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If I had known someone would die because of me, I would not have been so greedy to live again…

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The rain was cold as it soaked into her clothing, causing it to cling to her tender, abused skin; stinging where it seeped into her still open wounds. The flagstones of the courtyard where she knelt were hard beneath her knees. She’d knelt for so long now, and her legs had hurt before from where the guards had tortured her but now was added a constant ache that wouldn’t go away no matter how she tried to ignore it. But she couldn’t move. She knew now that nothing would move the King to acknowledge her silent plea, that her mentor would die in her place, but she still couldn’t move. She owed it to the woman who’d been like a second mother to her. Someone had to protest, had to show that at least one person cared about this innocent life that was being thrown away. It wasn’t fair. She was sure that the King, that everyone knew who was really to blame for what happened, but that person was untouchable so they were willing to let someone else take the blame just to keep peace in the palace.

Someone was standing over her, keeping the worst of the rain off of her with his cloak, and part of her knew who it was but the rest of her was so numb with misery that she couldn’t rouse herself to acknowledge his presence. This was her fault, all her fault. If she’d only agreed to leave when Lady Oh made the offer they could have been free by now, safely away from the palace. A quiet life in a little town, free from the politics and intrigue that hung like a sword over the necks of all who lived here. But no, she’d been foolish, blinded by the love she thought she had. And now it was too late. The love she thought was hers, the love she thought would keep her safe and give her a happy life, was nothing more than a mirage, a fantasy that blew away like mist in the first sign of storm. He’d not said a word to her, wouldn’t even come to her in her time of need. He just turned and walked away, and that betrayal hurt more than the physical torture she’d experienced.

The sound of the gong broke through the rain, and with that she knew that her dear friend was gone. Soo cried out her name, and collapsed to the cold stones in grief and exhaustion. Strong arms clutched at her, and she could hear a voice calling to her, but all she could do was scream, until finally darkness took her…

Ha Jin woke up with raw, and her face still wet from tears. She must have had a nightmare, but no trace of the contents remained, just an overwhelming sense of loss. It wasn’t the first one she’d experienced, and she suspected it probably wouldn’t be the last. Ever since she woke up from her coma they’d happened; not every night but often enough that it bothered her. Despite this, it wasn’t something she tried to dig deeply into. Most people would want to know what they’d dreamt of, but Ha Jin had a feeling she was better off not knowing.

She couldn’t lie in bed like this though. She had a job to go to. Getting up, Ha Jin went through her morning routine, cleaned herself up and dressed before going downstairs for breakfast. Her brother Jae Yoon was already in the kitchen, scooping out rice into two bowls.

“Where’s Mom?” she asked, trying to take one of the bowls. Her brother swatted her hand with the spoon though.

“Ah ah, no. You’re not having just that. You have to eat healthy.” He said, handing her a plate of fruit and eggs.

Ha Jin made a face at him, but took both dishes before going to the table. “You’re not the boss of me. I’m still older.”

“Yeah, by one year. And since you spent a year in a coma, I consider us even now.” Jae Yoon took his own food and sat down across from his sister.

“Whatever. So where’s Mom?” she asked, full of food.

“Don’t you remember? She’s got an earlier shift this week.”

“Oh. That’s right too.”

“And don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s a good thing your customers can’t see you like this. Real lady-like.” He said, shaking his head.

Ha Jin stuck her tongue out at him, a couple of pieces of rice clinging to it. Like he was an expert on good manners or something. She knew better; she’d heard stories about some of the things soldiers got into on their free time. Jae Yoon started his military service two…no, three years ago now. She’d missed a year while she was in the hospital. He’d stayed for an additional year after his required time was ended in order to have some more training in his chosen field, but now he was out and working in an architectural firm. It had been hard to picture at first, her artistic brother doing something so dull like architecture, but he’d shown her so many interesting things. While she was in the hospital he brought in books about architectural design from all of the world; he sat on the side of her bed and pointed out things, talking about why certain things developed the way they did and what people could learn from it. He left some of the books with her and looking at them by herself once visiting hours were over she couldn’t find herself getting overly excited about it, but the pictures were beautiful and she could see why Jae Yoon was so interested. He’d always liked both art and history, and while architecture wasn’t quite what she’d pictured him doing, she had to admit that he had the potential to make a lot more money as an architect than as a teacher.

