I was broken, I was lost.

I made a decision. I left my career in the Philippines. 

I trained hard. 

And now, I'm here. 

"Unnie."

"Chaerin. Wassup?!" I really love your music, it makes me calm and happy. You know, I am your no. 1 fan. 

"Thank you for coming. You didn't know how much it means to me."

"I cannot refuse your invitation. You know how much you mean to me." I tried to hide it. But sometimes, i am forgetting that i'm just yor fan, your friend. 

I caught you smiled, an unknown smile. Maybe, you'd become suspicious on how the way I'm talking to you lately. Am I that obvious, already? 

I like you, ever since. 

But from the way I see it, when you hold me, when you touch me. It wasn't the same as how I touched you. I barely do that because I'm scared I might fall for you harder. I tried to hide it as much as I could. I would go to other countries, to have some time alone, to think. But most of the time, I will end up following you, because, I always missing you. 

You know what, Bom once told me that I shouldn't look at you that way coz others might catch me doing that. Bom asked me if I like you, I said yes, but I never really said what I'm exactly feeling for you. I'm so scared. 

Remember during that concert, you slipped and banged you head on the floor, and you still tried to shrug it off. I was so worried. I forgot the lyrics of the song as I watched you get up. After the performance, We were all approach you and asked if you're okay. 

You're cheeks are swollen coz the shades was the first one to hit the deck. It was almost crack because of the impact. You tried to explain to us that you're just fine but we pushed you to go to the hospital. 

Nobody knows how worried I am to you that time. 

You see.. I'm afraid to lose you. Whenever I miss you, I would follow and visit you wherever you are. That's how important you are to me. 

And that's also the reason why I'm afraid to tell you what I'm feeling. 

Sometimes, I'll be just content of gazing at you from afar without you knowing it. You were going to have a phone conversation with somebody, you'll excuse yourself, walks at the corner and talk to that person. When you told me about Ash, I was heartbroken. Like, I didn't know how you did like him. Is he even worth your time? 

This was the time I stayed in the Philippines, there was an offer to me. I took it because I want to be away from you for a moment. I realized we're better off that way. 

But you called me one night, you told me, you broke up with him. I was curious so I asked you what could be the problem. You said, you don't love him that much. You even joked that you're inlove with somebody else. 

"Unnie, what should I do? He's calling me." You told me, regarding on your other phone. 

"If you want to talk with him, better answer it."

"I don't want to."

"Don't you miss him?"

"I do." 

"Then stop acting like you don't care about him." 

"I'm not acting, unnie. I just missed our memories, but not really him." You corrected. 

I sighed. "Why are we actually talking about him?" I got tired. I got pissed. 

"You sounded differently. Is something happened?" You must heard my tone. 

"Nothing. Nothing happened."

"You want to sleep already?"

"Can I?"

"Sure. Go ahead. I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"It's-" You ended the call. You sounded mad. I felt guilty. 

Because of this jealousy inside me, I forgot that I'm your friend, and that you need me more than anybody else. You were sad and lonely. You didn't know what to do. You were confused. 

It came to the point that.. we hated each other. You often text or call me. 

I really felt bad. So, I contacted you and eventually I followed you in New York. I even posted our reunion in IG, hoping that it would ease that pain we caused for each other. 

We stayed in one room, in one bed. You were exhausted, we just ate, take a rest and you slept. I was just there, staring at you while you sleep. You really look like a baby when you sleep. I always want to touch your face,I always want to.. kiss you. 

"Just once." I whispered. Then, i slowly leaning forward to you with closed eyes. Those lips, I want to taste those. And so I did. I was leaning my lips to yours when suddenly you moaned. I almost felt like I was struck by a lightning. Sighing in relief when I realized that you were still asleep. "Damn. I almost caught." I smiled and let myself drown looking at your face. 

Beginning that day. The taste of your lips never left my mind. I felt awkward all of a sudden. But it didnt stop me to make you feel how much I missed you. I went to watch your first concert as a solo artist. I was so proud of you, I feel like, I was your girlfriend, whenever you will sing a song and you're directly looking at me with those eyes. 

Those eyes which I love to stare at. 

"Unnie? Unnie?! Harin?! Where are you guys?" Remember when you got drunk in a bar? Oh god.. Harin posted a video of you hugging me. I was laughing hard because you were so drunk. 

