JIMIN P.O.V.

 

Dream.

Everyone ask kids: What is your dream? They'll probably answer that question easily. Some of them want to be doctors, pilots, singers, ... But it's a bit different when you ask teenager :What is your dream? I think when you're a teenager this question is the most difficult one. Some of them have their dreams and they keep reaching. They study hard and try to be the best in school. They work hard.

What about others? Those who doesn't have dreams. They don't know what they wanna do in life. What are their secret talents? What if they think they're talentless and because of that they think they're useless.

I'm that kind of person. I don't have dream. I don't have a hobby that makes me happy and I'm good at it.

I think I'm talentless and that makes me think I'm also useless. I have low self esteem. I just dislike myself. I dislike my personality. I dislike my looks.

I want to change myself...

I remember when my life turned 360 around. I was walking down a corridor when I heard loud music. I looked through the window. I saw one boy dancing. He was amazing. His moves were just the 10 out of 10. His angelic smile. He was really beautiful. I was so caught up in my thoughts till I heard an angelic voice.

»Hey you can come inside. You don't have to look at me through the window.«

I slowly grabed a door knob and step inside dance room.

»Hey. I'm sorry. Did I disturb you?«

»No, not at all. I'm used to an audience.«

Woah really? Of course. I'm so stupid. He must preform a lot. How dumb am I that I didn't already noticed him.

»I'm a street dancer. I'm Hoseok. What's your name?«

»I I'm uhh Jimin.. Yeah Park Jimin.« I Stuttered. What's wrong with me?!

»You don't need to be shy around me Jimin *wink*« I blushed.

God what is wrong with me?! I just blushed and I feel my face is getting red. Why it's so hot in here?

»Did you just blush Jimin-ah?«

»I did not!« I tried to deny.

»Whatever makes you sleep at night sweety.«

Is he flirting with me right now?

»Amm anyway.. umm I have to go now.« I tried to leave. My heart was beatting fast and I sweat a lot.

»Already? Don't you wanna see my new dance rutine?«

New dance rutine?! Does he want that I get a heart attack or something?

»Umm I'm sorry..but I really have to go.. I ..ahmm..I promised my roommate to help him with homework.« I just lied. I never lied before.

He makes me feel something I never felt before.

»Ahh okay. I guess I'll see you around Jimin.«

»Yeah we can meet again.« What is wrong with me?! I just met him a couple of minutes ago and I want to see him again.

»You know where you can find me Jimin *smirk*«

»Bye Hoseok!« I quickly run out of dance room.

He really is something. Why I feel like that? I feel butterflies in my tummy. Jimin focus!

Park Jimin you should focus on school. You can't fall in love. I just forgot all my bad thoughts about myself. But now that he's not around. My low self esteem thoughts are back.

God I just forgot. I'm ugly. He probably just wants to make fun out of me. He is probably famous around campus and I'm just nerd who is fat. I need to loose weight. I should go on diet and sign into gym class. Yeah I'll do that tomorrow.

It was a week. I lost about 3kg. I was fine. Till I saw him again in canteen. I have to leave. Sadly I was to late. I heard his angelic voice once again.

»Jimin wait! Where are you going? Join me and my friends over there.«

»Hoseok it's fine. You can go back to your friend. I don't want to bother you or your friends.«

»You won't bother us Jimin. Come on. Pleasee«

He made those puppy eyes and his gorgeous smile that made my heart race.«

»Oh okay.«

»Well SeokJin, Namjoon, Yoongi can I get your attention please. He's Jimin. I met him a week ago.«

»Oh you're that famous Park Jimin. He talks about you everyday.« SeokJin said.

No way Hoseok talked about me?!

»Hyung!You should keep that as a secret.« Hoseok whispered.

»Sorry man. My bad haha.« Hoseok looked like he wants to punch Seokjin.

»Why don't you ask him out on date Hoseok?« Now Yoongi said.

»Hyungg.. Shhh!« I can see Hoseok is embarrassed.

»Aww man. You like him. You're a fool in love.« Namjoon sang.

His friends are nice. I like them already. I can see they like to tease Hobi. WAIT DID I JUST GIVE HIM A NICKNAME?!

»Let's go somewhere else. Bye dumbos.« Hoseok said and grabed my hand.

He just held my hand. I was so happy at that time.

We started dating after a month. Hoseok was the best boyfriend. He was so caring and I felt loved.

I just enjoyed watching him dance. Slowly I tired to dance. He taught me and soon I become good at it. Dance became my passion. Hoseok helped me to change myself. I became bright person. Who had his dreams.

I realize dance is what I want to do my whole life. To be a dancer is my dream. But my dream is not to dance alone. I want to dance next to Hoseok. I don't wanna dance if he is not around.

As I said I was happy but one thing still bothered me. I still had low self esteem. I just disliked my looks. When I lay in my bed I often thought about it. What if Hoseok will leave me because I'm fat and he will find someone skinny. In fact I wasn't so fat I had 61kg it was just in my head that I'm fat.

I used to skip meals and the worst thing I did to Hoseok: I lied to him. I lied I already ate, that I'm not hungry. I spent more hours in gym and danced.

That night I went into dance room alone. I needed to relax. Dance was the one thing I loved. Hoseok was 1st in my heart. He was and he'll always be.

I knew he loved me. It's just.. My inner demons kept telling me how he disliked me. At that night many thoughts flooded through my mind. Only bad thoughts like: You don't deserve him, You're not worth, look at you how ugly you are.

Once before I met Hoseok. I..I tried to drown myself in bath tub. My friend Taehyung saved me at that time.

I tried to dance more. When I looked at clock it was past midnight. I danced for more than 4hours. Suddenly I felt dizzy, my vision started to blurry. Next moment I met with darkness.

I tried to open my eyes. There was a strong light. I heard Hoseok's voice and there was someone's voice I didn't recognize.

»Doctor what is wrong with him?!«

Wait I'm in hospital?! I kept my eyes shut.

»Please calm down young man. Boy fainted because of overpressure and It looks like he skipped meals.«

»Is he going to be alright doctor?«

»He'll probably have to stay in hospital for 3 days and then he'll be discarged.«

»Thank you doctor.«

»That my work boy. Then I'll excuse myself. Goodbye«

»Goodbye doctor.«

After doctor left I've opened my eyes.«

»Jimin?!! Jimin why did you lie to me? Did you try to loose weight?! WHY?!« I hear in Hoseok's voice that he's angry but at the same time worried.

»Hoseok.. I.. I'm sorry.. I wanted to look prettier for you. I thought you would leave me because I'm not skinny.«

»Jimin! For god sake you're so skinny..I can see your collarbones.«

»I .. I'm sorry Hoseok.«

»Jimin I can't believe you lied.«Hoseok turned away and walked to the door.«

»Hoseok please.. Please stay.. I'm sorry.« I whispered.

»Jimin I need time. You lied.« After that Hoseok leaved. Now I couldn't hold my tears back.

»I lied because there's no way someone like me could be loved. I'm sorry Hoseok. Please come back.« I whispered.