Kim So remembered banquets from that long ago time, first when he was a prince, and then when he was King. Everything so regimented and structured; everyone had their place and dared not stray from it. Looking around the cafeteria of the Bella Bella flagship store, he found himself thinking that things hadn’t changed much in the last thousand years.

The setup was very classy and well done. There was no sign that Bok In Pyo had pulled all this together at the last minute. Of course there wasn’t; the man was a master of pulling rabbits out of a hat. A local catering company was brought in, and mouth-watering smells came from the chafing dishes filled with a variety of meats and vegetables, along with rice, side dishes and sweets. The store was closed for an hour while the employees sat and ate, chatting happily together at the tables around the room. Kim So was pleased to see it going so well, the response to the buyout was very positive so far from what he could see from this and comments and questions after the announcement yesterday. There was only one thing wrong. He didn’t have the company he wanted for this meal.

Among the tables there was one set up just for him, and it was here that So sat, surrounded by the management personnel from both Kim Corporation and Bella Bella. Men in expensive, well-tailored suits sat around him and laughed as they ate and drank. He was used to this, had spent years in business at many lunches like this. But today the business discussions and bad jokes just grated on his ears, because he really wanted to be on the other side of the room. Over there he could see Go Ha Jin, laughing with her coworkers as she ate, so pretty in her gray and rose uniform, her hair neatly swept up into a bun. She was well within his line of sight, but it might as well be a million miles away for all the good it did him.

So remembered dinners alone with Hae Soo in the palace, sitting together on the floor and feeding each other, just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. He wanted that again, and wished he could just walk over and join Ha Jin where she sat, but he couldn’t. He was where he was supposed to be, and she was where she was supposed to be. If he just up and sat with them out of nowhere there would be no end to the gossip, and he couldn’t do that to Ha Jin. It wasn’t easy to just sit here and do nothing out of the ordinary; he was frustrated that he was still at arms’ length from her even now, but he’d painted himself into this corner and while it got him what he wanted, a foot in the door, there were steps and rules he had to follow if he didn’t want things to blow up in his face.

His only consolation was that he wasn’t the only one forced to keep his distance. Hong Chan Ki was at the next table over with some of his coworkers. So caught him looking at Ha Jin earlier; it looked like the lawyer was trying to catch her eye, but when he finally did she only looked away with a stiffness that pleased So greatly. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened between the two, but ultimately it didn’t matter as long as it was now nipped in the bud.

Lost in his thoughts, So eventually came back to himself only to realize that Ha Jin was staring back at him. A look of confusion was on her face, and So told himself that he should look away, that he might be embarrassing the poor woman who was completely unaware of who he was and who they were to each other so many lifetimes ago, but he found he couldn’t. Her eyes, so big and beautiful; it was amazing how much he found himself missing them. Couldn’t he just have a moment to gaze into them, to pretend that this wasn’t a new world and a new life?

Apparently not. The manager to the right of him took So’s attention away for a minute or two with a business-related question he couldn’t ignore, and when he looked over to Ha Jin’s table she was focused on her lunch again.

It’s going to take time… he told himself. Complete reset, he was starting over with her. This was what he wanted, right? A blank slate, a chance to do it over and do it right. Yesssssssss….

But that didn’t stop it from being damn annoying.

Keeping his sigh of frustration to himself, So made himself smile politely as the man next to him complimented him again on the meal.

It wasn’t for you…shut up and leave me alone…

0-o-o-o-0

He was doing it again.

Lunch was so delicious. Ha Jin had filled her plate with her favorite foods and was happily eating with Sang-mi and a couple of the others (including Eun Bi, who was actually keeping shut for a change). Hong Chan Ki had tried to catch her eye a little while ago, but while she might pity the man, the office gossip she’d end up with if she spent time with him just wasn’t worth it. She thought she’d brushed him off just fine, but that ended up being just the beginning of her troubles. When she looked up again, mouth full of really good bulgolgi, she ended up looking right into the eyes of Kim So. He was on the other side of the room, surrounded by the company higher-ups, but like the day before, he seemed to be looking right at her. The expression on his face was indecipherable, and she wondered how long he’d been staring at her. What was it? Why did his eyes always seem to find her whenever they were in the same room? It was a little unsettling, especially because she found herself wanting to stare back. Why did those eyes draw her in but at the same time make her want to run? She knew what Sang-mi would say, but Ha Jin didn’t believe in fairy tales, not anymore. She just wanted her nice, ordinary life.

