A/N #1

God I want to smack my head for this chapter, but really, I just had no idea how to continue the story… This chapter is not really a continuation from the previous chapter, I know, but I just had to let this go out from my head.

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“I believe you know how to control your members after this,” said the CEO, eyes staring at Hana who stood in front of him.

Hana nodded automatically, the respond she’s been doing the past 15 minutes, and for the past two years, “Yes, sajangnim.”

“Tell them what they should do and don’t. I don’t want any of this happen again in the future.”

“I understand.” She nodded again.

The CEO gestured she can leave. Hana nodded for the last time and bowed, and left the room.

She sighed as she walked in the hallway. Well, nothing she didn’t expect before. She knew exactly why the CEO called to meet her as soon as possible, not too long after she found the article when they were on their way back from the TV station. She’s used to listen whatever nagging he made. Nothing’s new. She tried not to let it gotten way too deep in her head. It’s fine, she thought, you’ll be fine.

She greeted some of the staff of her way, smiled when they cheered her up with “fighting!!” and “good luck with the performance tomorrow!”. She returned the gesture with a bow and thanked them.

She let her foot brought her to the practice room, trying to control her brain from thinking unnecessary thought. I have to focus with the practice, she thought, just focus with the practice.

“Unnie?”

Her hand stopped at the doorknob, as she turned to see Nayoung standing in the hallway not too far from their practice room. “Nayoung? What are you doing?”

Nayoung looked somehow sad and stressed. She bit her lips before saying, “I’m sorry.”

She knows about the article, Hana thought. Immediately cursing post inside her head. “It’s nothing, Nayoung-ah.”

“It is, Unnie, if sajangnim even had to meet you.”

Hana cursed again inside her head, directed to the CEO who had to call her in the middle of the practice. She remembered the looks from her members when one of the managers appeared in the door and called her name. Why he couldn’t wait until they all back to the dorm?

“It’s fine, really,” Hana walked to where Nayoung standing, looking all hopeless and about to cry, her hand immediately hugged the tall girl. “You shouldn’t think about it, we only need to focus with our performance and–”

“It’s my fault, Unnie, how can I just shrugged it off?”

“It’s not a mistake to being honest, Nayoung-ah,” Hana said softly, as Nayoung rested her head in Hana’s shoulder. “It’s fine to be disappointed, mad, or sad. We are human.”

 “But we all are also idol and I shouldn’t let my face showing my true feeling,” Nayoung said in her shoulder and Hana let out another internal curse to whoever or whatever made the rule in their world about being kpop idol. She didn’t really sure what Nayoung did wrong or why it bothered some people, include their CEO, but her opinion won’t matter anyway. They never did.

“Oh the hell with that,” she slipped the curse out loud, resulting a suprise look from Nayoung. The leader never cursed before. Hana grabbed Nayoung’s shoulder and said, “Listen, Kim Nayoung, the only thing we need to focus right now is about our performance. You don’t let those negativity in the world to get stuck in your head, got it?”

Nayoung still looked at her with wide eyes, surprised at the sudden strong appearance of her leader. She almost sure she saw fire in Hana’s eyes. She gulp at the sight.

Actually, the eyes soften in the next second. “One of your charms are your smile, Nayoung-ah, but it’s fine to feeling down sometimes. You don’t have to act happy all the time, even on the screen.”

“Even if I made trouble with that?”

“Your honesty isn’t a bad thing and I don’t want you to lose that,” said Hana, her hands cupped Nayoung’s cheeks. “You did nothing wrong, you hear me? Those people who posted the comments are the wrong one. We’ve talked about this thousand times.”

Slowly, the tall vocalist nodded. Her round eyes got teary in second and Hana pulled her into a hug, letting Nayoung cried in her shoulder. Every whimpers sent Hana’s heart breaks into million pieces. Again, she cursed in her head.

It took a while for Nayoung to stopped crying. Her eyes were red and Nayoung insisted with an embarrassed whine to go to the toilet first to wash her face before back to the practice room.

“You okay with continuing the practice?” Hana said as leaned on the wall, watching Nayoung wiped her face.

Nayoung looked at her and nodded. “I promise I’ll do better after this.”

Her smile already back to her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Oh whoever dare to erase that smile with a ing comment. Well, comments.

She pinched that round cheeks with both hands. “You are already doing well, Kim Nayoung, and I don’t want you to think otherwise,” she said, hands playing with Nayoung’s cheeks, feeling something desperate in her heart to bring Nayoung’s smile back.

“You remember the lyrics in our song?” Hana asked suddenly, and Nayoung raised an eyebrow in confused. The older girl cleared and singing, “당당하게, 자신 있게, 오늘은 좀 더 과감해도 좋아~”

The random singing and dance actually success making Nayoung laughed out loud. Hearing the laughs, Hana grinned proudly.

