I missed my chance. I decided to give the flowers to Seolhyun noona instead, and went home right away after the ceremony.

That night, I became so worried so I called Mina’s mom and asked how her daughter was. Mrs Myoui said that she was looking for me at the graduation ceremony and wanted me to come and have dinner with them because they will be leaving for the States tomorrow morning. I was shocked and distraught to hear the news. I can’t believe Mina wanted to leave without talking to me! I was restless the whole night that I didn’t sleep.

The following morning, I immediately got ready and left home early to go to the airport. I waited and looked around for the Myoui family when I felt someone pat my back.

“Jinyoung!” I turned around and saw Mrs Myoui. “What are you doing here? By the way, I was looking for you at the ceremony yesterday.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come near you. I thought you were busy.” I explained while I look behind her.

“I see. If you’re looking for Mina, she’s sitting there.” She pointed at the chair at the waiting area. “Please talk to her. I’ll just buy some snacks for us”

I walked slowly towards Mina’s direction. She was wearing her headphones and reading a manga book.

“Uh...” I cleared my throat. “Do you mind if I sit here?” I pointed at the seat next to hers.

“N-no.” She was surprised to see me there, standing in front of her. I sat beside her for a few awkward minutes, both of us not talking or even looking at each other.

“So, uh, today’s the day.” I broke the silence. “It’s really fast.”

“Yeah.” She replied almost inaudibly.

I brushed my hand through my hair and looked at her. “Don’t you think you’re being unfair? Leaving without saying goodbye.” I said direct to the point.

She hesitated for a moment before replying, “I just don’t know how to say goodbye. I thought that it was the best to detach myself from you and that will make it easier for us to part ways.” She said without taking a glance at me. I can still feel that that she’s distancing herself from me.

“Well, it hurt my feelings. I can’t believe that you would let things end up like this.” My voice was starting to waver and in all honesty when I found out that today was the day they were leaving, I wanted to cry. “It felt like I was unimportant to you, like how it was easy for you to ignore me. Maybe it will also easy for you to forget about me.”

“You know that’s not true!” She exclaimed and finally stared back at me.

“I guess so, because you’re really important to me.” I took a deep breath. “Remember, I’m your best friend. And that I’ll always be here for you. Whether you’re feeling happy or whether you’re feeling sad; whether you made new friends or found someone you love; whether you’re on top of the world or you’re on the lowest point, I’ll be here to listen to you. Because no matter what happens, wherever you are or who you're with, I’ll always stay guard of you – even your dreams.”

I put my hand inside my pocket and pulled out a button. “I wanted to give you this. It’s not much but uhm, it’s the second button of my school uniform.”

Mina took the button from my hand and lowered down her head. Suddenly, I can hear soft cries coming from her.

“I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay here” She mumbled.

I wish you would.  I said inside my brain. I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud because I didn’t want to add stress to her.

Instead, I decided to put my arms around her and she rested her head on my shoulders. We stayed like that for a few minutes until it says that it’s time for them to leave. I walked and helped them with their bags to the gate. After they boarded the airplane, I stood and watch the big thing fly up to the sky. There were no clouds, and the weather was nice but I can feel a storm building up inside my heart.

_______________________

Author's note:

Phew! That was a long chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter I'll introduce new characters. Please stay tune and comment down. I would highly appreciate it :)