To said it was hard, would be an understatement. She is their very first child, and knowing that she struggled alone not only made them ache with pain but also they were really clueless as to what should they do to make their daughter feel better and get better? The first 2 years was hell, they can't really understand what Soojung wants, but being a kind-hearted heart that she is, she just cried when she got frustrated, never actually throw tantrum, they always managed to calm her down somehow, she always does when she is in Seunghyun's arms especially, she will just nuzzled into his neck and cried softly only to end up with drooling and sleeping there. They're thankful for every moments with Soojung, let it be the difficult and the happy ones. When it was hard, the fathers would called their respective mom to asked for what to do. Seunghyun's mom wanted to help with babysitting but they always turned it down, there's no way in hell they'd burden her with babysitting when she's already old and when she already went thru a lot. Still, Seunghyun's mom came and stayed with them at Soojung's very first weeks just to make sure that her grandchild is doing okay, she even packed some packets of milk for her and also kimchi and korean foods for her daddies. And Seunghyun was way more than thankful for that. 

They already past their grudges and regrets towards BIGBANG's disbandment. Hell, there wasn't any regrets, they were all thankful. There's no way that they could do it forever aight? But they still love their dongsaengs still. The day Soojung was born, Daesung, Youngbae and Seungri paid them a visit and stayed in their home for two weeks. They made up for the absence and they loved Soojung as much as their daddies do. 

For a 4 years old, Soojung is so ahead of her peers. She could sing-song all the alphabet, could talk well in both korean and english, also is good in her piano lessons, she was always behave, even when she was upset she'd just go to her room to calm herself and goes back to play with either Jiyong or Seunghyun. She was everything they'd ever wanted, sometimes they wonder what did they do in the past life, that they deserves such a sweet daughter like her. Sometimes they forgot that Soojung was struggling. Being visually impaired was hard, and in her 2nd year, they found out that there's a high possibility of her being mute and deaf too in the future. Jiyong's heart sank, so did Seunghyun. If only they could take her pain away, they would. But then they did whatever it takes for her to get better, they took her to therapy, linguistic, table manner, and two surgeries later, she's well on her own feet. She could talk really well now, her hearings also getting better and better each days, but sadly not with her eyes. But they're thankful with that, and being an angel that she is, she once said to Jiyong - "It's okay appa, even if I can't see you, I knew all to well that you, you and dad love me, and that's enough." Jiyong just hold her tightly after that. He can't say anything anymore, so he took her home after her usual therapy and let her sleep. He made sure he knew that they accept and love her nevertheless, that she's no less worthy just because her condition. 

It's just their usual day, after doing her visual therapy, he'd come home to reheat the meals and waited for Seunghyun to come home only to found that the object of his lifetime affection was already putting pororo dvd on tv, Soojung's fav. Turns out Seunghyun set dinner on their coffee table at the tv room this evening, so Jiyong took his respectful seat and let Soojung crawled to her favourite daddy.

"Appa, it seems to me that dad is home, is he?"

"Yeah, brilliant girl, he's there sitting in front of the couch, are you brave enough to walk up to him?"

"Of course I am appa!"

Seunghyun and Jiyong watched in awe that their daughter does so much better, and by that Seunghyun welcomed her in his arms. 

"Good job, baby. You're amazing. Next time, we'll walk at our park, okay?"

"Okay. I can't wait dad. So what's for dinner?"

"I came home early today and I cooked for both of you, let me help you taste em. So this is radish kimchi from your grandma, this is rice that appa cooked this morning, this is cream soup that I made earlier, and these are chopped chicken, and also can you guess what this is?"

Soojung concentrates hard and tried to smelled that and -

"Yanggaeng!"

"Yes, we'd save that after our meal. Let's eat."

Jiyong's heart swelled with happiness, watching them like that. That Seunghyun was such a supportive partner thruout their life together, that Seunghyun somehow knew that when they both decided to have kids, it'll be both their responsibilities. And he is glad and never once he regrets this, having family with Seunghyun and Soojung. It's all that there is for him, he ain't need anything else. Soojung also kept getting a whole lot better, she can even eat by her self, her doctor, teacher, and therapies are doing such a good job in helping her.