"Amm.. Chae, Chae. CL-roo!" I raised my voice coz it seems like you're still asleep. You straightened your body and open your widely. "Harin went out to buy some meds. I made you soup. Are you alright? Headache? Hangover?"

"Hangover." You murmured then you grab me by the neck. "What did I do last night?" I widened my eyes and stopped myself from breathing coz our faces was just an inch away from each other. "Have I done something bad?" 

"Amm.. Let me go first then I tell you." I looked away, feeling my cheeks reddens. 

"Okay, wait.. are you blushing?"

"Ha? Blu-blushing? Where?" You grinned and began teasing me.

"Look at those cheeks." Suddenly, Harin entered the room. "Harin. Look at Dara's cheeks." You pulled Harin and told her to grab me. I looked at Harin, trying to look away but it's too late. 

"Omo~ Unnie.. What happened to you? Are you sick?" Unexpectedly, that was Harin is thinking. And that made you think too. 

"Sick? Can I see?" You got worried and you rushed to check my temperature. "Harin, where's the meds?" You went to check the paper bag Harin putted on the table. 

I came to realized that I was having a fever. You took care of me during those days that I got sick. 

"Unnie."

"Hmm?"

"Come here." You pulled me by the hand. "Look at the sky." 

"Wow!" I exclaimed. 

"Beautiful, right?" I nodded a head as I hear you speaks. "Just like you." It made me turned my head to look at you. Finding only that you were actually staring at me. I widened my eyes when you suddenly raised your arm and palmed my right cheek. "There's a dirt." You wipes something using your thumb. We both chuckled. 

"Amm.." I lost my words. 

"What?"

"Amm.. I just want to thank you. For everything."

"Everything? Are you saying goodbye?" You frowned, you were confused all of a sudden.

"No. No.. I'm just thankful that you're always there for me." 

"Tsk. You're so dramatic. Is there something that you wanna tell me?"

"Amm.."

"Come on, Dara. Just tell me." I'm afraid when you started speaking in English, coz I know whenever you speak in that language, you will became serious. 

Honestly, I really want to confess to you on that time. But, i'm not brave enough. Luckily, Harin arrived, announcing that she brought Jiyong over the house. 

"Annyeong~ Hello guys!" That was Jiyong's voice. 

"Let's talk about this next time." You told me before approaching Jiyong. 

I don't know what to say, I'm confused too. How will you react if I tell you my feelings for you? Should I get drunk to gain some confidence? 

Will it work?

"I like this song. I think you should include this to your upcoming album." We settled down the floor, Jiyong brought some drinks. He told us that he wants to catch with us.Are you planning to write some?"

"Hopefully. Soon." You said making Jiyong chuckled. 

"Still broken?" He teased you.

"I don't think she is." Harin suddenly slipped into conversation. "Unnie is happy. You can ask Dara-unnie." Harin smiled at me teasingly. 

"Woahh. So I guess I'm missing something here? What's going on? Is Dara noona's pudong dating someone else already?"

"Ha?" I felt confused. Coz honestly, I didn't know if you are dating someone already after Ash. 

"Who is it? So I can meet him and warn him not to hurt our queen or else.." Jiyong punched his own palm. ".. He's dead." You and Harin both laughed. 

"You're always protective." I murmured. 

"I should be. It's a must." I like Jiyong, but not as much as I like you. Whenever he would tease me, I would always thought about Cheundong, my brother. 

I'm aware about the fans pairing us, actually, Jiyong and I are enjoying it. But we already clear it to each other that we're going to be just friends. 

"Hey, Dara noona."

"Hm?"

"Take care of our Pudong. She's still sad. Make her happy." 

"She's my Pudong. Not yours." I joked at him. 

"I know. I'm just teasing you, Aren't you jealous?" You were at the kitchen with Harin. 

"Why would I'd be jealous?"

"I don't know. I just felt that, you should be jealous."

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe?" Jiyong laughed. 

"Crazy."

"Well.. I'll go ahead."

"Can you drive."

"I can. Don't worry." 

Sometimes I'm thinking, What if Jiyong is the one I'm liking with and not Chaerin? 

"Take care, Oppa!" Both You and Harin shouted before Jiyong gets into his car. 

That's one thing that fans didn't know. Off cam, we were all friends. I called it, true friendship. 

Just think about it, if I only see Jiyong as my younger brother, why it is different from how I see you? I'm looking like a fool just thinking about it. 

