First and Last

Becoming Free

Sehun is a classical piano prodigy...but lately something's been off. He keeps on practicing but he can't hit the right tune for a new composition. He can never hit the right tune. Not now, not before, not later. He feels lost. His patience is running out, and he feels like his talent is as well. 

Feeling frustrated, Sehun smashes his hands down on the grand piano keys, "DAMNIT WHY ISNT IT WORKING?! Why...why can't I...compose?" All this time he played every other piece perfectly- Mozart, Chopin, Bach. But he could never come up with his own masterpiece.

They called him the "copy cat", the one who can replicate any classical song and movement exactly but never once could he make his own work of art. Every single key he pressed was timed and calculated to mimic the original artist. 

All his life Sehun had been praised for his technique and ability to copy. However, all he could wonder is, "For what? All I ever do is play the same as the others. I can never create my own. I'm nothing but a copy cat."

Every day, every night. Time and time again he will try to compose but nothing comes up.

Sehun is so frustrated, with multiple awards and accomplishments yet no piece of music to his name. As a piano prodigy, he has been playing for countless hours, days, months, and years since the age of five. However, every single time he tries to compose nothing comes up. It always ends up the same, Sehun frustrated while running his hands through his black hair. After months and months of trying to make his own piece, he nearly gives up.

But one day, he decides it's enough. He's sick of his title, he's sick of not being good enough to even himself. Walking along the night streets, in the city he sees the glow of a TV. It showcases the most beautiful serene scene, the euphoria Sehun needed.

Mountains, nature, a waterfall. They all seem like nothing to the average person, but Sehun had never experienced what it was like to be in this kind of atmosphere. Immediate he is captivated, and he decides he needs to go there. Not once would he had expected to find the life long answer he had always been searching for. Right on a small television in a run down area of the city. 

Sehun had always been inside, trapped in the busy city with nothing more than his piano. Playing practically since birth, he never got to experience the life of a normal kid, never got to experience the outdoors. While others would be playing with basketballs and in the playground, little Sehun was surrounded by piano books and adults. They would tell him that he is too brilliant for his age, he didn't need to play with the others. All he needed was his piano. So that's all he ever knew. 

Sehun decides it's time, he needs to put a pause on his career. He leaves to pack his bags, to go to the serene scene he saw on the small tv. He will find a little cabin, and he will leave the only thing he ever knew at home. His piano...but not only that. It was his both his pride and misfortune. It brought him every thing he needed, but crushed him in the end.

Off to travel to the place, Sehun takes a train to leave his past behind. He is determined that this new place will give him more happiness than he ever had before. And, he is right. Once he finds the place, he is astonished. From being a city boy, and being a music prodigy, he is constantly surrounded by excessive noise. But here. There is nothing.

Silence, but all he sees is beauty. Clear waters, flowers of a kind he's never seen before. He can only hear the water splashing against the rocks and the birds singing their own song. A small waterfall, mountains in the distance. The toxic free air, he finally feels as if he can breathe. 

"This is what I needed all along..." Sehun thought, he needed to get away. He needed to find beauty, he needed to find freedom. And here, he stayed. He stayed in the little cabin for months upon months, he enjoyed himself for the first time in his life.

It was nothing like the constant pressure of playing his piano, but being free. He didn't have to be constantly surrounded  by the thoughts and negativity that consumed him overtime. 

And when he felt it was time, he finally went home. He went back home, to the city, to his piano. And back home, he played again. But no longer was he the stiff Sehun, one with only movement that he was taught. Sehun was free.

No longer was he the copy cat, but finally. He was a real musician. He played with energy, and a peace of mind. He was his own and his music could finally show that.

The piano which once brought him great misery. It is finally...colourful. The bleak black and white he saw is full of life. And so is he.

And so, Sehun played and was somehow better than before. People wondered how he could change so much when he was away. But he knew. From there on, he made a vow to himself. Once a year, he will go back to remind himself of the beauty, to get away from his hectic life. He wanted to make more time for himself and not focus on his piano all the time. He would do things that made him happy, he would meet friends his age. He even got himself a dog and named him Vivi, to remind himself to be happy. 

The random trip let Sehun find out how to be free. And that's all he needed.

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BabyLayne #1
Chapter 1: I actually love this, it really captures the pressure on musicians and adressed the stresses they encounter when they don't feel like they are enough. This is beautiful. I love youuuu!!!