“So yeah, just like our song, be bold, be confident, don’t let the world outside crush us. You got me, Kim Nayoung?”

Nayoung nodded with a smile. This strong appearance of her leader rarely came out, hidden under the gentle and princess-like side of Shin Bora. She secretly likes it, it made Hana looks cooler. “Thank you, Unnie.”

Hana felt her heart at ease seeing that wide smile. The smile she loves the most. The sight she treasured a lot.

She would do anything to keep that smile stay on Nayoung’s face.

They walked back to the practice room, hand in hand, and Hana is glad that Nayoung didn’t look sad anymore. Well, at least for now.

The members stopped the practice when they back to the practice room.

“Everything’s okay, Unnie?” Soyee asked. The members gathered around them, looking worried and Hana didn’t like it.

So she nodded and gave them a smile. “He only talked about our performance, and so far he likes it.”

She didn’t lie. They really talked about reviewing the comeback stage and the CEO didn’t really have anything to complain about it. What they talked about after that, they don’t need to know. She doesn’t even want to talk about it.

They looked at her skeptically, but didn’t say anything.

“Well, should we continue the practice, Unnie?” Hyeyeon said.

“Actually,” Hana said, glancing at the clock on the wall. It’s almost midnight. “I’m thinking about ditching the practice for once.”

“What?!”

They stared at her with wide eyes and jaw dropped, almost comically. Shin Hana never ditch the practice.

Mimi grabbed her shoulder and shaking her whole body violently, looked frighten. “Who are you and what did you do to Shin Bora?! Bring her back!!”

Hana rolled eyes as she get off from Mimi. “Do you or do you not want to get out from this room? I’ve been thinking about ice cream for the whole day.”

“Unnie, we have to mastering the dance,” said Haebin, sounded amuse.

“We mastered the dance a long time ago,” Hana waved her hand. “Xiening practically could do the dance break in her sleep.” The only Chinese member blushed as the smile on Hana’s face directed to her.

Mina and Hyeyeon still looking at her with wide eyes, seems scared. “Are you sure, Unnie? Manager unnie won’t be happy about it.”

She gave them an assuring smile. They won’t, but I’ll make sure they won’t dare to do anything to you. “They already at home. No one gonna see us. Come on, get your stuff and get out from here.”

Sejeong grinned widely at them, excited at the idea of going out in the middle of the night. “You heard what Bora Unnie said, guys! Let’s go!!”

Still confused and unsure at the sudden idea of escaping from the practice, they just nodded and grabbed their bag. After making sure the room was clean and tidy, they walked out from the building. The night wind greeted them, making them shivered under their paddling jacket, but happy nonetheless.

“Bora Unnie, are you really sure about this?” Mina asked again. Still didn’t understand what happened to the leader.

“Kang Mina, do you want me to buy you ice cream or going back to the practice room?” Hana answered, almost glaring to the second maknae.

“I won’t say no to ice cream, Unnie,” Mina answered immediately. They laughed at that.

They arrived at the nearest convenience store, and after a lot of consideration and coax from Haebin who against them to buy ice cream at night on winter, they decided to only buy hot drinks.

“We’re going to filming that acapella remix thing tomorrow, Unnie!” said Haebin desperately earlier to Hana, who could only pout at that, but nodded.

As she said earlier, Hana paid all the drinks and they cheered on her.

“I must say, this is nice,” said Sejeong with wide grin as they sat at the bench at the park near the dorm and the agency building. “Too bad we can’t buy ice cream but going out at night like this is cool. We should do this often, Unnie,” she continued as she sipped her hot chocolate.

“We can’t do this often, Sejeong-ah, what if we make her wallet crying?” Soyee sat beside her, grinning widely as she enjoying her own warm milk tea. “But thank you, Unnie. Did sajangnim say something that triggered you to ditch the practice?”

Hana shrugged her shoulder. “I just feel like it,” she said as she sipped her hot tea.

They stayed there, with the drinks and talking and playing around. Enjoying the winter night under the stars.

Hana smiled as she watched the kids running in between the trees, as Nayoung chasing the maknaes who stole her drink. Haebin is in the middle of talk with Mimi, trying to coax the oldest member not to try the new recipe on the kitchen later. Beside them, Sally was talking with Soyee. Hana cringed at the amount of aegyo Sally used but Soyee seemed enjoy it, so Hana let them.

Sejeong took a sit beside her. “Thank you, Unnie.”

“For?”

“You did this for Nayoung Unnie, didn’t you?” Sejeong said, as she watched the said girl whined at the laughing maknaes between the trees. “She was a bit stress at the practice earlier, and you should’ve seen her face when manager unnie called you.”

