Hello my lovely readers!

i have decide to update a day earlier because I figured waiting a week was too long and you guys are patiently waiting...so what the hell! why wait!:)

Besides I'm so excitied to get your feed back on the first chapter!!!^.^ 

I also want to mention the wonderful respone i got just from the poster and you guys dont have a clue on how happy i was <3 

So consider this a treat for being such amazing people!!! i love you all and please look out for me in the future :)

p.s: Please excuse the grammer errors because I'm a sophmore that is too lazy to look over it for the 105th time >.<

p.s.s.: credit for pic goes to MISA ART<3

You’re a bad guy.

You’re the thief of innocence.

You’re the poison that stains roses from red to black.

You’re the king of agony and sorrow.

You’re the devil that shatters women’s hearts into pieces.

You’re the one that doesn’t give a to what someone has to say, let alone what they think.

You’re the man that murdered love and happiness.

You’re the man that makes me cry and frown.

.

.

.

But you know what?
Despite how horrible of a person you are, at the end of the day, my love for you doesn’t lessen one bit because . . .

You’re the man that makes my heart flutter.

You’re the man that stole my heart.

You’re the man I look forward to seeing when I wake up.

You’re the man I love.

You’re the only man that makes me feel alive.

Now, you are probably thinking what an insane women I am.

Yeah, I admit it; I am Park Bom, the crazy lady that’s head over heels in love with a jerk. Took me awhile to realize it myself. Sometimes, I just don’t understand my own heart. How can I be attracted to someone that is the complete opposite of me? Someone so different?

My crush is a legend around the school campus. He is known for his mysteriousness and mesmerizing looks, not to mention his enormous wealth that he is to inherit soon. That’s probably why every girl in school completely throws themselves at him. Of course, only to be crushed by his ruthless, cruel words. I think it is ridiculous to be in love with a man only for his looks. People should be loved for who they are.

But because society is full of crap these days, the only thing that runs through most girls minds is how good looking someone is or how rich he is or how good of connections he has. And in the end, those senseless girls are left heartbroken because of one guy that goes by the name of T.O.P.

But now I’ve become one of them. Well, partially one because I haven’t confessed to him and nor do I have plans to because I know, you know, we all know what’s going to happen………REJECTION!

There is also another difference me and those bimbo girls.

I love him for his nature; they love him for his looks and wealth. But I love him for who he is, not what he has. He doesn’t let anyone into his world, and that makes me want him all the more.

Also, he’s not a player; He has girls giving him love letters and confessions every day and he rejects all of them. Obviously, not in the nicest way but still, he doesn’t take advantage of them. Unlike my past boyfriends that all played around with my emotions.

 Among the 3 boyfriends I’ve had, each one of them messed with me, my mind, my life, and my heart. I so blinded by their love, I didn’t realize I was just a joke to them. But for some reason, I feel if I was T.O.P girlfriend, he would treat me right.

“Bommie!!” Dara shouted as she ran towards me, “What are you dreaming about again?! We’ll be late to class! Come on!!!” Dara scolded me as we started to rush to class.

As Dara and I were quickly making our way through the hallways and into class, I saw a familiar figure that I’ve dreamt about every night. I froze in place and stared at him as if he was some kind of perfect creature. Within seconds, I felt his gaze upon me as I felt heat rush to my cheeks. And his eyes! They were so gentle yet so deep and penetrating as if they were looking through my soul.

“Bommie! Is there something interesting about T.O.P?” The teacher asked as I quickly withdrew my gaze from T.O.P and to the questioning teacher. By then, I knew my face was flushed red. Damn teacher had to put me on the spot in front of my crush!

“Huh? Uh . . . n-no.” I quickly scurried away to my desk in order to escape the embarrassment I just experienced in front of T.O.P

Throughout the rest of class, I buried my face in my arms. Despite not being able to see, I knew Dara was looking at me with a concerned face till the second the bell rang. And as I heard it, I sprinted out of class as fast as my feet could go. When I looked over my shoulder to see if I was in T.O.P’s sight anymore, a breathless Dara was right behind me. I was pretty sure I was a least 10 seconds ahead of her. This stick skinny girl sure can run.

Before I knew it, Dara was dragging me to a bench with a tight grip on my arm and sat me down roughly. I was ready to be interrogated by my best friend. Based on her face, I figured she was questioning my behavior lately. Which I admit to and blame T.O.P for. I guess I’ve just been fazed by his existence. And everything else of related to him.

“Alright Bommie spit out, what’s up?” Dara commanded with a motherly tone.  

