August 14, 2017  2:00 pm

Ji Chang Wook waved goodbye to his fans and said his sad goodbye to his friend-manager...he looked forlonly out on the sea of spectator for that one face he was longing to see before he gets in..."she's not here" he thought with bitter smile and added "what were you thinking? you broke up with her you fool!"

Last night...he didn't know how he arrived home...his mother was already asleep when he went upstairs...to his bedroom...collapsed on his bed and weep..."I did the right thing?" like a mantra he continuously utter to himself

"I don't want to be selfish, I want her to be happy" he convinced himself

....but to his dismay the truth really shook him

"No! honestly I am really selfish and a coward...I don't want to bet on love and lost, I'm afraid to get hurt...she's still young...with many possibilities in life...what if?....I don't want to be burdened with the what ifs....I simply can't take it if she'll forget about me...at least now I've already set her free, it'll be easier to accept whatever...if ever..." he wanted to slap himself like crazy

...for even after what was said and done

"God! I miss her...I really miss her" he blurted with submission.

Days went on a routine in the training camp...today was just like yesterday...night is as tedious as day....but there is this particular day in every month that the day becomes extra special...package from Seoul arrived every 13th of every month since he started at this battallion.

"Sir, your package just arrived" his private informed him.

He hurriedly went to the post office to receive his package...

"It's from Ji hyun-ah again" he smiled excitedly, he quickly opened it and found updated pictures of Nam Ji Hyun, expensive toiletries, and vitamins.

He perused on the pictures smiling like a fool while tracing the face of Ji hyun. "She gets prettier every month...I really miss her". Another 4 months and he will be able to see Ji hyun again. We will start all over again...I will love her for the rest of my life.

Barely 4 months before Ji Chang Wook's discharge....Manager Bang with his friend Tae Joon was there to visit him with lots of food...

Ji Chang Wook cautiously asked about Nam Ji Hyun "Hyung, do you have any news about Ji hyun-ah? How was she coping with her studies now? Did she made another movie?" he asked his manager.

"What's with you? Why are you asking about her all of sudden? Did you dream about her last night? his manager retorted...Tae Joon was dumb founded with Chang Wook's successive barrage of questions.

He didn't tell his manager about the monthly packages and neither he's willing to share his joy over it. He just wanted to feel warm from any news about Nam Ji Hyun. Though he often see her on TV when she's promoting her movies, guestings on variety shows, from various CF and on the Press Conference of her mini series about college life.

Not a moment after he finished his intital 5 weeks training, had passed without him thinking about Ji hyun...but he doesn't have the nerve to ask his manager about her, his closest friends already know  that he broke up with her before he entered MS.

"Ah...err...Just a passing thought, how was she?" he innocently asked

"I've heard from her manager that her movie was chosen to compete in the CANNES Film Festival..." his manager was starting to tattle when Tae Joon interrupted him.

"Hyung, is it true that the script of that movie was based on the thesis made by Nam Ji hyun-sshi? I read it on my feeds last night..."

"Yes! according to Jung Mi Young-sshi ....Ji Hyun-sshi collaborated with the writer using her thesis as basis...she just hit 2 birds with one stone...she just showed the movie to the panel as her defense and I've heard she got an A+ for that...oh and she's graduating with honors I've heard" his manager exclaimed.

Hearing this Chang Wook was beaming with pride...his baby has gone a long way...SHE MADE IT! SO PROUD OF HER!....

Tae Joon broke his reverie with "So it's true that she also got accepted for a scholarship in UCLA Post Grad Studies?"

"Oh I haven't heard anything about that...how did it happen?" his manager asked Tae Joon

"According to the news, her adviser on that thesis submitted a copy to the Scholarship Committee of UCLA. It was selected and approved. I think she already received her Scholarship Acceptance Letter by now" Tae Joon replied

"You mean she'll be going to US for post-grad study?" his manager asked

"I think so...but it'll all depend on Ji hyun-sshi if she'll accept it" Tae joon replied

Chang Wook was listening silently...thinking "What is this? She's going away without saying anything to me?..." he smiled bitterly to himself " Stupid! you are no longer in her list of priorities...you broke up with her, remember?" he suddenly felt sick.

"Wook-ah you have to prepare yourself, in barely 3 months time you'll be out of here...there's a lot of CF offers, 3 mini series and 4 movies to consider" his manager said with a snicker "the time to get back to the celluloid world is near" he chuckled

Feeling the coldness seeping in Chang Wook exclaimed "Ah! Hyung I forgot I still have something to do in the office...I hate to cut your visit short but really thanks a lot...I'll see you in 3 weeks time"

"Ah what is this? I haven't tasted the pizza yet" Tae Joon complained

Chang Wook didn't say anything he just embraced Manager Bang and Tae Joon and begged for their understanding....he escorted them to the gate. He silently thread his way back to the barracks and collapse on his bunker bed...he felt lost.

It's the 13th of the 3rd month before his discharge....he anxiously awaits for his package...

His private entered the office, Chang Wook excitedly asked "Did my package arrive?" his private timidly gave him the letter "No package for you today Sir, but a letter" he was speechless for a second...and when he regained his composure "You're dismissed" Chang Wook said.

Chang Wook felt the letter, he didn't know which one felt heavy the letter or his heart...he felt like he was about to explode...it thumps crazily..."What is this I'm feeling?" he thought. He carefully opened the letter and....

March 7, 2019

Ji Chang Wook-sshi

I hope as you were reading my letter you are in good health and happy as you are nearing your discharge. Also praying that you will safely finish your enlistment. This maybe the last time you'll hear from me....and yes this will be the end. 

You told me 1 yr and 10 months ago that you want to break up with me thus I said not until I said so...Now is the time...I want to give you your freedom. I've already accepted the fact that you don't love me enough to trust me. Accepted the fact that it was just a fleeting romance nothing serious...nothing special. And I want to thank you for the affection you have shown during that short period of time were together. 

Let's start anew...and Forget each other.

Sincerely yours,

Nam Ji Hyun-sshi

His soul just escaped his being...coldness seeps in from his toes to his nape...a large lump formed in his throat, his heart was pounding so hard like a lunatic in a cell...tears kept pouring down..from the moment he told her that he's breaking up with her, still this question was always left unanswered....he thought out loud "Is it possible to forget?"