"Here is your bowl of rice, on the left or it are your fork and your spoon, and on the left there is a plate with one odeng, chopped chicken, and kimchi. Is that okay?"

"But appa what about my cream soup?"

"Seunghyun! She's asking for her cream soup now!"

"Aye aye baby! I'm reheating it, sending it your way asap!"

"Aye aye daddy!"

She finished it all, gulped her cream soup in one go, with a little help from Jiyong. Jiyong and Seunghyun exchanged glances and they knew all to well that they never been this proud before, that this was such a huge achievement for this little girl right here. As she stared in front, she can't helped but asked - 

"Dad, Is the pororo still on?"

"Yes, pororo is baking cookies now, uh but crong is up to something too, it's like crong is going to eat all of pororo's cookies."

"Ah I see, Is that why the pororo is looking like that dad?"

Seunghyun knew that Soojung was trying to pointed towards the tv but then he turned to her and found out that she pointed at their kitchen's instead, and suddenly Seunghyun needs a break.

"Do you wanted to wear your pororo hat? so that you'd match with them? I'll go get it now."

"Yes! I want it, dad."

*

It's been 10 minutes and Jiyong wonders what the hell happened with Soojung's pororo hat that Seunghyun haven't yet to be found.

"Soojung, I'll help dad search for your hat, will you be okay here alone?"

"Sure appa, I'm 4, not 2, don't worry about me."

"Okay miss. I'll be back, here have your yanggaeng."

And oh how Jiyong's gut was right, he found Seunghyun on the floor of their bedroom, crying while clutching Soojung's pororo hat in his chest.

So he told him self in his head - brace your self Kwon Jiyong, you must be strong for him, for your daughter too. He didn't know what to do - so he just kneel near Seunghyun and engulfed him in a hug, Seunghyun places his head at Jiyong's chest and cries.

"She still can't see , Jiyong. It's been 4 years, we've been trying a lot in these 4 years and she still can't see, what were the doctors do? What do they wanted? Why can't they helped my daughter, Jiyong, why?"

"Seunghyun, please."

Jiyong didn't even bother to talk about the others aspects that Soojung excelled like her hearing, linguistic, singing, and even piano skill cos he knew that deep down all they wanted was that for her to be able to see and hear and talk properly. Even if she's good with her hearing and talking now, they'd still wish she would be able to look, to see.

"It's okay, we'll try again, we'll try again won't we, for Soojung. We will try again, right Seunghyun?"

When Seunghyun calmed down, he helped him washed his face, changed into pajama, and join Soojung downstairs. They found Soojung was still munching her last piece of yanggaeng.

"Appa, daddy, are you back? with my hat?"

"Yes here it is baby, sorry it was hard to found cos we forgot where did we put it."

"It's okay daddy, it's okay. Here is my yanggaeng for you."

"Thank you! I'll eat well."

As she put on her pororo cap and goes back to sit, Jiyong can't help but asked

"So appa didn't get any?"

"Sorry appa I ate them all, but since you didn't, can you come here?"

Jiyong crawled to her side and crunched next to her and then she tried to grabbed his face and she placed a kiss on his right cheek.

"I love you, appa. Let's watch Pororo now?"

Jiyong cried silently, he just placed her on his thigh and hugged her.

Soojung ended up eating a lot and sleeping on the couch next to them. Seunghyun and Jiyong still sit next to each other, without saying anything. Seunghyun pop a bottle of red wine from his shelf, made of his company, and pour one glass for Jiyong, and one for him. And then he placed his head on Jiyong's shoulder. Jiyong who was also tired and sleepy starts to drift to sleep and then he heard Seunghyun recites that poem, their poem, the poem that made them decided to left all past behind and to build a new life in a place that they didn't even know how to pronounced.