Hana nodded. She saw it too. “Well, she looks fine right now.” Uhm, not really, Hana thought as she smiled when Nayoung furiously ran to Mina again.

“All thanks to you,” Sejeong rested her head on Hana’s shoulder.

“It’s not something you should thanked me,” Hana said. “How about you, Sejeong-ah?”

“What about me?”

“Are you tired?”

For some reason, Hana knows Sejeong smiled in her shoulder, although she didn’t see her face. Not that idol smile she often did for the camera. The real Sejeong’s smile.

Sejeong can be so hyper and energetic all day long, practicing her dance and sing until she collapsed on the floor. She talks a lot too, about the filming she just did, about the people she met (and flirted), about new song and dance, sharing tips and advices, almost about everything.

The only thing she rarely talk is when she’s feeling down.

Hana knows she read the comments in secret, hidden under the curtain around her bunk. And then she would act as if the comments didn’t bother her and just laughed at it.

She rarely talks about her feeling, but it doesn’t always means she’s okay.

“I survived last year till now, Unnie. This is nothing I can handle,” Sejeong said.

“Of course,” Hana said as she put her hand in Sejeong’s shoulder, pulled her closer, “You are always the strongest between us, and you will always be.” Everyone knows Sejeong has the most physical strength between them, but Hana didn’t talk only about physical strength.

“So are you, Unnie,” Sejeong said, her eyes closed as she snuggled closer to Hana.

Me? Hana raised an eyebrow but Sejeong didn’t say anything else. She wanted to ask but the main vocal actually looked so tired so she let her be. These days, even minutes of sleeping are precious for them. And most of the time, it’s Sejeong who needed it the most between them.

But she figured it would be better for her members sleeping in their bed.

“Sejeong-ah, you can’t sleep here,” she said softly to the younger girl, shaking her shoulder gently. Sejeong let out a whine but she obeyed. They cleaned up a bit and Hana called the three members who still running around them.

On their way back to the dorm, Nayoung pouted as she linked arm with Hana, obviously lost to the maknaes about getting back her drink.

“Do you want to buy new drink?” Hana asked, chuckled at the pout.

“No, I’m fine,” Nayoung said, but still pouting at the second maknae who’s laughing not too far from them. Hana just chuckled again.

As they arrived at the dorm, Hana expected all the members are too tired after the schedules today and she thought they would fight for who will use the bathroom first.

But then, the first thing they touched is the video game.

“Aren’t you all tired?” She asked in disbelief. They’ve been together for years but sometimes she still got surprise with the amount of energy they have.

“We only have like two hours to sleep, it would only give me headache later,” Mimi answered, eyes already focused on the screen in front of her. “Better using those time to play.”

“I won’t lose to you tonight, Unnie,” said Hyeyeon who sat beside Mimi. Eyes on fire, determine to fight.

Hana could only shakes her head as Sejeong and Nayoung sat beside them, already cheering for the two gamers.

“If you guys still have energies,” said Haebin, standing beside Hana with both hands in her waist as she glared at the members, “let’s practice for the acapella remix again.”

They groaned in unison.

Haebin rolled eyes. “Guys, the filming is tomorrow,”

“It’s today,” Mimi said as she pointed at the clock. Already 1 am now. “And we mastered the acapella thing a long time ago. We could do it even in our sleep.”

Hana threw one of the pillows at her same-age members, and they all laughed at that.

After a lot of persuasion (mainly about cooking) from Haebin, Mimi and Hyeyeon finally agreed (with a pout) to delay the game.

(“Listen Mimi Unnie, we practice now and I’ll help you to cook later,” Haebin said, frustrated.

“I don’t need you to help me, I can do it by myself.”

“No! You gonna burn the kitchen again!”

“It’s just one time!”)

They practiced the acapella remix again and again, even tried to filming themselves with camera and keep checking their expression and all.

Hana watched as Nayoung, Haebin, Sejeong, Soyee, and Hyeyeon discussing seriously about the filming for acapella thing later, and the rest of them started bickering who’s gonna use the bathroom first before manager oppa pick them up later. She went to the kitchen, preparing some foods to they bring to the TV station.

It’s okay, she thought, and chuckled to herself at how many times she keep telling those words to herself. She smiled as she listened to the loud voices in the living room. Lively and full with energies, as expected from her members. Yeah, everything will be okay.

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A/N #2

This is a poor excuse, but I actually went hiatus from Twitter and any social media during Chococo until the end of the year, thanks to works. I really have no idea what happened during Chococo, their schedules and everything, and I can’t just backtrack all the tweets… So that’s why I don’t know how to continue the story… I’m really sorry about this.