And they definitely needed money. When her husband died in a workplace accident years ago, Go Se Hyeon was left with two children in school. Both her parents and his were still alive, and while the grandparents helped when they could, neither family was wealthy and she worked long hours to take care of her children. Both Ha Jin and Jae Yoon took part time jobs as soon as they were old enough. College for both was out of the question, but since Ha Jin had no real idea of what she wanted to do it was decided that Jae Yoon would be the one to pursue higher education and so he studied art while she took a job at a makeup store. Thankfully she found she enjoyed working with health and beauty products and was good at it.  The pay wasn’t a lot, at least where she first started. The more upscale store she worked at now though paid better, but the hospital bills while she was in the coma were expensive so most of her paycheck was going to help with those.

It was kind of a conundrum. Yes, she had a better job now, but to get where she was now she’d had to go through her ex-boyfriend dumping her for her now ex-friend and stealing her savings. Then there was the whole business of drowning and laying in the hospital for a year. Would it have been better to not have gone through that, and still be back where she was, with the lesser job, but to still have her boyfriend, her best friend, and her money? Maybe, but as Ha Jin went about starting her life again she found that she didn’t really miss her exes that much (both the ex-boyfriend and the ex-friend) and what she really missed was her money. That could be replaced though; once the hospital bills were paid she could start rebuilding her savings. In the meantime, the family would be living on a budget, but they were used to that.

 At least her brother was home again. She’d missed Jae Yoon while he was doing his military service. If he’d been around maybe she’d have dealt with the breakup better, and not sat around drinking by herself by the side of a quarry. There’d still be drinking involved, but at least she wouldn’t have been doing it alone. And if her ex hadn’t split town, he probably would have ended up on the wrong side of her brother’s fist. It’s too bad, Ha Jin would be honest and admit she wouldn’t have minded seeing Jae Yoon give him a black eye. And a broken nose. Maybe a busted lip too. Or maybe that was going a little too far. Oh well, definitely the black eye at least. But no, he’d left town. It showed he wasn’t completely stupid.

“It’s just you, why should I act?” Ha Jin said, before stuffing a piece of fruit in . Mmm…so good. Lunch was probably just going to be ramen noodles or leftovers from last night, so she needed to fill up on good stuff now. Jae Yoon was actually right. Not that she’d tell him.

“Practice. Pretend I’m a rich customer. Better yet, pretend I’m a handsome, rich businessman.” Jae Yoon said, sitting up in his chair and pretending like he was straightening out a suit jacket.

“Pffft. My imagination isn’t that good.”

“You never know. One could walk into the store one day, fall madly in love with you and whisk you off to a life of leisure.”

“I’m not holding my breath while I wait.” Ha Jin replied while she ate, but already she was picturing the man from yesterday, the one with the beautiful eyes and the sweet smile. There was something about that smile, it transformed him from just handsome to something…ugh, what was she doing, mentally drooling over a customer like this? Rich, pretty guys like that are just bad news. The only thing guys like that thought ordinary girls like her were good for was a good time. Was she really that eager to get her heart stomped on again? Oh hell no.

“Did you sleep well last night?” Jae Yoon asked.

Ha Jin gave a noncommittal shrug. “Yeah.”

“Liar. I heard you screaming last night. Again.”

“Well if you heard it, why did you ask?”
 

“Because I was hoping you’d want to talk about it. What were you dreaming?” Her brother looked at her curiously while he ate.

She shook her head. “I don’t remember. I never do.”

“Hm. Must have been pretty bad. It sounded like someone was killing you or something.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Why not?”

“If I don’t remember then I don’t have to think about it. Ignorance is bliss, right?”

Jae Yoon shrugged. “Maybe. Personally I’d rather know, then maybe I could find a way to deal with it, maybe even make them go away.”

“Whatever. I don’t want to deal with it. I just want them to stop.” 

