Lisa’s POV

♫ I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time
With all your good time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now
And I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life

But a life lived without you could never be right

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the river runs to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me ♫

I am sitting on a café working on some of the documents I needed for my migration to Australia, when a song that I relate to started playing. I suddenly remembered that time of my life.

A year ago today, the only person that I would never give up for the world, decided to give up on me. On us.

Up to this day, I am still broken but somehow it doesn’t hurt as much. Maybe I got used to the pain.

But today is different. I feel a little too vulnerable than usual. It must be the song.

♫ I tried to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found is myself always thinking of you

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the river runs to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me

Oh no matter what I do

Each night’s a lifetime to live through

I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I ever loved ♫
 

Damn that song. But I think it’s not just the song. Earlier today, I woke up to my phone alarming.

“JENLISA 7th Anniversary! <3”

My stupid self forgot to delete all Jennie related events and reminders on my phone.

I deleted them. I went to photos next planning to do the same when I stumbled upon the first picture of her on my phone. It was a stolen shot I took of her in the café when we first met.

I remember being so shy to share a table with her. Good thing though that the café was full or I might have sat somewhere else. I knew her from our Literature class. She rarely talks and I’ve only seen her smile once. But that one smile was enough to catch my attention. It was a beautiful, gummy smile that can light up a gloomy day.

I’ve always thought she was a snob, she has this resting face. That is why I’ve never really attempted to talk to her until that unexpected day at the café.

The way her body jumped a little when she heard a voice speak to her was so cute. It’s still vivid in my mind.

The first thirty minutes was quiet, I was reading my notes but my mind can’t seem to absorb anything. Not when I can see her face from my position. I saw her looked my way so I grabbed that opportunity to have a conversation with her. My lame self asked her to watch a choreography on my laptop. As lame as it was, it worked. I was so excited when she agreed.

When she told me she has seen me perform on stage, my heart jumped. The exact feelings, I can’t explain. She was drinking her café mocha when the foam from her drink got to her face. Her confused response was so adorable. I could swear she was the cutest human being ever. I couldn’t control myself from smiling too much. She must’ve thought I was a creep. I wanted to remember and see that moment and that smile everyday so I quickly grabbed my phone and took a photo of her. 

I never deleted that photo and I don’t think I’ll ever do. It holds precious memories that even after everything that happened, I can look at that photo and just be reminded that this chapter in my life happened. I’m thankful for the six years. Jennie was always so thankful to me but I am equally as thankful to her or even more. She was literally my only one; my girlfriend, best friend, mother, critique, number one fan and many more. I lost all of that when she left me. So I have to be all of those to myself.

In that one year that we’re apart, I saw myself in a different light. Now that Jennie and I are over, I felt the senselessness of my day job. I realized how I never really wanted this job. How this was wearing me but didn’t give me satisfaction in return. I only took it because it was convenient for us.

And so I decided to apply again for the scholarship in Australia. I did it for several reasons; I wanted to fully move on from Jennie, I wanted a new environment and meet new people and most importantly, I did it for myself. The feeling of wanting to perform again haunted me. My dream of owning a dance school inspired me again to continue where I left off.

I’ll never really full understand your reason for leaving me, Jen. I’ll never grasp the fact that you did me like that. I was mad. I am mad. But it was never hate. I never hated you. Somehow I can never seem to hate you and that scares me.

A flashback of what happened that spiteful day came rushing back after hearing that song.

It will be a lie if I say our relationship was perfect. It had bumps here and there. Was I blind to not see something’s wrong with our relationship? I don’t know. I don’t know because I was left hanging. Until now I don’t know what happened between us. She did say her reason though but I can’t accept it. She doesn’t love me anymore. Was that really the reason, Jen? Did you really fell out of love with me? For months these thoughts kept me awake at night. I’ll never get over you, getting over me.

The next morning after our breakup would have to be the saddest. I’m used to waking up with a hot coffee that she prepared for me. But that morni