Chapter 18 : In all honesty

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Trigger Warning : a character have a slight anxiety attack at the end of this chapter. If it makes you uncomfortable, please be careful while reading.

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Taemin sighed slowly, and watched his breath whiten before his nose. It kept getting colder and colder lately, and the sight of the forest, once colorful and lively, now wintry and gloomy, made his heart clench in his chest. It reminded him of his former home. Despite the stunning and impressive architecture of the elven city in the mountains, it always appeared icy and dour to him. Even in the hottest days of summer, the citadel looked cold, its shades of white and grey unchanging.

The forest was different. It shifted every day, it always burst with life, it was in constant motion. Taemin had witnessed it already, how some paths never brought him to the same place. It had been unsettling and scary, at first, but it was now something he was getting used to. A mishap he found quite pleasant. Nothing ever stayed the same in there, and it was far easier to enjoy the quietness and coldness of winter, when he knew that the trees would blossom soon again and colors would be bouncing around.

As he walked, a sudden thought came to his mind. He wondered how Jongin would look like in spring. He had noticed his nymph's hair change color once already, going from the soft pink of autumn, to a shining grey in winter. Which color could it possibly turn to next?

It made him stop in front of a tree, and he closed his eyes, one hand resting on the trunk before him. He was far enough now, no one was lurking around, no elf would stumble upon him by accident. He approached the white oak until the tip of his feet bumped into a root, and pressed both his gloved palms against the tree. As he closed his eyes, he could feel his heart hammer loudly in his chest.

"Jongin," he called in a soft murmur.

His throat was tightening, but he kept calling.

He hoped he wasn't too late. He hoped Jongin wouldn't be busy on that early afternoon. He hoped the nymph would be happy to see him. As much as his guilt was trying to choke him up, as much as he was sweating at the mere idea of Jongin being upset with him, Taemin wanted to see him more than any fear he still had.

He had made his way to Junmyeon immediately after lunch, to tell the fairy he needed to see the nymph. And Junmyeon made him promise to be back for dinner, and covered for him in exchange for his words. He had no idea what the tiny fairy would invent if anyone were to ask about his occupations, but he didn't care. He trusted Junmyeon to find something plausible.

Taemin kept whispering the nymph's name, again and again, as Jongin had taught him, at regular intervals, his forehead pressing against the tree. He didn't count how long he had been calling already, but he was getting cold and desperation was invading his lungs.

"Taemin."

Taemin gasped, his eyes opening suddenly as his hands closed into fists. He turned around, biting his lips with apprehension, and saw Jongin, a few feet away from him.

"Taemin called again," Jongin said softly.

There was such relief in his hazel eyes, Taemin felt a sob rise in his throat.

Jongin came closer, very slowly, as if he was afraid Taemin would stop him. He stood right in front of him and gave him a smile so gentle that the elf wondered how he could have ever fooled himself enough to pretend that the way Jongin was looking at him didn't mean anything.

"I made a promise," Taemin breathed out. "I promised I would call you."

Jongin nodded softly and hold out his hand towards his elf's face. He stopped himself, his fingers hovering barely a centimeter away from Taemin's cheek. He tried to remember the exact sentence Kyungsoo had taught him.

"Can I 'ug- hug... Can I hug you?" He stuttered.

Taemin looked surprised. Jongin had never asked before, and he had hugged him plenty of times already. Taemin pouted; he didn't want Jongin to think all the hugs he ever gave him had been unwelcome.

He put his hand on top of Jongin's and pressed his cheek against the nymph's palm. Then he tiptoed closer and snuggled against his warm chest, both his arms coming to circle Jongin's waist. He stayed silent, holding him close and tight until he felt Jongin's hand brush his jaw and neck and the nymph embraced him just as fondly as he always did.

"Nini missed Taemin."

"I missed you too," Taemin said, his voice muffled against Jongin's neck.

They parted again and Jongin cupped Taemin's face in his hands.

He had waited for him for so long; he had hoped and wished that his elf would call him again every day and night, and now seeing Taemin was filling him with happiness. Still there was a glint of sadness, deep inside his heart, noticeable in his eyes, and the slight frown of his eyebrows. That adoration he felt every time he glanced at him, was this how Taemin felt when he looked at the prince he would soon marry?

He tried to put that thought away, in a dark corner of his mind. He could come back to it later, he could mope and pout and complain to Chanyeol and be desperate at another time. Because his time with Taemin was always counted and he had no intention of wasting a single minute of it by being sad.

"Taemin come with Nini? To ho-me?"

Taemin smiled. And it lifted a painful weight from Jongin's chest. He had missed that blinding grin so much.