“Ok. Ok. I-I-. . .Um . . .like . . .Um . . .T.O.P” I confessed timidly while looking down with my hands playing at the hem of my shirt.  Surprisingly, I heard a high pitched squeal from Dara, who was grinning from ear to ear. Instantly, I smiled as wide as I could; I was expecting a disapproving answer from her because she was always so overprotective with me, but instead, she was happy for me. I suppose Dara really saw  how hurt I was with my exes and lost hope in love, but she didn’t want me to give up. And I’m glad I didn’t.

“Awwwww!!! My Bommie is in love with T.O.P! I was waiting all this time for you to man up!” Dara exclaimed proudly. “Wait!! You knew all this time?!” I shrieked, stunned by her confession. “Yup!!! The first time I caught you drooling over him.” That’s why I love Dara, she knows me even better than I know myself. Not to mention my embarrassing moments.

After a little conversation with Dara about my one-side love for T.O.P, we hugged goodbye before I headed off to work with a joyful mood. Since it was a walking distance and knowing I was early, I walked slowly while daydreaming about him.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost passed by the bakery I work at, but luckily for me, my boss was outside and just hung up the phone before he hollered for me to come to him. He was a middle aged man with a good heart. Also, he treats me like his daughter and I love him for that  because not only is he a respectable man, he is also one of the most caring.

While I was working, something caught my attention.

At the corner of my eye, I saw a tall, well-built man with dark black hair that was perfectly cut and shaped outside the bakery. Just then, I noticed that he was wearing the same school uniform of my school.  Unfortunately, the writing on the glass concealed half of his face. I barely managed to see only the upper part of his face as his beautiful yet fierce eyes were visible to me. My face felt hot and my heart began to beat rapidly. I didn’t even know why I was blushing over a stranger!

But his dark  and deep gaze shocked me the most because they were identical to T.O.P’s. The aura was tense yet it still had that soothing, soft feeling. Exactly like the few seconds of eye interaction I had with T.O.P when I entered class this morning. Was that him?!

No. It couldn’t be. What the hell would he be doing here?! I made up a bunch of explanations and excuses to try to convince myself into thinking that the stranger wasn’t him. But by the time I was done justifying with myself, T.O.P’s twin had already vanished from my sight.

A part of me wished T.O.P’s duplicate would come back and the other parted wished it was really him.

I had spent the rest of the evening working hard by appreciating my passion for baking.  I wasn’t extremely rich like the rest of the students in school but my family was pretty stable. I didn’t want to always depend on my parent’s money and support; I want to be self-regulating and cherish my life while being solo.

My boss says I am a work-a-holic and can see my desire to make people smile with delight with my baking abilities. But I believe I need to work more passionately and expand my baking expertise to a whole different level.

In fact, baking was the only thing the made my actually made me feel alive again when I was torn into shreds by my ex-boyfriends.

But today I was extra enthusiastic because I had an incredible day except the part where I was humiliated by my teacher in front of my lover-boy. Other than that, I went home with a smile plastered on my face and one still one question in mind…was that really T.O.P??? I just hope I don’t past my house while thinking to myself.

 ____________________

Days and days have passed and I haven’t seen T.O.P at school since his look alike appeared at the bakery. It’s killing me inside, not knowing how he’s doing, what he’s doing. Every night, every day I want to be with him, all I see is him. I yearn to be in his arms, I crave his to be loved by him, I desire his luscious lips.  I am starting to become paranoid not being able to see this beautiful creature that’s constantly on my mind. It hurts not being to be able to be loved by the one you’re in love with.  

I persuaded myself into thinking that maybe he just doesn’t want to come to school or had some personal reasons. But something extraordinary happened ever since I have been in a state of dismay and distress because of T.O.P‘s absence.

His twin appeared at the bakery repeatedly since T.O.P had disappeared.

 Me, being the coward I am, I didn’t have the decency to invite him in. Unfortunately, I still never got a good look at him because he would only be there for about two minutes, max! By the time I had built up some nerve to confront this figure that I was thriving to see completely, had already departed from my view. Not to mention the overload of customers, especially with Valentine’s Day right around the corner.

What makes me more interested in this fellow is the better glimpse I get at him the more he resembles T.O.P. I really wished he would come out of his shadow and reveal himself.

Every time I saw the mystery man outside my work I became giddy and hot inside. I wanted to know more about this stranger that makes me blush, and heart beat out of my chest. I promise, the second I see him again I’ll have the guts and reveal him to myself one way or another.

______________________

Since today is the weekend there is no school, honestly I am partially glad there’s no teachers and studying, but I don’t get to see T.O.P. ‘I can get through this day because I haven’t seen him in almost a week, this is no different…c’mon Bommie!’  I hypnotized myself in order to endure the emptiness I feeling due to T.O.P’s nonappearance.

On the bright side, I am going to go to work I dearly love. It relieves my heart ache that I cannot express my feelings to T.O.P freely and to be loved in return. There’s nothing better than going to do something you love, while thinking of someone you love and watch people enjoy what you love on a beautiful spring day.