Kim So turned away to listen to something the man next to him was saying, and once she was freed from his gaze she found herself able to turn her own head and pay attention to what her coworkers were saying. For the rest of lunch she made herself not look in his direction, and not liking how much she wanted to see him anyway. It made her self-conscious, and a little mad. Was she doing something wrong? Did she have something in her teeth? Running her tongue over them she didn’t feel anything, but anything was possible and it would be awkward to get out her compact and check right there at the table.

By the time lunch was over she was determined to get to the bottom of it, and as everyone got up and started making their way back to work, Ha Jin stalked over to Bella Bella’s new owner. He and the general manager were standing at their table, still chatting. There was a pause in their conversation, and Mr. Yang looked her way.

“Yes, Miss Go, can I help you?”

“Actually, I have a question for Mr. Kim, sir.”

Kim So raised an eyebrow. He’d noticed her as soon as she approached them, and kept an eye on her as he talked to the older man. Now that gaze was fully on her again, and Ha Jin’s mouth felt dry.

“It’s okay, Mr. Yang. We can continue this discussion later.” He said. Both Ha Jin and Mr. Yang recognized the obvious dismissal in his tone.

“Of course sir.” The latter said, and bowed before leaving.

Kim So didn’t even turn to see him go, Ha Jin noticed. His attention was completely on her.

“How can I help you, Miss Go?” he asked. His tone was businesslike, but there was a smile present in his eyes that he didn’t let loose into the rest of his face.

Ha Jin felt a little awkward now asking this; maybe she was wrong? If so, she’d be completely embarrassed, and in front of the new boss too. She plowed ahead though, having come this far.

“Well…umm…I’ve noticed you watching me. It seems to happen a lot. And I want to know why.”

0-o-o-o-0

So wasn’t sure why Ha Jin had approached him, he was just so damn happy she did. He’d seen her come closer as he talked to the manager, feeling curious, and then when she stopped near them he’d wanted the other man to just go away. Thankfully the man knew how to take orders quickly (being in power definitely had its perks), leaving him alone with Ha Jin. 

So didn’t expect what came out of though. Caught off guard, he coughed, and quickly took a drink of water to cover his embarrassment. Unfortunately for him it tried to go down the wrong way, which only made him cough harder. The agitation in his throat made tears spring to his eyes and he closed them. A moment later he felt someone pat his back hesitantly as he coughed.

“Mr. Kim, are you okay?” Ha Jin asked, and despite his discomfort So heard the concern in her voice. It was so familiar and dear to him that for a moment he was ready to cry for another reason. No. He couldn’t cry here in the cafeteria of the company he just bought. Get a hold of yourself Kim So. He told himself harshly.

Taking another drink of water, So calmed himself down. Crap. He didn’t think he’d been so obvious, but apparently he was.

“Mr. Kim?”

He’d still not answered her; he needed to say something or else risk drawing attention from more people, which he really didn’t want.

“I’m okay. Water tried to go down the wrong way. Thank you for your concern.”

“Okay.” Ha Jin eyed him carefully, clearly unsure if he really was okay. “Back to my question.”

“Of course.” Crap. He was hoping she’d forget it in her concern over his health. “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

Ha Jin narrowed her eyes. “You keep staring at me. Why?”

I love you. I miss you. It’s been over a thousand years but it feels like I just lost you yesterday.

He paused a moment. “I? I was just wondering why this one girl keeps staring at me. Any given moment, it seems like those big eyes are looking in my direction. I was trying to decide if I mind. And you know what? It turns out I don’t.”

The shade of red that Ha Jin’s face turned was very satisfying to So’s ego.

“Now if you’ll excuse me Miss Go, I have some meetings to attend. I hope you enjoyed your lunch.”

“Um…yes. Thank you.” Still blushing, Ha Jin gave a bow and left.

Okay, that could have gone better. But…not bad. So thought in amusement, watching her hurry away.

0-o-o-o-0

The letters from today’s mail landed on top of the growing stack, but as is inevitable, today was the straw that broke the camel’s back and the pile collapsed, scattering envelopes over the floor. Grimacing, Chan Ki knelt and began picking them up. He couldn’t put this off forever; he had to start opening and answering them.

Carrying them to the coffee table, he set them down and began a quick sort; junk mail in the trash can, bills in one pile, correspondence in another. It was while he was dumping the junk letters that he saw the message light on the landline phone blinking. He wasn’t sure why he kept that phone anymore; they’d rarely used it and these days it just collected spam calls. Pressing the button, he nearly collapsed onto the couch at the sound of the voice that came through.

“Chan Ki, call my lawyer as soon as you get this.”  Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, Ye Seul’s voice was as crisp and clear as if she were standing in the room with him. “She says you’re ignoring her calls and still haven’t signed the divorce paperwork she sent you. I don’t understand why you’re being like this. You made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t the priority in our marriage, so I would think you’d be eager to have this over and done with so you can get back to work. Call her, okay?”