"Having a coke with you is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona."

By that Jiyong just held Seunghyun's free hand that didn't hold his glass and linked to his as if to say we will get thru this.

"Parly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt, - it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary -"

And Seunghyun jabbed and ended it with,

"Which is not going to wasted on me which is why I'm telling you about it"

*

They took Soojung to bed like usual - tonight, placed her in between them, kissed her forehead and drifted to sleep.

Seunghyun being a night owl that he is, somehow managed to nudged Jiyong's cheek with his fingers and that earn a yawn from Jiyong. By that Seunghyun tried really hard to voiced his tought very carefully while also caressing Soojung's back, afraid that she'd be disturbed with them.

"What is it, Seunghyun?"

"I'm thinking to take Soojung back home."

"Home?"

"I've been searching that Korea now had got this perfect technology that would help Soojung. From what I've heard, laser or even transplant would go well with her. You don't have to say yes, I just want us to be in the same page, I wasn't thinking about the caution of how maybe K-press would made us into their news and bashed about our daughter, but I couldn't care less. We could hire a lot of people to back us up that we'd undergo a trip and hospital treatment for her alll in secrecy. I already knew whom to contact."

"Are you sure about this, Seunghyun."

"Yes. I wanted to give her life, Jiyong. This is the last thing that I could do, if this still won't work then I'd accept everything."

"If you're sure then I'd go with you. You know that right? I'd go with you, even in the next life I wanted us to be happily together, with Soojung too of course."

"Oh let Kwon Jiyong to be such a genius with this. Were you writing lyrics?"

That earned a grin from both of them.

"Do you have in mind, when'll we go? Cos I'd arange things at the gallery first and you must arrange things at your vineyard too since we'd be gone for a month or two?"

"I knew that you'd say yes to this so I already done with everything and wait - here is your ticket, my ticket, and Soojung's, and yeah we're leaving the day after tomorrow."

"Are you crazy? I haven't packed yet! I still have people to skype with, people that would be our next client at the gallery!"

"Jiyong - ah, did you really think that low of me? I had that taken care already, Hyeyeon is currently in our office right now taking care and managing the timeline of burgundy and of course - Dami is I guess she's meeting with our stakeholders now, representing you. So by that we'd be able to fly on friday, yeah?"

"Why are you such an amazing husband? Why are you so good at this?"

"The same to you, baby. Thank you for being a great father for Soojung and for being a husband that I would never trade you and Soojung off with anything."

"Dad?"

"Yes, baby are you okay?"

"Appa?"

"I'm here baby, why, do you want water or do you wanna pee?"

Seunghyun looked into Soojung with concerns afraid that bad things happened to his only daughter and that he can't helped but kept caressing her back. That somehow calmed Soojung. Maybe she was having a nightmare that he didn't know of.

"I'm okay appa, I love you dad, I love you appa."

"We love you too baby. You are our life. Let's be happy baby, let's be happy."

They slept safe and sound together that night. 

Having Soojung requires a lot of work but for them, as long as there is a will, there is a way.

Two more sleep and they'd go back home to treat Soojung's eyes and hopefully one month later, they'd waken up to the sight of their smiling daughter looking respectfully into both of their daddies's eyes while saying "Good morning dad, good morning appa, Can I have yanggaeng for breakfast. Ah also I still want a re-run of baking pororo episode, pretty please?"

And when that happened, they're sure that they'd all end up even more complete, with a healthy Soojung by their side.

They believed that - that would be enough. That they don't need anything else.

Just Seunghyun, Soojung, and Jiyong. 

* The poem : Having a Coke with You by Frank O'Hara, 1926-1966

* The concept that I love : Jiyong&Seunghyun's domestic life with kids, I'm such a sap for this :(

* p.s : news broke that he is getting better and that he is currently undergo a 2 weeks treatment at hospital, with that I hope it's true and I'm thankful.

*p.p.s : here it is - if you're reading this, hope you enjoyed this as much as I do.