Though, I must confess that I am feeling butterflies in my stomach due to the mystery man that is glued to the cement outside the bakery. I await his presence as I bake my heart out.

As I’m lost in thought taking a break, my thoughtful boss forced me to take, I see a man sitting on a bench outside. Only half of his face his shown due to one of his hands hiding it; the other hand hanging off his knee. Just then I realized it was the T.O.P identical! Oh trust me I would know.

As soon as I noticed this, I snapped back into reality, thinking twice before I fulfill my promise to confront his man I’ve been longing to see. Some thing was off about him today…it’s like he was sadden by something. He was troubled and upset, his eyes were giving him away. I didn’t have the heart anymore to add on to this man’s miserable day, but I did have an idea on how to cheer him up at bit.

I swiftly grabbed a cupcake and made a comforting smiley face on it, I felt satisfied and thought this should do it. When I started to make my way out the entrance, I had the shock of my life.

 I froze in place and my body became tense, I felt blood rush to my cheeks within seconds and my heart start to pound against my chest. I bet anybody that walked by could hear my screaming heartbeat.

That man was T.O.P after all!

I had suddenly lost all the courage I work hard to build up and didn’t have the nerve to take another step to my angel. But I took a slow look at the heart wrenching man drowning in his blues before turning back to my cowardly shadow. He looked as if he wanted to be held, desired to be loved and that made my heart ache undeniable…I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I had changed my mind and knew this was the right thing to do, for both of us.

I took a deep breath and had my target on lock. I calmly walked over there and stood in front of him like this was the first time I knew of his existence. Which of course, was a huge lie, but hey…I told a white lie for a good intention. He looked up to me and didn’t speak a word, instead his facial expression talked for him. His eyes widened in confusion and the rims of his thin lips slightly unlocked, but no words dared to speak. I figured I should make the first move, considering I was the one that approached him.

I anxiously extended my arm with the cupcake in hand forward towards him with the sweetest smile I could offer.

“Why frown on such a beautiful day?” I said with a soothing quiet voice and my cupcake still in hand waiting to be accepted by its rightful owner.

He stared at me with a puzzled look before glancing at the cheerful work of sweetness in my hand. My heart was thumping recklessly anticipating his next move. I caught his fingers twitch with light sparks in his eyes and had my hopes up for him to just accept my compassion I have to offer.

 For me, this is more than a kind hearted girl attempting to cheer up a man’s from his sorrows, it was me confessing my feeling to man I have been longing to be in the arms of.

He gradually extended his large arms even further and accepts the bundle of sugar that was earlier in my hand. As he gently grabbed the cupcake I felt our finger tips touch, I got this impulsive adrenaline rush, and felt electricity run through my body. But then I already knew that blood had raced to my cheeks.

I jumped back into reality, and quickly revived my attention to the man of dreams in front of me. He broke a small smile at the left side of this mouth. ‘Yeah! Baby! Mission accomplished! One point for Bommie!! Hoot hoot!’ I praised myself while staring at the pleased man that’s eating my work of art in pleasure.

Just seeing him smile made me my day. I felt a weight of eagerness lift of my shoulders, I felt so happy being able to make someone enjoy at least 2 minutes of their crappy day. Especially when it’s someone that you unquestionably love.

Due to his happiness, I managed to beam with glee. How I wish this moment could last forever. It felt it was only me and him, everything else was black and white. I desire to see this mesmerizing creatures face every day, every second. All I ask is for him and my life would be complete.

While I was in a state of bliss and grinning like an idiot in front of him, I have not noticed the blank expression in front of me, which happened to be worn by my lover boy. ‘Oh god…Bommie why do you always act so stupid in front of him!’ I groaned to myself while I was wiping off the grin that humiliated me earlier.

“um…thanks for the cupcake…it was delicious” T.O.P confessed saying his first words ever since I approached him while giving me a appreciating smile. Oh, baby boy, I should be thanking you for having that stunning smile. Oh god, it was like heaven I tell you.

‘Uh…your welcome…you just seemed a bit down, so I just thought why not…hehe” I spoke my mind while giving an awkward chuckle at the end with my one of my hands rubbing the back of my neck.

“Bom…Park Bom…is that right?” He asked me with a hint of curiosity towards the end, still looking me in the eye.

I didn’t answer almost immediately because I was baffled that he knew my name and secondly it would seem like I anticipated for this moment to come, which It did…only in my dreams, but this was real.

“Yeah…that’s right…I’m sorry to ask…but how do you know my name?” I was curious to know how he knew my name.

“Attendance sheet. We have some classes together, and I heard your name.” He bluntly told me without a doubt.