Ha Jin crammed the last bit of eggs into and took her dishes up to the sink. After washing them, she grabbed a package of instant noodles out of the cupboard and an apple from the bowl on the counter.

“I’m going to be late if I don’t go.” She said, leaning down to kiss the top of her younger brother’s head. “Are you cooking tonight?”

“Maybe. I might be late tonight, they’ve got us junior folk running ragged on the new project. Mom will make something if I can’t.”

“Hrm. I know, but I was hoping she could get some more sleep. She’s been looking so tired lately.” Ha Jin said, starting to leave the kitchen.

“It’ll be okay now that you’re home. She can take fewer hours.”

“That’s right. We’ll make her. See you!” she called before leaving the house.

0-o-o-o-0

The break room for Bella Bella’s employees was in the back of the building, and since this was the flagship store it was also on the way to the elevator that went up to the second floor that housed the company’s corporate office. Ha Jin was at a table by herself, slurping noodles while she poured over the catalog for their current collection. She picked up things quickly and her supervisor was pleased with how well she was doing on just her second day, but Ha Jin needed to make sure she remembered everything. It wasn’t something she’d worried about too much with her last job, but this was a much more high class place than the last store she worked at. There was an image that Bella Bella had, for being consultants and personal attendants for their clients, instead of clerks who just sold makeup and skin cream. Her supervisor said that the customers took the advice of the people here seriously, and after just one day Ha Jin had seen that. She had to be familiar with all products in order to make the best recommendations. So here she was, studying on her lunch break.

It was okay, it wasn’t like she had any friends here yet anyway. The staff was mainly female and they were nice enough so far, but they were a little cliquish and she hadn’t earned entrance into their circle yet, not after just one day. Ha Jin wasn’t too worried about it. She’d make friends or she wouldn’t. Either way, she was here to work and she would do her best. But not just to make money, though that was important. The training material she was provided yesterday wasn’t just a list of products and prices, it was actually interesting. It talked about the science behind the items the company sold, the foundations in nature that were behind each product’s creation, and how to combine them with healthy living for the best results. Ha Jin found herself wanting to learn more.

Caught up in her reading, she wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings. There was chatter going on around her from the other tables where some of the other staff were having their own breaks, but it wasn’t very loud. But her table was near the entrance and so when someone passed the open door, his conversation carried to where Ha Jin was sitting.

“..this does seem rather sudden. Did they explain the reason for the offer? The Kim Corporation doesn’t usually deal with this type of business…”

As he strode by, the sound of his voice faded but Ha Jin wasn’t really paying attention anyway. She didn’t even look up. She certainly didn’t see the man take a look back at the break room, an expression on his face reminiscent of one who’d seen a ghost.

0-o-o-o-0

After lunch, it was back to work. It was slow this afternoon; one of her coworkers explained that it was normal, and business would pick up later after people left their offices. To keep busy, Ha Jin started taking inventory and straightening out items on the shelves. Humming to herself, she was thinking about what she should pick up for dinner after work so her mom wouldn’t have to cook.

“Excuse me.”

Startled, she looked up. The man in front of her was tall and broad shouldered, in a suit so well-tailored that he could have been mistaken for a men’s clothing model.

“I’m so sorry sir. I didn’t hear you. Welcome to Bella Bella, how can I help you today?” she said with a little bow.

“No no, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” He grinned, a smile that fit perfectly in his open, handsome face. “And you don’t have to start your sales pitch with me. I work here as one of Bella Bella’s corporate lawyers. Are you new here, miss…..?”

“Ha Jin. Go Ha Jin.” She replied, curious as to what one of the company’s lawyers could want with her. “And yes. This is my second day here.”

“Nice to meet you Miss Go. I’m Hong Chan Ki, and I guess I should be the one welcoming you. How do you like it here so far?”

“I’m pleased to be here. This is a very well-known company and everyone is very friendly.”

Hong Chan Ki nodded. “Good, good. I..um…..” he paused, shifting his weight. “This is going to sound a little strange, but have we met before? You look familiar for some reason.”

Ha Jin looked at the taller man, trying to think of where she might have seen him before, but she wasn’t coming up with anything. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t think so. Did we meet?”

