"You are my sunlight, and you are my dark. You are my beauty that comes from a star."

It has been 10 months without you. How did I survive that long? I thought I was going to die of loneliness. The bags under my eyes have gotten worse, I could feel every bone sticking out of my body, but I never had the energy to eat.

I've considered drugs but your beautiful face came to my mind and telling me that it was wrong, so I didn't. You come back to influence me, but can you come back to love me?

You inspired me to fix myself. I asked Jinyoung to come over to cook food, I cleaned our once shared apartment, and I picked up the broken pieces of my heart, though I knew, you are the only one capable of fixing it. I took a bath, and wore some decent clothes instead of the hoodies that smelled like you, soaking with tears. I ate a lot, well Jinyoung shoved everything in my mouth and I almost choked once.

When I finally stepped out of my apartment, it was like a whole new world. Its been so long since I have seen the sun because when you were with me, you were my sun.

I walked along the streets, looking through every store we've been to together. It hurts that I still haven't heard from you. My heart still aches from the thought of you leaving me that night. I wish this was all a dream. That I will wake up from this nightmare and wake up next to you again.

I went inside your favorite plush toy store. I remembered how adorable you were trying to get me to buy you the plush toys and would sulk if I refuse. But I hated seeing you frown so I mostly would buy it for you.

There is so many things that I love about you and I can't explain it in words alone. It would take me years. I continued walking, allowing my feet to take me somewhere that even I don't know. I stopped by the riverbank. Remember that picnic basket that we abandoned because the police saw us having a date there at 3 am? We were such in a hurry to run that we forgot about it. It's still there. I carefully jumped near it, picking it up and examining it as if it was an artifact found by an archaeologist. I wasn't that surprised when I saw a rotten ham sandwich inside.

I decided to leave it there, in ca