“Oh yeah, now that I think about it, we do. Hey…um do you want to go inside and talk…if you like?” Ok now I was just saying whatever that came to my mouth. Everything else was in fate’s hands.

“uh…yeah, sure why not.” He replied as he accepted my offer. I really wanted to pinch myself to see if I really wasn’t dreaming, but of course, I didn’t. Even though I was really happy that the agreed I was still wonder why he was talking to me…nicely.

I mean those girls at school come up to him every day and attempt to snatch him but all he does is crush them. So why wasn’t I treated the same way?

Abandoning that thought, I started to lead the way back to our final destination, which was only 30 seconds walk.

“Oh, by the way, you can call me Bommie.” I spoke in a cheeky voice with a small grin, attempting to make the atmosphere a little more comforting.

“Bommie huh?” I gave a slight nod and a hum in response. I might have seemed really chill on the outside but really, I was going ballistic inside.  I love it when his y deep voice says my name.

“That’s cute” I could of sworn he murmured that while open the door for me. Awww what a gentlemen. Ahhh back on topic, he said my name was cute. Maybe I just miss heard because his voice was barely in audible.

I lead him to the island counters near the front of the cashiers. As time went by, we became so much more comfortable with each other, it felt as if we knew each other for years. I still couldn’t believe this was happening.

We listened and talked about each other’s lives and problems. When it was his turn, I listened to his about complaints about his stupid fan girls from school, idiotic parents and his lonely life. It was heart aching, I just want to give him a huge bear hug, but of course…I couldn’t. God, who knew that this tough looking man has a completely different side.

 When it was my turn, I  babbled on about my boring life and my passion for baking, about my exes…I basically told all him about all my life except the part where he’s in include. I wouldn’t dare to reveal that to him even if my life depended on it. Well, that’s too exaggerated…but you know I mean.

We filled each other on life stories and things we’ve never had told anybody. There weren’t like secrets, there were just words that nobody would sincerely take and appreciate the meaning of it. While he ranted on the why he distants himself from everyone, I stared deep in his eyes and saw sincerity.my love for him just jumped to another bar beacuse of his truthful words.

Soon the sun had disappeared and the dark sky shining with stars caught our attention. We both looked out the window at the exact same time after an awkward conversation about our ideal types. Which made me a little heartbroken because we both had ideal types hat were completely different to us. I love T.O.P dearly but he isn’t my type. I like a cheerful, sweet gentleman. But you know what they say, opposites attract. This apparently in my case applies…to which I have no objection to.

Once we had turned back to look at each other after admiring the night sky, I had the sudden urge to laugh, which I did, softly. I don’t know why but I guess it was because of the atmosphere, and before I knew it heard a deep chuckle s come from T.O.P who was unconsciously sitting very close to me. I then, realized that the deeper we dug in each other’s lives the closer we got…physically.

I swiftly gabbed a glimpse at T.O.P who was looking into my soul. I would of sworn I saw spark light up in his eyes causing blood rush to my face.

I figured that we should stop for today because I was going to faint anytime soon in the presence of his face, but my heart didn’t want to. I made the first move and managed to bring up a fake cough and scoot away a bit. I saw that he got the hint and drank a sip of his coffee and look around exploring his surroundings. I too soon tagged along and looked around, then suddenly realized that we and a four other customers remained.

I finally stood up and said that we should call it a day with apologetic smile. In response, he nodded while looking a little down but understanding. I awkwardly rubbed my hands on my thighs and lead them to my back pockets. God hate good byes! I didn’t even know if he would ever talk to me again. Let alone the fact that he told a stranger everything about his life.

“um…bye T.O.P…I  had fun talking to you” I confessed while nodding with a sincere smile.

“yeah, me too.” He agreed with me while getting out of his seat ready to bounce.

“Bye!” I finally concluded while slowly walking backwards, then completely turning my back to him. it hurt leaving him behind, but he wasn’t mine to claim.

“ BOMMIE!” I heard a husky voice yell a few feet behind me. Did he forget something? I thought trying to convince myself not to anticipate anything. I turned around on my heel, only to see the man of my dreams looking at me with hopeful eyes.

“…could I see you sometime again?...” he calmly said with a smile creeping upon his lips after finally get the curiosity of his chest.

I could not believe this. I was screaming inside with excitement due to the question he just asked me, I was baffled by his offer. I knew if I was fan girling on the outside he would take back what he just asked within seconds so I replied coolly.

“You know where to find me, see ya around.” I answered with a wink and a sly smirk. I gradually turned around back on my feet that didn’t have the desire to leave from his presence and walked away tauntingly slow. I didn’t know if my reply was enough for him but I knew that I wasn’t going to give up on him.

I felt alive again but this time it’s because of a man.