"Yes, please. Let's go home," Taemin laughed lightly.

Jongin took Taemin's hands in his and raised them up to their faces again. He simply spread his fingers, their palms pressing against each other, and watched how small Taemin's hands looked in his. Then he intertwined their fingers and took a step backward.

"We go like this again?" Taemin asked, his eyes searching Jongin's as he followed him.

Jongin smiled and brought him closer with a gentle pull.

"Loo-k Nini," he said. "Taemin not think."

Taemin wondered if nymphs had any hypnotic effect on elves; it wouldn't be surprising to him. Or maybe it was only Jongin. Maybe it was only Jongin having that effect on him. But he obeyed that deep voice and focused on Jongin's long eyelashes. At first, his head was clouded with thoughts; as if the simple fact that Jongin asked him to clear his mind had triggered a thousand random reflections to spurt out.

His pupils were moving fast, taking in the sight of having the nymph so close to him again. And soon enough, without him noticing, the cacophony of his thoughts only became a distant, muffled sound at the back of his head. He could feel Jongin's warm breath tickle his nose.

He heard himself tell Junmyeon how he was so in love with Jongin already, and how the nymph made him feel like he belonged next to him, but the memory faded away.

He wasn't sure if Jongin was pulling him forward or if it was himself, who was making them move in soft steps. He didn't care. At some point, Jongin had let go of his hands to grab his arms. It felt like they were waltzing. Or maybe it was just Taemin's dizzy imagination.

"Am I dreaming?" Taemin whispered.

"Dri-... dream-in'...?" Jongin asked with a pout. "Nini don't understan'."

Taemin smiled and tilted his head, his eyes never leaving Jongin's.

"A dream is when you sleep. Sleep, you know that. Nini loves to sleep."

"Yes. Nini understan' sleep."

"So," Taemin continued," when you sleep and you have beautiful thoughts, you dream. Do you know 'thoughts'? It's when you think."

Jongin blinked twice, his pout still on his lips.

"Beau-tiful think when sleep is dream?"

Taemin nodded.

Jongin's face relaxed. He knew about those things called dreams. He had them sometimes.

"Taemin not sleep. It is not dream."

The elf prince laughed, and it sounded better to Jongin's ears that any melody he ever heard.

"Nini dream-in' of Taemin when Nini sleep," Jongin confessed in a whisper.

"I dream of you too," Taemin shakily answered. "I dream of you in our home."

Jongin's heart clenched at that and his lost eyes searched for Taemin's, wondering if he understood that wrong. It sounded too sweet in his ears and he was unsure of what to do with it. But the mention of their home brought him back to reality and he stopped. Taemin stepped on his foot, stuttered an apology and retreated a bit.

Jongin didn't bother about his mistreated toes and put his hand on Taemin's lower back to bring him down the little hill. The quiet house awoke as they entered, the chimney immediately ignited a fire and a dozens of candles lit up alone, as if they had been waiting for their return.

Taemin took his shoes and cape off before he followed Jongin around.

"Taemin is cold?" Jongin asked.

"No, it's alright."

Jongin nodded, visibly satisfied with the answer, and went to sit on the love seat by the window.

"Taemin wan-t tea?"

"Yes, please."

Taemin sat a little awkwardly next to the nymph, and watched as Jongin summoned drinks for them both. A plate of what appeared to be dried fruits popped up as well, and Jongin immediately dived to the apricots with a smile.

Taemin brought the fuming cup of tea to his face, and smelled deeply. It scented of jasmine.

"Taemin?"

Jongin's voice was faint and wavering. When Taemin lifted his head, he saw the nymph twisting his fingers on his lap; he seemed shy, all of a sudden, a bit uncomfortable.

"Yes?"

Jongin took a long inhale, trying to gather all of his courage before he looked back into Taemin's eyes.

"Taemin is a-prin-ce?"

Taemin swallowed with some difficulty and put his cup back on the table. He folded his legs under his and nodded.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Taemin com' from ma-... mou-tain'?"

"Yes, I do."

Jongin bit his lips, his eyes falling on the pillow that rested between the two of them as he let out a pitiful sigh. Those were the information Kyungsoo had given him, but he had still hoped that for some reason, Taemin would deny them.

There was something that Kyungsoo hadn't been able to correctly answer, and it had haunted Jongin up until now. The fairy had insisted that it was very unlikely, but he couldn't promise it would never happen. The fear that Taemin might go back to the mountains some day, with or without the forest prince, was giving nightmares to Jongin.

"Taemin...," he tried to articulate, "Taemin go back to mou-tain'? Or Taemin s-tay to forest?"

"I'll stay," Taemin immediately answered. "I won't go back to the mountains."