As the years goes by, my feelings for you is still the same. I thought it will change when I don't see you more often. But i would always find myself texting you, you know I don't like calls. You will felt annoyed and you will call me telling me to call you instead. 

"Hey unnie. You should learn to call me. You know I don't like using my fingers tapping my phone screen." You said when we had this moment to talk. 

"Well.. cut your nails."

"I love my nails."

"I love your nails too." I smiled. 

"What about me?" You caught me off guard. I was speechless. 

"Of course, I do love you." I really do. And I love you, so much. If only I could tell you that. 

"I do love you too.. Dara." You said in a serious voice. I was surprised coz you barely call me by my name. Especially, Dara. When did the last time you called me that way? Ahh.. Yeah. During the earthquake in Japan. You called me and you were so worried. 'Dara, stay there, I'll be there soon.' I remember. "Yeah.. I'll just finish this." It's time for you to get back in work. "Unnie, I have to go. Take care always, I'll see you soon."

"Soonest."

"Okay, soonest. Bye."

"Bye."

I was happy hearing your voice again. In some ways, I realized I have an enough reason to like of calling someone through phone. Especially if it's always you whom I whill share a phone conversation with. 

After some few days, I arrived at the airport. We made a video in your hotel room. Remember? 

"Where do you want to go? I have an enough time to be with you."

"Enough.. Time?" You were helping with my luggage. Unpacking my things.

"We re-scheduled some of the recordings. And.. well.. they knew I was tired so they ended up rescheduling some of my activities."

"That's great." I smiled at you and you returned the same smile. "I'm happy to see you." I bowed a head to show you how glad I am to see you. You just smiled and hugged me all of a sudden. It caught me off guard. I didn't see that coming. 

"It's really hard. I.. I'm exhausted. They thought I'm leaving you, Bom and Minzy. They though I'm bad. Unnie. It hurts."

"Chae." I hugged you as soon as I realized what you were talking about. You were in pain, and the others thought you were selfish. They thought you are that happy. I see, you weren't. You're feeling empty. "Let it out." You cried on my shoulders. You cried hard. 

You fell asleep after. I stayed, beside you, staring at you while you sleep. I sighed when I thought about my intentions of bringing myself to where you are. You know, I'm hurting too. People barely see you cry because you will always hide it. You're that kind of person. You want them to think that you're strong. 

And so, 2ne1 disbandment came. 

We shoot our last mv with Bom. I stayed at the corner, thinking. I heard your voice. You know what I'm thinking, you know how painful it is for me. Coz you know my struggles of putting the best of me in this industry. You were there, watching me and encouraging me to lift up myself. 

I cried on your shoulders. You let me cried until I broke down in tears. You hold me tightly, making sure I'll let it all out. You were the ones who's always been there. How can I forget you? How can I just forget what I'm feeling towards you?

Until.. that moment came. 

You told me.. you love me. 

"Unnie?"

"Hmm?"

"Amm.."

"Can you.. call me Dara instead?"

"Why?"

"It just sounded awkward. Like.. we just kissed like.. few minutes ago?" 

"Amm.."

"Oh sorry.. I'm.. I'm.. I mean-" You kissed me, harder this time. So I just closed my eyes and let simmer this moments between us. Just kissing, no other intentions, even if our destination now is actually a perfect place for a honeymoon.

"What's that?"

"Ha? Why did you stop?"

"Unnie.. I heard something."

"Where?" Suddenly you leaned your face on the wall, it was actually the divider for rooms. "Whaa-"

"What is that?"

"They're doing something.. here.. next to our room." You looked so distracted, and innocent. That's the time I realized that you're sill young. 

You made me laugh. You forgot about our kiss because of it. 

"Let's sleep, Chaerin. Come on~"

"How can I sleep?" You are paranoid. 

"I'll you." 

"No way." That's a joke. She's innocent though. 

*****

So that's the main story of Chaera. I know it wasn't that detailed, and I really change Dara's Pov coz you might already read it from Chaerin's. And since they are different persons, everything shall be change. 

About the Palawan trip~ (thanks for the suggestion) I might watch Daratv again so I would know how should I make the attack for the final chapter. 

Thanks everyone for giving some time to read this one shot fic. I will try to write new ones in the future. For now, I will continue my ongoing fics. 

:))