“Alex? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” Addison’s mother asked me with a worried tone.

Oh I wish my mothers do that to me too.

“Grandpa couldn’t get home today, Mrs. Hayes. He stayed at his friend’s house. It’s Saturday, though.” I lied. Well, not exactly. Grandpa is really in his friend’s house tonight.

“oh that silly old man. Well, come in. Addison is upstairs.” Mrs. Hayes let me in with a smile. I smile back at her.

“thank you, Mrs. Hayes.”

I walk towards Addison’s room then I open the door and saw Addison laying on her bed. Upside down.

This is why she’s my bestfriend. She’s so weird.

“what in the world are you doing?” I asked her as I enter her room and close the door behind me.

Addison open her eyes and look up to me then she get up to sit on her bed. This time, properly. 

“trying to find a better words for your stone head.” She snicker and making me sighing so long and hard. Then I’m laying down on her bed while Addison still looking at me. 

“your words not going to affect me whatsoever. I just hate them.” I said while closing my eyes.

“tell me, why do you hate them?”

I stay silent and she get up from her bed to lock her door. Nobody knows about my family situation except for her. We become best friends since we were in kindergarten. She approached me when I was sitting alone on the park bench while looking at my classmates playing on the playground. At that time, I was trying to be good because I missed my mothers so much. 

“you don’t really hate them, Alex. Your heart wants your mothers so much. But your brain and your stupid big ego won’t let your heart took control over you.”

“have you ever experience it before?”

“no.”

“then you don’t know how I feel.”

She sigh and sit down on the other side of her bed.

“yes. I didn’t know how you feel. Because my mother is always with me. But, I do feel something from you. When you looked at my mother, it was like, you’re jealous with me. I could feel that Alex. You’re longing for them to be here. To be with you.”

I don’t say anything and just let my head cooling down after what happened earlier. I don’t want to tell Addison about this because if I do, she will scold me from here to weekends. And it’s annoying because she talks too much and I don’t want to add another headache into my brain. 

“by the way, why did you sent me the picture of me and Tiffany?” I asked Addison.

“you called your parents by their names??” she asked in a surprise tone and I nod my head as the answer.

“dude! You’re too much.” She said while shaking her head in disbelieve. 

“they don’t deserve to be called that by me.”

“they’re humans too, idiot! They’re not perfect. They made mistakes. I can’t believe you’re so stupid. And idiot too.” Addison said while getting up from the bed and walk to her computer then she turn on the computer. Not before smacking my head. “here. Look at this.”

“if you want to show me about them and their works, no thank you.” I said, uninterested. 

“just get in here. It’s important to you.” Addison said and I growl. “Alex get in here now.” Addison shouted and that makes me get up from the bed and walk to where she is.

Addison starts to open some gossip website on the internet and she typed ‘Girls’ Generation’ and my mothers picture are showing up in every links. She then click one of the picture of Tiffany in the airport yesterday. And there are a lot of picture of her walking behind me. They blurred out my face though, so I’m safe. 

“there.” she said as she lean back to the chair.

“yeah, so? What’s wrong with that?” I asked her.

“read the caption, slow brain.” She said while pointing out at the caption. I read the caption carefully and my eyes open so wide that I feel like it’s going out of its pocket pretty soon.

“see?” she told me.

“she said that?” I asked no one. And Addison nods her head in slow.

“I told you.”

“wait. Was she really?” I asked Addison with doubt. 

“well, let’s find out.” She then starts to type something on her keyboard. Then, a video comes out and there are my mothers. The two of them, talking in alien language.

“what they said?” she asked me. 

“why the hell I know!!” I yelled in protest. 

“okay. Gee. Doesn’t have to scream.” Addison said while covering her ears and shakes her head.

Then Addison click to one of the video and it has English subtitle on it.

Well, apparently, they told the public that they’re married to each other and have a daughter together. I looked at the date of the video and it was 4 days ago. The whole fandom went crazy. Some of them supported my mothers from a long time ago. Some were just condemned them and said that they were sinned. 

They have to face that and face me too at the same time?

I’m such a bad daughter, am I?

“well, now you know their sacrifice for you, Alex.” Addison said while getting up form the chair and walking back to her bed.

I’m just watching the video and see mommy’s eyes. She was smiling but it was a sad smile. I felt guilt growing all over my body. 

But no. 

They still abandoned me for 10 years. 

No.

I keep repeating the video over and over again. I read the subtitle and somehow, I felt relieve. They accepted me. They told the whole world about my existence.  

Then I see mom’s eyes. Her eyes had no soul on it. It was like she was there, but her mind were somewhere else. 

I’m crying in silence. Looking at my parents hurting, is kind of hurting too. Maybe, this time I will try to more civil around my parents. Because they granted what I want from them. To be acknowledge as their daughter. 

Maybe.

“still think your parents didn’t love you?” Addison asked as I lay down beside her. “I think you should apologise to them now.” She said to me again.

I just stayed silent and closed my eyes. I’m so tired today. I need my sleep to calming down whatever it is in my heart..

“later. I want to go to sleep.” I said as I turn to my right and back facing Addison.

“you and your stubborn head.” Addison said lowly. Soon after, I heard her light snored.

It’s already 3 am and I still can’t sleep. I’m still thinking about my mothers and what they did before they came home. Should I apologise to them? But, they’re the one who abandoned me. If I apologise, it means, I’m the wrong one here. But, if I don’t, they will be sad.

Urrgghh…

I have to stop this and try to sleep instead. And maybe in the morning, I will have the answer. But boy, it’s so hard to fall asleep. I’m closing my eyes, but my mind is in the video that I just watched. I can’t stop thinking about it and I keep thinking about whether I apologise or not. 

And eventually, I fell asleep.

--

The next morning, I wake up and Addison isn’t on her side of the bed. I take out my phone from my pocket and see a lot of missed calls and