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Lisa was six when she first watched her favorite movie which led her to want more and found out there was a written version. On her seventh birthday, she received her first book; the book version of the movie. A month before her eight birthday, her Mom bought her three books from Korea and that's when she got interested of the Korean languange and started learning it. She didn't celebrate her tenth birthday for her parents divorced that day.

She felt lonely.

Her mom was lacking time for her because of their problems. Lisa was a strong girl. She was known for her optimistic thinking and iron resolve.

She was eleven years of age when they moved to Korea because her Mom met a Korean man whom she eventually fell in love with and married. Lisa liked and loved the man for he treated her as his own daughter.

She was twelve when her stepfather gifted her a journal. It was simple and plain yet it meant something deeper for the girl. There, she discovered writing. She wrote her first story. She found her passion.

She started from scratch.

Erasures

Throw

Torn pads

Throw

Cliché plot

Throw

She wrote a lot of drafts before she finally found the right words to put in the book and the accurate scenes that flashed on her mind. It was enough and she was satisfied with the outcome.

A pitch of different juices being served on her yellow and bright room with her favorite sandwich. A cute pen and her simple journal. The sound of the thin ink touching her blank pad. It became a routine until she turned seventeen. Her Dad built a publishing house because of her.

“Thank you, Daddy.” the first words that slipped off after she saw the building whilst embracing the father.

“Anything for my Lalisa.” the man simply said using his smooth voice.

Lisa was happy, who wouldn't? She was happy because she finished her first novel. She was happy because she had a brother and a new father as well. She was happy because she finally felt the happiness she've been longing for since she was a child. She was happy. So much.

Until it wasn't anymore.

Lisa was a sophomore when she met someone special whom she thought had the feelings same as hers. She was anticipating that they will be together after they graduate from college. They were friends, they really became close friends to best of friends.

Small pecks on the cheek when having a competition to join in the university, warm short hugs when one is feeling the lowest, going out together to watch movies to it's last showing, holding hands when the room is still dark, and comforting words to make one feel safe. The relationship got deeper, without any label. Of course, they are both girls, there is nothing to be labeled.

But Lisa craved for more. She started getting bored for the kisses on the cheek, that she wanted a soft kiss.. on the lips. She got tired of the warm short hugs, that she needed a long embrace everytime she breaks down. Going out together meant already something to her.. that is it still dating like friends? And not as lovers? She hated the two of them holding hands, because it's just as friends holding each other and not as a couple. Comforting words weren't enough anymore that she needed something that person to do.

She needed her as someone not just as a bestfriend.
 

But Lisa got scared. Rejection. She feared that the girl would reject her. That she won't accept her. So she kept it a secret. She had to. She needed to. She lied not only to that person but also to herself. She hid the tears that person supposed to see because she is the reason anyway. She faked her smiles and laughs just to join the person's happiness that she forgot her own.

Lisa needed happiness, too.

Secrets are supposed to be kept, right? But, no, in this universe we live in, everything will get exposed. And so that happened to Lisa.

“I hate you.”

“You just broke our friendship..”

“I am sorry, but I don't feel the same way.”

“This is so unacceptable, Lisa.”

“You are a mistake.”

The words echoed inside her mind as if it was on loop. She started hating herself, that person, everyone and the world.

Cuts.

She started cutting her skin like a paper. She was supposed to feel pain but she felt so numb. So numb and miserable. She hid the bloodied blades and random expired pills inside the drawer, letting the room and herself be aware of it. She secretly slit her wrist inside her quite bathroom and will wear a long sleeves top or a hoodie the day after so her family will not notice. She silently cried inside her room alone because she didn't want to disturb anyone who were alreadly in a slumber.

She kept the pain all by herself without anyone knowing and noticing it.

She tried to help herself. She tried watching funny clips on Youtube. She tried discovering some stuffs to do. She even tried learning new sports. And.. she tried writing again.

 

There an angst lover was born.

 

She discovered her skills when it comes to writing sad scenes, how she manipulated the words and created a beautiful piece. She writes tragic stories beautifully. It helped her. It helped her a lot. She distracted herself to reading and writing. Until she realized that she already threw all of the blades and pills hidden on her drawer, until she realized that her name doesn't sound painful anymore, that it doesn't hurt anymore. She was back to her old self and she was more than happy.

She helped herself.
 

Her life started from a one color, on the middle of it everything became dark and now it screams too much colors and it's overwhelming. It's like a color blind person started seeing colors the correct way it should be. It's like building a house without any furnitures to put but you fortunately won a big amount of cash to buy the needed stuffs. It's like having an incomplete family but you realized they were so enough and you felt contented.
 