Jongin frowned at him and the elf realized his answer might have been confusing.

"I will stay in the forest."

"Taemin s-tay?" Jongin repeated slowly. "To forest with Nini?"

"Yes."

Taemin smiled, hoping to reassure the worried nymph, and extended his hand to Jongin's fingers gently.

"Fo-rev-er?" Jongin insisted.

"Yes. I'll stay with you forever."

Jongin's face slowly brightened, the frown between his eyebrows disappearing along with that darkness in his eyes and Taemin could swear that his skin lightened up. He saw a tiny red flower bloom timidly in between grey locks of hair, and the sight calmed his own anxiety.

Jongin took the pillow between them and tossed it away as he crawled closer to Taemin to snuggle on his side. He forced Taemin to move along, but the elf couldn't care less about it. He opened his arms to let Jongin come as close as he wanted, and held him tight.

The nymph was sprawled all over him in a way that didn't seem that comfortable to Taemin, but Jongin had stopped moving and seemed very pleased with the situation, so he didn't question it. Jongin had his head on Taemin's chest and he could hear the loud beats of his heart. It was perfect to him.

"I don't love the other prince," Taemin suddenly admitted.

He had been thinking over and over again about how to tell the truth to Jongin in words the nymph would understand. And he was still scared of giving him too many hopes, despite everything Junmyeon had told him. Because he wasn't sure yet about what he was allowed to give to the nymph. But with Jongin nestled like this against him, he couldn't help but try to explain the situation to him.

"Mhmm?"

Jongin moved around, enough to look up at Taemin from his cozy spot.

"The other prince," Taemin started, and he saw Jongin pout at the mention of Jonghyun. "I don't love him."

Jongin gasped, his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes were searching Taemin's face, uncertain of what to understand from those words.

"Taemin... not love... a-prin-ce of forest?" He stammered.

"I don't. I love him not. And he doesn't love me either."

Confusion was written all over Jongin's face. There was hope in his eyes but fear in the way he bit his bottom lip, and he blinked a few times, one of his hand coming to scratch his forehead.

"Taemin not love but Taemin ma-rry a-prin-ce."

"I have to," Taemin explained, not sure how he could explain that. "I am forced. Do you understand? I don't want to marry him, but I have to."

Jongin slowly nodded, but then stood up a bit with a bothered expression.

"Taemin is not ha-ppy...," he whined.

He wasn't sure if that was better or worse than what he had imagined. The idea of Taemin loving someone else was awful. But thinking Taemin was compelled to marry someone he didn't love was just as terrible.

If that other prince wasn't able to make Taemin smile every single day and feel loved and treasured, then what was the point? It was just immensely unfair.

Taemin cupped his face in his hands and gave him a smile so wide it made his eyes crinkle.

"I am happy," Taemin assured as he pressed their noses together for a second.

A slight blush came to color Jongin's cheeks.

"Yes?" He croaked.

"Yes. The marriage is difficult and sad," Taemin said, slowly enough for Jongin to hear each word correctly. "But I came to the forest and I met Nini. So I am happy."

Junmyeon had been right about that. That sorrowful wedding had brought him Jongin. Despite everything else, he knew the worries and sadness the whole situation gave him was nothing compared to the happiness he found when looking at his nymph.

And Jongin was blooming, right there, with his red face still captured in Taemin's hands. Taemin's tired little heart swelled with tenderness once more.

"Nini is happy with Taemin too."

Jongin looked flustered by his last words, but still concerned about his well-being. He straightened up, sitting on Taemin's lap with a frown.

"Is a-prin-ce nice with Taemin?"

"Yes, he's very nice. Don't worry."

"Elves is ni-ce with Taemin?"

"Everyone in the castle is nice to me," Taemin laughed. "I promise. And Junmyeon takes good care of me."

Jongin rose one of his eyebrows and winced.

"What?"

"Ah...," Taemin pondered. "Humm... Junmyeon, he helps me."

"What is 'Ju-myeo'?"

Taemin looked surprised for a second, before he realized that Jongin probably knew the fairy under another name. Sort of. He might never had called him in elvish.

"The fairy...?" Taemin said, trying to show a space between two fingers that would be the approximative height of Junmyeon.

He moved his hand around with a swooshing sound. And Jongin looked at him, puzzled by his behavior.

"Nini don't understan'," he pouted.

Taemin scrunched his nose and attempted to draw wings in the air with his fingers.

"Fairy, you know..."

Taemin's ludicrous explanations seemed to finally make sense to Jongin because he clapped his hands together with a smile.

"Ah, fai-ry. Yes."

