Night One.

 

‘Powder.’

“Here,” Luhan said as he handed Kai a small satchel.

“Weights.”

“All set up and prepared for you.”

“And how’s the seating today?” asked Sehun.

“A little over half filled.”

‘And still the king sits on his throne refusing change or help...”

The Kaiander brothers were a brawny pair of brothers known as the strongmen. Kai, the manly brunette mumbled thanks while Sehun, the more meticulous and clean blond gave him a nod. Dressed in their colourful leotards, they appeared from behind the curtains, the twins walked onto a dimly lit stage and were greeted by an audible applause with murmurs of curiosity. With a deep bow, they began their routine, like the many times before. Sehun took a deep breath and grasped Kai’s hand as the steady tribal drum began, giving him a nod when he was ready, in one swift movement Sehun swung himself up into a handstand atop Kai’s hands. The audience watched as Sehun balanced himself steadily, then, slowly, he withdrew his left hand leaving the crowd in awe as the brothers balanced on a hand each. Sehun’s thick muscles shook visibly under the strain as he supported himself. The air was thick with suspense as the audience seemingly forgot to breathe. The beating of the drums was palpable as it echoed into the crowd’s chest and it was not until Sehun was safely back on the ground did anyone dare to exhale. Continuing, one after another their amazing feats of strength and balance caused the audience to 'ooh' and 'aah' and when they bowed at the end, they were greeted once more by a round of applause.

“Luhan darling.” summoned a seductively soft voice.

“Yes Miss Taeyeon?”

“Be a dear and go fetch me my parasol, I seemed to have misplaced it somewhere outside.”

“Of course,” replied Luhan, after all, who could say no to Taeyeon. Luhan quickly ran to the back of the tent where he found the impractical white-laced parasol, propped up against some crates.

Taeyeon finished her makeup with a crimson lip and thanked Luhan with a peck on the cheek leaving his cheek red. Opening her parasol and resting it upon her shoulder she gave a little twirl, captivating everyone in the room, “how do I look?” she asked. Taeyeon’s already long slender legs were accentuated more so by the vertical stripes on her stockings, which didn’t quite reach her black and white tutu, showing off a sliver of her pale ness. Her matching corset pressed against her every curve and in the candlelight, her long red hair glowed like dying embers in the night. Beneath her gaze, all that reflected upon the amber of her eyes were captured.

“Doll... Taeyeon, you look just like a doll,” Luhan mumbled.

Luhan watched from a gap behind the grand red curtains as the ringmaster announced Taeyeon.

“And now ladies... and gentlemen.” another loud whistle blew out from the crowd followed by a low rumble of chuckles from the men. “Our lovely... Lady Taeyeon!” a low roar came from the crowd, mostly from men. “Now now, everyone, Lady Taeyeon has asked me to tell you to hold on to your seats as she attempts to walk across this treacherous... tantalisingly dangerous!... heart stopping-ly preposterous!!” his voice echoed into a crescendo before suddenly dropping into almost whisper “teeny tiny tightrope.” The crowd gasped as the lights suddenly went out, and slowly, their attention was drawn to a small glow that began to grow, way up high. It grew brighter and brighter to reveal Taeyeon posing upon a platform with a rope extending to the other side.

Taeyeon knew how to work her audience as she gave them a wink and blew a kiss causing the men to woo and the women to scowl. The music began to play, an suspenseful tune, and with her first step on the rope, she took hostage upon the viewer's courage.

With her tiny parasol at hand, Taeyeon posed for a moment before stepping onto the tightrope with such poise and ease, as if she were just strolling down a street. Every few steps she would feign a slight loss in balance, a little teeter, a wobble, causing a few shrieks and gasps from the crowd. In reality Taeyeon was in full command, not only of her balance but the crowd, pulling at their strings like a puppeteer, making them dance on the edge of their seats.

The night went on and performance after performance the audience cheered for more. They were amazed by the precision of Baekhyun’s knife throwing aim, laughed till their belly ached from the BTS acrobatic family and held their breath when the ringmaster put his head between the deathly jaws of the lion 'Bob'. All through the show Luhan could be seen running in-between acts assuring everything ran smoothly.