Lisa felt that.
 

She felt rainbows, the contentment, acceptance and lastly, happiness.

A loud knock made Lisa to put down her pencil and open the door. It was her mother she saw. “Mom..” she said under her breath.

“Why aren't you still sleeping?” the mother asked as she fully went inside the room and plopped herself to the blonde's bed. Lisa carefully closed the door and sat beside her mother to cuddle her side.

“I am still writing..” Lisa said, you can tell she's already tired with the voice she used.

“Writing? At 1AM?” the woman asked whilst drawing circles to her daughter's back to lessen her tiredness a bit.

“Hmm,” the blonde hummed as she closed her eyes, feeling her Mom's hand caressing her back. “My brain functions perfectly at late nights.” she explained with a very low voice.

“I'm not a writer so I don't know that but I know it will be much good for you if you sleep early so you can regain your strength. Maybe I'll tell you tomorrow.” the mother said as she laid down Lisa slowly at the bed.

Lisa held her wrist before she can even walk out the room, “Tell it now Mom.” she pleaded using an aegyo, her eyes still closed. The woman giggled at the sight of her daughter pleading while half-asleep.

“No. Go to sleep now, miss sleepyhead.” the mother again sat down the bed and leaned down to kiss the daughter's forehead. The latter came out a soft giggle and fell asleep later on. “I hope you will never lose that smile again..” the woman whispered in the air, staring to her daughter, and she closed the door.

It was a busy morning again for Lisa's family. The father skipped breakfast and left early for work. The maids are serving the plates and glasses for the family and there goes Lisa using her cellphone with furrowed brows. Taeyang; Lisa's older stepbrother let out a fake cough as he pours water on his glass. “E-ehem,” he coughed. “Breakfast is reaaady,” he playfully spoke using a thin voice that made Lisa turn her head up. “Success.” he whispered.

“I-i'm sorry,” the blonde stuttered and started placing rice on her plate. “Mom, what is it again? I remember you said last night you have something to tell me.”

Lisa's mother nodded and wiped the side of a tissue first before speaking, “Yeah. Our company will have a new author.. but before that, your Dad wants you to interview her first. It will also help you, too.”

The blonde had her eyes widened to what she heard, “Really?! W-when is it? Where?” she asked.

“Lisa sweetie calm your down.” Taeyang joked in which Lisa returned with a pout.

“Ask your father.”

-

(lisa's point of view is necessary so i had to do this)

Lisa's Point of View
 

“Where are we going? Ugh, I still have to finish a chapter, Bam, can I go back if this isn't important?” I pleaded as I kick my left foot multiple times. I'm currently riding on a car together with Bambam. I don't even have the slightest idea where will we go.

“I promise, this will be fun! Momo is also waiting for us there.” he excitedly answered. I rolled my eyes and frustratingly sighed.

“Be sure. You know nothing's fun except of having your own book published.” I stated.

“Don't compare us to you, pabo. I know reading and writing have been your life but.. won't you like to go out of your shell? Like.. explore and stuffs like that? Lisa, as your bestfriend, I want you to grow as an individual, too. And stucking yourself at the corner with your books and pens won't do anything. I know that's your passion but don't you think you've been drowning yourself too much and that passion is already preventing you to enjoy life?” I stayed quiet and decided not to answer him.

An hour passed and we reached our destination. Maybe Bam is right.. maybe I've been drowning myself too much. I don't even know what's this place.

“Where are we?” I asked after going out of the car. It's like a.. an ice cream-

“Obviously, an ice cream parlor.” he answered and smiled. We both went inside and we were both greeted by the cold temperature. I scanned the whole room and there's a lot of photographs hanging on the wall. Woah, it's very cozy and refreshing. I like it.

“Guys, over here!” we heard a voice so we turned our head on one corner and there we saw Momo waving her hand. We gladly came closer to her and took our seats. “I think I've been waiting for forever.” she quipped which we returned with a snicker.

“Orders?” Bam asked.

Momo raised a finger, “Green tea flavored ice cream sounds good.” she said wiggling her brows.

Bam shook his head and pouted, “Not my type. I'll go for vanilla Gelato. How about you Lice?” I was taken aback.

“Hm, the usual cookies and cream,” they both mocked at me and gave me disgusting looks. “What?!”

“Aish, talk to her Bam. Lisa's life is so ed up.” I glared at Momo to what she said and slapped her in the arm.

“Try the.. what is it again? Mint chocolate chip! I heard that flavor really tastes delicious. Go for it.” I scrunched my nose and forcibly nodded.