"Good. Then, Junmyeon is the fairy from last time. He was here, you remember? Junmyeon, the High Fairy from the castle. He's very nice to me."

Jongin's face went back to darkness when he completely understood what Taemin was talking about.

"Ju-myeo is not ni-ce," he complained.

Taemin stayed silent for a moment as he looked over Jongin's grumpiness. Then he came to poke his nose.

"Junmyeon is nice," he repeated, and Jongin rolled his eyes. "I promise, he is. Please don't be mad at him."

"What is 'be-mad'?" Jongin grumbled.

Taemin put his hands on his sides and furrowed is eyebrows at the nymph with a grunt.

"This is 'mad'."

Jongin's eyes widened impossibly as he glanced at Taemin, and then break out in loud laughters. He fell from Taemin's lap and almost hit the ground, but squirmed back on the couch as he tried to recover his breath. Taemin chuckled next to him, pinching his tummy lightly and watching with joy how it intensified the nymph's hilarity.

All the tension and previous worries seemed to lessen a bit. Jongin promised he wouldn't stay mad at Junmyeon anymore, for something the fairy wasn't really responsible for in the first place. And then, they went back to their teas. Jongin had to ask the house to reheat their mugs because their drinks had gone cold; and he stuffed his face with dried apricots happily.

They started to talk about their favorite food, and Taemin soon found himself sitting back on the love seat with a recipe book on his lap and a sleepy Jongin hooked on his arm as he tried to learn the names of fruits and vegetables. Every time Taemin noticed the nymph was dozing off, he attempted to close the book to let him rest, but Jongin would jolt awake and demand that they continue. When Taemin told him that they could stop to let him nap and that he didn't mind it, all Jongin answered was a mumble about how he didn't want to sleep when he was with him. The nymph was beating himself up for not sleeping more in the morning. He had to be more prepared next time because Taemin always called him around the same time of the day and that was usually the time for his favorite nap.

At some point, Taemin pretended that he didn't want to read anymore and wanted to hug instead, only to get Jongin to relax in his arms as he his hair.

Taemin had done his best all afternoon to remember his promise to Junmyeon, and when he realized the sun was completely set already, he nudged Jongin softly. He could see the nymph was trying his hardest not to sulk as he was putting his cape and shoes back on.

"Nini com' with Taemin."

"Are you sure?" Taemin asked, clearly surprised.

Jongin only nodded stubbornly and took his hand as they exited the house. Leaving Nowhere was a lot easier than getting there. Once they went up and down the little hill again, they landed by the shore next to the castle. Taemin knew the way perfectly from here; he could even see the faint lights of the city, up in the gigantic trees a bit further away.

Jongin looked up at them too and realized this was the farthest he could go. He wished the hill from Nowhere made them arrive somewhere else, where he could have walked Taemin back home a bit more. But now they were too close, and he was feeling uncomfortable already.

They hugged as tight as they could, whispering soft promises of seeing each other soon again.

Jonghyun pushed the doors of the little room they chose with Taemin to take their breakfast in, now that the weather was truly too cold for them to enjoy it on the terraces. He stopped on his tracks, looking with slight bewilderment as the mountain prince was already sitting in the alcove by the windows, sipping his tea quietly. It was the very first time since Taemin's arrival in the forest, that Jonghyun saw him there before him. It made him smile as he approached, plopping down on one of the free armchair.

"Did you have troubles sleeping?" He asked, gently.

Taemin jumped out of his thoughts and blinked at him like a sleepy owl.

"Oh...," he breathed out, "mhmm, well. Yes, kind of."

Jonghyun leaned towards the table, pouring himself a cup of tea and pulling the pastries basket closer.

"Hi," Jonghyun grinned.

"Hi."

"Are you alright? Can I do anything?"

Taemin shook his hand in front of him and turned his head away.

"Ah, it's okay. Don't worry. It's too early for this kind of things."

Jonghyun looked at him for a few seconds, immobile and quiet. Then he rubbed at his eye with one finger and started to chew on his brioche.

"I've been awake for a few hours already," he said with a shrug. "I was only waiting for a decent hour to come meet you here. I hate eating breakfast alone. So, tell me."

Taemin looked down on his own untouched pastries and sighed. His fingers came to tear the bread apart in small bites, but he still forsake them on the tablecloth.

"There are things I want to discuss with you, actually," he started, "but I don't know how to order my thoughts. I've been thinking over and over again and it's difficult to put words correctly."

"It's okay if it doesn't make a lot of sense," Jonghyun encouraged.

