Chapter 40:Letting go my feeling doesn’t mean giving up

“About Yoongi hyung…” “I read the article. Both of them” muttered Seul as she took a seat on the cold bench. Realizing the distant in her voice, Jungkook knew she was affected by the news despite trying to hide her resentment towards it.

Jungkook expelled a long sigh and kneeled in front of Seul interlacing her cold fingers in his. She stared at him blankly looking empty and lost, “Don’t trust what you read. Hyung is not what they said in those articles. Listen to him, only him” she recoiled, giving his hand a soft squish.

“Where is Yoongi?” her heart was heavy to even say his name out loud as though something trying to cut the strings that she had with him.

“In his studio, I haven’t seen him since lunch, but we will be having a meeting with Bang PD in an hour. Come with me please? Yoongi hyung needs you by his side” Jungkook said sweetly, persuading Seul which confused her.

“Jungkook..why are you here?” instead of responding to the initial question, it came to her realization that Jungkook’s presence was not merely due to the unexpected articles released today.

His lips broke into his usual cute smile lighten up the whole universe “To pick up my favourite girl for my favourite hyung” her bewildered gaze searching his face to see any sign of joke. “Jungkook-ah..I don’t understand” Jungkook held her hands tighter as her gaze followed the younger guy whom took a seat beside her.

“Nuna...” she froze. Her ears seemed to make a fool of her when Seul thought she heard it wrong. Jungkook was really calling her nuna, which gave her a major goosebumps. “You should know this because I will not be able to say it again. I really..really love you. And you are a bad woman for making me fall head over heels for you when you only have your eyes on Yoongi hyung” his faint voice pained her heart.

“I will cherish every moment that we had together deeply in my heart..”

“Jungkook-ie..I..am-“ “Don’t be sorry, it makes me feel awful” he chuckled bitterly. Jungkook enveloped his arms around her shoulder, pulling the girl into a tight embrace. “Thank you for giving me a chance to feel the real love. It is subtle, but I never regret it. This feeling is wonderful, you make me feel good and oddly bad sometimes. I want to keep you close to my heart as a friend. Good friend. Letting go my feeling doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. Us, it is impossible” he finally set a clear line between them. A friend.

Seul was losing her words, and she tried hard not to stammer in between “Ho..w did you find out?”

He shook his head as a small chuckle escaped from his lips “I am a man, nuna. I told you many times before. Trust me when I said a man can read another man’s mind because that is our forte” Seul pursed her lips in confusion.

“I can see it through your eyes, you care for me, but you love hyung. Well, I can say that you’re almost swooned by my action however you couldn’t hide your true feelings. Don’t you realize that?” he continued “That you love Yoongi hyung?”

Did she?

“But- how are you so sure when I am still confused of myself”

“Conform with yourself. Ask your heart, who is inside? Whether it is me or Yoongi hyung…or is it Jin hyung” she gawked in sheer fear. Did he just read her mind? How was it possible for him to bring up Jin in this situation?

He smirked “Surprised? Jin hyung may not know this, but I caught him talking to you one day. So I conclude that, hyung has feelings for you”

“Impossible. He never arises this issue”

“Of course, he won’t, Kim Seokjin that I know always put others above his own happiness. That includes his feelings for you. I thought if hyung can do that, then why not me? Jin hyung is a man with big heart, as soon as he realized our feelings for you, he backed away without uttering any words. His perseverance is something that I admired” again his words hit her hard making her ten times guiltier than before.

If Jin has feelings for her, why didn’t she notice the obvious? Get a grip Ji Seul, you need stop toying innocent’s hearts.

“I am a bad person for playing with your heart. You guys didn’t deserve this”

“Then make up your mind, it has always been Yoongi hyung and you know it” he the strand of her hair from covering her face. “We will be happy if you could make hyung happy” his heart felt lighter now that he had talked to Seul, Jungkook was no longer living under the shadows.