He could remember when they’d ended their phone calls with soft, whispered goodbyes and murmurs of affection. Those days were long gone; now Ye Seul just hung up when she was finished. The click when she disconnected the call was sharp, and the room was returned to what was now its normal state of silence. No mention of how to reach her, of course not. If his wife had wanted to actually talk to him she would have called him on his cell instead of leaving a message here. And Chan Ki had no desire to talk to the lawyer. One conversation with the woman was enough. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already know what she was going to say. Sign the papers.

If he looked at the coffee table he would see the envelope he’d avoided for days laying there under a few other letters. It would be so easy to do. Too easy. All he had to do was walk over there, open the envelope, sign the documents inside, and his marriage would be over.

Too easy. Like a jumping off a cliff. One step, he’d be off the edge and it would be over and done with. But that step, oh that first step.

Shying away from his coffee table like it really was a cliff, Chan Ki went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He’d made stew last night as part of a reminder to keep healthy, and he heated up the leftovers now, mindlessly watching the bowl as it turned in the microwave. When it was finished heating, he took it into his study and ate while going over paperwork from the office. The takeover by Kim Corporation had gone smoothly, and Chan Ki was now officially their employee. His former bosses had hardly put up a fuss, but he supposed for that amount of money he might not have either if he was in their position. His only concern now was how would he come up with the funds to make an offer that could be taken seriously, given what Kim So had shelled out for Bella Bella.

Swallowing his last bite of stew, Chan Ki sighed and leaned back against his office chair, closing his eyes. Memory being the vicious that she is, the first thing he saw in his mind’s eye was Ha Jin talking to his former brother today at lunch. He didn’t know what the man had said, but the way she’d blushed made him seethe inside. Why couldn’t he make her blush like that? He had memories of making Hae Soo blush, sweet moments together so many lifetimes ago. Seeing Ha Jin like that brought it back, and he wanted it again. He’d tried to catch her attention, but she was determined to ignore him. Stubborn in any lifetime was this girl, and while he’d loved it in her once upon a time, it just made things difficult now.

Oh but that’s right too, he wasn’t supposed to be messing with Ha Jin. ‘Stay away from Ha Jin’ Speaking of stubborn in any lifetime, that could go for So as well. He didn’t believe in fate, but he thought it odd he and Kim So both retained memory of their Goryeo lives. Why that lifetime, out of all the ones that must have occurred before then or happened since then up until now? Surely there were other times, other lives that could be more interesting to remember. Why not a merchant on the Silk Road, travelling the world? That could have been an interesting life. But no, he had to remember being a prince. Others might think that might not be a bad life to remember, but having lived it, he knew the truth. It was a horror. One of the few things he remembered making it worth it was her. But now she couldn’t remember, and he could. Maybe it was fate after all, punishing him. But the memories she brought weren’t all bad, which is why Chan Ki kept feeling himself go back, even when there were more important things to think about in the here and now.

0-o-o-o-0

They walked silently as the snow fell on their way back to the estate, the only sound being the crunch of their feet on the snow. Hae Soo was being awfully quiet, and as he looked back he could see that she was walking in his footsteps, a look of concentration on her face as she tried to carefully place each of her small feet in his larger tracks. It was rather cute, and he couldn’t help but smile as he turned around again. The next thing he knew, he was taking larger strides, making her shorter legs work harder to keep up with him. It wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but it was like being with one of his younger brothers; a more playful side of him came out when she was around.

Of course she couldn’t keep up, but thankfully his quick reflexes helped prevent her from falling down. And as he took her pale little hand, he looked into those big eyes and was reminded that no, she was not one of his younger brothers. She might have some of Eun’s innocence and mischief but she was most definitely female. That innocence and mischief combined with the sweetness she could show sometimes, and his heart couldn’t help but beat faster, something that was happening all too often in her presence. It wasn’t right. She was his wife’s cousin and was here to care for her. He needed to remember that; his lady should be his first priority and his thoughts should be on her. But Soo brought him a joy he’d not felt in a long time, not even during the days of Myung Hee’s best health. She lightened his heart, freed him of the weight of the responsibilities he had.

His family and the palace demanded so much; why couldn’t he just have this one little thing for himself? It wasn’t so much to ask. He wasn’t important. Neither was she. No one should care if they had this, to love and care for each other. It was just a little thing, nothing at all in the grand scheme of things. And yet, in the light of her smile, it felt like everything.

 Deep within what was usually a troubled sleep these days, Chan Ki smiled.