“YES!” they said cheerfully in unison and did a high-five.

“2 points for me.” Bam announced. I raised my eyebrow and gave him a questioning look.

“I should have been the one that fetched her! You're such a hoe, Bam. I hate you.” Momo ranted and they both stood up to order. I was left alone without any idea of what they were talking about.

I took out my phone to play a mobile game just while I'm waiting for the two.

“Lisa,” a voice called me and.. it's kinda familiar. “Hi, Lisa.” I looked up and there an ang- I mean no, that's cliché, someone unbelievably pretty, caught my eyes.

Jennie-unnie.

“H-hi?” I awkwardly greeted back. Ugh, Lisa, get your mind straight.

“Why are you so awkward?!” she giggled. “Whom are you with?”

“A-ah, my friends. There.” I pointed Bambam and Momo who are currently falling in line together with the other customers. Well, the ice cream house isn't that full. It's safe to say that the people inside here are enough, not much.

“Oh, I see.” she retorted with a nodding head.

“Are you alone? If yes, you can join us.” I offered, smiling.

“Sure, if that would be okay with your friends?”

“They should,” I answered with a chuckle. Jennie-unnie took the seat beside me and I called Momo. She quickly went to us. “Momo, this is–”

“Jennie,” huh? H-how did she know? “It's nice seeing you here Jennie. And you're friends with Lisa? Perfect.” my brow arched mixed with confusion and frustration.

“Wait, Momo, can we go to the restroom first? Jen, is it okay if we leave you for a minute?”

“Oh okay.” I smiled tightly and quickly grasped Momo's wrist until we got to the comfort room. I closed the door as I cross my arms.

“What is it? How did you know her?” I asked hastily.

“Duh, the world is small and apparently, my sister Mina is close with her?”

What? Mina and Momo are sisters?! “So she's the.. she's the sister your talking about! What the..”

“I know. You never had the chance to meet her, right? That's why we told you Lisa, you're running out of date of the reality. See, it's even our first time meeting each other again after.. like four months something? Don't you miss us? Wakey wakey Lisa.” after saying that, she left me. I let out a heavy breath as I hold onto the doorknob of the cubicle in front of me.

This is so frustrating.

I decided to go out because Jennie is waiting. I went to our table and I saw her playing with her phone, Momo and Bambam are now taking our orders. “Why did you go here alone? People usually go to ice cream houses with a companion.” I curiously asked.

“Hmm.. because I want to? I needed some alone time.”

“Oh, I'm sorry I even asked you to be with-”

“No no no, thank you. You don't have to be sorry, silly,” she said and giggled. I saw her gummy smile again that I thought I will never see again after that night. She looked so sad and alone. I observed her face, she still has those dark circles under her eyes and I can tell, she's pretty tired. “D-don't look at me like that, I'm lacking of s-sleep.” she awkwardly said.

“Oh? You look fine. There's nothing to worry about.” I assured.

Momo and Bam finally came and took their seats. Woah, the ice creams they're carrying look so good and delicious. Momo gave mine and Jennie's too. I took a spoonful of it and.. it tastes good. “How is it?” Jennie whispered, she's beside me.

“It's..” I was left speechless for I can't put any words to describe the ice cream.

“Oh, by your reaction, it must be yummy!” I looked at her and she's smiling. “Can I have some?” she shyly asked. I giggled and nodded.

“You two look like a couple,” my eyes drifted to Bam from Jennie. I rolled my eyes at him. “It's like I'm watching a kdrama.” he joked again. Jennie coughed so I quickly grabbed a water bottle from the table and gave it to her.

“Are you fine?” she nodded so I sighed.

I looked at Bambam again and gave him a 'we-will-talk-later' look.

Silence crept in for some minutes and it was Jennie who broke it. “I guess I should go now, I finished my ice cream and Dad texted me. It was nice meeting you, Bam, uh thanks Lisa. We'll see each other again, Momo, right? Thank you.” she suddenly said. I had nothing to do so I just nodded as a response. She went out of the parlor with so much rush.

For some unknown reason, I got curious.

After witnessing Jennie break down that night, I felt something wrong.


 

Should I help her?





 

—

Do you guys miss Blackpink? 'Cause I do. So much. This drought is really drowning us blinks. I hate YG so much. But, we'll be getting BLACKPINK TV, without any specific date. It's kinda hard.. plus Jenlisa is being dead these past few days.. can't get an inspiration.

This is a late update since I'm a bit stressed of schoolworks and I joined a contest which I don't even know how will work. Lmao. I'll try my best to write the next chapter very soon.