Seul smiled meekly “Can we stay as friend? I don’t want to lose you or anyone. This decision that I am about to make, I am afraid if it cost me to lose this precious friendship” her voice was low and desperate. The only reason why she hadn’t come up with a solution to this confusion was her fear of losing the boys. She didn’t to take a wrong step and ruined everything that they had.

Falling in love is subjective. You can’t really tell when it begins or how to stop it. It is not like she invited these boys to love her more than just a friend, the feelings develop over time and it is something that you can’t stop even if you wish to.

“Yah, of course we are still friends. I am keeping my words to keep you safe even you’re with Yoongi hyung” he tapped the tip of her nose with a small chuckle.

“Don’t you hate me? After what I did?”

“And what exactly did you do for me to despise you? Seul, I am serious about giving up my feelings for you. Do not overthink because I won’t let you” she scrunched her nose, tilting her head at his direction.

She teased, “So it is Seul now? Where is the nuna?” Jungkook cringed hard at the thought of living his life calling her with honorific.

“You are so not making me call you nuna because that sounds cringey” they chuckled at their own silliness, it took over the awkwardness that she felt earlier at least.

“Are you coming with me to the company?”

“Can I not come? I mean- Jungkook in all honesty I trust Yoongi but I need some time alone to get my head together. I promise to check on him tomorrow. Plus, I don’t think my presence there will be helpful. You guys already have enough problems to face, it is better for me to not be there” she chewed her lower lips afraid that Jungkook might misunderstand her request.

The latter nodded in understanding, “You are right. Let us talk to Bang PD first and see the seriousness of this issue. I will let you know how it goes” he smiled.

“Thank you. Please look after Yoongi, he is..you know what I mean” her confidence deflated as the memories of Suga’s struggle resurfaced. She could hold it for a night, just few hours. Seul would meet him the first thing in the morning.

“We will keep our eyes on hyung. Don’t worry. Do you want me to walk you home?”

She shook her head “No thank you. I can take cabs. Just go, you don’t want to miss the important meeting and get in trouble” Seul reached out to his bangs and smiled genuinely. Jungkook pulled the girl into a final hug before bidding his farewell, heading straight to the headquarter in hurry.

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The talk with Bang PD and the rest of the team went for hours. They had come up with a solution after hearing Yoongi’s side of story. The false accusation made by the irresponsible individual will be addressed officially in court considering this matter jeopardized both BTS and Yoongi image. Big Hit had zero tolerance pertaining to this issue and would file a lawsuit against the individual who started this rumour.

For the time being any solo and group activities involving Yoongi would be put at halt to give him a space to breathe from medias. The only activities that he would take part in the future was BTS upcoming activities in America followed by their American Music Awards performance in a month. Big Hit had replaced Yoongi with other members to fulfil the request from reality shows that already being scheduled for him few months ago.

Entering Suga’s Genius Lab stealthily was Jin, the dark room was ignited by a small table lamp at the corner causing Jin to wonder if Yoongi was already asleep. Ever since the article made it to public yesterday, Yoongi didn’t talk much worrying the eldest guy.

“Yoong, are you asleep?” he sat on his favourite swivel chair facing Yoongi’s small body on the couch.

His soft hummed could be heard clearly, as the distressed guy sat up expelling a deep sigh. “Are you okay?” concerned Jin made sure to scrutinize his serious expression.

“Is this about Seul?”

“Why are you bringing her up?” he snapped.

Jin smug in victory “So, this is about Seul. Are you worried that she might misunderstand this and decide to leave you? And choose Jungkook-ie?” Yoongi rubbed his back hair in frustration.

“She is a big girl, I don’t care who she chose. In the end, I will never win over Jungkook” his heart stung by his own words though he really hoped to see Seul tonight. It was impossible, no one would want to stay with an unfaithful guy like him. In the eyes of public, he is just a mere pest who toyed with girls’ heart.

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