It was well past midnight by the time Luhan finished clearing the stage from the ringmaster’s final act. With his legs like lead, he dragged himself to his tent and dropped onto his bed, unsure if he had the strength or desire to get changed before he slept.

“You work yourself too hard,” Baekhyun spoke from his bed, his bespectacled eyes not lifting from the book he was reading, “it’ll be the death of you.”

“Quiet, I need quiet…,” Luhan replied, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“You really should ask the ringmaster to put you on the show instead, you’re wasted as an errand boy.”

“You think I don’t want to? I don’t have time for the stage. What are you trying to do? Kill me?”

“Ask him to upgrade you to performer, and quit being a pushover. Errand boy.”

“I’ve told him, I’ve been keeping this troupe from falling apart since I was seven... that’s eight years of my life. I told him to find someone else to help me so I can focus on performing and all he ever says is to ‘give me time to find a replacement’ It’s always the same.”

Baekhyun closed his book and blew out the lamp. “Pushover.”

“Shut up” Luhan tediously lifted the heavier than they should be blankets over himself as he quickly fell asleep from exhaustion.

-

 

The next morning Luhan rose begrudgingly as birds began to chirp. The grey and dreary weather did little to help Luhan wake up but with one foot in front of the other, Luhan got changed, brushed his hair and teeth, all the while Baekhyun slept in.

 

“C’mon boy get a move on!” the ringmaster ushered in with a spring in his step, “If you don’t get your morning chores done we won’t make it in time for breakfast!”

 

Glaring at the ringmaster’s back, Luhan quickly went about his daily routine. First he would clean all the costumes, praying that a full day’s worth of sunshine would dry them before the following show. Next he would brush and feed the animals, namely the horses and Bob the lion, who always seemed quite snappy when not fed on time. When he was done with that he would hastily make his way to the kitchen to help Chef prepare breakfast, more often than not, behind schedule.

 

“Late again dear-y,” chimed Chef as he rushed in, late.

 

“Hush mother Hubbard,” Luhan replied to the jolly old lady.

 

“Why so blue dear? Here, take this an’ turn that frown upside down.” Chef pushed a sugar cube into Luhan’s mouth before putting her finger to her lips in secrecy.

 

“You can’t bribe me with food.” Luhan grumbled, but regardless picking up his pace with a lighter mood.

 

By the time the rest of the troupe, including a rather bed hair ridden Baekhyun, got up, Luhan and Chef had already prepared breakfast and were at one of the tables eating.

 

“Smells absolutely divine Chef, what’s for breakfast today?” Taeyeon, as usual, was looking prim and perfect having gotten up early as well to make herself presentable.

 

“Vegetable Stew, go get yerself a bowl, extra delicious from them beautiful potatoes I got from the peddler the other day.”

 

A little after Taeyeon, Kai and Sehun joined in.

 

“No meat,” grumbled Kai while Sehun hushed him.

 

“Sorry dear, I’m savin’ it fer dinner.”

 

“Chef, how do you expect us to be strong men without some meat?” Kai seemed to become more irritated by the second.

 

With a loud bang, Luhan slammed his now empty bowl onto the table catching everyone’s attention. “If you want to be picky with your food, then help out in the mornings.” Luhan said coldly “I would be happy for you to help out in the kitchen instead of complaining after doing nothing all morning. Now I’d suggest you quiet down and eat your stew. If you’ll excuse me I still have chores to do!” And with a huff Luhan left the dining tent leaving the rest of them in an awkward silence at the table.

 

After breakfast Luhan quickly returned to his routine chores, running between cleaning and polishing the equipment, maintenance and tending to the requests of the other members of the troupe. “Luhan, have you cleaned the cannon yet?” “Luhan the ropes need tightening.” “Luhan have you washed my leotard?” Luhan would be running around, busy as a bee.

 

-

 

“You’ll work yourself to death sonny boy.”

 

“Not everyone has such a cushy job as you Madam Kyungsoo.”

 

“It’s only cushy when their fortunes are good, boy, try telling some stones for brains bad news and they take it to offense. I am only the messenger.”

 

“Then deliver me some good fortune Madam.”