Taemin nodded, a little pout still playing on his lips. He stayed quiet. His eyes were fixed on the tea cup in front of him, but he wasn't looking at it. The sounds of dishes chinking against each other as Jonghyun poured some milk and sugar into his cup were muffled by the heavy maze in his head. Taemin wasn't having any coherent thought. He was simply dozing off, lost in between tiredness and his inability to sleep properly the night before.

"I also have things I want to talk to you about," Jonghyun suddenly whispered.

The basket of bread next to him was half empty and Taemin wondered how long he had been staring at his cup, his mind elsewhere.

"Should I start, or do you want to?"

Taemin blinked a couple of times and finally shook his head.

"Please, tell me."

Jonghyun smiled gently and leaned back on his armchair, looking directly at Taemin with soft eyes.

"Do you remember that spirit you saw at the ball, when you arrived in the forest?"

Taemin froze on his seat, his eyes widening a bit as he felt his heart drop to his feet. Jonghyun's tone had been casual, light, as if he was asking him about the weather, as if he didn't thought that his question might possibly knock all air out of Taemin's lungs. But it did.

They hadn't talked about Jongin in months. Why was Jonghyun mentioning him all of a sudden? Taemin wondered if maybe, Junmyeon hadn't been able to keep the secret much longer.

"I do," Taemin answered cautiously, trying to calm himself down by focusing on the fact that Jonghyun's face was as calm and gentle as ever.

There was not a single trace of anger, or disappointment, or sadness on his features. On the contrary, if he looked very closely, there was maybe a bit of shyness in the way Jonghyun was frowning.

"I'm wondering-...," Jonghyun sighed, "You kept talking about him for days. It seemed to really bother you. But then you stopped. And you never mentioned him again."

Taemin tapped his fingers lightly on the saucer under his tea cup.

"What's your question?" he murmured.

Jonghyun let out a long breath and a shaky, nervous laugh that got Taemin to jump a bit. Then the forest prince ran a hand through his grey locks and looked back at him.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I'm making this very awkward. I just-... You see-...," Jonghyun stammered. "I-... Damn. I saw a spirit too."

The confession took Taemin completely by surprise and he stared at the other prince, watching how Jonghyun's cheeks and ears reddened with embarrassment.

"I saw a spirit," Jonghyun repeated slowly, "and since then-... well, I can't stop thinking about him. Like, I really am thinking about that moment all the time. It's embarrassing. And I think I finally understood how you felt, all those months ago, you know. I just-... It's haunting me. So I thought back. I realized you stopped talking about that spirit you saw. I wondered how you did that. How did you manage to overcome-... you know... the constant thoughts? And maybe... the will to see him again?"

By the end of his little tirade, Jonghyun was unable to look Taemin in the eyes. His voice had gone low and timid, and he coughed, trying to find some composure back. He was glad he had cleared a lot of things with Taemin beforehand, like the fact that they didn't share any romantic feelings. Otherwise this would have been even weirder.

Meanwhile, Taemin wanted to laugh. Nervously. At how ridiculous all of this situation was. And he realized that this was the perfect opportunity to be honest with Jonghyun, once and for all.

"I didn't," he breathed out.

Jonghyun straightened his head at that answer, one doubtful eyebrow raised on his forehead.

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't stop thinking about him, I didn't stop wanting to see him. Actually... I met him. A few times in the past months. He found me back. I still think about him constantly. I still want to be with him every moment we're apart."

There was a silence between the two of them that stretched and made Taemin squirm a bit on his chair. Jonghyun's face had become unreadable and he was suddenly scared that he had said too much at once.

The forest prince opened his mouth, but stayed quiet, and closed it again. He did that two more times before he managed to let out a single word.

"What?"

Taemin twisted his fingers, not daring to look over the table and unto the lost eyes of his future husband. He wasn't sure what Jonghyun was exactly asking, or what he should answer.

"This is what I wanted to talk to you about," Taemin finally admitted.

"Is it?"

"Yes."

Jonghyun let his head fall back against the armchair and closed his eyes with a long, exhausted sigh.

"Minho met a spirit a while ago. And befriended him. He couldn't help me. And now you're telling me... it happened to you too. And you can't help me."

"I'm sorry."

Jonghyun didn't answer. He kept breathing deeply, slowly; and Taemin gritted his teeth with nervousness.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked, his voice wavering.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"For not telling you sooner."

"I would've been mad if you told me earlier. You're not supposed to talk about encountering spirits. And before I saw one for myself... I had no idea how nerve-wracking it was, I would not have understood."

His eyes were still closed, but his voice was calmer, with that deep tenderness in it that always appeased Taemin and comforted him.

"To be honest with you," Jonghyun continued, "I'm a bit jealous. I'm too hopeful. And I'm afraid of not knowing how I could move on if the spirit I saw doesn't come to see me again. Because no one ever talks about it, I just have no clue how to deal with all of this."

