Confession
Till Next TimeRecently, Seulgi didn’t know how Joohyun became such a recurrent name in her mind. They were now friends, so thinking about her from time to time was not a crime, right ? She somehow pushed herself to believe there was nothing wrong with it. However as time goes by, she started to doubt. She never thought about Seungwan that much, even though she was her best friend.
But strangely, Joohyun always popped up naturally in Seulgi’s brain whenever she’s alone trying to study, listening to music, or even brushing her teeth. She tended to wonder what was Joohyun doing at this exact moment and even what she was feeling right now. Even Seulgi admitted it, imagining her a bit too often was kind of creepy. Seulgi’s mind refused to accept it but her heart couldn’t deny her growing feelings for Joohyun.
And today, although she kept pushing those thoughts away, Joohyun always had this magic she easily used on Seulgi. Like an enchantress, she effortlessly drew Seulgi, bit by bit into her own world. Joohyun’s little world she was willing to share with Seulgi, but Seulgi kind of explored it more than she’d have expected.
“ I can’t believe you’re that clumsy ! “ Joohyun giggled as she shared to Seulgi what Seungwan told her this morning. They were both sitting in the stairwell as usual. It became their secret base and they always went there when they didn’t have class. Besides, Joohyun always stayed with Seulgi and Seungwan during break, making the other students understand she didn’t have time for fake friends.
“ I can’t stop imagining you falling from your bed, trying to turn off the alarm clock now ! “ Her giggle grew louder and became an unstoppable wave of laughter as she childishly clapped her hands.
“ It’s not funny ! “ Seulgi frowned with embarrassment and crossed her arms. She couldn’t believe Seugwan told her this because she was too ashamed in front of Joohyun now. As a way to escape the torment, she adds. “ I actually hurt myself in the process. “ And with a pout, she always made sure to use this as well.
Joohyun’s mocking behavior disappeared instantly as her eyes became instinctively filled with concern.
“ Where ? “
Seulgi eventually expected it, but witnessing it was a different deal. The way Joohyun’s brows drew a slight frown and her lips faintly curved down had Seulgi shiver. Joohyun was too nice. Although she sometimes laughed at her, she really cared for Seulgi.
“ Where, Seulgi ? “, she repeated and approached her worried face.
“ Here. “
Seulgi pointed at the side of her forehead, where she felt a small bump this morning after the incident. Joohyun noticed the little mark and with utter delicacy, her right hand hovered above it before letting the tip of her index finger brushing it lightly. “ Does it hurt ? “
“ A little bit. “ Seulgi absent-mindedly answered. She was the one to bring up her injury, but now that she felt uneasy with Joohyun being so close again, she tried to avoid any unnecessary blushing. “ Don’t worry, it’s nothing. “
“ You should be careful. “, she put her hands behind Seulgi’s head and approached her lips towards the reddened spot.
“ W-what are you doing ? “
“ Stop moving around like a maggot.“ Joohyun felt the girl twitching under her touch and smiled to herself.
“ You’re doing weird things only erts understand anyway. “ Seulgi managed to but Joohyun solely rolled her eyes. “ Are you going to give me a magic kiss ? “
“ No. Just something my mother always did when I hurt myself. “
Without any words, Seulgi felt a ticklish fresh breeze on her forehead. The faint sound of blow just above her ears was oddly relaxing and the taller girl’s eyes became heavier by the minute, closing definitely as an appeased smile appeared on her face. Joohyun was blowing on the injury with great gentleness, aware of Seulgi’s sensitive skin and from time to time, her thumb was tenderly her hair.
“ Feeling better ? “ Joohyun stopped her action but didn’t move nonetheless.
“ Yeah. “ Seulgi opened her eyes again, preparing herself to thank her but any words she had in mind instantly vanished when she suddenly felt Joohyun’s lips on her forehead.
It didn’t took long but it was as if this exact moment slowed down every thinking process in Seulgi’s brain.
“ And that’s the magic kiss you were craving for. “ Joohyun then said and lowered her eyes into Seulgi’s. “ Did it work ? “
Oh no, Joohyun. It hurt more than anything else.
She was now a complete mess, because Joohyun was hurting Seulgi’s mind in such confusing ways, the brunette didn’t even know what to feel anymore. The taller girl couldn’t even speak without having her voice tremble and above all, she wasn’t even capable to look at Joohyun for too long before avoiding her gaze again. And the worst was that she didn’t want to make it obvious, obvious that she was flustered when she was around Joohyun. She often tried to act normally but she always ended up blushing furiously and it drove her nut.
“ Maybe if you kiss my lips, it will work. “, she replied without thinking twice.
It will work, because Seulgi finally accepted her feelings for Joohyun. It will work because this way, she will be sure Joohyun felt the same about her. It will work, because there would be nothing more healing than Joohyun’s love.
But Seulgi knew when she saw Joohyun’s face. She knew it didn’t work. Because Joohyun looked at her, with those surprised eyes which subtly changed into mocking ones. The thin lines of her lips formerly tensed then relaxed. Like usually, she didn’t take her seriously. “ And you dare calling me a ert. “ Joohyun smirked.
