"A date?"

"Of course! Why else would he ask you to hang out on a weekend?"

"Umm...but don't friends hang out all the time?" I asked.

"Sure, but alone? Without a group? Come on, it's totally a date!" 

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes at my overly-excited friend.

"So what are you going to wear? Isn't he picking you up in like two hours?"

"So? Probably just shorts and a tank top."

"You're going out with your what, three-year long crush and you aren't even freaking out."

"That's because I know it's never gonna happen."

"See, this is why it might not. You have to believe in yourself before anyone does. Have a little hope, won't you?" She sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just going to the mall, it's nothing big."

"You still don't get it." She sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing, never mind. Go get dressed."

"Fine."

To say that I wasn't looking forward to hanging out with him would be a lie. To say that I was ecstatic would be an understatement. I don't even understand it myself. Within the past years, I've been loving him secretly. He's had all kinds of girls come and go, hurting me with every single one. I just smile through it all. I could never do anything to endanger our friendship. I would never give it up. Being close to him is all I want. No matter if I'm behind or beside him, just being near him is all I could ever ask for. I lie to my friends and put on a cold front because I'm simply afraid to say it all out loud. It's too much. I'll most likely end up crying. Three years worth of holding the truth in. Three years of getting hurt for the same reason. Three years of useless hope and expectations. He doesn't need to know. It's not his business. 

"You ready?" She asked me.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Get outta here." She laughed as I got in his car.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I can't wait to show you all the shops around here."

"Me too." I smiled.

We arrived and walked into the small town mall. He held my hand gently as we walked side by side. I was flustered, but obviously didn't show it or question it. I was scared that it would end all too soon. The moment would end too soon. 

"Woah~ there's so many places!" I exclaimed happily.

"I know." He smiled.

We walked around the mall for some time, maybe about an hour or two. We walked into every store, making sure to not miss even one. Everywhere we went, the people would look at us with envy, little do they know the actual truth. The sunlight was slowly getting dimmer and dimmer as we were starting to talk about dinner plans. 

"I have to go do my hair real quick, where's the restroom?"

"It's over here." He chuckled, pointing in the direction.

"Thanks, I'll be right back."

I walked into the restroom and stood in front of one of the mirrors, tying up my hair to get it out of my face. Just as I was about to walk out, I was (rudely) stopped by one of my classmates. One of the very people that I can't stand. Oh god, why?

"Oh? What are you doing here?"

"Are you really asking me that in a restroom?" I retorted.

"I heard that you're here with _________, is that true?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Don't you know that he's the school eye candy?"

"And? Hurry up and get your point across, he's waiting for me."

"Oh, is he? Well, then I might as well show you my point, shouldn't I?" She turned.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I rapidly followed her.

"The fact that he will never like you back,"

"How do you-"

"I know it all. He will never like you nor has he ever even thought about dating you. Don't you see, you're just his toy."

"I know that. I know that very well."

"Then why don't you leave him alone instead of being a burden?"

"Because I can n-"

"You're pathetic," She glared. "Don't you know he's also a player? Not even a player, but the player."

"What?"

"He's notorious for breaking hearts."

"But that doesn-"

"Really? Just watch." She smirked and pushed past me.

I was stunned to say the least. I staggered back a few steps, processing what just happened. The tears were threatening to fall but I refused to let any fall. No, today is supposed to be a good day. I clenched my fists in an effort to control myself. I slowly walked out and looked up to hear my heart breaking. At that very moment, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Her hands were on his shoulders, softly holding them while her lips were on his. 

I can't handle any more of this. I went out to his car and sat down right beside it, breaking down. Three years worth of pain came pouring out. Tear after tear. I cried and cried until I was exhausted. The sun set, taking the pieces of my heart with it. I took out my phone to call my friend when I saw that he had called me ten times. Not only that, but he also texted me. I was freaking out. Should I call him? I mean, I'm exhausted and he is my ride home-

"Were you here the whole time?" He panted.

"W-wh-"

"Why didn't you answer any of my calls? You had me worried to death! What were you thinking?"

"You seemed busy."

"Huh?"

"You were busy with someone else."

"Eh? What are you talking about, I was never-"

"Yes, you were! You were kissing her!" The tears were back and I couldn't stop them.

"W-what, no, no, she grabbed me," He knelt down in front of me. "I don't even like her, you have to believe me."

"Why should I?"

"Why are you crying?"

"-N-No reason." I sniffled, trying to stop.

"Tell me."

I didn't respond.

"Tell me now."

"Why else do you think I would be upset if you were kissing someone else?"

"Wait a minute, do you like me?"

"Huh," I chuckled. "I have been for the past three years. I guess after everything I've been through, seeing you kiss her........ I guess I couldn't handle it anymore." 

The tension between us was almost unbearable. There was only silence in the atmosphere. 

"Are you stupid?"

"What." I snapped my head up to lock eyes with him.

"You know what, never mind. Get in the car." He sighed, obviously frustrated.

"Wh-"

"Get in the car." He now demanded.

Slightly taken aback and also slightly , I did as told. The whole car ride was a tension filled silence. I didn't speak, I didn't even ask where we were going. I was afraid that he would snap. Should I not have told him anything? Is he mad? What would he be mad about? It's not like I insulted him. We eventually arrived at his place and I went to sit down in the kitchen as he rushed into his bedroom. No words are spoken. I felt terrible. First, getting attacked by some dumb girl and now this. My heart physically hurt. I went outside and sat there in the front curb. It was a clear, starry night sky with a slight breeze. I sat hugging my knees and looked up at the sky, making sure to match my breathing with the wind, calming myself down. 

"What are you doing out here?" He stood behind me.

"What does it look like I'm doing? If you were gonna react like that, why didn't you just take me home?"

"What? How did I react to what?"

"Are you being serious with me right now? I wish I never fell for you! I can never tell if you're being serious or messing with my mind and my heart," The tears were forming again, but I didn't try to hide them this time. I'm just done. "You're just acting like nothing ever happened. I hate that you have so much control over me. I hate the fact that you're the only person I see. I hate you."

"Woah, woah, woah, hey. I'm sorry, don't cry." He instinctively knelt down to hold me.

"Don't touch me, get away!" I pushed.

"__________, don't do this."

"What the hell am I doing? Should I go back to being stupid and like you from a distance again? Is that what you want? You avoid the subject and don't even tell me-"

Suddenly, everything stopped. The tears stopped falling. I stopped talking. The stars stopped twinkling. The world stopped spinning. He held the back of my head, making me naturally look up. His lips were on mine and I couldn't understand what was happening or why it was happening or even how. He slowly pulled away as I stared straight into his eyes, completely in a daze, trying to process the situation. 

"If you can stop yelling at me, I can explain-"

"No.......I-I can't do this right now." I tried to run to the restroom in the house.

"_________, stop!" He was right after me. 

He enveloped me into his arms, encouraging me to lean my head on his chest with his hand calmly my hair. I couldn't resist it any longer and complied. 

"Just listen to me, please," His voice softened. "I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, I had no idea. I've liked you for a long time, I didn't think you would ever like me back so I tried dating people to get over you. I know, it's a terrible thing to do, it didn't even make me feel good. I wanted you the whole time. I'm sorry for making you cry." 

"Y-you're a bastard." I sniffled.

"I know." He said, making me smile.

"So now what, what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Please give me a chance."

"Hm? To do what?"

"To love you officially."