So much has happened in three years. After that night at Taeyang’s party, I didn’t hear anything from Lisa. More Like I tried my best to block her from my mind, until two years ago when I met up with our college friends. I learned that Lisa moved to Australia that same year. She finally applied and got accepted for the scholarship that she once turned down. I was happy to hear that news that she’s finally committing to herself again. As for me, I’ve tried dating but I guess I’m still not ready for a serious relationship.

Three years. I bet she has completely moved on. That thought was like a pinch in the chest.

That was the reason why I was hesitant to come to our organization’s 25th anniversary. Last week, Lisa came back for a vacation and our friends told me that she’s attending the event since she’s a former vice president of our org. The thought of seeing her again gave me anxiety. I wanted to see her but at the same time I didn’t. Does she hate me still? Will she ignore me? The last time we saw each other, she was a complete mess.

I was inside my room trying to find the best outfit to wear for the event when I saw my reflection on the mirror in my peripheral vision. What was I even doing? Why was I getting all stressed out for an outfit? It’s not as if I’m attending a formal event. I stood up, went in front of the mirror and fixed the stray hair in my face. “It’s just an event. You’ll be fine. Nothing extraordinary will happen. You’ll see Lisa and that’s it. Again, you’ll be fine and you’ll enjoy the night.” I reminded myself.

“Why don’t you just sell your car to an automobile shop and just buy a new one? I can’t always drop you off you know”, Jisoo suggested. She’s driving me to the event because I can’t use my junkie car.

“Thank you Chichu you’re the best, but you know that Junkie has a sentimental value to me. That was my mom’s car, I can’t just get rid of it.” I replied. Jisoo and I have become so much closer. She’s like a sister to me now. She’s the one that I talk to about Lisa. She’s older than me so she scolds me especially when it comes to hasty decisions I make.

“You can buy a new car with the money you wasted on fixing your hopeless car”, she pointed out.

“Yea I know. But that car is like my baby and I will..” I stopped mid-sentence when I saw that we have already arrived at the venue.

Jisoo stopped the car on the side “Looks like we’re here. So, enjoy the night. Should I pick you up later?”

“No need, I’ll be going home with my friend Dara, she lives near my place. Thank you so much Chu! I owe you one” I replied.

She nodded and smiled, “yes, you do.”

I stopped from opening the car door and looked at her once again, “Chu, I’m nervous”

“Call me if anything happens. Enjoy the night Jen, don’t worry too much” she replied sincerely. I heaved a deep breath and finally opened the door.

I guess I came a little late because everyone seemed to have already greeted each other. “Jen! You’re finally here I’ve been waiting for you! I have so much stories to tell you”, Hayi, another old friend that I haven’t seen in a long time welcomed me. “Long time no see Hayi! I’ve missed you!” I replied with a hug.

“Have you greeted everybody? Seems like a lot of our batch mates came.” She excitedly asked.

“I just got here so I’ve yet to meet everyone. I’ve seen Jinwoo and the gang outside though.” I said with a smile.

“Ah yes, they’re in charge of the registration. Have you greeted Lisa? I just saw her around.” Hayi moved to Canada when we were juniors so she probably didn’t hear about what happened. All she knew was that Lisa’s my ex already and that we were in good terms after that. One thing about Hayi, she was the one who always teased me with Lisa back then. She was our number one shipper.

My heart started to beat erratically again. Just the mention of her name made me nervous. I was about to reply to Hayi when she looked at my back excitedly.

“Lisa! Here!” she shouted as she pointed where we were.

I heard the sound of her shoes walking towards us. I froze in my spot not looking back. Hayi moved to my side to greet her again. They gave each other light hugs. “Lisa, look who’s here? Good thing I saw you pass by” Hayi said while she turned to introduce Lisa to me.

I finally turned to face Lisa with a pretentious smile as if I’m not sweating and screaming inside at that very moment.

“Hey” she greeted me with a smile and a light hug. I was caught off guard. I definitely didn’t expect her response. I snapped back to my senses, “Hey” I greeted back timidly.

“You two, catch up with each other I’ll just get us a drink” Hayi interrupted. We looked at her and nodded.

Lisa then turned back to face me with a smile. “Long time” she said, initiating a small talk.

“Yea, long time” I answered nervously. I seriously didn’t expect she’d be the one to break the ice.

“How have you been?” we asked each other in chorus. She chuckled a little but answered quickly.

“I’m good, I’m good. I just got back here last week. How have you been?” she answered with a smile.

“I see. I’m doing good as well. I heard you’re taking MS. Australia right?” I asked pretending I didn’t know well.

“Yes. It’s been fun. New place, new environment” she explained with a contented smile.

“Good for you. So how’s..” I was cut off by Hayi who came back with the drinks. That was quick. “Here guys, but Lisa they’re looking for you there at the organizer’s table. I think they’re gathering former officers.” She informed.

“Is that so?” Lisa replied. “I guess I’ll see you around then. Nice catching up, Jen. Hayi, I’ll get going” she added then trailed off. “Yea, sure. See you around” I nodded and smiled.

The event ended without anything extraordinary happening. But the whole time, I was lost in my thoughts. I didn’t know why I was bothered by how Lisa acted. I should be happy that she’s doing well and that it didn’t seem like she hates me still. It was a complete 360 from the last time we saw each other.

She looked beautiful as ever with her ginger hair. She looked peaceful and unbothered.  

She looked happy. That thought conflicted me.

Has she moved on completely? That possibility made my heart sink. I should be happy because that’s what I wanted for her to do after our break up. I wanted her to move on and move forward. I’d rather her ignore me the whole night, than speak to me like nothing happened between us. I know I was being irrational but I couldn’t help feeling this way.

My train of thoughts were interrupte