“ Yeah.. “ Seulgi answered but her eyes automatically crashed down as she fought to suppress her feelings again.
“ Stupid Kang, I almost fell for your joke ! “ Joohyun laughed and it only made Seulgi’s situation worse.
“ Right.. “
“ I should do the same to Seungwan, I wonder how she’ll react ? “
“ Knowing Seungwan, she’ll be stuttering some nonsense.. “
“ That’s right, it will be fun ! “
“ Yeah.. “
“ Hey, stupid Kang. “
“ Yeah.. “
“ Look at me, stupid. “
The change of Joohyun’s tone took Seulgi’s out of her trance who was shocked to see the girl looking so serious all of a sudden. She was holding Seulgi’s shoulders and was staring straight into her eyes. It only took a piercing gaze for Seulgi to jump back to her senses.
“ Stop looking down, there’s nothing on the ground. And stop lying to me because you can’t even lie to yourself. “
“ What are you saying so suddenly.. ? “ Seulgi tried to comprehend all those words but didn’t know what she meant.
“ If you have something to tell me, then say it. “
Joohyun bluntly told her and forced Seulgi to face a dilemma. She didn’t want to lie to her friend but she didn’t want to break their friendship as well. However, she needed to be honest. Honest with herself and honest with Joohyun.
There was no attempt of escaping this time. She had to say it, she must share her feelings. It hurt to keep it for herself and she couldn’t be a coward forever. She knew she could face another storm of Joohyun’s mocking laughs, or just an awkward smile and a short apology. There were many other things she’s anticipated, but she had to tell her at all costs.
Tell her what Joohyun meant for her.
“ I love you. “
Those tiny words came out timidly and Seulgi braved herself to stop looking at the floor in defeat. Even though her voice was shy, she stayed still and stared at Joohyun, waiting for an answer.
It’s when she heard nothing that Seulgi’s eyes instinctively began to fall on the ground as always. She didn’t know why but she was definitely hoping for an answer, good or bad. Facing silence was the worst scenario she could ever imagine because she understood nothing will be the same with Joohyun again. There won’t be those moments between them anymore and she knew she lost a precious friend.
After all, Seulgi couldn’t have real friends. Could she ?
She lost all hope.
Joohyun was her hope.
And when Seulgi was about to cowardly run away, too ashamed of being harshly rejected, every moves she had suddenly came to an halt. Seulgi’s body became numb and incapable to react. She was staying still, straight and couldn’t understand what was happening.
The hope of her life's lips were softly pressed against hers, gently kissing her. There was something infinitely sweet about Joohyun’s lips and Seulgi melt under the sudden touch on her waist. It became a reassuring move, bringing Seulgi closer to her and Joohyun’s arms automatically enveloped the taller girl before breaking the kiss.
“ I can’t understand you. “ Seulgi whispered. “ Minutes before you’ll be making fun of me and then you’ll be doing weird things to me again. And they’ll always make me feel vulnerable in front of you. “
“ You think I really have some kind of magic ? “ Joohyun smiled widely at the thought but Seulgi weakly hit her arm.
“ You’re mocking me again. This kiss meant nothing for you, right ? “
Seulgi couldn’t believe Joohyun would reciprocate her feelings. It was impossible for this to happen. She was lost in her confusion again, trying to look as brave as possible but she was too fragile.
Seulgi was just a simple girl who’s always looked at Joohyun with admiration. And the latter was too captivating ever since they were only children. Seulgi just wanted to befriend her. But it soon became a dangerous act she regretted. Because there was no way Joohyun would love her back.
“ Look up, there’s nothing on the ground.. “, she smiled softly at the kid who immediately avoided her gaze. “ If you think you can’t keep your face up, then just look at me. “
Before Seulgi could do anything else, Joohyun brought the girl’s body closer to her and tightly hugged her. Seulgi could feel Joohyun’s heartbeat and the warm feeling engulfing her made her own heart scream louder. “ Actually, I lied to you. “ Joohyun said close to Seulgi’s ear. “ When I said I didn’t remember you. It was a lie. Back then in elementary school, I couldn’t bring myself to forget about you. “
Slowly assimilating the shocking information, Seulgi didn’t even have time to reply before Joohyun simply adds. “ I didn’t want you to remember me as the Joohyun who was annoyingly famous in school. I was afraid you would dislike me from the start. I’m sorry if I hurt you. “ Her hands tightly clung to the taller girl's back in fear to lose her. Then she murmured. “ Seulgi. “
And the next thing Joohyun whispered in her ear was enough to bring Seulgi to the edge of tears.
The words she desperately needed to hear.
“ I love you. “
I'm crying, Red Velvet's Red Room concert sounded so good. All those remixes..
It's their first concert but they have so many jams, they performed almost non-stop. T^T
Sorry, that's out of context but I needed to express my joy because it was so lit ! (excited to listen to Russian Roulette's remix again oh my god.)
Hope you enjoyed this chapter though, see you !
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