You know the feeling when you thought you did the right thing, but it ended up hurting you instead? I think that's what I felt when I left Jaebum so suddenly. Things are- well, complicated.

I'm not quite sure where to start. All I know is that after accidentally meeting Jaebum's parents after work, I never felt so disgusted of myself. Jaebum's parents were kind of homophobic.. they never approved of me and Jaebum's relationship. I was surprised when they were in town. Did Jaebum know?

They told me that 'a lowly pathetic like me doesn't deserve a guy like Jaebum.' I was hurt, of course. I never thought they would go that far. Hell, they even offered me money to break up with the love my life. Jaebum's parents were infuriated at me that they started to threaten to ruin not only my life, but also Jaebum's.

I was scared, I can't let myself be a burden to Jaebum's future. I begged Jaebum's parents to not ruin Jaebum's life, I promised to break up with him.. its hard. But its a risk I'm willing to take. For Jaebum.

I called him that night. I said let's take a break, that we should think about our relationship. Even I knew there wasn't a thing to think about. But knowing Jaebum, this was the only way I could do to save his future. I cried after hanging up. I looked at Jaebum's parents who seemed satisfied and left me in the cold streets.

What hurts me even more is that I don't know what he'll do now. God, what if he kills himself? I could never live if I find out he's dead. Did I do the right thing?

I walked to the park. My phone rang a lot of times. I knew it was Jaebum, so I turned it off. I honestly don't even know what to say to him. If he found out it was because of his parents, he would cause havoc and I don't want that to happen. His parents are powerful enough to ruin lives.

I had nowhere to go to since me and Jaebum lived together. I cried harder and rain starts to pour down but I could care less anymore. I was so depressed. Maybe I should have talked to Jaebum about this. I'm sorry for being selfish, but I love Jaebum so much that I will risk my everything for him.

I was surprised when the rain wasn't pouring down anymore. I looked up and saw a guy that was covering me with his umbrella. He asked me if was okay. I said no. There was no need for me to pretend anymore. I chose this path, and its too late to go back. The guy, he told me his name was Mark. I told him my name as well. He offered me to stay at his place. I agreed since I had nowhere else to go.

He fed me chicken soup. I stared at it and before I knew it, I started crying again. Me and Jaebum would always eat chicken soup whenever it rains. I wonder what he is doing right now. Mark was kind enough to offer me his bed, I insisted on sleeping on the couch but he refused. Mark could tell that I was vulnerable. He wanted to know what happened. I told him while crying yet again.

How could I ever forget you? How can I ever forgive myself for letting you go?

It has been 3 months. I feel much more bette