 

“I only read the fortune of paying customers, boy.”

 

With a sigh Luhan rummaged inside his pocket and pulled out an apple “here, payment.”

 

Taking the apple Madam Kyungsoo pulled out a leaf from her gaudy purple robe and threw it into the air before watching it fall back to the earth. “Hmm... hmm... I see, I see,” she murmured.

 

“Well? What is it?”

 

“The higher you rise, the further you fall.”

 

“And?”

 

“That’s it.”

 

“That’s it? You just threw a leaf into the air and said some things.”

 

“What can I say? I work in mysterious ways. Besides, that’s all you get for an apple, boy.”

 

With a deep sigh Luhan thanked Madam Kyungsoo, who sent him off with a wink, to continue the chores that awaited Luhan.

 

-

 

The sun had begun to set by the time Luhan finally entered the training tent. Though his arms were tired and his feet ached, he dragged himself towards the balancing beam and began his stretches.

 

“Hello hello, and why are we so late to the party?” taunted Tiffany.

 

“Tiffany, don’t tease.”

 

“But Yoona, I was only playing, right Luhan?”

 

Luhan glanced at the two girls disinterestedly. Tiffany, the brunette hid her snickering behind her hand haphazardly while Yoona seemed to be more preoccupied with her hair, examining the blonde ends with great fascination.

 

“You know perfectly well we shouldn’t tease the errand boy. Now come, we’ve done enough for today I want you to brush my hair before dinner.”

 

And as Yoona began to leave, Tiffany, snickering followed behind. Without a second thought, a bemused Luhan kicked a juggling ball he had brought with him beneath Tiffany causing her to slip and fall face first into the ground.

 

“You!” Tiffany got up angrily, glaring at Luhan.

 

“I didn’t know you and the ground were so well acquainted” Luhan replied sarcastically.

 

With a sigh Yoona dragged a fuming Tiffany out of the tent all the while shouting profanities at Luhan.

 

With a triumphant smirk, Luhan picked up the juggling balls, jumped onto the balancing beam and began juggling while he paced, a habit he picked up when he wanted to clear his thoughts.

 

Though it was late in the afternoon the room was occupied a few others looking to refine their skills with some afternoon training. The Kaiander brothers lifting their weights, Taeyeon stretched her in a small corner of the tent and Baekhyun concentrated on sharpening his knives. But Luhan was no longer aware as he was in a world of his own. His own little state of mind where he envisioned a cup b with water, and if he were to pay attention to anything else, that cup would overflow and his trance, broken.

 

Suddenly, there came wail of pain and the water spilled. Quickly he realised the cries came from Taeyeon, rushing to her with everyone else she could be seen grasping at her leg.

 

“Ow ow ow! Cramp!” She cried.

 

“Are you okay Taeyeon? Baekhyun go get the ringmaster,” ordered Sehun.

 

“Here let me help you,” Kai lifted her up and carried her to the benches to lie down and began to message her calf “How bad does it hurt?”

 

“Quite bad, it hurts when I move it.”

 

“Will you be able to perform tomorrow?” Questioned Sehun.

 

“Not if I want to risk falling on stage. We’ll have to put another act on darling.”

 

“Who are you going to find? It’s the finale show for Denford, everyone’s in it.” voiced Kai.

 

“They’ll have to do without my part then darling, they won’t miss one act amongst all those other performances.”

 

“You’re one of the main casts and you’re advertised on the poster. They will notice.”

 

“Oh Kai darling, you compliment me so,” Taeyeon giggled.

 

“I wasn’t complimenting you,” Kai said gruffly under his breath.

 

The sound of running footsteps preceded by Baekhyun and a puffing ringmaster, his moustache askew “What’s all this? What’s with all the ruckus?”

 

“It’s Taeyeon, she’s hurt her leg” replied Baekhyun.

 

“Oh dear, let me take a look,” The ringmaster examined Taeyeon’s leg and as he extended it she winced slightly at the pain. “Looks like the show will be shorter tonight.”

 

“See darling, what did I tell you,” Taeyeon said knowingly to Sehun.

 

“What if someone takes her place?” piped in Luhan.