"I'm sorry I cannot help you."

Jonghyun opened his eyelids, his gaze lost on the ceiling of the room.

"It's a bit strange, you know," Jonghyun pondered. "I have troubles describing how all of this makes me feel. It's difficult to tell which of my feelings are genuine. I feel a bit... bewitched... if that makes sense."

"It does," Taemin immediately answered.

If Jongin hadn't been the sincerest and softest being Taemin had ever encountered, he would probably have thought that the nymph had put a spell on him.

"Spirits are mesmerizing in a way that makes it difficult to even realize if your love is authentic."

Jonghyun nodded slowly and pursued his lips.

"I didn't get that feeling with Lord Baekhyun though. I felt awe. But not this... excessive aching."

"How long have you seen your spirit?"

"Ah, I only caught a glimpse of him. It lasted a few seconds."

There was regret in his voice, a heavy sadness that Taemin could relate to. It took a sympathetic smile out of him.

"It could be that. When I first saw my nymph, I only caught him for a second, and then he disappeared and I just-... well, you know how it was. But when I saw him again, we stayed together a little while. It was better after that. It calms down the longer you're around them, I think."

A silence fell upon them. Jonghyun could feel his heart beating a little too fast; and he knew this discussion wasn't helping him in the slightest. It made him believe that his spirit would come back to him, the same way Taemin's nymph found his way back to him.

Then his own thoughts made him frown as he realized something.

"Wait a minute... A nymph, you said?"

"Yes."

"How do you manage to communicate with him? Are you both only sitting in silence for hours?"

"Ah, well... He's learning elvish for me," Taemin murmured.

Jonghyun straightened up in his armchair, wide eyes glued on Taemin in bewilderment.

"He's what?!" He exclaimed.

Taemin jumped on his seat as if caught red handed doing something very wrong.

"He uh-... he's learning elvish?"

Jonghyun shook his head, mouth agape, blinking stupidly.

"Why do you say this so casually? Oh dear."

"Sorry."

Jonghyun sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. Then he froze all over again. Some precise memories were coming back to him. Something Taemin had said just a few minutes earlier, something he admitted some days ago, on that boat they took together.

"You're in love with him," Jonghyun whispered.

It wasn't a question, it was an affirmation, and the way Taemin cowered in his armchair and blushed was all the confirmation he needed.

"That time when you described your dream-soulmate and told me how you wouldn't need words to understand each other... you were talking about him. Right?"

"Maybe?" Taemin simpered.

Jonghyun shook his head, his eyes widening as he struggled to digest all those new information. It felt like a lot of lost little dots in his mind were suddenly connecting to each other and making sense.

"Does he love you back?" He heard himself ask.

Maybe he shouldn't be asking something like that. It wasn't his concerns at all. But he was curious.

Taemin was playing with his cup of tea again, as if keeping his fingers busy would help him somehow. He couldn't look at Jonghyun anymore.

"I think he does," he admitted. "I mean, he told me so, once. But I don't-... he doesn't speak perfectly yet, so I'm not entirely sure he meant it like-... you know. I do think that he really cares about me, though."

It felt extremely awkward to admit all of this out loud. To Jonghyun, in particular.

"I wanted to confess, I wanted to tell him... but there's... our marriage. And he knows that. So, I don't want to tell him that I love him, I don't want to hear him say it to me again, if I can't-... if we can't be together anyway."

Jonghyun put his elbows on the table and let his head fall in his hands. This conversation was a lot more difficult than he had imagined. And he had a tendency to imagine the worst.

"It's difficult to wrap my head around this. Nymphs are holy. Nymphs are deities. You're telling me you fell in love with someone I grew up considering a god, and that he might love you back."

Taemin didn't know what to answer to that. He didn't grow up with such beliefs. He grew up thinking nymphs didn't really exist anyway.

"It feels like such a terrible timing, but there's something I have to tell you about the wedding," Jonghyun groaned.

"What is it?"

Taemin's voice was calm and composed again.

"Before you arrived, when I threw a tantrum at my parents for planning our marriage, my father asked me to give you a chance. I promised that I would try, that I would meet you, that I would learn to know you and see if I could be attracted to you... I gave him my word to do all of that with honesty and good will, because he told me that he would try to make your mother change her mind if we ended up hating each other."

Taemin froze on his seat, his jaw falling open as he stared at the other prince. Jonghyun seemed uncomfortable, he was glaring at the table between them with guilt written all over his face.

"At that time, I didn't think much of it, because there was no complete guarantee that he could indeed talk your mother out of it. But it was still a small reassurance when I was freaking out in my room, thinking my whole life had crashed down in front of me."