For a moment he looked almost…disappointed…but then it went away and the smile returned. “I don’t know. Maybe. Originally I’d thought so but now I’m wondering if I was just imagining things. I was passing by the break room earlier; you were there eating and for a moment it just seemed like I should know you from somewhere. But maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t. I’d hate to find out that I’d forgotten a pretty face like yours.”

Ha Jin felt herself color a little and looked away. It was kind of cheesy, but there was a warmth to his voice that was very pleasing and so she didn’t scoff at the compliment the way she would have after her breakup. Still, she was here to work, not flirt, and she had to remind herself of her resolution to stay away from men. Besides, he was probably just trying to break the ice with the new girl, make her feel welcome.

She wasn’t sure how to respond and so she turned her attention back to her shelves.

Chan Ki chuckled. “Did I render you speechless?”

“No, it’s just that I’m supposed to be working and I’d hate to get in trouble for looking like I’m slacking off on my second day.” Ha Jin said, still not looking at him as she went back to straightening the various products.

“Well I’d hate to be the reason you were in trouble. And you’re right of course; you’ve just started and so you want to make a good impression. Maybe we could continue this conversation later, over a cup of coffee?”

Ha Jin shook her head. “Thank you, but I need to get home after work, to make dinner for my family.”

“Ah.” He sounded taken aback, and she snuck a glance to see that the smile had faded. “Is there a Mr. Go then?”

“Yes.” 

Chan Ki looked disappointed. “I see. I apologize then.”

Ha Jin’s lips curved into what was almost a smirk. “He’s my younger brother.”

“That’s not nice.” Chan Ki gave her a look that tried to be stern, but didn’t quite manage it.

“Well you did ask.” She hadn’t meant to , but the words were out of before she realized what she was doing. And now she couldn’t take them back, but she found herself not regretting it. Something about him made her want to return his smiles and jokes, even if it was probably a bad idea.

“Okay, okay, I know how to take a hint.” Chan Ki nodded, shoving manicured hands into the pockets of his slacks. “So I can’t bother you while you’re working and I can’t see you after work. But not getting to know you isn’t an option I like, so when can I see you?”

Ha Jin looked back at her nice, neat row of jars and boxes. “Well, since we’re coworkers, you can join me at lunch.” 

That seemed like a safe alternative. Hong Chan Ki looked like the type of guy who spent his lunches at four or five star restaurants with clients, and since they were probably working lunches he also probably got paid to eat those places too. Must be nice. She thought to herself. He’d get bored pretty quick if he had to hang out with Ha Jin and her ramen noodles in the company break room.

The lawyer was back to grinning again. He must be used to switching gears at the drop of a hat. “Okay, it’s a date then. See you tomorrow, coworker.” He said, and with a little bow he left the main area of the shop. Ha Jin wondered how he was going to know when to join her, but then remembered that he said he’d seen her in the break room earlier, so he already knew when she took her lunch. She didn’t foresee any problems tomorrow. He’d join her for lunch, they’d chat for a little while, and before too long he’d either get called away to a meeting or find some other reason to leave after she made it clear to him that all he would get from her was a friendly coworker.

It was a shame though. All these beautiful men she was meeting now. Where were they before she met her louse of an ex and ended up dumped, broke and in the hospital? Of course these guys could be louses as well, just better-dressed ones. There was no way to know until you unwrapped them. But she wasn’t about to do unwrapping, no matter how pretty they were.

It really is a shame though…Ha Jin thought as she got back to doing her job.

0-o-o-o-0

Hong Chan Ki was on the phone again as he entered his office and shut the door behind him.

“I see.” He said, sitting down at his desk. “No, that won’t be necessary. We can take care of it next week. Before you go though, I want you to call the Kim Corporation and let their person know that I’ll need to push that lunch meeting back tomorrow.”  He picked up a pen and started doodling idly on the pad of scratch paper he kept for taking notes.

“Yes I know, but…” he paused, as a vision of bright, beautiful eyes came back to him. Eyes that were completely new to him but at the same time were ones he’d known forever. “…I need to reschedule. Something more important has come up.”