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Pairing: ChenleXDonghyuck

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Donghyuck feels lonely,he longs for love and attention. he longs for a home.

The water run´s down my back, hot but cold at the same time. My body and Mind pulled way to many pranks to myself lately.
away my hair from my wet forhead as i sighed deeply.
I knew that the of a idol was more than just singing and smiling. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I still wanted to be at home sometimes,with my loved ones.
Of course the hyungs are also a kind of family we see each other daily, eat together and sleep in the same apartment but it does not feel like a family. There is no warm tingling in my belly and there is no one who shows me his love open without being ashamed.
On most days, like today, I do not want to be an idol. No mc transmissions no debuts no radio shows no concerts and no training.
I wish for a quiet room my phone a few movies and sleepovers with friends. I miss the class excursions and not to pretend as if I would feel good but simply to show my feelings.I long for affection and love.
love which I do not get.
my love gets rejected,over and over.
from everyone, from Johnny, Doyoung winwin jeno and even mark.And believe me if i say it hurts.It is almost like in a love film where the boy loves the girl of his dreams and does not want anything more than her affection,or oppisitly just as you want to see it. But all in one it is the same feeling.
Of course, I love the guys not like, well as a couple but nevertheless, I wish that sometimes they just allow it. my little kisses and hugs. On days like this where I want to give up I want this love but even then nobody wants to love me.

I slowly got out of the shower.
the towel along my body and wiped away every single water drop, so slow, so softly.
I sighed as I looked at my naturally damp curled  hair and left with a backstroke the bathroom and joined the main center,the living room.
Yuta and winwin sat there, they watched a movie. slightly older than the ones they saw otherwise.
they looked satisfied, almost like a couple.
we knew that they were no more than friends, although you could sometimes think differently.
the secret looks, the long hugs the kisses and the jealousy. but I do not care what exactly they are, I just want it too. I would like to be loved as well as winwin by yuta.
of course, there was someone from whom I wished it was especially but that was nonsense.. I've been thinking for a long time and tried it with everyone. I've tried to kiss, embrace, or cuddle with anyone, but I'm always the one getting rejected .

I watched them in silent for a while before I decided to get into the room I shared with mark.
Mark is my best friend, my brother of whom I wanted a little affection sometimes.
even if it's only a small hug, but somehow he seems to have something really against skinship. not only with me, but also with everyone else. with chenle especially.
Whitch I can not quite understand.
chenle is sweet, he has a charming smile his skin is soft and his voice is just as cute as the rest of him. he is also slightly chubby, not as thin as the others.
he seems to be perfect. At first, I thought the mark would not cuddle with me or generally show his feelings because we are already too close, but if he rejects someone like chenle. then that makes me somehow angry.
it hurts to see how he pushes him away. like many other, just because he is a little too loud.
so what? we have all our faults and errors.

I sat down on my bed which squeaks slightly.
I took my phone and rubbed my eyes as the bright light came to me. it was quite late, 2.40 in the night to be exact. I should be asleep already but I could not bring myself to sleep, not alone.
So I took a shower and ate something, and still I feel awake and tense.
I could lay down myself to mark, or doyoung. but they would only be mad at me when they wake up and complain that I was not a little child anymore.

i opend my messanger and searched for "LeLe" i was his status on online,hesitating for a while till i send him a message.

Donghyuck:

"Yah,chenle?"

Lele:

"Hyung? why are u still awake kkk"

"idk"

"im not tired i guess"

"you should be the one sleeping btw!"

"cutie,you are so caring!! kkkk"

"i cant sleep,its cold and jisung refuses to sleep with me :("

"i feel you"

"do you want to hang out or something?"

"renjun hyung will scold me if i leave the dorm"

"I´ll come over?"

"dont get cought kkk,Bring some sacks for your dongsean!!"

I smiled already exited.
I am honest, I really enjoyed being close to chenle.
sometimes I wished that I had made my debut there and could now sleep with him in a room or even the same bed.
I sneaked out of the room with a pack of chips, yuta and winwin were far too concentrated on each other than they would have noticed me.
I sneaked through the hall my feet made dull noises when they met the wooden floor.
I saw once to my left and then my right to be sure that no manager or member was here in the corridor.
I took the key which was hidden in the letterbox and crept quietly into the apartment into the direction of chenles room, I saw a small light coming from his room and knocked before I entered.
a little purple-haired young chinese boy under the blanket half-hidden with a sweet long-sleeved piyama grinned at me. "Do you have the snacks?" he laughed and I nodded only while I looked around the room. on the other bed lay jisung, sleeping with headphones.Thanks god i thought to myself knowing he wont bother us.

I sat under the blanket next to chenle which began to eat the butter honey chips and quietly gave noises of itself.
I watched him for a while, as the fat on his lips showed, his head on my shoulder and crumples all over his face.
I his lips the fat and the cripple away before I the finger.
he looked at me in surprise. Long. before beginning to laugh and pull me beside him.
he was warm and soft, as I imagined. I did not really move,the backside of his head lay on one side of my chest and he smiled "You're warmer than jisung" He said while he made himself more comfortable. and I just smiled. I looked at him for a while. I could see in his eyes satisfaction but also pain.
the same pain I felt. for him it must be even harder, his family lives abroad. he is lonely and needy. like me. we are more alike  like some people think but we do not talk about it. it is enough for us when we know it and that is it. I pulled him after long hesitate onto me and wring my arms around his hips "Does it feel nice?" I asked him nervously but also satisfied, his warmth felt good, and I thought maybe he likes it too, longing for affection.

we looked into each other eyes for a while,him resting his forhead on mine and he smiled whispering "I like that" some may think now this is weird,or gay. but i dont care,i will propably never care. because as long as i am here with him,things will be fine. On moments like this,where i can feel his soft pale skin on my own,his sweet voice in my ears i know that i never didnt cared about who would love,touch me. it was chenle,it was always chenle from which i longd for love and attention.Deep inside me i knew,i could always have had him. But sometimes i got overwhelmed by my insecurity. But right here,right now i knew that it was right,right what i wanted.I pressed our lips togheter,softly and slowly as if he was made of glass. His lips where soft,a little oily with the taste of butter honey and a little bit of milk. It was kind of weird,but incerdibly warm and soft. My belly tingled and my body felt hot.Some time has passed since i felt this the last tim. But i knew that this was the feeling of home.I was where i belonged to be. Chenle was my family,my love,my friend and everything i ever longed for.

"we should hang out more often.."

So this was my second oneshot. Did you like it kkk?

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