Jonghyun finally looked at him and Taemin felt his insides twist painfully.

"But then you came in. I grew to really like you, and I was convinced that my father wouldn't even discuss our marriage's cancellation when we were getting along so well. I mean-... You're like the perfect son in law to my parent's eyes and I thought that there was no way he would break off his promise to your mother, considering the situation," Jonghyun took a long inhale before he continued, "so I didn't know if I should even talk to you about this. I was scared to give you hopes for nothing. And then that time, on the boat, you told me you were so happy to have come to our forest... I started to think that maybe you wouldn't want to break off the marriage and go back to the mountains. I kept thinking and thinking. I was wondering if your mother would send you off somewhere else if my father somehow succeeded in breaking our engagement. I couldn't stop thinking. I didn't want to tell you and make you feel like we had to try... I didn't want you to be forced out. But then I realized I was lying to you while trying to protect you. And it didn't feel right either. So we're here. I'm sorry I kept it a secret for so long. I'm sorry for dropping this on you now."

Taemin closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, as if he needed to put his thoughts back into place.

"So you're telling me... there's a possibility to break off our marriage. But you were ready to never tell me and sacrifice yourself just so you wouldn't upset me?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're an imbecile, Kim Jonghyun."

Jonghyun winced at that. Taemin was glaring at him, not with anger, but with honest confusion.

"I was taking care of you. Or trying to."

"I understand that, but you can't just throw your life away like that. You're so frustrating sometimes! You keep doing that, pushing me away and taking decisions that are hurting you instead of asking for my help. It's-... it's annoying enough when you decide not to tell me about all the meetings I'm supposed to participate to, but this is just-... a brand new level of stupidity," Taemin let out a defeated little scream, "I've been treated like a child my whole life by my parents and my older siblings. You can't do that to me too. We're in this mess together. It's even more irritating because you keep sabotaging yourself to help me. You don't even consider that maybe I want to take care of you too. I'm so pissed!"

Jonghyun pouted, crossing his arms on his chest.

"I don't want you to be miserable, that's all. Do you truly want to try to break it off and go back to the mountains?"

"I don't know! I don't want to leave but I don't want you to be forced to spend your life with me if you have the slightest chance of having a happy life with someone you love."

Taemin's voice was getting louder with annoyance.

"Well I don't even think my father would agree to call it off anyway. And I couldn't live with myself if we go through all that and I'm the one who gets a happy perfect life while you're living in a place you don't like, away from the nymph you fell in love with."

"I'll figure it out," Taemin pouted, tightening his fists with frustration. "I'll yell at you every day until the whole kingdom is persuaded that I hate you, I'll be awful to you until your father wants nothing else than for me to be away from his precious son, I'll do all it takes so you don't screw your life up because of me. I'll go back to the mountains, I'll kick and scream until my mother decide that I'm not good enough for any arranged marriage, I'll ask Jongin to come with me and I'll make her approve of him and my life's gonna be real nice and you'll marry someone you love. I'll just... find a damn way."

Jonghyun frowned at him.

"You won't," he simply said.

"Watch me."

"Because he won't come with you."

"Shut it, you don't know anything about him," Taemin grumbled.

"Nymphs cannot leave the forest, Taemin," Jonghyun explained calmly. "Even if he wanted to, he couldn't follow you. If he tried to come after you, he would die in hours. And if we break off our engagement, you won't be allowed to come back here. If we break it off, you'll never see him again."

Time seemed to stop. Taemin felt like Jonghyun had punched him in his stomach with all of his strength.

His mind assaulted him with memories of Jongin. His face, his smile, his voice. If he tried to free Jonghyun from their engagement, he would lose all of that, all of Jongin, and the thought alone made him want to wail of distress. Those awful, nightmarish words were ringing in his ears, making his head spin and his lungs constrict. He felt nauseous.

He tried to say something, he tried to call for help because his chest was hurting, but no sound came out. He couldn't breathe. Taemin opened his mouth, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs but all he managed was a couple of gasps that made his chest hurt even more.

Jonghyun was calling his name, immobile on the other side of the table, but Taemin couldn't hear him. It was so distant, so faint in his ears.

His vision became blurry and he didn't realize his eyes were flooding with tears.

Jonghyun jumped out of his chair to reach him and he put his hands on Taemin's face, trying to get the other to look at him. He had wanted for Taemin to calm down and stop planning nonsense at him. Sure his words had been harsh, but he hadn't meant them to be this sharp. He hadn't meant to push Taemin into a panic attack.