 

“Who?” questioned the ringmaster “you have someone in mind?”

 

“Me?” Luhan replied.

 

“Look Luhan, I know you’ve practiced hard, but you have no experience being on the stage let alone a main act and I hardly think a grand finale is the time to do so.”

 

“I HAVE been training on my own, I may not have Taeyeon’s experience on the tightrope but I’ve been training and I think I can do it!”

 

“Preposterous. Just because you can walk along a balancing beam you think you have what it takes to do so across a tightrope in front of an audience? You may have some skill and determination, but son, Rome wasn’t built in a day and the performance is the day after tomorrow. I will not have you making a fool of yourself.”

 

“A fool? Is that how you see me? You just don’t want to see me succeed by myself. You just want to keep me as some sort of lackey, You always say you’ll put me on stage soon, but you never give me an opportunity to prove myself!” The years of built up resentment seemed to be bubbling to the surface as Luhan’s voice rose. “You just don’t want me to do better! You just want me to stay as your little orphan errand boy forever!”

 

Luhan glared at the ringmaster furiously, while the cold blue eyes of the ringmaster remained so. “Taeyeon, watch over him will you? I don’t want the boy killing himself,” he said simply “also, don’t let him be the closing act... we want to finish on a high after all.” The ringmaster slowly walked out of the tent leaving Luhan infuriated.

 

“I’ll show him... I’ll make him eat his words. Taeyeon, you must help me walk across that rope.”

 

“But of course, darling...” Taeyeon said warily.

 

-

 

“Welcome to the Circus de lavie!” the ringmaster greeted the adoring audience. “Boy have we got a show for you all! Be ready to have the time of your life as we entertain you!”

 

The lights were brighter than Luhan remembered as behind the curtains he watched, his heart rate increasing by the minute. It’s not that he had never been on stage before but he had always been the jester doing small tricks, juggling, backflips and the likes behind a ghostly mask. But now he stood in a tight white leotard wearing a blue tail coat with gold embroidery, looking like the young prince of the circus begging to be the centre of attention.

 

With little sleep under his eyes, he had practiced hard. With his skills as an acrobat, it wasn’t impossible, but still it was a monumental task. However, through the slipping and falling, he had succeeded. Now with a gleeful smile he stood, a performer ready to walk across that that rope into a new world and show the ringmaster he had been wrong.

 

One by one the members of the troupe performed and slowly fear began to creep under Luhan’s skin, the crowd seemed more daunting than he had ever seen them. And finally he heard the words he had been anticipating “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Now, may I present you... with his debut performance ... the death defying antics of... er... Amazing Luhan!”

 

High up upon the platform Luhan stood, the audience looked no bigger than ants. The lights were more dazzling and than he had remembered and as everyone waited for his first step, silence fell and then Luhan could hear everything. His heart was tremendously loud, beating in his ears and he began to question his eyesight as he thought the rope was swaying ever so slightly. His palms started to perspire and as he edged closer to the rope, a whisper came to him, ‘but what if I were to fall?’

Taking a deep breath, Luhan reassured himself of the countless hours he had practiced and the clear success he had by the end of it. ‘But accidents can happen... can’t they?’ and then failure ebbed into his mind, they echoed to his limbs and fear seeped into his courage. His breathing quickened and his body began to tremble, he didn’t remember the scaffold being up so high, that there were so many people in the audience... and that there was so far to fall.

 

From amongst the audience Taeyeon gleamed. She had never seen someone pick up something so quick. Luhan had understood her instructions well and his knowledge of his own body and its abilities meant it didn’t take long for him to successfully walk across that rope. She was proud to say the least, not only of him but more so herself, for a great student can only become so from an even greater teacher. But as she watched she began to get worried, Luhan had stood at the edge of the platform for a lot longer than he usually would. The ringmaster must have thought so too and with a nod, the drums began to crescendo in anticipation.

 

And so Taeyeon squealed in excitement when Luhan took his first step, grinned proudly when he made it half way, gasped when he began to falter and then, she screamed with everyone else when he fell. From up where the dazzling lights were, Luhan fell, the earth rushed to meet him and then, the lights went out.