A/N: For those of you who might not be familiar with the expression, "all that and a bag of chips" is an old saying meaning that someone is everything you could possibly want and more!

1:00 AM, Jamsil-dong, Seoul

It all started with those goddamned honey butter chips.

“ you, too, you damned tasty chips!” Baekhyun hurled his face mask to the ground, tears and snot dripping down his face. Rehearsal for the upcoming SMTOWN LIVE concert had ended a mere thirty minutes ago, and usually Baekhyun would still be at the dance studio, laughing with s and formulating plots more convoluted and complex than the most illicit of drug deals to order late-night fried chicken without the managers finding out.

But today… Because of a certain elusive bag of crunchy, buttery, golden goodness, today was entirely ruined.

 12:30 AM, SM Headquarters, Cheongdam-dong, Seoul 

“We’re done for the night! Stretch out and head home now, especially those of you with schedules tomorrow!” The choreographer mopped sweat from her forehead, visibly just as exhausted as the idols heaving on the floor around her.

Baekhyun slid down the foggy practice room mirror with a squeak, burying his head in his arms.

“Don’t worry, hyung.” Kai tugged at his arm, snuggling all 182 centimeters of lean muscle into Baekhyun like the overgrown puppy he was. “Everyone understands. You just recovered from the flu, it’s no wonder you’re not in peak condition today.”

“But SMTOWN LIVE is in two weeks, and our concert is in three months, and I still can’t get any of the choreography right!” Baekhyun wailed. “And it’s not just that; my voice cracked so many times today I thought I was going through puberty again, and I forgot all the Chinese lyrics for ‘Miracles in December,’ and I accidentally tripped one of the backup dancers, and -”

“Quiet down for a moment, please!” One of the managers strode to the center of the room. “We know rehearsal was tough for all of you today. The fans know it too, and they all love you for it. To cheer you on, a group of EXO-Ls worked together to buy for each of you… honey butter chips!”

The studio brightened suddenly, excited chatter pouring out of mouths that had been panting with exhaustion mere moments earlier.

“You mean EXO-Ls bought us each a bag of the coveted Haitai Calbee Honey Butter Chips?!” Sooyoung sat up, eyes glowing as the manager nodded.

“Dude, I love your fans!” Taemin slapped Kai on the shoulder. “Those chips have been sold out absolutely everywhere! I heard even the Minister of Defense hasn't been able to get his hands on them!”

Onew raised his arms toward the heavens from where he was sprawled spread-eagle on the practice room floor. “Delectable, deep-fried nuggets of crispy gold dripping with sweet, buttery butter,” he rasped. “My body is ready!”

“See, Baekhyun hyung?” Kai’s eyes crinkled with the force of his smile. “The best things in life always come after rough days. That’s just how the universe works!”

Belly already growling in anticipation of the much lusted-after potato crisps, Baekhyun felt a little better and even mustered a tiny grin. When Kai received his bag from the managers with a sweet handwritten note from the fans cheering him on, his smile grew even more as he imagined the kind words of encouragement the fans must have written for him.

“Oh, Baekhyun.” His manager stopped in front of him and rifled through the box of chip bags, an eyebrow raised. “Huh, that’s funny. It seems like the fans didn’t drop off a bag for you. I’m so sorry, they must have forgotten about you or something.”

Baekhyun’s smile froze. EXO-L… forgot me?

“That’s okay,” he heard himself say with cheeriness so fake it hurt. “I’m supposed to be dieting anyway.”

The manager moved off with a regretful grimace and a pat on the back, and Baekhyun’s empty stomach dropped a little further with each step he took.

1:01 AM, Jamsil-dong, Seoul

“This is pathetic,” Baekhyun mumbled to himself, hastily picking the mask back up and securing it before anyone glimpsed his face. “I’m pathetic. A world famous idol, and here I am, moping around the streets of Seoul in the middle of the night because I was jilted by a bag of honey -”

He kicked a loose pebble, taking pleasure in the angry sound of it clattering down the street.

“Butter -”

Kick.

“Chips!”

Kick.

“Ouch!” A young woman turned around, scowling and rubbing the back of her head. Baekhyun froze.

.

Baekhyun turned and sprinted in a random direction, hurtling over the sidewalk faster than EXO’s rising YouTube views (although with the new algorithm, he had to admit that wasn't saying too much). He couldn't afford for anyone to see his face -- he could already imagine the headlines that would be plastered all over the magazines: Stone and run! EXO’s Baekhyun assaults innocent woman in street! Experts say court settlement may cost over 5 million won!

“Just bob and weave, Baekhyun,” he panted to himself, dodging a streetlight and turning the corner. “Bob and weave.”

The angry cri