"Taemin?" He called, his throat tightening with culpability. "Taemin? Look at me. Calm down, please calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I won't let you go away. You won't be away from him."

He felt Taemin's small hands grip his shirt as sobs came out from his mouth one after the other, unstopping.

"Please," Jonghyun said, with his most soothing voice. "Please, forgive me. I promise you'll stay with him. Calm down."

Taemin managed to breathe in, but he was still shaky in Jonghyun's embrace.

"I'm sorry," Taemin cried quietly.

He thought back on Jongin's face, when the nymph was so worriedly asking him if he ever planned to go back to the mountains. That's what Jongin had been so scared about; for Taemin to go to a place where he couldn't follow. His heart tried to claw out of his chest at the memory. Now more than ever, Taemin wanted to run to the forest and call for his nymph. Maybe they could hide inside that house forever.

Jonghyun pecked his head gently and his back slowly, trying to get him to stop trembling so hard. They were squeezed uncomfortably on Taemin's armchair but Jonghyun didn't make any move to get away yet.

"I bring you nothing but troubles," Taemin whispered. "Jonghyun, I'm sorry."

"You did nothing wrong," Jonghyun immediately countered. "Please, just breathe now."

"I do want you to be happy."

"I know."

They hugged awkwardly in a mess of limbs for a few minutes, until Taemin was calm again. He put his head on Jonghyun's shoulder and sighed longly.

"What are we going to do now?"

"I have an idea," Jonghyun said, rubbing Taemin's side, "it may not be the best one, but we could make it work."

"What is it?"

Taemin sounded exhausted.

"Maybe you could confess to your nymph. 'Jongin', right? I mean... if you two are discreet about it, it should be alright. I don't mind you seeing him. When we'll be married, we'll share an apartment, but we don't have to share a bedroom, nor a bed. I never planned on that, actually. We can't exactly go around dating randomly or just having fun once in a while because that would be risky, and I don't want to get into troubles. But if you love him that much, it's worth it. Just be careful not to kiss him in front of too many witnesses."

He laughed lightly and tilted his head to look at Taemin, who was observing him with hesitant eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. I trust you to be mindful of me and responsible as to who knows about this."

Taemin wiped his cheeks from his tears with one hand and nodded slowly, his head still resting on Jonghyun.

"I promise I will. And you can of course see whoever you want on your side."

Jonghyun smiled at him.

"Thank you. I hope your nymph can work with that. Maybe in a few centuries when I'll have more power, I'll be able to offer us something better, but in the meantime, secrecy will have to do."

"Thank you so much. I'm sorry I put that much troubles on your shoulders."

"It's alright. Can I ask one thing of you?"

"Sure."

Taemin straightened up a bit, sitting on his legs as he rubbed his nose.

"Can you tell me when you go see him? Only so I don't worry about where you might be, and I know when to cover for you."

"Of course. Also, actually... I should tell you that Junmyeon knows about the whole affair. He's been the one covering up for me until now."

Jonghyun grinned at that, nodding.

"I figured that out already. Junmyeon knows everything."

Taemin sniffed loudly and rubbed his eyes, trying to get his face back to normal.

"That's true," he croaked.

Jonghyun laughed at the sound of his broken voice and tousled his hair.

"Come on now, you barely ate. Let's put some food in your stomach before you get called for your lessons."

At that, Taemin groaned.

"Oh dear, I forgot about those. I don't really want to learn kentaur today."

"Well, if you want, I'm having a meeting with Junmyeon, Minho and a bunch of guards about a supposed storm and how we have to take actions about it. We can tell your professor that you have to be here with me and that it's very important."

Taemin made a face at that and picked up the pieces of bread he had destroyed earlier, to put some jam on them. His hands were still a bit shaky, but he tried his best to calm down.

"Well, no offense, but I'll take kentaur over this."

Jonghyun laughed in his cup of tea and had to hit his chest to find his breath back.

"I won't blame you."

.

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Hello my dears !

Here is your long awaited chapter... I hope it was satisfying enough, ehe.
All the complicated secrets and unspoken problems are behind us now, and we're heading toward a cotton candy road. Are you happy? It was a bit long and difficult to get everything settled down and all secrets spilled, wasn't it?

Thank you for staying with me on this fic, thank you for reading it, thank you for your precious comments and support.

I haven't found next chapter's title yet, but it's gonna be grandiose. Also, to the cute little people here mostly for Jongkey, hold on a bit more my dear friends. I'm not forgetting about those two precious. Their time will come.

Take care ♥

Psss... if you're scared, I promised a happy ending. It was a promise. It's gonna be a real happy ending. I'm not gonna half- their happiness. So you can trust me & Baekhyun.